It had to be a Monday  

HungryTulips 41F  
4 posts
6/15/2021 7:30 am
It had to be a Monday


I had a dream a while back, it stuck with me all this time because it had me question some things that I thought I knew about myself and I found the answers less than flattering although some things that I only suspected were firmly cemented to my delight. I don't know how to interpret dreams so i wouldn't even try,besides, i think its pretty straight forward. what do you think?

My friend pita and I were at my house talking about whatever we were talking about just like any other day. she's spouting off some goofy off the wall nonsense, as usual and i'm doing my own thing only half listening. I'm not sure what it was she said that set me off but i guarantee it was stupid,real stupid and I guess i couldn't let it slide at that moment. The next thing i know i'm kneeling on my knee with my hands around her neck and she's done talking and breathing and...living. my hands are still around her neck when I'm startled by the sound of my friend Jeff walking through the door. now i realize what the whole scene looks like and his face is set in an expression that tells me that he is not going to listen to reason. I jump up and grab my ( not sure what the proper name for it is, a wooden bat, paddle, club? used in a british ball game the name of which escapes me at the moment. i'm sure you can figure out what im talking about.i want to call it english baseball but that cant be right. im from the U.S. so thats the kind of thing you will have to deal with if you're going to keep up with my story) bat that I actually do own when I'm not dreaming and found that it has other convenient uses outside of sports as I easily bludgeoned my friend to death. I realize that my day has now become jam packed with brand new obligations that need immediate attention and take a moment to ponder my dilemma. i get out my notepad and start on a to do list to organize the most efficient method of corpse disposal. i had not yet completed the shopping list when Richie walked in loudly complaining about the staple gun he borrowed earlier that week when he stopped his rant mid sentence because he saw the bloody beaten corpse of his older brother next to the asphyxiated body of his crush and started a confused jumble of questions that i was not in the right place to answer just then. i couldn't even get in a word to try to explain what happened and was very busy besides so i grabbed a pair of nearby scissors and stuck them in his throat and watched him bleed out all over my floor. upset with myself for the callous murder of my 3 best friends and the mess that i would have to clean up, i got out my mop and some garbage bags and, for the sake of brevity I'm going to skip ahead and say that 7 more people showed up before I shut and locked my front door and stopped the need to kill my drop in visitors. Now corpses richer i consult my list and decide that the first thing i need to do is get containers to put my friends inside of. I remember seeing a advert for big lots that had those large storage bins on sale that weekend and thought that was perfect as i can get most of the items on my list there. I get my wallet phone and keys and catch the bus heading past big lots. Find the bins and most of the things on my list and 2 containers of schultz fudge filled pretzels, mango peach apple juice and a pair of invader zim socks and wait for the next cashier. After a long uneventful wait, I get to the front of the line and the cashier informs me that the bins are 40% off with my rewards card. I open my wallet and discover that I didn't bring my card. annoyed with myself, i reluctantly pay full price for everything and head to the bus stop. Once home i get right to work trying to stuff my friends into the bins which are only just large enough to fit everyone snugly and all i could think was how glad i was that i didn't need to cut anyone up. that chore completed i took a well deserved breather to scout a disposal site on google earth. i pinned a spot i thought would be perfect to bury my friends when it hit me. transport! i cant take these assholes on the bus and uber is a nightmare at the best moments. fortune it seems decided to throw me a solid because right the nick walked in the door because you know, i haven't learned a thing . nick has a truck and he likes me so of course ill get to use the truck. as i was having that little monologue in my head i failed to notice the rest of me using that tragically convenient bat from U.K. to bash in nick with the trucks forehead. shit! why didn't i ask him to help me load the bins into the truck bed. he had this ridiculous lifted truck ( he said for off roading but he never goes off roading , so stupid...) that id never be able to get them into the bed of the truck the tailgate is higher than my shoulders. Aaaand i have an extra body and no more bins. so i get to dismember my first body (umm and last! i cannot stress that enough) and distribute the pieces between the bins that had a little spare room. i scrub my floor to get rid of the mess, shower and put on a clean set of clothes CRICKET!!! The convenient murder bat is a convenient murder cricket bat! i knew it would come to me. skipping ahead after he helped me load all the bins i killed my neighbor but i left him in his backyard so no extra work that time. first stop home depot for a shovel and quicklime a new reciprocating saw blade ( thanks nick). i figured it be ok to buy all of that in the same store because that home depot was super leery and hoped that while i was inside someone would steal the truck and solve my problem for me. i walk past the greeter and scan the aisles for shovels. when just jim the sales associate did a high stepped canter towards me and in his overly cheer ful ( like the auditory equivalent of grapefruit juice with spam cubes) voice (jim is an actual, ill say person that works at home depot. not jimmy not james"just jim" i'm not the only customer he says it to) asks me what i needed help finding. i tell him that i need to know where the shovels are. he doesn't point the way, nope, not just jim. he walks me to the shovel department. walks me. walks, all the way there. we arrive there and this is the only part of the dream that had that distorted perspective you sometimes see in dreams. the shelves were stacked high with shovels and i had a fuzziness creeping into the edges of my vision an felt dizzy. i took a deep breath and as i focused. Just, jims voice, was prattling on and i made myself pay attention, he'd been talking the entire time! Adz? Spade? Trowel? Flat ? square? it took me a minute to understand what was going on andi realize he was asking what kind of shovel i needed. i shrug and expressed that any type would do. with that bit of blasphemy Jim, Just jim let me know in no uncertain terms that was not so. because blah blah sand, soil blah marsh, hard packed bla shale blah. i looked down that endless row of shovels and woke up panicked and more irritated than i can remember ever being about anything. it a stupid pointless chore of a dream that went nowhere and i didnt even learn how to murder properly! things got better after i got up. i mean, i haven't killed anyone since. its a low bar but it is an improvement.

forgotforgetting 55M
7971 posts
6/15/2021 8:17 am

Huh. There is a lot to unpack there. Let's start with the bat and game - it's called cricket and a cricket bat. As for the rest, it would take too long.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde


lastmanoneaerth 51M

7/4/2021 4:24 pm

WIth friends like you there are no enemies (or living witnesses)


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