Do men really want submissive women???  

Ellasboudoir 56F
1074 posts
5/1/2021 6:49 pm
Do men really want submissive women???

Happy Saturday night my fellow playmates,

I hope you are all well there in FriendFinder-x land. I was just wondering about something...

Do men really want submissive women??

Now out in the real world, I don't have a submissive bone in my body and before I met my guy B I didn't have a submissive bone in the bedroom either.

But once he stepped into my life, Katie bar the door I want him to be in charge in the bedroom all the time. Now, this doesn't mean that I can't say what my kink is that night or that he gets to decide when and how we have sex but he is definitely in charge in the bedroom. I will do whatever he wants, his wish is my command. It fucking turns me on so much to know that he is in charge AND takes care of my every need. I love to know is pleased and yes if he wanted too I would bow his feet but he has never asked.

Maybe one I will be that lucky.....

So guys do you want a submissive woman??

Girls do you like being submissive???

Tell , playmates, please share.

Ella


tallcreekgent 55M
2 posts
5/1/2021 7:18 pm

hell yeah i love a submissive girl ive been a dom for over 15 yrs love pushing to their limits they set and watching them squirm around when they are getting punished for being bad or breaking a rule


kinky1foranother 62M  
6 posts
5/1/2021 7:31 pm

I do indeed


Rayateu 65M
261 posts
5/1/2021 7:45 pm

Sometimes, but a dominant lady in the bedroom is awesome.


Sun_Moon19 42M/38F
1 post
5/1/2021 7:51 pm

Thank you for sharing! Yes, some men do want/need a submissive in the bedroom. But the question really is, do they DESERVE that gift from their woman? The gift of submission is the most valued gift a sub can give to a Dom. As a Dom myself I truly understand this as well as cherish & love my sub.


LadiesR2B1rst 58M  
1767 posts
5/1/2021 8:07 pm

I think a woman can be both and still be fun. I like a woman that make the first move or that wants me to take charge. " Variety can be the spice of life" in a relationship.


paulslookn 63M
562 posts
5/1/2021 8:20 pm

I would love to have a woman who would, enthusiastically, do as
I tell her......


NJGUY08090 55M
4105 posts
5/1/2021 9:12 pm

I like my women to play a submissive role from time to time but, I do not desire a truly submissive partner.


The1Candyman 57M
8 posts
5/1/2021 9:15 pm

i really enjoy both sometimes sub sometimes dom all depend on her mood and what she wants ! as far as i am concerned it's all bout making sure she is looked after and happy!


Magosika3 32M
186 posts
5/1/2021 10:05 pm

i find that women in my area likes to be dominant to guys that have the build or intimidatingly looking just for the thrill of taming the beast

welcome to my chats and spats


Dom__1964 57M
54 posts
5/2/2021 12:28 am

Very well put ThLkg24. Seventeen years in the lifestyle myself... and the same.. Every sub strong and accomplished and would woop most guys ass in a heartbeat for any sass.
Dom, sub connection is 90% about trust and mindset.
Not about getting all your own way from a woman.
No I don't do vanilla, have no interest.


Lkn4funwith2 56M
1202 posts
5/2/2021 1:17 am

There are many submissive men who can only feel complete with a dominat woman. I only like naturally submissive women, not the " I will PRETEND to be submissive" type. I am not referring to the M&S/sexual aspect. I have no desire for dominant women, but have enjoyed pretending to be submissive for certain women who have a specific fantasy that I can enjoy with them.


MrWrong4RghtNow 55M  
2230 posts
5/2/2021 1:39 am

Nope. Im not a dominant type so we would end up staring at each other. Just not my thing but those of you that like it, please enjoy!

My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment


MyBaffies 52M
4875 posts
5/2/2021 3:19 am

No, I'd much rather my female partner take an active role in deciding what we're doing. Typically she'd let me be in control but that's just as far as who goes on top, let's change positions, shall we try it on the kitchen table, that kind of thing.

But I'm more than happy for her to decide she wants to sit on my face for a few minutes, or asks "Can you take me from behind?", or takes my hand and moves it down between her legs.

I've no problem with her telling me what she wants.

Baffies

Link to my blog: MyBaffies


DiscreetQuirky 52M
280 posts
5/2/2021 3:48 am

I like it to be a give-and-take equal partnership. In practice I've ended up being slightly more dominant in the bedroom. That's fine since I wouldn't be comfortable if she was dominant all the time. But do I want her to be submissive?...no.


BDaddys 55M
345 posts
5/2/2021 3:52 am

This is a complex psychological question but the short answer is "Yes with an if" or "No with a but" (or is that "No with a butt" )

The male of the human species is typically larger and more dominant in nature and to allow yourself to be fucked is an act of submission. So, without any criticism of those who prefer to swim against this tide, one might typically expect ~80% of men and women to prefer the male to be dominant sexually.


TicklePlease 53F  
13678 posts
5/2/2021 4:14 am

I've yet to meet a man who can tell the difference between being dominant and just being an arrogant asshole. If it were to happen organically, a d/s relationship, that'd be great but honestly, most self-described dominants I've met seem to think extended heavy eye contact and orders to "do to me what I ask" is all they have to do to be dominant and that's where they start.


profcoquin27bis 57M
4189 posts
5/2/2021 4:18 am

it is one of my dream ! i hope


BiSussi 61F
1189 posts
5/2/2021 5:24 am

    Quoting  :

I believe strongly, God made us submissive

Some women just want a “fix” have an orgasm or a few and this is the reason why they take control. Men get off easily anyway, no need to focus on him, she just focuses on herself and in the process her man will be satisfied.
It is SEX, nothing else, just poor sex without LOVE

When you love a man, you want to be submissive; you want to be adored, admired and loved. Making love is heavenly when you love your man and he loves you and he takes control in the bedroom
Give up SEX and travel the road of love and you will never be disappointed
___________________________________________-_____________ __________ _________
All I wish for are men I can fall in love with and who like Making Babies and not just want Sex! After all, when it comes to Virgin, Experienced or Very Tight I have 2 out of 3 to offer

I love pussies and adore nice dicks


classicalrebel4 66M
1735 posts
5/2/2021 5:54 am

Not for me, I really can't get my head around the attraction.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


Granny872 69F  
4036 posts
5/2/2021 6:23 am

I truly do not understand the whole d/s dynamic.

For me, mutual participation and decision-making is where it's at. I might not be the best at expressing my needs, but that's on me. If anything, I expect a man to be inquiring, engaged and perceptive about my needs or shyness. But dominant and commandeering? No thank you.


magictonguesc13 51M
54 posts
5/2/2021 7:02 am

I guess it depends on the mood.....I mostly like being in charge but there are a few times when I feel a little role reversal is a turn-on and I can be her slave!


CleavageFan4U 64M  
68355 posts
5/2/2021 7:12 am

I'm just kinky. I can be dom or sub with a lady, enjoy switching it up, sometimes even within the same encounter as we "battle" for control of each other.

Now Thats a Big One
What Is She Talking About
Bubbles, on HNW
Private Cleavage My Private Post - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets – Anything you write here is just between us


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:36 am

    Quoting tallcreekgent:
    hell yeah i love a submissive girl ive been a dom for over 15 yrs love pushing to their limits they set and watching them squirm around when they are getting punished for being bad or breaking a rule
Ok then


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:36 am


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:37 am

    Quoting Rayateu:
    Sometimes, but a dominant lady in the bedroom is awesome.
Well, I have been both.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:37 am

    Quoting Sun_Moon19:
    Thank you for sharing! Yes, some men do want/need a submissive in the bedroom. But the question really is, do they DESERVE that gift from their woman? The gift of submission is the most valued gift a sub can give to a Dom. As a Dom myself I truly understand this as well as cherish & love my sub.
Wonderful attitude. She is a lucky lady.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:38 am

    Quoting  :

True!!!


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:38 am

    Quoting LadiesR2B1rst:
    I think a woman can be both and still be fun. I like a woman that make the first move or that wants me to take charge. " Variety can be the spice of life" in a relationship.
So very true...


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:39 am

    Quoting NJGUY08090:
    I like my women to play a submissive role from time to time but, I do not desire a truly submissive partner.
Hummm okay I understand that as well. Each to their own and you sound like you know what you want.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:40 am

    Quoting The1Candyman:
    i really enjoy both sometimes sub sometimes dom all depend on her mood and what she wants ! as far as i am concerned it's all bout making sure she is looked after and happy!
Perfect man!!!


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:42 am

    Quoting Magosika3:
    i find that women in my area likes to be dominant to guys that have the build or intimidatingly looking just for the thrill of taming the beast
LOL, yep some women are definitely into trying to tame guys. I just want him to be happy but I do enjoy being submissive. Thank you for stopping by and the feedback.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:43 am

    Quoting  :

Agree 100% with these statements. You are a smart guy.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:44 am

    Quoting Dom__1964:
    Very well put ThLkg24. Seventeen years in the lifestyle myself... and the same.. Every sub strong and accomplished and would woop most guys ass in a heartbeat for any sass.
    Dom, sub connection is 90% about trust and mindset.
    Not about getting all your own way from a woman.
    No I don't do vanilla, have no interest.
I likey this attitude you guys have. You truly get what a sub wants.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:46 am

    Quoting Lkn4funwith2:
    There are many submissive men who can only feel complete with a dominat woman. I only like naturally submissive women, not the " I will PRETEND to be submissive" type. I am not referring to the M&S/sexual aspect. I have no desire for dominant women, but have enjoyed pretending to be submissive for certain women who have a specific fantasy that I can enjoy with them.
I understand that and I have never pretended to be dominant or submissive I just feel like certain guys bring out certain things in me. Inside and outside the bedroom.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:46 am

    Quoting MrWrong4RghtNow:
    Nope. Im not a dominant type so we would end up staring at each other. Just not my thing but those of you that like it, please enjoy!
LOL Thank you for your honesty I love it.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:48 am

    Quoting MyBaffies:
    No, I'd much rather my female partner take an active role in deciding what we're doing. Typically she'd let me be in control but that's just as far as who goes on top, let's change positions, shall we try it on the kitchen table, that kind of thing.

    But I'm more than happy for her to decide she wants to sit on my face for a few minutes, or asks "Can you take me from behind?", or takes my hand and moves it down between her legs.

    I've no problem with her telling me what she wants.
I understand but I am able to do all those things and more. It's just a mindset of him being dominant. But I understand where you are coming from. Thank you for sharing.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:49 am

    Quoting DiscreetQuirky:
    I like it to be a give-and-take equal partnership. In practice I've ended up being slightly more dominant in the bedroom. That's fine since I wouldn't be comfortable if she was dominant all the time. But do I want her to be submissive?...no.
Ok great. Glad you stopped by and thank you for your feedback. Perfect.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:50 am

    Quoting BDaddys:
    This is a complex psychological question but the short answer is "Yes with an if" or "No with a but" (or is that "No with a butt" )

    The male of the human species is typically larger and more dominant in nature and to allow yourself to be fucked is an act of submission. So, without any criticism of those who prefer to swim against this tide, one might typically expect ~80% of men and women to prefer the male to be dominant sexually.
Damn...okay that was a well thought out answer and thank you so much for sharing. I love hearing other people's feedback.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:53 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    I've yet to meet a man who can tell the difference between being dominant and just being an arrogant asshole. If it were to happen organically, a d/s relationship, that'd be great but honestly, most self-described dominants I've met seem to think extended heavy eye contact and orders to "do to me what I ask" is all they have to do to be dominant and that's where they start.
I completely get this. I too have met a few arrogant assholes in my life. Those are the most fun to watch when they try to dominate you. LOL. Thanks for stopping by.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:54 am

Keep searching she is out there.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:55 am

    Quoting  :

Humm okay. Well with a body like that you can pick and choose what you want.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 11:58 am

    Quoting BiSussi:
    I believe strongly, God made us submissive

    Some women just want a “fix” have an orgasm or a few and this is the reason why they take control. Men get off easily anyway, no need to focus on him, she just focuses on herself and in the process her man will be satisfied.
    It is SEX, nothing else, just poor sex without LOVE

    When you love a man, you want to be submissive; you want to be adored, admired and loved. Making love is heavenly when you love your man and he loves you and he takes control in the bedroom
    Give up SEX and travel the road of love and you will never be disappointed
    ___________________________________________-_____________ __________ _________
    All I wish for are men I can fall in love with and who like Making Babies and not just want Sex! After all, when it comes to Virgin, Experienced or Very Tight I have 2 out of 3 to offer
Dang girl...you go. I absolutely love this answer. Smart woman. Thank you for the feedback. I love it.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 12:02 pm

    Quoting classicalrebel4:
    Not for me, I really can't get my head around the attraction.
LOL. I love it. Thank you for the honest feedback. I understand. Some guys are just not into it. Not an issue I have enjoyed both kinds of men.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 12:03 pm

    Quoting Granny872:
    I truly do not understand the whole d/s dynamic.

    For me, mutual participation and decision-making is where it's at. I might not be the best at expressing my needs, but that's on me. If anything, I expect a man to be inquiring, engaged and perceptive about my needs or shyness. But dominant and commandeering? No thank you.
I understand. It is not for everyone. Each to their own. Thank you for stopping by.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 12:05 pm

    Quoting magictonguesc13:
    I guess it depends on the mood.....I mostly like being in charge but there are a few times when I feel a little role reversal is a turn-on and I can be her slave!
So true. Mood can change things. I get that.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 12:06 pm

PERFECT!! Go with the flow. Love it.


lust4life59 62F
2387 posts
5/2/2021 4:41 pm

I have involved in the D/s lifestyle for going on twenty years. 15 of it as slave/submissive of my husband. A picture perfect D/s relationship. But that doesn'tnecessarily make me a perfect submissive to anyone. No more than just any Dominant would be a perfect fit for me. I'm strong willed and stubborn, my husband could handle me and happily (for the most part) did so. And I gladly (for the most part) submitted and allowed him to do so. I think what I miss the most is the openness in the communications, which took a lot of trust on my part. Nowdays I recognize being submissive in bed is one of my sexual buttons, but being required to submit in other parts of my life pushes another kind of button, the panic button. I just can't do it. But who's to say, I might find someone I trust enough to do so gladly. I also know I'm not the same person I was when I met my husband. Right now I'm happy with being submissive in the bedroom, or even switching things up, but when play is over, we're back to being ......equals perhaps? I hesitate to use that word, because I also never felt less than. Perhaps just partners or lovers would better fit.


kamaruhl3 60M
3858 posts
5/2/2021 5:42 pm

at times. then i like aggressive at times too


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 5:46 pm

    Quoting  :

Very, very interesting and totally true, at least from my perspective. I appreciate your explanation and find it very fascinating. Love how you think. Thank you agian.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/2/2021 5:52 pm

    Quoting lust4life59:
    I have involved in the D/s lifestyle for going on twenty years. 15 of it as slave/submissive of my husband. A picture perfect D/s relationship. But that doesn'tnecessarily make me a perfect submissive to anyone. No more than just any Dominant would be a perfect fit for me. I'm strong willed and stubborn, my husband could handle me and happily (for the most part) did so. And I gladly (for the most part) submitted and allowed him to do so. I think what I miss the most is the openness in the communications, which took a lot of trust on my part. Nowdays I recognize being submissive in bed is one of my sexual buttons, but being required to submit in other parts of my life pushes another kind of button, the panic button. I just can't do it. But who's to say, I might find someone I trust enough to do so gladly. I also know I'm not the same person I was when I met my husband. Right now I'm happy with being submissive in the bedroom, or even switching things up, but when play is over, we're back to being ......equals perhaps? I hesitate to use that word, because I also never felt less than. Perhaps just partners or lovers would better fit.
Thank you for the comment. I am new to this type of relationship so I love learning about it especially from other women. I too am strong-willed and take charge in every situation except in the bedroom with B. So once again thank you for the insight.


New2Midlo 52M  
1037 posts
5/2/2021 6:00 pm

The most intense and satisfying sex for me, has been with submissive women.
As a bit of a trust junkie, I derive pleasure from a woman taking my hand and allowing me to take her wherever I think she should go. Holistically, my most satisfying relationships have been with women who've been submissive in the bedroom, because almost universally, these are women are successful, intelligent, and self-assured. They submit not because of coercion on my part, but because they want to.


upsidedownsky 41M  
607 posts
5/2/2021 8:54 pm

As crazy as it sounds, I spent the vast majority of my life not even aware of S/D... Very interesting responses all around...

*. *. *


Dom__1964 57M
54 posts
5/3/2021 12:55 pm

I remember years ago I entered a chat room on this site. It was "The Lobby" . I had not even typed a word and I was attacked by a group of middle aged women and their male desperado followers, "You're a Dom, you beat women" and "You don't respect women" etc etc. (Ofcourse I just left)
Isn't it amazing how the simple minded have such narrow views, maybe seen wrong examples.
But I'll try and explain to these morons who sit on a sex site spewing righteousness what a Dom is all about.
I've never hit a woman in anger (I'm sure you'll find most real doms the same)
The woman/ sub is my equal/ partner.
She is entrusting you with her body so her safety and pleasure are priority.
Because she is submitting gives you reason to adore her more.
Most importantly.. The level of trust, respect and honesty required between Dom and Sub is why most who have experienced the lifestyle will not go back to vanilla.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/6/2021 7:39 pm

    Quoting New2Midlo:
    The most intense and satisfying sex for me, has been with submissive women.
    As a bit of a trust junkie, I derive pleasure from a woman taking my hand and allowing me to take her wherever I think she should go. Holistically, my most satisfying relationships have been with women who've been submissive in the bedroom, because almost universally, these are women are successful, intelligent, and self-assured. They submit not because of coercion on my part, but because they want to.
I agree 100%. You sound divine. Lucky ladies


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/6/2021 7:41 pm

    Quoting upsidedownsky:
    As crazy as it sounds, I spent the vast majority of my life not even aware of S/D... Very interesting responses all around...
Oh don't feel bad. I had no idea either until I was in my forties and met B.


Ellasboudoir 56F
526 posts
5/6/2021 7:43 pm

    Quoting Dom__1964:
    I remember years ago I entered a chat room on this site. It was "The Lobby" . I had not even typed a word and I was attacked by a group of middle aged women and their male desperado followers, "You're a Dom, you beat women" and "You don't respect women" etc etc. (Ofcourse I just left)
    Isn't it amazing how the simple minded have such narrow views, maybe seen wrong examples.
    But I'll try and explain to these morons who sit on a sex site spewing righteousness what a Dom is all about.
    I've never hit a woman in anger (I'm sure you'll find most real doms the same)
    The woman/ sub is my equal/ partner.
    She is entrusting you with her body so her safety and pleasure are priority.
    Because she is submitting gives you reason to adore her more.
    Most importantly.. The level of trust, respect and honesty required between Dom and Sub is why most who have experienced the lifestyle will not go back to vanilla.
Yes, D/s get a bad a lot of the time but I find it a wonderful sex life. Each to their own I say.


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