Find ‘em Hot Leave ‘em Wet!  

CarpeJamie 51M
45 posts
9/28/2021 9:29 am
Find ‘em Hot Leave ‘em Wet!

When I was a , I felt I was being very clever by wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with an image of a firefighters shield and the :
Co-Ed Naked Firefighters
Find ‘em Leave ‘em Wet
Obviously, as a I did not grasp the nuances of implied objectification and hence subtle misogyny that I have come learn about as I have matured. The irony, of course, was that during the year when I would wear that t-shirt, falsely boasting some sort of teenage prowess, the reality was that I didn’t have a girlfriend nor was I finding anyone nor engaging in activity that would leave anyone wet (aside from a water balloon fight on a summer day). However, recently, my conversations with AF.f members has called mind this now-less-than-proud-moment of my adolescence. In the chat room, both men and women were complaining of the frustrations with on-line dating.

The complaints were varied and resonated widely with all members participated in the discussions. “All men want is sex and no relationship”, “I can’t meet a woman”, “I’ve been on this app for ## months and I haven’t gone on a date yet”, “Chatrooms are useless… are no quality people here”, “I’m tired of getting dick pics…where are the respectable men”, “Why do people have make things so complicated … I’m just looking for ….”, “ , is not what I want hear as a man’s opening pitch me.” These quotes are some of the laments I’ve heard from AF.f members.

I have been a member on this app for two months now and have certainly experienced my share of frustrations and surprises in my short time on-line. As in life are all types of people on AF.f: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. these lamenters have some self-reflection do make sure they are attracting the kind of person they are looking for and not. However, are some truths that I have divined though the conversations I’ve had with other members over the past months: 1. Yes most men are interested in sex (surprise, surprise. NOT!). 2. Many women are interested in sex; but not in lieu of a relationship. 3. are countless examples of people getting together on this site eventually whether it is for lust, love or even marriage. Nice guys are plenteously available on the site and are many ways that you can increase your odds at meeting that special someone, Mr. or Ms. Right & RightNow. So why are so many people throwing their hands up in frustration that they can’t meet someone on AF.f?

Although I haven’t met neither Ms. Right or RightNow. I have met a bunch of people and I have increased the likelihood that I will soon start meeting people and going on dates. My secret meeting people: 1. Be very certain of what you’re looking for on the dating app, pursue and be open other possibilities; 2. increase the ways that others can connect with you and get know you; 3. Attend in person events when they present themselves you; and 4. Find the inner courage and confidence be assertive in a polite and respectable manner. So far, by following these four strategies I have met many people in person and even gone on a couple of meet-ups (individual and group). Have I found the holy grail of Mrs. Right or FWB? Not yet. But, my focus is on the long-run … that eventually I will find the person or persons I click with and want have a relationship that meets both of our needs. The challenge of course is getting 2 people (in my case of a different gender) have a meeting of the minds – want the (read similar) things and connect emotionally and physically (and even intellectually and spiritually). A one night stand, FWB, finding a partner or partners is possible, in time, but it takes communication and sheer of contacts determine if you and another want the things and have that chemistry.

One member conducted a poll in the chat room see had met in person and had sex with someone within AF.f. The results were as expected: more females than males had gone out with someone (and had sex with someone) in AF.f; but not by a super large margin. Those have been on the site for longer were more likely have met someone in person and had sexual relations. Dating and relationships are complicated even when trying keep things simple. People change (or don’t), expectations and desires change and feelings change. That’s what makes things complicated … people are complex.



Tell me about what has been your secret success on AF.f.

Has the app has been successful for you in meeting up with someone or not? Are dating apps a waste of time? What is your horror story?

I’d love to hear your story. Inquiring minds would like to know.

If you wish to contact me, I've setup a private Mailbox Private message Area WHAT39S IN THE VAULT STAYS IN THE VAULT in my Blog. CarpeJamie

Check out my Blog CarpeJamie


Crazyfairy42574 47F
798 posts
10/26/2021 1:44 am

I have been on here off and on since 2004. So yes I've had some success in meeting people. Had a few people I had to block but nothing that would qualify as a horror story. It is way easier for women on here than it is for men. I enjoy reading what you've written so far. ( I found you by way of one of your comments on author51 's blog. )


CarpeJamie replies on 10/27/2021 9:06 am:
Yay! Glad to be found. Life has been busy of late ... hope to start posting more reguarly again soon. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Naughtypursuit 54F  
2736 posts
9/29/2021 6:26 am

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    I can honestly say I have no horror stories to tell. I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow. I have had other issues on the site as in pictures stolen, chat room wars however I do not get involved in that. I am here looking for what I want and so don't need to get into the mud. I have been lied to but nothing that I would consider worthy of calling a horror story.

    I have met several men from the site not all went anywhere other then friendship or agreement that we did not connect. I have had some great sexual connections but not yet found the unicorn.

    I think on this site as on any site you have to manage expectations and you have to be pretty self aware of who you and what you want.
I've deleted a lot of my blogs. I rarely blogged/blog. I enjoy reading blogs but seldom find the time to sit and compose one but thanks.


CarpeJamie replies on 10/27/2021 9:09 am:
Glad to hear the positive feedback. I'm still optimistic that the irons I have in the fire will take shape. Right now I'm keeping the bar low ... no expectations.

silk_petal_rose 58F
2317 posts
9/28/2021 11:16 pm

Lets see over the years I have met many over coffee some are gentlemen and others no so much....one tries to shift through the bottom feeders and fined the true blue gentlemen.but that takes tons of patience.

silky...


CarpeJamie replies on 9/29/2021 10:34 am:
You are absolutely right. We live in a world that is increasingly about instant gratification; so it becomes harder and harder to be patient to find the diamond in the rough amongst all the coal. But clearly there are diamonds to be found and I suppose it is worth the wait. But I definitely see how one can become frustrated and give up along the way. Happy sifting there-in is the life of the journey.

Naughtypursuit 54F  
2736 posts
9/28/2021 5:28 pm

I can honestly say I have no horror stories to tell. I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow. I have had other issues on the site as in pictures stolen, chat room wars however I do not get involved in that. I am here looking for what I want and so don't need to get into the mud. I have been lied to but nothing that I would consider worthy of calling a horror story.

I have met several men from the site not all went anywhere other then friendship or agreement that we did not connect. I have had some great sexual connections but not yet found the unicorn.

I think on this site as on any site you have to manage expectations and you have to be pretty self aware of who you and what you want.


CarpeJamie replies on 9/28/2021 7:12 pm:
Thanks for the positive affirmation. I'm glad to hear that this site has worked for you. I checked out your blogs today. I like your style. Hopefully you return to blogging more often. You have good things to say. Here's hoping you find your Unicorn!

superbjversion2 66F
23771 posts
9/28/2021 2:22 pm

I have had a very successful time on this site. Several long term relationships lasting at least a year, usually longer. My secret? Persistence and a positive attitude. This place is like panning for gold. You have to sift through a lot of sludge to find a nugget. I keep sifting.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


CarpeJamie replies on 9/28/2021 7:14 pm:
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad to hear about how successful the site has been for you. I'm expecting the same outcome. Cheers -- to finding the next nugget!

spunkycumfun 61M/66F  
39465 posts
9/28/2021 1:10 pm

I joined FriendFinder-x as a couple - I still am hereas a couple but with a different partner - to find other couples to swing with. The site was great in finding other couples, so much so there were regular sex parties for couples.
Now I'm here to blog and, though blogland has got quieter, it's still a good place to blog. To blog about sex is something you can't do easily on other sites without being seen as the perverted minority!


CarpeJamie replies on 9/28/2021 7:16 pm:
I'm glad to hear there is equal opportunity for all. I'll check out your blog for sure. Thanks for checking out mine!

Keep on Blogging!

author51 58F  
126318 posts
9/28/2021 12:41 pm

Boy, I sure do miss things in the chatroom by not going in after 7 a.m...I do not for a few reasons and some of them are due to reasons you have listed there with men and women griping about the opposite sex and this site..

As for your tips of success, you have hit most of them that have led me to more than a few meets, greets and relationships with some amazing men without a chat room meet up.. When I do go in there from 4:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. there are two men who come in that are local to me and that I have met face to face..

One I did an erotic photo shoot with who took a lot of the photos I have on my profile and one more whom I actually had gone t o school with his older brother as we live in the same town..lol.

I am glad you are and have made good use of this site for the 2 months you have been here and hope for your continued success with it.

This site and chatrooms are what you yourself make it and with the right attitude, personality and open mind one can have a ton of success and then some... xoxo

You can never have enough JOY in your life...xoxo

SEDUCE ME TONIGHT


CarpeJamie replies on 9/28/2021 7:19 pm:
I'm glad to hear about your success with the site. I love that you're a strong woman who knows what she wants. I've seen and heard how some women have been unkind to other women--especially if they are intimidated by them. I hate that it happens at all. I wish we were always kind to one another and built people up rather than tear them down. Looking forward to our continued success in all areas. xoxo

CarpeJamie 51M
122 posts
9/28/2021 9:35 am

Tips for Success on A.F.f[

1. Create a complete profile
2. Create you own personal blog
3. Create a group (to chat)
4. Post your profile on your blog
5. Create a personal mail box on your blog
6. Talk in Chat rooms
7. Check out other members blogs
8. Attend meet-up
9. Be assertive--good things come to those who seize the moment
10. Be patient. -- (like diamonds) good things come with time/SIZE]


If you wish to contact me, I've setup a private Mailbox Private message Area WHAT39S IN THE VAULT STAYS IN THE VAULT in my Blog. CarpeJamie

Check out my Blog CarpeJamie


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