He makes me laugh
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Posted:Jul 16, 2021 5:58 am
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2021 8:31 am
4977 Views
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I often write about conversations that take a negative turn. This one is not the case. This ongoing conversation has made me laugh so many times, I have lost count.
He sent me a message with his pic (face not a dick pic) and said he would like to chat. I looked at his profile and let him know that he is on the younger side of my age limit, but we could talk.
He then proceeded to be a gentleman and have a wonderful conversation with me. After a couple day of chatting on here, I agreed to talk to him offline using the KIK app.
I have to say I love his sense of humor. He has made me laugh every day. This morning was no different his first communication was all of the hilarity and I could not help but literally laughing out loud.
I am not sure there will ever be anything more than a developing online friendship, but if nothing else, he has kept me entertained and I like his positive attitude and wonderful sense of humor. If he was 20 years older, he would be a man that I would definitely want to meet in person to see where it might lead.
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Yet Another Conversation
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Posted:Jun 23, 2021 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2021 5:13 am
4905 Views
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Had a man reach out and give me his phone number right off the bat. When I replied and said I do not give out my number like that, he asked how I talk to people.
I replied that I chat on the site (yes I am aware of its issues) and I use the kick app as well. Which allows me to chat in real time but it protects my privacy.
His response was to tell me he does not beg and if I could not be reasonable then he understands why I am single still.
I have to laugh, dude I am NOT plagued by fake profiles on here like the men are. I have had some amazing conversations with some nice guys and have NEVER asked anyone to beg. Well at least not for conversation...... the bedroom can be a different story 
So please, by all means take your attitude and go somewhere else. I will not ask you to beg because personally I am not interested in men that are that demanding and full of themselves.
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Yard Work
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Posted:Jun 18, 2021 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2021 3:57 am
6231 Views
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Walked outside this morning grab my mail and saw my neighbor standing in his yard with no shirt on and looking all sweaty from getting work done early today. Since he moved in next door, I have seen him around from time to time and we have waved at each other but never spoken. I know nothing about him really, except that he looks yummy in the early morning glinting with sweat from making his yard look like a professional worked on it.
I have not been seeing anyone recently, so I was horny and every weekend that neighbor was looking better and better. I might have to go introduce myself really soon and find out if he is available to do some deep digging and a little trimming for me. And not in my yard, but my bedroom.
Later that day, I was outside working on my yard, it was a task I did not like doing, but had or would horrible in no time at all. When I heard a very sexy voice behind me ask if I needed any help with anything. I turned and was staring at his upper chest and shoulders. He was tall. Looking up into his face, I saw a very intense set of dark brown eyes.
I was at a loss for words, He was even sexier up close and damn if this man did not smell of salt and earth and something else I could not put my finger on, but I wanted to put my mouth on. I was immediately wet and not from sweating.
I smiled and said hi and laughed saying if he wanted to give me a hand, making my yard look like his, was I say no. He grinned and then told me had had actually been just looking for an excuse to come over and say hi and introduce himself to me.
I was surprised and asked him why? His response was he was tired of me walking out every weekend morning while he was doing yard work and teasing him by getting my in barely clothing. This man was not pulling punches and looking back, yes I admit I may have made sure I was not wearing a bra going the mailbox and the shorts I was wearing were a bit short, but hey nothing like making sure he knew what he was looking at.
I laughed and said it was hard not notice that he worked with no shirt on every weekend as well and that showed off his muscles quite nicely.
was no hesitation, he grabbed me and kissed me in a way that I had not been kissed in a long time. It was sensual and yet aggressive without being overly so. His hands slid up my arms and while one held me close, the other went between our bodies and cupped my breast. He used his thumb and fore finger lightly pinch my nipple and shot straight down my body. Yes I was wet again today.
He pulled back long enough to grab my hand and walk with me over to my shed where I stored my tools. He pushed me up against the side and then lifted the front of my shirt and pulled my breasts out of my bra. He worked on one nipple and then the other. I was enjoying every second of it.
He then stepped back and kneeled down in front of me. He pulled my shorts down and my panties weren't far behind. He spread me open to him and his mouth went to work on my most sensitive spot. He licked and sucked and I was holding onto his shoulder for dear life. This man was very good with his tongue. Then he proceeded to shove a finger into me and I came instantly. He worked his finger in and out and his tongue continue to massage my clit while I came.
When my orgasm subsided, he stood up and unzipped his shorts. I could not take my eyes off him. I wanted to taste him and lick him from top to bottom. When I started to make my move he grabbed my hand and said next time, he was not waiting today. He had been waiting weeks to have me and if my mouth touched him he could not promise he would not lose control. I did not have a problem with that, but he wanted something else.
He pulled one of my legs up around his waist and lifted me just a bit as he leaned into me and slid his cock against my already swollen clit. I wanted to feel him slid into me but he did not and I tried to move myself so that he would but he kept himself back just enough I could not take him into me right away. I asked him if I was not allowed to taste, was I going to be allowed to ride him?
Just stared at me with those intense eyes, while he slid his cock back and forth across my clit and said he was making sure it was covered in my juices because when he entered me it was going to be fast and hard and he did not want to hurt me. That just made me wetter and I told him I was so turned on at that moment he would not have a problem at all.
He then pulled back, turned me around and bent me forward just enough so that he could come up behind me and I felt him push himself all the way into me. I was close to cumming again and let him know this. He started fucking me and as promised it was fast and hard. was no holding back. My hands braced against the side of the shed, that man pounded me as hard and deep as he could. felt amazing.
Bracing one shoulder against the wall, I reached down between my legs and started rubbing my clit in time with this thrusts, so that my hands would also stroke his balls each time he was all the way in me. This just encouraged him me harder. I was cumming again and I could feel him getting close. I let him know I wanted feel him explode deep in me, I wanted feel his cum pouring into me. He growled as he slammed into another time and I felt him release. I could feel his cock jerking in me as he was shooting his load.
After a minute or two we both stood up and began to put our clothes back on. I smiled at him and told him any time he wanted to come over and inspect my yard and help me out like that again he was more than welcome. He smiled and as he walked back across the street, said next Saturday I could come over his place and see about checking out his shed and tool.
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3 Little Words
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Posted:Jun 15, 2021 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 6:33 am
4810 Views
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Had someone ask me today "Are you ok?" That hit a nerve with me. He knew I had just traveled over a 1000 miles in 4 days to see a ill parent and it was not a good time.
Those 3 little words hit me hard. I spend so much of my time making sure everyone else around me is ok, that I often times forget about myself. I think there are times we all do that.
This time those words made me stop and I cried. No, I was not ok and probably have not been for a long ass time. I hide it well but no one can hide it forever. This time I broke. I cried for all the times I was always telling everyone and myself that I am ok I am not tonight.
My father is not well and at 79 he is fighting a battle that we all lose eventually. His race is close to being done and since we live so far a part I am not sure I will be there at the finish line if it happens fast. I go as often as I can but life and the end of it is not predictable.
I will be ok again, just not tonight. There are times we all have to bend or we break This is one of mine.
Not that I am not ok in my life in general it is just in this instance of dealing with what will be the loss of my father, I am not o I am lucky have him for so many of my life but now I am faced with that long standing tradition, the ending. It hurts already and it is hard to face.
He and I have never been super close but he is still my father. He has always been a hard man deal with. He was raised in a very different time and place. I do not remember one single time he has ever said "I love you". When I was a and said it him, he would just grunt yeah. He was raised in a family that never expressed feelings.
My grandparents were an arranged marriage and I am not sure there was love there, but back in those days divorce was not an option. My grandmother was also the type of woman that was not overly affectionate. It just always seemed like a cold house when I visited it as a . I do not blame my father for not knowing how express his feelings with his .
My mother was very different and said that she loved us all the time. Her family was the polar opposite of my fathers. Her mother told each of her every day that she loved them and was proud of them. That continued with us 19 grandchildren while she was alive. She got to meet some of her great grandchildren including my as a baby. He was born in May, she passed in September of that year.
So my parents balanced each other out. They are good together. That is another reason it is hard to see my father like this. It is also killing my mother. They have been married 58 this fall and together for 59. That is a long time to spend with one person.
My father and I have had some rough years a while back and we did not talk for a long time. As a matter or fact he would tell anyone that listened when he move Virginia to live with my brother, he had no more family in NY. He basically disowned my and myself. It has taken time to repair the damage and my is still not over his resentment. I am not sure that hurt will ever heal and when my father passes it is going to leave a lot of unresolved issues. Try as I might I cannot get either of them to admit they are both wrong. They are so alike, they are missing probably a last chance sit and talk like adults together. But no, these men in my life are behaving like small . That too breaks my heart.
So no, in this tonight I am not ok. My friend asking set it off and I am facing that I am not, nor will I be with this. How can anyone be with facing the loss of a parent? It is not ok and I am not ok. It is shitty and it hurts and I pretend I am alright but when the actual time comes that he passes, I will break again.
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A History of my tattoos
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Posted:Jun 3, 2021 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2021 3:58 am
5704 Views
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I was very recently asked which of my tattoos was my favorite. I had to stop and think for a minute and then decided that none are my favorite. I love them all. They are a part of me and I would not change a single one of them.
So here is a brief history of my tattoos.
My first is a purple butterfly on my right arm just below my elbow. I got it when I was 21, so it is 31 years old and yes it could use some touch ups but as it is, it shows the wear and tear of life a lot like me in general.
My second is on the left arm in the same place. It is a Native American Mandala. And before you make any judgements my mothers family is Mohawk and I still have relatives that live on the reservation. This did not go on lightly. It is part of my family and has meaning specifically to me.
My next one is a small heart on my left upper chest with my 's name in it. I think that is pretty self explanatory as to meaning.
After that came a lock and chain around my ankle. It has 2 initials in it and they are for the man that introduced me into the alternative Lifestyle. He was the one that took me as his sub to teach me to be his Domme. This tattoo was his mark on me and although we are no longer together, I love it still because he changed my life and my perspective on many things. I will never forget him.
My next ones include a dragon on my back holding a rose, breathing fire over it and setting it ablaze. Its a drawing that myself and my artist worked on together to come up with Although I cannot see it without a mirror, I know it is there and love it too.
I also have a wave pattern that circles my right wrist. I had planned on adding a sunset to it, but just never got to that part of it.
On my upper shoulders 3 smaller tattoos. I have a shamrock and a symbol meaning peace on the left and the word 'sanctify' on the right. I also have a larger one on the right that is the symbol of the Philippino flag, 3 stars and the sun. I got this one while in the Philippines in honor of the people that I now there.
On my left calf I have a wolf howling in the shadow of the moon. On my right calf, I have a tiger, also from the Philippines when I got to not only see live tigers literally inches from my face. And again before you judge, I was in the cage and the tigers roamed free. Then I got the opportunity to hold a baby white tiger. It was an amazing experience.
On the inside of my left wrist I have a diver down flag. There are 2 meanings to that one. Yes one involves actual diving. There other... I tend to raise that hand above my head when I am enjoying receiving oral sex. LOL
The last one I have is a spatula tail humming bird on the inside of my right lower arm. Ideally I would like to have my right arm sleeved, but that takes time and I had to put some things on pause because of covid. I am currently working on what will be the next tattoo for me.
I know some may ask for pics, but that is not going to happen, you will just have to suffice with these descriptions unless you meet me in person.
And one joke about my tats is that I have the clover on my left shoulder, a diamond is the dot of the I in sanctify and with the heart on my chest, I am only missing a spade on my ass to have a full deck.
Maybe that will be the next one..... maybe not, who knows
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Let's talk about sex
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Posted:May 31, 2021 12:33 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2021 6:15 pm
5781 Views
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I understand the basics of this website, I am not an idiot. We are all looking for something. Whether we find it or not is the question.
That being said I also am very aware there is a lot of conversation revolving around sex. I have no problem with that if it is what you want.
I however do not want it ALL THE TIME! I have no issues discussing sex and what I like and do not like. However, if you are serious about getting me into a position that it is going to happen between us, you need to be able to have a conversation about something other than sex once in awhile.
I am not a prude, so let me put this out there, if you read my profile and blog, you do not have to ask these basic questions and we can move on. For if you can stimulate my mind, my body is much more willing to follow.
I love sex, I enjoy having it on a regular basis (most of the time it is with one of my toys recently, I have 3). I do not really have a favorite position, I believe that as long as both are having fun and it feels good, there are multiple positions that we can do in the course of one go round.
Oral - I enjoy oral, both giving and receiving. My personal preference is that it leads to more activities that involve you being inside more than my mouth. However yes sometimes a blow job is not a problem to be given just for the fun of it. But be warned I may expect the same courtesy from you at another time.
Women want to get off just as much as men, so if you think I am only in this to get you off, you are grossly mistaken and if you cannot or will not put effort into my orgasm then I am going to lose interest in you really quickly. My blog, my opinion don't like it, don't read it.
Threesomes - I have had MMF ones and liked them very much. Have never done the MFF ones because I am NOT into women. I tried it once, was not interested and no desire to try again. Women are beautiful creatures but I am not attracted to them. Would I do one again, sure if I found the right 2 men.
Anal - Yes I have done it, am I a huge fan no. Will I do it again, possibly but it does depend on the situation. Honestly here is a place where size does matter to me. If you are huge IT AINT HAPPENING. That shit hurts if you are not careful. Typically I just do not prefer anal. Again this my blog and my preference, if you do not like that oh well, you are not in my bed right now to have that discussion with me.
Public/Outside Sex - Not a fan, there are times and places where it can happen outside, but you are not going to find me having it where there are a lot of people around. Now if you want to go for a walk in my back 40 for a natural experience, there is a chance that could happen. But be prepared for all of nature, there are critters and bugs out there. Another reason I prefer my bed.
Car sex - That too depends on the situation. I have absolutely had sex in a car, but it is not something I feel the need to do these days. In my opinion that is a younger persons game. I have a house and a super comfy bed that I would rather put to use. It also allows for more changing up of positions and activities that can be done. However, I have also given a blow job or two while on the road. For this I have to trust your driving. If you cannot navigate us safely down the road, I am not putting my life at risk for your pleasure.
Alternative Lifestyle Sex - I feel this covers a broad spectrum of sexual experiences. If you have read any of my previous blogs, you might have seen that I have been involved in past activities that have been both Domme and sub. I prefer being a sub. I was taken as a sub and taught how to be a responsible Domme and even lived that lifestyle for several years with a wonderful man. It was a lot of work. Not just the regular relationship work, but being a responsible Domme work. I loved the man and liked the role, but it was not something I felt 100% comfortable in and he and I discuss that a lot. It was NOT a one sided relationship by any means. Had he not passed away, I would not be here, but would still be with him. He was THE one. We all have that one.
I do not think for any other man I would be able to actively step into that role and maintain it again.
As a sub, I have very few issues. I know most of my limits, a few have been tested deeply and yes I know where that line is. Others have not been pushed, so those might in fact be softer limits, but I may not really know until I find the right man that can test them with me safely. Trust is HUGE in that type of relationship.
I know there are tons of other topics in the realm of sex that I have not covered and if there is an opportunity between you and I, and you choose to bring them up, we will have that conversation.
That being said, if you truly want to get in my pants on a regular basis, you had better be able to talk to me about things that are not just sexual in nature. Intrigue me, make me laugh, regale me with your life experiences and I will probably find you very attractive and want to take my clothes off for you when we are at the point where sex is the thing we are discussing.
Because once a man has gotten me to that point, I am all about the sex and not only will want to talk about it, will be wanting to get both of us naked to put into action all that we have discussed. You might just be surprised to here me whisper in your ear how much I want you to fuck me!
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Body Hair
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Posted:May 31, 2021 6:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2021 4:03 am
6573 Views
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I personally like a man that has hair on his chest. He does not have to be Grizzly Adams hairy, but I do prefer hair over a bare chest.
I know there is a lot of men that shave their chest to show it of better, but my preference is that you don't.
It is not any different than a man's preference whether a woman shaves her pubic area or not. Some keep it trimmed and some shave it all together. Others go au natural. Any way is fine, I have done all 3.
My legs get shaved pretty regularly in warmer weather. I like a lot of women I know, do let them go a little longer in the colder weather especially if I am not actively involved with anyone. There is just no need to bother. But they still get shaved.
However, the pits get shaved regularly regardless of what the season or reason. I will not let them go no matter what.
Now as to other areas of a man shaving, his face, it is yours, do whatever. I like beards as long as the are maintained. Start looking like a wild man and I might ask you to do some trimming, but never more than to neaten it up a bit.
Head hair, I think bald is beautiful. But there is also something to be said to be able to run my fingers through a mans hair as well. I have no real preference either way. Just be hygienic with it. I keep mine clean, please do so with yours.
But a man's pubic region is another matter for me. I do not mind pubic hair, but damn if you are so hairy, your dick is damn near impossible to see, I have a problem. Also when I am giving you head, the last thing I want is a mouth full of hair before I even touch you.
Shave that shit, or at the very least trim it up. I am not one for a lot of male pubic hair. And to be honest if you have hairy balls, at NO point will they be going in my mouth. I had one guy, whose opening line in a communication to me was that he wanted me to suck his hairy balls. I declined politely as I was immediately turned off. But also for other reasons, not just the hairy balls portion.
These are my preferences and I know everybody is different. I am not saying any way is right or wrong, just what I like in a man. None of these are 'deal breakers' in the larger scheme of things (other than me sucking hairy balls, will NEVER happen).
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New Things
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Posted:May 26, 2021 5:10 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2021 4:35 am
4298 Views
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Recently I have tried something new. I am not inexperienced in some aspects of alternative sexual lifestyle, but I do not now everything there is know either.
Having recently met someone who has introduced me something new, I am finding I am having questions about myself and what I have learned.
Things I do know about myself, I tend be more the submissive side. I have tried out the Domme role and it was a great learning experience but yes I am more submissive than switch and/or Domme. I can step into the role but it is not something I want to do or feel completely comfortable in.
I have also had experience with a threesome. MFM I am not into women at . Tried that once many many years ago and I was not into it at . That ended abruptly and I have absolutely no desire try it again. The mere thought turns me off.
What I had not tried before was more than a threesome. Part of the reason being never been involved with anyone who wanted try something like that and partly because it was not something I thought I would ever want try. There are certain social stigmatisms about group sex. I have experienced my own judgements there as well.
I am not going into details of what transpired, but I was a willing participant and although I enjoyed the event. I am not sure how I feel about it now. It was not the event itself, but my participation in it. It comes back to my own judgements.
The person I attended with has asked me to attend another such type of event and here is where I find myself in a dilemma. Part of me is VERY excited about it, but part of me is like NOPE never again. It honestly comes down to my personal opinion of myself for being a participant in this type of event.
I am struggling with how it made me feel in the moment and how it made me feel the next day. They are VERY different feelings and therein stands my internal conflict.
I thought I could say I knew myself pretty well up until this happened. I find myself questioning some of my previous preconceptions. Now I am not sure and I really need to figure this out. I know it is a growing experience, but as we all know, growing up can be painful and the end result is not always a perfect finish.
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Rejection
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Posted:Mar 29, 2021 2:26 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2021 6:19 pm
4605 Views
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Do all men think a woman cannot handle rejection without going 'psycho'?
I have recently met in real life 2 men that I have talked to on this site and there was no connection in person. I had a nice talk with them but there was no real interest on one or both sides, so we part after a nice conversation and call it a day. I say thank you and have a nice time and that is all for me.
I do not stalk them and get that not everyone that meets is going to want to continue contact. I respect space and accept this is real life.
What I find amusing is that I see them online (their profiles are on the whose online section at that top of the landing page) and I make no contact. There is no need. They are doing their thing and I am doing mine.
One recently sent me a message saying that to avoid me he was deleting his profile. LOL ok dude, I had not reached out to you and you have not contacted me either until that message. I saw no need for you to do that, I had not so much as viewed your profile since the night we met.
I think it is sad that there are so many crazy women out there that it seems men think we are all going to behave like that.
Maybe its an age thing, I am too damn old to put that kind of effort into someone who is clearly not into me. And especially not into someone that I am not into.
I promise you, if we meet in person and I know there is no connection between us, we can part ways with a friendly goodbye and go our separate ways. I will see you online and you will probably see me, but there is no reason for either of us to take drastic measures to avoid each other.
I can handle rejection and I would rather a polite no thank you than someone who fears talking to me, to give me that courtesy or someone who feels they need to delete a profile to avoid me.
But hey, I get if that is all you have experienced, that is what you are expecting. What can I say, I am different. I have not stalked anyone and do not plan on starting now. I have no time to waste on fruitless efforts.
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It's been a while
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Posted:Sep 22, 2019 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2021 2:29 pm
4003 Views
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I have been off this site for quite some time and not sure how I feel about some of the changes they have made, but oh well. I will deal as we all do that chose to use this social medium.
But on that note, I have also changed a lot about me in the time I have been abstaining from online dating interactions. And some of them although not severe have left me questioning some of my choices.
Overall I am far better where I am now than where I was before and much happier in life. There is much room for improvement, but this is a journey and I am not done yet.
Most of my changes have much improved my life and my outlook. I am generally a happy person for the most part, but we all have our bad days. I am no different, some days are hard to get through but most are pretty damn good.
I have taken to doing many new things in life that I have not done before. I have once again found my adventurous spirit. I have taken trips and went exploring more than I have in the last few years. For a long time I had stopped living life and just existed. I am changing that one step at a time. I have had a lot of fun and there is still much out there for me to see and do.
So here is too exploring, learning and experiencing all life has to offer me. And if it does not offer it up, I may just go in search of it. If you want to join in the fun... I am always open to see who is a long for the ride!
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Standards
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Posted:Feb 23, 2018 4:55 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2021 5:04 am
3870 Views
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I think my standards are too high for online dating any more.
I want someone who is age appropriate, not someone the same age as my father or my . Some who is relatively close to my age. A few more or less does not bother me. However more than 15-20 difference either way is too much for me.
I DO NOT want a married or attached man. I am not interested in playing the fool for some else's issues. I would prefer to get involved with some else who does not have attachments. I am not here to break up your marriage or relationship. And I certainly do not want to be there when your significant other finds out you have been stepping out.
I would prefer some that is within a reasonable distance from me. I have a job and responsibilities that make it so I cannot just hop in my car and drive most of the day, spend a couple hours hanging out and then driving back. That is not realistic for any in my opinion. I am not saying I cannot get away for some free time, but I want to be able to spend that time enjoying someones company and not traffic. I realize that I live in an area where some driving is to be expected as this is not a huge populated city. And I would never ask or expect a man to drive a great distance to meet me. I am very much of the mind set that the first meeting should be in public, it gives us both an out if needed or the option to go somewhere a little more private, if things go well.
And since I am a tall woman, I prefer men that are at least as tall as I am, if not taller. I know this is more of a vanity issue, but it's my preference. I have been out with men a few inches shorter, but if you are in the 5'0 to 5'7 range, I am most likely not going to be interested. I would prefer you can look at my face and not my chest while we are talking.
And conversation.... lets at least be able to communicate. I am not really interested in a man that can only talk about tits and ass ALL the time. I am all for those types of conversations when the time for it is there. But if you cannot stimulate my brain at least with basic conversation, you will very likely never stimulate my body.
So I guess I to sum it up, I would prefer a man that is single, mid 40's to 50's, tall and articulate. Seems like it is asking too much these days, so therefore I will probably remain single for a long time. But even just meeting some as a prospect is difficult with those outrageous standards I have.
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Self-confidence
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Posted:Apr 1, 2017 10:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2017 11:16 am
7246 Views
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I recently had a man tell me that he was done dating skinny chicks because they are too full of themselves. Really??? Size has anything to do with that? He also said dating larger women is easier because they lack as much self-confidence and accept men like him easier.
Like him??? I asked what he meant. His reply was something along the lines, of a man that is not ripped, a little shy and generally a real man and not some model. So... Average?!?!?!?
Needless to say, I felt compelled to enlighten this man on some basic truths about THIS larger women. I do not purport to speak for any other woman.
Honey I am a big woman, I do not lack in self-confidence and sometimes have been told I'm full of myself. That has nothing to do with my size and everything to do with my attitude. Which admittedly changes with your attitude toward me. Be nice to me and I am nice to you, be an asshole.... and you will meet my bitch. It happens.
Now as a woman, I am not looking for a model. Eye candy is nice for either sex, but attraction is something that is different for each individual. So an average man, would be just fine for me. I am not going to lie, if I do not find a man attractive, I am not going to be interested in him.
However looks are not the only way to attract me. Your wit and intelligence can attract me long before I see what you look like. If you can intrigue my mind, your looks are much less likely to matter to my eyes. But I will be the first to admit, I am also a height snob. I like men as tall as me or taller. This is not a deal breaker, I have dated short men, just not a preference.
Met a man online, he was funny, we talked, got to know each other and enjoyed talking online and through a mobile app. We laughed and talked about all sorts of things in life. It was a very pleasant experience. We decided to meet. We had exchanged photos, but we all know they only show one second in time and meeting in real life is always has more depth.
We met, we both agreed, we both look like our photos. He was what I would call an average man in looks. Not a model but not a troll either. Average covers a wide base. He was in my opinion on the good side of average. We have become great friends. This decision to be friends rather than anything else did not stem from lack of attraction, but from a sense that we would be awesome friends for a long time. We tried the sex thing, but we decided it was better without.
So back to some truths... yes there are larger women out there that lack self-confidence, but there are also skinnier women that do as well. Sometimes size plays a part in that self worth in the mirror, but not always.
So a clue to as why bigger women can be a little more accepting has more to do with how we have been treated rather than a lack of self-confidence. I have been ridiculed for my weight, have had men tell me I am not attractive and even had insults thrown at me. I personally have developed an attitude of you do not have to like me, I like me and I sleep well at night. I do not need your approval to live my life.
Because of this attitude that I have met with, I try not to be so quick to judge other people. We are all experiencing something in our lives that would make someone else wonder, how do they manage? We all have our demons and angels. We are all working through this thing called life the best way we know how.
He then tried to tell me that I made his point for him, that because I was bigger, I was more accepting. I laughed, yes, but your attitude has made me much less accepting. So I started out very open, but you have slowly closed the door with the attitude you are giving me. (There are other parts of the conversation that led to this, not just this part.)
So at this point, I made my point:
"I have not seen what you look like and right at this moment in time, I am not very accepting of you. So whatever you look like, does not matter."
"So my size has absolutely nothing to do with accepting you, and YOUR attitude has everything to do with it. Maybe looking into that aspect of your conversation with women, no matter their size would be a good place to start on changing things for yourself. We cannot change others, we can only change ourselves. So be the change you would like to see in others.'
In reflection, maybe this whole thing makes me seem full of myself. But self-confidence can be a fine balance between cocky and coy in someone else's eyes. How you see me, it never going to be the same way someone else sees me. But in the end only the reflection I see in the mirror matters to me.
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