I dreamt of you last night
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Posted:Dec 6, 2018 3:14 am
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2021 10:50 pm
1520 Views
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This a fantasy that is between two consenting adults, who would have discussed boundaries, limits and established a safe word long before any touching happened.
When I laid down to sleep you were on my mind. I thought about the stress you are under right now and how scary it is with everything going on. With a final thought of wishing that I could do something to help, or be there for you I drifted off ….
We were there, at the place of think of as ‘our’ spot, no bugs. It wasn’t cold but it wasn’t hot either, it was perfect.
I was feeling bratty, I wanted to fight, I wanted to be forced, I wanted you to take. I didn’t want nice or pleasant or kind. I wanted raw and primal. I didn’t want you to hold back or be soothing.
You had all my toys and some toys of your own. You warned me to behave or I’d be handcuffed and dragged out into the woods. I smirked at you and said “you can try.” You didn’t just try; before I could make a sound, you had me pinned up against your SUV with my hands behind my back and cuffed me, not fluffy lined cuffs but cuffs that law enforcement use. You leaned over and whispered “I warned you. You are going to beg, you are going to plead and, in the end, I will take what I want and you are going to give it to me.”
The brat in me picked up her head and smirked. I was ready for a fight and figured you could not drag me into the woods and remember the toys; I was wrong. You did not bring all of the toys or even the bag. You only brought one and it was enough … you grabbed the magic wand.
You dragged me far enough away from the road that no one would find us and I fought back. I knew every whisper you had made was about to happen. You were going to strip me down to nothing, leave me nothing to hide behind and I was going to give you everything that you demanded and even things you didn’t.
We came across a log, with rough bark and covered in moss. When you paused I knew this would be the spot. I argued with you “But it’s dirty, there are bugs .. I don’t like it.” You pushed me over it with my legs dangling off the ground and put your knee in the middle of my back. I watched as you put your gloves on and had two reactions .. dread and hope.
My mind wasn’t sure it liked where this was going but my pussy was on fire. I ached and dripped with the thought of surrendering, of having no control; of knowing you were going to do exactly what you wanted and my body was going to like it.
You asked me to repeat our safe word, I did. I tried to engage you in talk but you refused to talk to me at all. This was a lesson that didn’t need words. You were going to talk to me with your hands, with toys and in the end, I would hear you loud and clear.
My mind tried to guess what you were going to do and prepare for it but I didn’t know. It was scary and exciting at the same time. You pulled my skirt up to my waist but left everything else on. I promised to behave if you took the cuffs off .. you slapped my ass hard enough to sting. You ran your gloved hands over my ass and down my legs. The contrast of the gloves against soft skin was erotic. As you ran your hands up my thighs, I tried to guide your hands to my pussy. That earned me another slap on the ass. As you rubbed the sting away, my soul sighed and I knew I was in trouble.
There was something about you having all of your clothes on and me bare from the waist down that was exciting and left me wanting so much more than you were giving me at the moment. I wanted you to slam deep down into my pussy, I wanted to be gasping for breath .. I almost begged.
My body craved hard and rough, you gave it gentle and soft. You explored every part of my body and listened for the sighs, moans and whispered pleadings. You rubbed, pinched and rolled my nipples between your fingers. You ran your fingers down my back, over my ass, between my thighs and down to my ankles. You rubbed and pinched my clit, slapped my ass and pussy. You kept changing between soft and rough, so that I didn’t have a chance to figure out what you were doing next.
In the end I begged and pleaded. I cried and screamed and I’m pretty sure at one point I threatened to give you the worst case of blue balls if you didn’t let me cum. When you finally let me have an orgasm it was the most powerful one I had ever had.
As we walked back to your SUV, you looked at me with a smirk and said “next time the brat wants to play she only has to ask.”
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Polyamorus and what it means to me and mine
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Posted:Jun 24, 2016 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2021 9:10 pm
3794 Views
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that means that I have more then one committed relationship.
What it means:
I do not fuck everyone who offers.
I do not cheat
I do not help anyone else cheat
Yes both of my partners know I am on this site, in fact they both have accounts here
Yes both of my partners are aware that I do have dates with others
No they do not get details, nor do they want them
I am not looking for another committed relationship/partner
I can and do enjoy friendships and just because the sex is not there does not mean I wouldn't love to chat or hang out sometimes
While my profile says bi-sexual I am more of a I am turned on by people not by their gender. I have loved and enjoyed the company of men and ladies.
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keyboard warrior
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Posted:Jun 8, 2016 7:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2021 9:11 pm
4625 Views
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definition:
A person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the Internet, typically one who conceals their true identity
I've seen it happen over and over again! The sad fact is a lot of bullies like to hide behind a keyboard and make fun of people and or belittle them. In a world where fate likes to knock people down you'd think that those of us, on this site, where we tend to be vulnerable people would be more careful of their words but they don't.
Instead they like to act like THEIR experience is the ONLY experience and anyone who has a different one is a liar or wrong or an idiot.
The human body has the amazing ability to react differently depending on the person, people, situation and stimulation! The same goes for the mind.
So for all of you out there that think you're big and bad behind a keyboard just remember you are NOT the best thing since sliced bread that I know
I have meet the best thing since sliced bread and he/she does NOT treat people like that, online or IRL.
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I itch so I write.
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Posted:Jun 5, 2016 12:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2019 10:00 pm
4767 Views
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Thought I would write down some thoughts.
This is totally my issue
I have this problem, well two problems actually. Depending on how much I want to get into the details will depend on how far I discuss my issues.
I have this love/hate relationship with pain. I hate pain, I don't like it but without it I cannot orgasm. I love orgasms, so I've learned to accept pain in order to have it.
I have super control over my orgasm. I can stop and completely turn off any physical reaction that I am having to what my partner is doing. I could be in mid-orgasm and stop, just completely stop the psychical reaction.
I never realized how much men think that having an orgasm defines "good sex" because for me it's not. I have a different definition of "good sex."
Good sex for me is fairly simple. Did my mind get turned on? When the sex is over does the thought of the next time he touches me leave me craving him, his touch, and or next encounter? Does the mere mention of his name leave me wet and aching?
Here is the other side of the control issue when I had my hysterectomy years ago the surgeon decided to tighten my pelvic floor. What he didn't tell me was that it makes me tight, like virgin tight.
I'll wait for you men to wipe the drool off your chin ....
While in theory it sounds great the reality is it can be painful (remember I have a love/hate relationship with pain) for me and 99% of men cannot last due to it. Given men's idea that orgasm is so important it creates problems .. ego problems.
So men pay attention, orgasm is not the most important part of a sexual encounter, at least for me.
If you can make your name hover on my lips, even if I don't call out your name, well then honey you are doing everything right!
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Submit or Surrender?
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Posted:Aug 27, 2015 8:17 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2021 5:38 pm
5435 Views
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An acquaintance and I were having a conversation about BD (without the SM). He used the word submit and on the inside I bristled. So I started thinking about the words submit and surrender and what they mean to me.
To me submitting is doing something that I don’t necessarily like or want to do but do it because I’m submitting to the other person and their desires. Some definitions of submit in the dictionary are “ 1. Yield to the control of another, 2. Hand over formally, 3. Accept or undergo, often unwillingly.”
To me surrendering is letting go and letting that other person have complete control. It is a choice made and a gift given. Some definitions of surrender are “1. give up or agree to forgo to the power or possession of another, 2. The act of surrendering (usually under agreed conditions), 3. Relinquish possession or control over.”
I am not saying that the first time that I am with someone that I would surrender like I would say after several meetings. Trust is key to being able to really let go and be who you are when no one else can see; being the you that can admit yeah I like that or no do that and I will not be happy. The you that can strip down (or be stripped down) and not be self-conscious about the stretch marks, love handles or whatever physical thing you think is “bad” about your body.
While there are parts of my body I’d love to tone I also admit I have had four babies, nursed those babies and with that comes a body that shows the marks of being a mother. From running from one appointment to the next and making the god awful dinner choice to hit a fast food place because it’s convenient and you know by the time you get home food will be the last thing you want to make.
I’m open and honest, sometimes too honest and it can get me into trouble. I just don’t believe in wasting people’s time or energy and I appreciate being treated the same.
I have replied to emails, a lot of emails and the one thing that I just don’t understand is why the request for a picture? I never ask for pictures because to me it doesn’t matter. What attracts me to you is not your face or body .. it’s your mind. If you can’t turn my mind on then I’m not interested in meeting. There have been times when people’s fantasies just don’t line up with mine and I never expect anyone to change their fantasy for me. I’ve learned the hard way that it is much better to say while "I respect your mind and thoughts but for me that doesn’t work", rather than submitting just so I can meet up with someone. Surrender taste so much sweeter!
I submit for you, I surrender for me!
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Moments
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Posted:Aug 4, 2015 7:21 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2015 9:56 pm
5920 Views
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I know what it feels like to send a message and not get the response you were hoping to hear, it’s happened to me more times than I care to remember.
That is the one thing I hate about sites like this one. No matter how effectively and completely spelled out a profile is there is always something that is left out, or not explained well enough. How do you put into words your hopes, desires and wants without sounding conceited and or standoffish? How do you bare your soul and spirit and not be crushed by unkind words or being ignored? How do you find enough time in the day to meet the demands of life while trying to feed your soul, your spirit?
In the stressors of life how do you just be you, just live? How do you take the time to cherish that moment that if you are not careful you will miss. In the mad dash to “live your life” you forget to stop and smell the flowers, watch a butterfly float across your path or hear the birds singing to you.
I don’t have any answers, only more questions and like many of you I just do the best I can with the moment in front of me.
I leave you with a quote from my favorite movie:
“Tomorrow. A place not like today, or yesterday; a place where things are better. That’s where I’m going.”
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Long time no blog :(
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Posted:Aug 2, 2015 3:35 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2015 7:04 am
5666 Views
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I tired to stay up to date on here but life just ran away from me and I just did not have the time.
I currently work two jobs, full-time graduate student and have several commitments at home that require (at times) a lot of my time. That leaves very little "me" time.
I've worked out a way to take some me time though that includes ... well several ways to keep what happens on here or my yahoo account private, just between me and the other person.
I have said before I am not looking for a commitment, which I'm not but I also am NOT looking for a string of one night stands either. I'd love to make friends, which at times includes sex, but doesn't always have to be sex .. make sense?
I know this is short but I have to get two papers written and I'm getting up in about 3 hours to head up to Mt. Rainier for a day of fishing and photo taking.
Until later,
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Exploring
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Posted:May 27, 2015 2:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2017 1:52 am
6409 Views
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Exploring
Have you ever wished that someone would be open up to exploring? I just love touching, caressing and figuring out just what makes you have a hitch in your breath … that one thing that leads to pleading for them to never stop but also wishing she/he would take it to the next level in intensity. Feeling the goosebumps that follows that single breath on ..?
I love to just explore. I think that is my favorite thing about “new” relationships. Where everyone knows a little bit but not enough to form a routine of well this worked before and he/she really likes that so I’ll do what I know works.
Everyone has boundaries and those should be respected, no question, but exploring can lead to new and exciting feelings. It opens up yourself for so much more. Many times it is our demographics that lead us to put limits on what we “like” instead of exploring to figure out what we DO like, for ourselves not anyone else or what they expect.
I would love it if someone would just explore me. Take their time and get to know my body, what gives those goosebumps and what makes me beg for more. So far all I’ve found are players, little pretending to be adults and leading me on thinking I have found what I’m searching for only to be disappointed!
I’m am tired of hearing I’m too old (read my profile for age) or finding the youngin’s that have the stamina to really have sex for hours only to have to deal with little boy/girl games.
I’m starting to think my fantasies just will not come true because no one out there is real enough to help make it happen!
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profile continued
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Posted:May 27, 2015 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2015 7:05 am
6475 Views
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Profile needs some work. But I feel like writing so am writing a blog instead. It’ll be our dirty little secret 
I work 50 + hours a week in a high stress environment and a home life that is more stress than enjoyment at this point. Those that know me know that when I’m wearing my cowboy boots I’m having a shit kicking day, which isn’t always a bad thing. My music taste run along how I am feeling at the moment. Everything from Lionel Richey to Luke Bryan to Nickleback to Type 0 Negative.
One of my favorite places is the river. It’s where my fantasies are made and my soul longs for something more …. But what is that “more” that I crave? Is it that soft, slow caress or that firm grip with just a touch of cause I said so?
So many times I have found that people confuse firm/strong with degrading, humiliating and or something else along those lines. Not anything that I am interested in!
When it comes to sex my body is very expressive and I tend to be vocal about what I like, what I don’t like but I also am pretty open to trying things. That being said I can be shy about it too. It just depends on how hard life beat me up that week.
Lets see what else … I’m not a kisser, makes me feel suffocated, safe and sane sex only and well lets chat and figure the rest out, shall we!
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To link to this blog (GrayEyesSearchin) use [blog GrayEyesSearchin] in your messages.
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