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BROKEN HEARTS
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Posted:Jan 22, 2009 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2009 7:40 pm
3893 Views
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Ok, so I have a friend who has recently had their heart broken. This got me thinking. (SCARY THOUGHT!) Is it the same feeling between men and women? How do guys handle it when a girl breaks their heart? I know some guys totally flip out...been there seen it...shudder. I know that I personally have had me heart broken quite a bit. But I think when it comes down to it, there have only been 3 men in my life that have truly meant something to me and have broken my heart. My first love Roy. He was 21 y.o. and I was 16 y.o. we lasted 8 months. He said goodbye one weekend and headed home to Texas and I never heard from him again. My second heartbreaker was Jason. Jason had the luck of breaking my heart quite a few times. Jason and I were together for over 20 years, 18 1/2 married. He broke my heart so many times that it almost became second nature. But the last heartbreak he caused ended it all. Jason kept a secret for our entire relationship, and that secret destroyed me and our family. The last heartbreak was fairly recently. I had a male friend who I became very close to and I decided that I was stupid. So in my stupidity, I guess things were going too good and I had to destroy the goodness with my actions. My fault completely. I take the blame. He had to make a very hard decision and that was to go from an intimate relationship to just friends. This was my wake up call for my life. So I think sometimes getting your heart broken does you good. Because from each of my heartbreaks I have learned something important. So to all my men who have broken my heart over time I forgive you. And to all the guys that I might have broken their heart........WAS IT WORTH THE TIME TOGETHER? DID YOU HAVE FUN? DID YOU LEARN SOMETHING? I hope so.....LOVE ALWAYS OVERCOMES!
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Love
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Posted:Jan 18, 2009 11:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2009 7:40 pm
4209 Views
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As I settle down for the night a thought occurs to me. What is love? I mean I love my . I love my dogs. I love having a shower that works. I love my friends. But in todays age we use the word "love" in a casual way. I think "love" has lost the meaning. I mean when I was 17 y.o. I met a guy, fell in "love" then got married. Suddenly one day my husband tells me he "loves" me but is not in "love" with me. We stay aprt then get back together. 18 years down the road he tells me he "loves" me but there are secrets that he has kept hidden for our 20 year relationship. So what is love? How do you know when you truly "love" someone?
I love my husband. I love my . I love my friends. I think to each person the love you have for them is unique. My husband and I are no longer together, but he is still apart of me. He will forever be my friend and I will always love him. My are very special in their own ways. I love each of them for who they are. My friends are special. I love each one of them in a different way. I know that for some it is easty to say the words and mean them. And for others they have been hurt by "love".
I have been hurt by "love" my whole life. I sought out "love". I tried my best to figure out what love was. And to my surprise I found love. I found the love fairly recently. No it is not a person that i fell in love with. It is the peace that I finally understand that to know love you have to love yourself. WOW!!! And to think it only took me 30 something years to figure it out.
So to all my friends, I LOVE YOU!!!!
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ME
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Posted:Jan 17, 2009 3:35 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 2:42 pm
5090 Views
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Well I have made a promise to my friends...and more importantly to myself. I have made some mistakes in my recent choices of dates. I have also made some very bad choices in the way I conduct myself. I lost the respect of my friends. I am now back in charge of my life and plan on staying that way. I am Michele and I am going to be proud of myself! I am going to respect myself. I am going to demand respect cfrom the people around me! I am going to surround myself with only positive people! For those friends who have been there and stuck it out with me....THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU! I will earn back your trust and your respect.
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Memories
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Posted:Jan 16, 2009 4:39 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 2:42 pm
5514 Views
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Ok I will call this post "memories". I got to thinking while driving home today. I have been on my own now for about 3 1/2 months. And I have started to feel the loneliness. There are certain things that are great about being on your own.
1. No one to answer to
2. Do what you want when you want
3. Shower as long as you want
4. Take as much time getting ready as you want
5. Be completely in charge of the t.v., computer, liquor etc
But there are also those "little" things that you miss being on your own. And some of them are hard memories to erase.
1. Nobody to talk to
2. Noone to snuggle with
3. No shoulder to cry on
4. Kisses....DAMN I REALLY MISS KISSING
5. Sex...yes I know that I can have sex still, but I want it to
be "comfortable". You know when you fall asleep with someone,
and in the middle of the night/early morning you get aroused.
THAT KIND OF SEX!
6. Touching...I really miss being able to reach out in the night
and being able to feel that warm body in the bed with me.
But I am a big girl and as the song goes...."BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY". You know that it was a guy that came up with that song....no woman in her right mind would say that!!! LOL
DID I HAPPEN TO MENTION HOW MUCH I MISS KISSING? SNUGGLING? KISSING? KISSING? AND DON'T FORGET KISSING...............
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GOOD GUYS....
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Posted:Jan 12, 2009 5:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2009 7:41 pm
6269 Views
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Well after my last posting I had a few people tell me that I was just missing out on all the good guys. I wondered to myself how can I be missing them? I respond to every message I get, and very nice to everyone, and I don't think I am too picky. So I am sorry for saying that there are no good men left. But I sure wish I could find one....LOL. Oh yeah I actually found a very nice guy the other day, oh wait a minute he stood me up!!!!! You know who you are and yes I know you already made it up to me. Ok let's see how much b.s. I get for this one!!!!
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MEN
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Posted:Jan 10, 2009 10:08 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2011 7:58 pm
6734 Views
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Oh my gosh!!! What is the deal, I mean it seems that as of late I talk to a guy online, we finally meet and then they are "MY BOYFRIEND"!!!! Have things changed in the last 20+ years that I have been out of the dating world? I mean when I was in high school and dating you dated many people, then if you got serious about one then it became exclusive between you and him. I am tired of finding the guys who want to "phuck" me then send me on my way or the guys who want to "love" me from the minute we meet. I want to date, that means several people. If I finally find a guy who has all the qualities I am looking for and wants the same things at the same time then great! But until then I am taking my time, going out meeting new people, and making friends. So if anyone knows a guy or guys that have these qualities please hook me up. LOL!!!!
QUALITIES IN A MAN
1. Be between the ages of 35-50.
2. Be in good health/shape.
3. Have a great sense of humor.
4. Be open and honest.
5. Understand the lifestyle of having friends (FriendFinder-x style).
6. Be a "real" man, not afraid to be affectionate, cry, and just show the real guy.
7. I want a guy who enjoys sitting at home curled up in bed or on the couch with me and a good movie.
8. I want a guy who enjoys going out to the movies and just taking a walk.
9. I want a guy who will accept me as I am, I am not a model. I am a real woman with a real body. I have made mistakes in my life and I will own up to my mistakes.
10.I want a guy who I can trust and feel comfortable talking to.
11.I want a man who obviously does not exist!!!!!LOL
I am a lady who is so out of touch with the real world at this point. It has been so long since I have dated that I don't even remember how anymore. So someone please remind me that "Yes Michele, there are real men in this world."
Okay well now that I have made a total a** of myself, I guess I will leave it at that! Can't wait to read the comments I get for this one!!!!
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Pt. 3
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Posted:Jan 5, 2009 8:12 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 2:42 pm
6718 Views
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This one is dedicated to all our troops....found this way back from high school.
A little shade of light,
A little bed with sheets of white.
A little sigh, a quiet room,
A little loving in the gloom.
A little pair of lips so warm and wet,
A little whisper, "Please not yet".
A pillow for the head
Slipped beneath the hips instead.
A little effort to begin,
A little help to get it in.
Two little arms that grip so tight,
When I ask "Does it feel alright?"
She smiles and says, "It feels so good",
And in reply, " I knew it would".
Two little legs wrapped around me tight,
Two little eyes glowing in the night.
A little movement to and fro,
A little whisper, "Give me more".
Two little hearts beating as one,
Two lovers having fun.
A terrific, tremendous sigh,
A little phrase, "Did you cum G.I.?"
A little effort to repeat,
A little spot upon the sheet.
A little shower when you're through,
A little drink, maybe two.
A little sleep and finally then,
Breakfast in bed at half past ten.
When you rise and put your hat on,
You look back and say.....
"GOD DID I JUST FUCK THAT???!!???"
LOL Has anyone else ever had that thought....coyote ugly..!
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From the Heat pt 2
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Posted:Jan 4, 2009 11:25 am
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 2:42 pm
6899 Views
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Ok here is my next set of poems....enjoy.
BEGINNINGS
Where does it all begin
Does it begin in the heart
Or just as friends
Is it destiny that brought us together
Or was it fate
There is no explanation on how this began
But now that we are together
There is no need to understand
THE PROMISE
You called me on the phone and this is what you said.....
I never told you I loved you,
I never even told you I cared.
I never called you on the phone,
I simply was never there.
I never gave you little gifts,
Like the ones you gave to me.
My actions must have made you think
That "we" were never meant to be.
My eyes are open now,
And I realize what I have done.
And I know it is too late
And some things can never be undone.
There is one thing I want to say
And I hope you will take it to heart.
If the chance should ever roll around again,
I promise to do my part.
QUESTIONS
If love is so beautiful
Then why am I crying?
The wounds you have caused
Have left me dying.
You left me once,
And then once again.
But the love in my heart
Keeps me trying.
SHOULD I?
Should I?
Should I love hime?
Should I make one more mistake?
If you remember, death came close,
On our last mistake.
I could not take it
But he seems different.
And I am so much wiser now.
I have learned my lessons
And he is not aware of my past mistakes,
Or I of his.
So the question still remains.....
Should I?
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From my heart
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Posted:Jan 3, 2009 7:51 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2009 1:09 pm
7164 Views
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For me it is hard to tell people how I feel. I have had the unfortunate luck to be the one who stands by and let's people trake advantage of me. I finally figured out how to release some of the pain by writing. I hope you enjoy. More to come as the time goes by.
LOOK AT ME
Everyone here listen to me
Look at my world
What do you see?
Do not try to judge me
Not even as you read this.
You guys think I am a tease
But you don't know how I kiss.
You people don't know me
Not one guy has tried to show me.
So I am not the one missing a heart.
You are the ones who have ripped me a part.
Think to yourself as you look at me.
I am a living and loving fun girl.
But you will not see
If I held you in my arms from then on you would see
My love is for you......If your love is truly for me.
LOVE IS JUST NOT THERE
I wish I could find the love
that we once shared.
It is now gone
like a breeze in the air.
I don't know what happened
it is just not fair.
With so many people
love is just not there.
ONLY FRIENDS
I love you, but you don't know.
I love you, but only in my dreams.
If i hold you, you might laugh.
My heart can only stand a little pain.
It has broken my heart to see you leave.
So I will not tell you what I feel.
We will be friends, only friends
until the bitter end.
LOVE
This feeling I have is more like a fear.
A wanting and needing of someone to be near.
The emotions grow stronger and then comes the tears.
This lonliness is a craving for you my dear.
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FLY FREE
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Posted:Dec 26, 2008 9:31 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2009 3:28 pm
7446 Views
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Butterfly open your wings
fly free
Butterfly glide through the breeze
fly free
Butterfly spread your wings
and fly free
As I lay in my bed at night,
I can feel the tears start to fall.
As I hold my pillow tight,
I can feel my heart continue to break.
When I wake up in the night,
and I reach for you.....
I will continue to reach
for I know you are there
Somewhere, out there.....
Tears on my pillow
Blankets all askew
I wish there was more
But what can I do?
I tried my hardest
But was never enough
Tears on my pillow
I wait for my heart to stop aching
I go on day by day
I wait for the phone to ring
I wait for your knock on my door
The days go by and I continue to grow
Soon the little girl will be gone
And I will be transformed
T is for the times I have struggled
E is for each day I have conquered
A is for the anger I have overcome
R is for the redemption I feel
S is for the serenity I now pocess
As I sit and ponder, I think of my friends. I have made mistakes now and then. And from those mistakes I have tried to learn. As each day passes, I can feel the little girl inside me. As I slowly move through my new life I am discovering that I have a strength that I never realized existed. I have overcome my worst fears and come out the other side as the victor. My friends have shown me tough love, at the time it hurt almost as bad as my fears. The being alone, abandoned once again. Now my eyes are open and I am ready to move on. I have grown in these last 2 months, more so in the last couple of weeks. I have loved and I have lost. My heart has been broken but my spirit beats strong. I will take each day as it comes. I will take my time and be a person to be proud of, a woman. The little girl is slowly fading in to the background as the woman in me begins to finally come out into the open. I am beautiful, I am special, I am worthy....I am ME.
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Friends
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Posted:Dec 17, 2008 2:57 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2011 6:30 pm
7456 Views
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Dreamer go away
come again another day.
Dreamer why so quiet
why do you try to hide it?
Dreamer hold on tight
don't give up without a fight.
Dreamer keep dreaming
try to quiet the screaming.
Dreamer why do you cry?
Have you lost your sweet lullaby?
Tears roll down her cheeks as she slowly hangs up the phone. What have I done? Why do I continue to make these mistakes? As she walks across the room her mind travels back to another time and another place. A time where as a she stood innocent and alone. A time where all time stood still and the monsters came to visit. Has she allowed the monsters to take over her lofe and destroy all her progress? Or will she fight to make things right? She is strong, she must find a way to carry on. Her decision is made she will do her best to make the most of the situation. You make a mistake you move on. Life is there, life is everywhere. Tomorrow is a whole new day.
Teardrops on her pillow.
Streaks roll down her cheeks.
As her voice cries out....
There is never anyone there to hear.
Teardrops continue to fall,
As she waits for footsteps in the hall.
She cries herself to sleep,
Waiting for him to return.
She will continue to cry....
Because the candle will not burn.
Star light, star bright.
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might.
Have the wish I wish tonight.
I want him to hold me, hold me tight.
I want him to be there right by my side.
I want him to forgive me and try to let go.
I want him to see the hiding trying to grow up.
I want these wishes to come true, because without you what will I do?
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Taking it slow
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Posted:Dec 13, 2008 12:20 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 2:42 pm
7518 Views
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I have discovered several things in life as of late. You should never think with your body! There are times in a persons life where they are not thinking with their brains but with their sexuality. I did that recently. I was at a low point and took up a friend on an offer to meet. Well, that was not smart on my part. I was in way over my head. Don't get me wrong, this person did not attack me, but none the less I left the situation wounded. I felt guilt and shame for what I had done. Granted I am coming out of a very long relationship (20+ years) and was not thinking clearly. I have decided to take my friends advice and slow things wayyyyyy down. My friends are now going to screen my "men" before I can ever go out with them one on one. Damn I feel like I am a 12 y.o. with daddy checking the guy out!!!! No it is the smart thing to do in todays day and age. So in other words I will be taking it slow.
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Loving life
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Posted:Nov 11, 2008 4:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2009 8:00 pm
7848 Views
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Ok, so my life has taken quite a few turns lately. My close friends know what I am talking about. But when life gives you the lime you grab the salt and tequila!!!! I have gone to my first PARTY!!!! Ihave met some awesome new friends!!!! I am on my own for the very first time in my entire life and loving it! Life is good, scary but good! I have decided to live my life to the fullest and rock on!!!!!
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To link to this blog (80sbaby71) use [blog 80sbaby71] in your messages.
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