Happiness is about being okay
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Posted:Dec 14, 2019 5:02 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2020 8:02 am
4919 Views
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I'm so glad sex can be a great part of being happy. When I was growing up sexual pleasure was either taboo or reserved for marriage and babies. If you were queer or bi or trans or too obviously straight and " there", you were uh, er, um not okay. School, church, parents, doctors, authority figures just put a lid on sex. Oh you couldn't help notice the sticky sheets in the morning, or the thrill of jerking off, but as to "what's it all about?"--well what I learned from my brother and cousin was more stimulating than informative.
Fast forward 50 years (yeah, imagine that  ), no more wet dreams but still feel that woohoo ecstasy. Sure love to watch young people enjoy each other, but I still enjoy the activity myself. AND I think there is more toleration and even encouragement of sexual activity--especially safe, sane, consensual. And it's more okay than ever to be bi, gay, trans, straight, queer, questioning, asexual even. That makes such a difference.
I've met some happy women and men on FriendFinder-x. They love being they are and are not age-ist or looks-ist. Stereotypes are breaking down. You really can be you are. Yes, you have to be careful. That's probably always and forever. But you can like you are. You can like others like you are. You can like they are. Sex, for me anyway, is not all or nothing, but a menu of possibilities: I love the restaurant but don't always select the item. I am selective, though, 'cause I can't stomach everything. Even if I'm not crazy about the meal of the day, I don't stop eating. And my "dishes" are always clean for maximum enjoyment.  Being okay is a great beginning for happiness. !!!
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Eating out and in
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Posted:Nov 29, 2019 3:46 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2019 6:51 am
4135 Views
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Sex is a bit like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Takes preparation but quickly consumed and must be re-visited with some regularity. Difference is that sex is in each of us waiting to be shared in safe, sane, consensual ways. Eating you have to go get the food from the market, the garden, the fridge, the stove. Eating in just requires willingness. Sure there's preparation, maybe lots of prep, but all you need is right there--just waiting for willingness to get to it. Might not take long to eat but it's a renewable resource.
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3
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Making others happy even if only briefly
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Posted:Nov 20, 2019 3:27 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2019 5:44 am
4427 Views
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I grew up desiring to be human. It's what I was taught. It's what I bought and considered what I ought to be. Then I learned that "to err is human--to forgive divine". Un hunh. Right. Sooo, to be human was to be GOOD, honest, truthful, virtuous, courageous, wise, strong, moral, virtuous, admirable. But it was also to be, uh, um, er "human" as in vulnerable, flawed, have weaknesses and imperfections.
So which is it? Well, both inseparably. We are not Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde unless our souls are broken. No, I do not like to use the term "human" for our species. Rather I have come to regard us as "humanimals". Yup. We're on a continuum with the animals, with nature and her ways. We may aspire to be "human" in some exalted way, but we become hypocritical if we deny our natural functions, including our sexualilty. It is so easy to avoid, deny, ignore our sexual self understandings (I'm not fond of the term "orientation" because it seems fixed, static, as if we don't change or evolve over a lifetime).
I have evolved. From a confused, naive, messed up boy who allowed wet dreams to equal sextasy, whose fantasies were oh so delightfully gay, whose discoveries were passionately straight, whose self-understanding was increasing bisexual. Wow.
And now I realize that for me sex is a gift of happiness, not a possession to hoard, but a moment to enjoy with mutual satisfaction from those who want to have a happy moment with me. Yes! Yes! Yes! So what that it doesn't last forever. For me I'm not sexclusive but it's fine if you are. We are not enemies. . I am into safe, sane, consensual pleasure even if brief and singular. Just needs to be genuine and happy.
Sorry to be so long-winded. It's just time to be happy, long or short. Too much pain in the world--so much unnecessary, imo. Happiness is a renewable resource. Enjoy reality.
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Horny and happy
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Posted:Oct 1, 2019 6:50 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2024 7:15 am
3570 Views
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Feeling great these days. Healthy diet, exercise, enough rest, enjoyable activities. And I love sex, mostly solo for now because I can't host and not really free be, uh, er, "". But "dishes" are super clean and inviting. Horny enough for a brass band: trombone, French horn, trumpet. Woohoo. Age is by no means all "dust and injury" but there's get up and go too. Um and go o . ...\8
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That special touch
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Posted:Sep 16, 2019 8:01 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2019 6:57 am
3524 Views
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Ever notice how special a sincere touch can be? Same with a smile and a pleasant word. I love naked pleasures, sharing, mutual affection. Amazing how good it feels to enjoy and be enjoyed another person. Takes time to get beyond the shyness of getting acquainted, feeling safe and non anxious. But oh those touches mutually invited and delightfully satisfied are priceless. Enjoy yourselves. I'm here for enjoyment too!
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3
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Passion and Compassion
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Posted:Aug 24, 2019 7:15 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2019 3:17 am
3441 Views
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To me passion, like desire, is an appetite. Compassion, though, is feeling another person's or other people's feelings, including how they're handling what's going on in their life. Because there's nothing wrong with my appetites I stay curious about to uh, well, what to eat or sample or whatever the appetite is. But I just can't be okay with what's happening in me. Satisfaction is impossible without "the other" being okay and in a similar place.
With desire for touch, for sex, for intimacy I have to feel a mutuality: it's more than "consent" even if it is at least consent. Mutuality that I think about is more like Yeah, let's get acquainted, check each other out. If there's chem, compatibility, well, that's great. If not, that's okay too. We at least took a step. Our situations just didn't match. But maybe they could or would another time, or maybe we move on with good will just the same.
At this time of my life, I'm a bit fragile emotionally and physically but I'm still passionate and curious and because of who I am, still very compassionate. Makes me happy when others feel the same way. How about you? I am so curious!
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3
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Mutual pleasuring
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Posted:Jul 16, 2019 6:33 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2019 3:07 pm
3231 Views
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Feeling horny but worried about what someone else might want or expect? Not to mention being anxious about mixing microbes? Here's an idea. Getting acquainted over cyber space is so different from face-to-face acquaintance. Our photos are static. Our bodies are not.
Soooo, we might well wonder "IS REALLY YOU? You don't look like your photo!" So it goes, eh? But, here's an idea. IF after usual back and forth corresponding or texting, you want to get together for more than coffee, but maybe not for full sex, then how about mutual masturbation.
Just seems like a safe, sane way to get happy in a NSA way. More can be negotiated. Enough can be enough. Even less can be more What do you think?
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3
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We are not a spirit with a body, but a body with a spirit ;)
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Posted:Jun 1, 2019 6:31 am
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2019 12:47 am
3185 Views
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Yup aging is not only a state of mind (spirit) but a physical reality. Butts are real. Ifs not so much. Well maybe. ANDs still matter when the equipment works just fine, even though somewhat "refined" (or is it "redefined"  ). If you want to meet let me know. Maybe we will meat. But anyway let's chat. Wish I could host or that you could. So many things matter so much more than age. After a very serious life, I'm exploring desires, pleasures but really just into sane, safe, consensual relationships. I'd rather be happy than sappy, wouldn't you?
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More than "performance"
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Posted:May 8, 2019 12:07 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2019 8:30 am
3203 Views
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When the Beatles sang "What would you do if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me?", they expressed an anxiety about performing. That's always impressed me--they were courageous to be honest about their own performance anxiety. Me too. What about you?
But their answer rings true to me: "I'll get by with a little help from my friends." YES! YES! YES! We can do that with each other and for each other. Finding friends as adults isn't about performing like a star, a model, a "performer" as much as it is about enjoying our natural humanimality. Mutually, respectfully, passionately. At least that's what it is for me. Yes is Yes. No is No and hold any insistent expectations. Here's to greater happiness all around. We can be bi with a little help from our friends Smile:it be cums us
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Correspondence
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Posted:Jan 22, 2019 4:44 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2019 4:24 am
2934 Views
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Hey there adult friends. I'm looking for women and men who like to correspond about their feelings, sexperiences, sexplorations, desires and how you cope with a repressive society and internal passion. Love younger people for their curiosity and view on life. What matters? Friends! Sex is just part of how I'm put together, but an important part. How about for you? I love to please and have a hot imagination.
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Feelings
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Posted:Dec 31, 2018 3:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2024 7:15 am
2654 Views
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I feel great. Really. Would you like some mutual feelings? I feel you. You feel me. Or we watch each other feel ourselves until we feel comfortable enough to touch each other? ! Just seems so natural and pleasurable and renewable It doesn't have to lead anywhere but it might. Open to possibilities. Enjoy sexplorations, don't you?
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The hardon between the ears
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Posted:Nov 5, 2018 3:43 am
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2019 1:11 am
2934 Views
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What's a lonely old guy in good shape for the shape he's in do with the adjustable hardon between his legs? Many complain about fakes and phonies on FriendFinder-x. Not me. We may all be here because we value sex in all the different ways we value it, but actually finding matches that really light our fires is like ... like what? Finding a hardon in a haystack. While some of us may want that one and only (with exclusive access and a whole, healthy person to go with the pleasures of intimacy), seems to me most of us are looking for relief from loneliness and/or variation from the sameness to which we have become accustomed and want something more. Let's face it, some of us are just hot and horny a whole lot and it messes with our lives in many ways.
I have lots of views, flirts, hotlists, even correspondence andI love it all. What's going on in anyone else's life is beyond my control. If something nice happens between me and a woman and/or a man, that's great. It's mutual and without insistent expectations and may or may not happen again. So it goes. It's natural and feels necessary within certain consensual limits. I am at the center of no one else's life but my own. I don't want a or a pussy for a pet but rather a humanimal who is thoughtful, kind, affectionate and passionate. That allows for a wide range of behaviors and individualities. So be it. That's life.
If your eyes have swept through this much text, you're my kind of woman and/or man. The rest is getting behind what's up front. Maybe you're a care-giver or burdened by a physical condition--well that's me too. What we have to give one another that is sane, safe and consensual matters more than what we hold back. I love pets. Mmmmmm
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5
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Feeling Wholesome, Whole
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Posted:Aug 22, 2018 8:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2019 2:26 pm
2821 Views
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Feeling a tug to take a break from FriendFinder-x. In "All That Jazz" the main character choreographs an erotic dance--very hot--after which he concludes "We promise so much and deliver nothing." That was before social media and places like FriendFinder-x.
I love corresponding with W and M, remain hot and horny even more than ever, but I miss the whole experience. My wife and I love each other deeply but sex is out and going to explore "senior living facility". My awkward gait and unsteady balance make using a cane easy. Caregiving is exhausting and I've neglected my own care. We've grown apart together and now I need an environment of greater interaction. She doesn't seek the same and is not ready to come with me.
I seek safe, sane, consensual sexploration. It's integral to my whole being. We've talked out our differences thoroughly. Being wholesome is not about shutting down who we really are, nor making one aspect of who we are the whole of our being. I simply love giving pleasure fully as much as receiving it. More and more I am attracted to the philosophy of Epicurus and the relatively new Society of Friends of Epicurus. It's about being whole as individuals with friends and family and living pleasantly with what it takes to have enough, to be satisfied with sufficiency and let go of insatiability and all that is perturbing.
letting go of patterns, prejudices, pre-conceptions and engaging my whole being as musician, philosopher, "masseur", pleasurer. What keeps me on FriendFinder-x is the passion, the searching, and the deep longing for wholeness. If you've read this far, you're a friend. Thanks
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