Sub vs. Worshiper
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Posted:Jun 5, 2019 12:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2019 9:10 am
2501 Views
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Since the last post was about terminology (pansexuality), I thought I would pick up on another terms that bothers me: "sub." As I mentioned in my last post, I am a professional in the world of gender and sexuality, and feminist philosophy is also part of that area of expertise. Gender is performative, meaning that we act out our gender according to, or in defiance of, our society's customs. Both my wife and are also extreme liberals and we are very open minded, so this may sound a little new wavy to some of you.
Understandably, in some relationships the terms "dom" and "sub" may be fitting. That is a relationship in which there are probably established rules and boundaries. The 2002 film, The Secretary, is a good example of a dom/sub relationship. That was one that continued throughout the week and isn't just rooted to the bedroom in the twilight hours. For my wife and I, we do not have that sort of relationship. I learned a long time ago to defer to my wife's decisions when it came to swinging and sex. As such, over time I began what I think of as "giving myself over to my wife." I know that sounds all mushy and virginal newlyweddish, but it is not the same as subbing or being dommed. I became a pussy worshiper, or more specifically, a "woman worshiper."
When you give yourself over to your partner you allow them to "take you," so to speak. While men are often penetrating women and other men, it doesn't mean men are the dominant ones as the "penetrators." My wife regularly ties me up and uses my cock and mouth like they are sex toys. Who sounds like the dom in that situation? And yes, occasionally she is the penetrator, and for a man that is pretty much the ultimate in giving themselves over to another person, the same way women have done for centuries. It does change the dynamic in a male/female partnership when both people are truly equal in terms of giving and receiving.
Over time I came to recognize that I worshiped females. Part of me wants to be one. Why should girls get to wear all the fun, lacy, tactile lingerie and underwear? It is partly philosophical, though, in that feminist philosophy and movements are always about equality, and Bowie proved a man can wear lingerie and still use is cock. But
women are awesome and when it comes to sex they are the focus. Men want to fuck pussies, lesbians want to fuck pussies, bi and queer people like pussies. The only ones not focused on the vagina are strictly gay men. Statistically speaking, there is just a lot more pussy play going on and a lot more focus on women sexually in our society. So why even keep up with the pretense of patriarchal, alpha-male B-S? We worship the female form, the female sex, the vagina, and the majority of lingerie is for the female form. As a pussy worshiper, I am more in line with mainstream, contemporary thought than most people realize. The only difference between me and a lot of you is that I am embracing the concept fully.
Women in charge in the bedroom raises the comfort level for swingers and other sexual exploration. It liberates the woman to take charge of a situation she is really already in control of anyway. When men give themselves over and "worship" their women it allows them to share in the equality of their relationship's sexuality. There is no dom and sub, no boss and cuck, but rather a man and a woman who are truly equal in their relationship, at least in their sexuality.
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Pansexual vs. Bi?
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Posted:Jun 4, 2019 11:32 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 7:3 pm
1568 Views
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First, I will begin by saying this is not simply someone's opinion. I am an advanced degree professional in the area of gender and sexuality. I just want to let you know I do speak with some expertise on these subjects. So, for the first post I would like to tackle the concepts of pansexuality and how it applies to my beliefs about sexuality.
I don't like the term bisexual primarily for the reason that it is too binary. I don't feel an attraction to a lot of guys and girls. I like male on male oral sex, but I am married to a woman and prefer eating pussy above all things. Does that sound bi? I like certain males, a lot of women, and have been pushing my own gender boundaries for awhile now. I do not consider it to be an LGBT issue for myself, and I think my wife would agree. A "Q" issue, on the other hand, is probably more apt, as "queer" is probably the closest description to our lifestyle. "Pansexual" was somewhat of a euphemism for us, a stand-in for a less political form of "queer" at first. However, over time, I began to use the word more frequently as I described sexual phenomena in my professional life. This is when I began to see how the term pansexuality was actually a better description of people's sexuality in general.
Consider the "experimental" phases some of you might have went through in college or that friend you have that didn't realize they were gay till after they had been in a hetero marriage and had . While it is true many people talk themselves into experimentation and many gay people live part of their lives either in denial, rebellion, or ignorance of their sexuality for some amount of their lives, many of us tack back and forth between sexual preferences and attitudes throughout our lives. A bi person is not always switching back and forth boy/girl/boy/girl, a gay person is not always cisgendered or vice versa, and despite what they say, most men have had homoerotic experiences sharing porn and learning to masturbate as a . So, arguably most people start out under the umbrella category of pansexual, then gravitate towards their preferences. And of course many people just open up more as they get older and more experienced.
This is not a criticism of anyone that identifies as gay or bi, but the terms don't always apply or fit. Does a transgender female have to be labeled a lesbian if she dates a woman? Do men who perform in drag shows qualify as transgender if they do it for a job? I bring these examples up because there is a part of me that is feminine; there are times when I like to wear female lingerie with my cock out. I do not consider myself trans because this is largely for sexual gratification and not a major part of my life. I like to worship pussy, but I also want to suck on a cock every now and then. So, what term describes that? Pansexual.
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