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Coping With The Reality
Posted:Aug 21, 2021 3:30 am
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2021 7:42 pm
720 Views

I'm going to be very candid in this post. This is just the inner turmoil of a lonely woman who cant sleep. So take this all with a grain of salt
lt. I just need to be able to express myself.

Of course I cant sleep, sleep and I generally are not friends. No BFFs here at all. The other night I got a full night sleep for the first time in years. It was fantastic. The may be some underlying factors to this, but I attribute much of this due to the fact that I can not get my mind to shut off. For hours I will lay there, then I will try reading. meditating, pacing my room.

Sigh, so tired of this. I really want to get on a nice schedule. Something I can count on, By nature I do best with schedules. Nothing iron clad though I always believed that you needed to stick to a pretty consistent schedule when raising . They do best on a schedule for sure. I have been doing alot of self reflection, and it hasn't been easy at all. Digging out all the crap that you tend to not deal with internally, is like cleaning out those catch all rooms or long neglected garage. But I am at the point in my life that I need to do that. I need to deal and heal from many things in my past, put to rest what I need to after wards. This is a brutal thing for me to do. I am a pleaser. nurturer, I enjoy taking care of people. That is easier then taking care of myself. So shaky territory for me.

And realizing that some relationships I have had for a very long time have come to a end. Never easy to look at changing your life, and all the questions that go with that. But I cant sit and be frozen by fear anymore either. I know I can and will manage to do what is right for me. I think you have to look at just yourself, not dependant on anyone else being in the picture. What if you were going to be alone> ? You Have to be able to be happy alone, and healed alone. Other wise any relationship will never work out. I cant depend on anyone else to make me entirely happy. Yes being in love enhances and urges you to keep doing well.

I have never had the support of family or a loved one to do anything I wanted. Whether it was going to college, work, even fitness goals. Never have I ever been encouraged or supported. How sad is that? Even working from home on many different things that were successful, it was not supported if I would need a hand with any household chores, or shipping etc. But when you have it, It is a wonderful feeling.

Aren't we supposed to encourage each other in a relationship? Having this now, makes such a massive difference to me. It is that sounding clap, encouragement, caring and love. That you want to see that person do what they want, and be happy. I have always done that for everyone else, and now I can see how a real relationship should be. It should be all facets of your life. Spiritual, emotional, sexual, mental, etc. That one person who you know will call you out when you try to not deal with your issues.

I told you that I have a lot on my mind. When you realize that you are on the cusps of needing to make some major changes in your life, it is like assembling a recipe. Certain steps need to be taken in a certain order and time factore. But I do know that my future looks very bright and I have faith..........

Sleep, why cant we be friends?

Ann
0 Comments
Essence Of
Posted:Aug 19, 2021 5:04 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2021 8:42 am
824 Views
Lay me down tonight,
With you right beside me.
Caress my inner thighs,
And listen to me sigh.

No words need even be spoken,
The sound of our hearts beating unbroken.
Dancing in time to each other presence
Happy with just the other's essence.
4 Comments
Who Needs Sleep
Posted:Aug 18, 2021 1:12 am
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2021 9:22 pm
853 Views

Good evening!

Thought I would come on here and write since I can not seem to sleep. Have tried many different remedies, but as usual if something is on my mind I need to purge or create.

Insomnia and I, well I need to unfriend Insomnia. Who the heck names anyone that anyway - lol? Yes I am delirious from lack of sleep. It is roughly almost 4 am. But I will get there yet.

I was thinking about sex, big surprise there. I think about it alot, dream about it. Masturbate thinking of what it might be like. Curious about so many things, You know how you get to the point that you feel like you have forgotten what it is like to be in the sexual realm of things. Now you all know I have my toys, and I do love them. But they will never come close to the connection you have with another human.

I wonder about sights, scents, feelings, and how it will feel of course. I think we all do wonder about different people that strike our fancy. I was watching a video earlier of a interracial couple going at it. Mmmmm, I was just imagining.

Been doing alot of painting, trying to figure out somethings that are far too private to share. But each day I am getting things figured out and standing on my own two feet still. Little known fact is that I was afraid to drive for quite a few years. And when I did leave the house, I used secondary roads to get into town instead of the freeway. It was a huge source of stress wondering if the roads were icy going into town. I also go through periods where I am afraid to leave the house. Little things like taking out the trash or getting the mail can be huge things for me to overcome. And I force myself to do just that, because I know it is part of that psychological training that if you are overweight you are a embarrassment to your family and should not be seen. How very sad is that?

I hope everyone is having a good week. Almost towrd the weeknd , time goes by way too fast.

Ann
4 Comments
Erotic Daydreaming
Posted:Aug 16, 2021 9:10 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2021 7:53 pm
1098 Views
Dancing into the room, looking around. Waving to some friends, yes I see you there way over there in the corner. I am not even going to ask what y'all are doing there under that table, but do carry on.

It's time for me to bring the sexy back out. I put her away for a bit because I just wasn't feeling it. Or I worried that it would not be the right thing to do in my current relationship. But it is, so now I shall because I am so damn horny right now for a certain man. So I am going to close my eyes and recount just how I am feeling and what I dream of that would be happening:.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So all day long now, you have been on my mind. Each time I think of you, I feel the tingling in my pussy, and I can tell that I am getting wetter and wetter. Now it is night time, the house is quiet and you are all mine. I lay back and let my fingertips run across my lips, imagining how you might kiss me. God I so need you to kiss me. I want to feel you cupping my face, looking into my blue eyes and kissing me with the passion that you only read about. The kind that ignites ones whole body. Of course I would be kissing you back with just as much passion and desire. I would be able to feel your body heat, and some hardness forming.

Running my hands down now across my ample bosom, the one you look at all the time. Wanting to feel your hands and lips all over them right now. Arching my back as you kiss my neck, trailing your tongue all the way down to my nipples. Taking your time with each one, I am dying because with just that I am about to cum love.

Feeling your hand on the small of my back, you are back to kissing me yet I can feel one of your hands feeling the silky hairs on my pussy. I normally would shave this, but decided to closely trim instead. With the sigh I just heard I think you are really liking the silky softness, and more. I feel your long fingers tracing the outer lips and feeling that I am very wet for you already. You look up at me, and I say "Please don't tease me". You chuckle and dive in, as I part my creamy white thighs just for you. It is like "Welcome to my inner sanctum". Feeling your lips and tongue working their magic on me, with one or two fingers deep inside me now. You can feel me orgasming and you rush to drink it all up, over and over again.

At last it is my turn to please you, or so I think. You tell me "No, not this time. I need to be inside of you now." On this rare occasion I actually obey your command, and I love that you growled it. You climb on top of me, and we are both holding our breath. WE have dreamed of this very moment for so long, sometimes wondering if it would ever happen. We both knew it would though, and you are looking into my eyes as I feel you entering me slowly because you know I am very tight. Oh baby you feel incredible, I have never felt anything so wonderful. It is like we were made for each other's body. WE start to fall into a natural rhythm, my legs wrapped around your waist, and holding onto your shoulders. You lean down to kiss me again, and then take my ankles and put them up on your shoulders so you can push in further. That is when you feel it. You feel me have one of the strongest climaxes that you have ever felt coming from a woman, this almost causes you to cum right then. You slow it down because you want to enjoy this for as long as possible. I am busking my hips into you know and you know you can not hold back any longer. I tell you that I want to feel you cuming deep inside of me. With that You let out a loud groan and cum with such force.

WE cling to each other like we are at long last together . I am holding you to my naked sweaty bosom, and i am rubbing your head. Its time for us to take a short nap before we cap this whole thing off one more time before we have to depart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mmmmmmm, hope you enjoy reading this. I enjoyed writing it and now I am very very wet and need to take care of some emissions. Lord almighty, never been so horny before in my life.

Keep Cumin
Ann
2 Comments
Awe Struck
Posted:Aug 10, 2021 10:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 10:08 pm
1129 Views

It never ceases to amaze me.

I am in awe and love without a doubt.

So hard, and yet so loving

Strong and stern, yet my safe place to be.

Oh how I yearn to be enfolded

Made love to and have wild ass sex

By the one who holds the keys to my heart and soul.
2 Comments
To Really See Me
Posted:Aug 9, 2021 8:24 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 10:09 pm
1174 Views

See me

See me as I really Am,
Not who you Think I am.
I am a complex mess,
Of beauty and strength.

When I show Vulnerability,
It Defines Inner Combats.
I show just certain sides,
And hide the rest below.

To see my Love for Thee,
Look Longer and little deeper.
With Patience and care,
Do you dare?
0 Comments
Outside Looking In
Posted:Aug 9, 2021 12:25 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 10:09 pm
1228 Views
I sit at my desk, a large bedroom window right in front of me. A beautiful tree right in front full. Leaves waving as me, and I sit feeling like life is passing me by. Always the outsider looking in at life, wanting so much to be invited in.

Invited in to be a part of something, yet I do not feel comfortable or like I actually fit anywhere. Today has been a trying day, the pain is very bad. I could only manage minutes on the exercise bike and just a few light arm and shoulder lifts. But it is better then nothing I guess.

I am attempting to keep busy, as to not let my one true friend Mr. Loneliness in. That is hard, and I wonder why there is just no one. Used to be a very full house of family, granted over half have passed away. Oh if the walls could talk in the old house. Laughter, tears, and fun.

Now I am trying to restart my life into something I can feel at peace with at least. Can I work? If so, where? I would love to work from home, but I think most of those jobs are taken. But I am going to try, or push my artwork, or crafts. I really would like something with a hourly wage that I could build on. I need something for me, that much I know. And to start counseling, and the reasons why are very personal and I will leave it at that.

Anyway, thanks for reading this boring post. I needed someone to talk to, and you are here and will read or not read this as you wish. Take each day at a time and remember that we all have our own baggage.

Ann
4 Comments
Weekend Chills
Posted:Aug 8, 2021 10:11 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 10:10 pm
1295 Views

I trust that everyone had a pleasant weekend or made the best out of it.

Mine was uneventful, per normal. Not sure when things will get more active really. But in due time, hopefully I will formulate the best plan for the future for myself. I want get out of the house more, but with the newest risks of Covid, I am waiting it out.

I did unpack some more boxes, and get things sorted. I didn't workout again because of the shoulder and arm pain. But I will be back at it tomorrow. This week I go to see my primary doctor and to have my CT scans done. WE are definitely going to do a referral to a orthopedist about this arms. I have to be able to more them better.

Other tan that, not much going on here. I mainly keep to myself here in my room. Work on my crafts, and art. DReam of being healthier and able to do more things. I want to be much more physically active, and I will get there yet. Might take awhile, but I am giving it my .

Here's Monday

Ann
2 Comments
Dancing and Acceptance
Posted:Aug 7, 2021 2:27 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 10:11 pm
1169 Views
I thought I would give you a little insight to the workings of my mind. So buckle up buttercup.

My mind works a bit differently than most, if you could see my room you would be surprised. I must create everyday in some way. I have my artwork, knitting, sewing, and diamond painting. And my wreath making supplies. I think of creating all the time.

I see everything in life as a dance. The way we move, the way we express ourselves. Everything can be equated to movement. When I was younger I used to dance all the time, I still do dance here at home. It is good movement and makes me fill happy.

If you ever just sit outside and let yourself become very aware of any movement around you. The trees gracefully bowing according the the breeze. Their leaves remind me of tiny fans waving. The way the sun glistens on the leaves, casting so many colors. Ever sit and watch some kind of insect. They are so graceful in movement. Even when we were infants, we moved our bodies freely. That is until someone somewhere made us very self conscious.

I have been through a lot of things, that are hard to overcome. But with my love's help I am overcoming them slowly. I was always treated like I was ugly by my mother. Then be severely bullied in school, the insecurities grew. My mother rode my ass relentlessly about my weight when she herself as was the case with all the women in our family was heavy. She used to tell me that I was a embarrassment and she didn't like to be seen with me. Then my first husband hated that I had a little weight at that time on me. I left that abusive marriage feeling so low. Enter and cue current spouse. When you are rejected for over 2 decades, it does something to a person deep down. I tried everything and it wasn't until recently that I realized that this is his problem not mine.

It takes a brave face to let your special person, in this case the man who has my heart see me just as I am. It is also a bit healing and refreshing. Because when you know that person is turned on by you, just the way you are. Beautiful feelings of finally being wanted and accepted , just a incredible feeling.

I hope whoever is reading this, you know that you are wonderful just the way you are. Takes time but you might just find exactly what you have dreamt about when you least expect it.

No frying bacon naked.

Ann
0 Comments
The Art of Feeling SExy
Posted:Aug 5, 2021 9:50 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2021 7:05 pm
1059 Views
Something I forgot talk about it:

Making your own lingerie

Finding lingerie that fits properly can be a daunting task even if you are not overweight. And seems that every label has their own sizing. Lingerie especially right now, is not something you can return. There is a easy solution:

Make your own.
Measure your body in all the right places.
Pick out the fabric that you like. I like satin and lace.
And pattern after something you already have that fits you well.

You can make it fun.
All the ribbons, tassels, hooks, openings, and buttons.
You can make it as hard or easy to get out of.

I like to make mine like a jacket, so I can wear it out over a tank top here on these high humidity days. Then when the occasion arrives, I wear it alone, covered, but not fully covered. Still feeling sexy, because if you do not feel sexy, you are not going to relax as much as you might want too. You want those powerful prgasms - right.

So do yourself a favor. If you don't sew, learn how. The machines are not that expensive for a base line one. And depending on the type of material, -it is not that expensive either. You could even make your partner something.

Have fun]

Ann
2 Comments
Slick COVID S.E.X
Posted:Aug 4, 2021 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2021 9:11 pm
1425 Views
As we all know, the numbers are increasing again as the Delta Variant makes head way, and another one coming from North America. So predictions are that things may be closing back up. I think it is important to limit exposure when possible. Sanitize, clean, wash, sanitize.

Why one might want to start buying drums of Hand sanitizer and dipping yourself, your loved ones, possible pets, co workers, and what have you. Bleach is our friend, soon you will see everyone with pale blonde or white hair - and you will know what happened. Bleach splashed clothes, homes, everything. But we must all do what we have too.

Which brings me to this site, and most of us being some very horny buggers. Now if you are lucky enough to find a certain someone who strikes your fancy,and then you go and get yourself at least in some strong like, or in my case love. What now?! I mean I was all horned up before I met this man, and now it has increased fold.

So my solution is the full body condom. One for each of us. Now we will be all naked underneath which w2ill serve as some eye candy for sure. I know that I am very for his swizzle stick, and he is for my pom poms. So we put these full body condoms on, not sure if they have a draw string the bottom, that would be ideal. Get your oil, whatever kind you want. I wouldn't recommend the same type as you used in your car, but a nice vegetable oil, canola oil. No french fry grease though, unless you are both hungry. Slicker yourself up real nice, and have him or her do the same. Throw a new shower curtain ( remember we really don't want the mildew) on the floor and have at it.

Then hope in the shower with the bleach, and hand sanitizer and a big ole scrub brush. Scrub each other until both are a lovely shade of pink.

I don't know about you, but I needs to get me some of my man and soon. This is a safe bet, and not too expensive. Now whatever motel you are in, they might not be too pleased about the mess.

I digress, about the mess. WE ALL NEED SOME

Ann
8 Comments
I wanna know
Posted:Aug 4, 2021 1:01 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2021 7:33 pm
1032 Views

https://youtu.be/2yaQijlKYmk

I Wanna Know
Joe
Alright, oh, oh, oh
It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, hmm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So, I wanna know
I wanna know what turns you on (Yeah, I'd like to know)
So I can be all that and more (I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile
Girl he never understood what you were worth, hmm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I'm the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna know
I wanna know what turns you on (I wanna know)
So I can be all that and more (I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile (Make you smile)
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
'Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
'Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true
I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh
I do believe that there's a love you wanna share, oh, oh
I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh
So I wanna know
I wanna know what turns you on (I wanna know)
So I can be all that and more (And I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry, oh yeah
So I can be the one who always makes you smile (Oooh tell me, tell me)
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
'Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
'Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I wanna know what turns you on (I'd like to know, I'd like to know)
So I can be all that and more (I wanna know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile
(I'd like to know, I wanna know)
I wanna know what turns you on (tell me girl)
1 comment
Yearning
Posted:Aug 3, 2021 9:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2021 11:2 pm
792 Views
Sometimes I am a Angel,
Other times I am a Bitch.
Up to you on when I switch,
Or maybe I will get that itch.

Try as I might, always the odd man out
Never quite making the cut
Or having the right timing in life
Still I take it all in strife.

Holding on to the love that I need
Knowing I can trust him with it all
Living on the barest of emotions,
Yearning to feel his strong arms holding me.

Breath in, breath out
Shaking it all about
When I really want to shout
Hoping to see his face soon ...............

Oh the yearning....................
0 Comments

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