Young doesn't mean dumb
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Posted:Jan 27, 2015 4:19 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 3:50 am
8889 Views
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Three Chinese Daughters
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A Chinese man had three daughters. He asked his eldest what kind of man she would like to marry.
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"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest," said the eldest.
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He then asked his second what kind of man she would like to marry.
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"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest," said the second .
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He finally asked his youngest who she would like to marry.
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"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground," said the youngest.
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"Weather" or not
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Posted:Jan 25, 2015 6:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2015 4:47 am
8182 Views
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Just look at that sky. I think it is about to martini.
Prof
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New target of my lust
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Posted:Jan 23, 2015 4:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2015 7:00 am
8585 Views
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Life is a series of new targets, get through the term, the holidays, the playoffs (too soon over). My dad always figured if he made it to March 1st he had survived another winter. That is my current lust (among others). March 1 the parka goes away, the bicycle comes down off the rafters and coffee is consumed on the deck. (That last one might be overly optimistic.)
What is your current lust?
Prof
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Who's smarter?
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Posted:Jan 21, 2015 4:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:1 pm
8277 Views
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Wrong Understanding
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A man approached a female clerk in the department store: "Excuse me," he said, "but do you have notions?"
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"I do," she replied, "but I try to suppress them until 5:00pm."
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"Oh, no," stammered the embarrassed shopper. "You misunderstood. I need to know if you keep stationery."
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"Just until the very end," she replied. "Then I just go wild."
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I could handle that too
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Posted:Jan 20, 2015 4:28 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:1 pm
8130 Views
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Be Prepared
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Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he suddenly said to his wife, "OK honey, this is a drill. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."
She was initially surprised and flustered, but she soon settled down and was able to safely drive the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, grabbed the remote control, switched the channel, and said to him, "OK honey, this is a drill. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook dinner, and wash the dishes."
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Ouch, truth hurts
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Posted:Jan 19, 2015 5:11 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2015 4:22 am
8413 Views
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Virgin
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A guy and a girl are lying in a bed after just having sex. The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests. The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man_oh_man, I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."
The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"
"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity."
Astounded, the girl replies, "So you really love me?"
"Oh, God no!" the guy says. "I just got sick of waiting."
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Culture is important
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Posted:Jan 18, 2015 6:51 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2015 8:33 am
8280 Views
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Naked
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An European, Australian and Asian guy went for a hike one day. It was very hot. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."
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As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the European and the Australian quickly used their hands to cover their privates.But the Asian covered his face while they ran for cover.
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After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on. The European and the Australian asked the Asian why he covered his face rather than his privates. The Asian replied, "I don't know about you, but where I come from, it's the face that people recognize."
Prof
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Be careful of metaphor
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Posted:Jan 17, 2015 5:18 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2015 2:15 pm
7835 Views
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Local Pub
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Sandra and Cindy were talking about Sandra's Friday night at the local pub. Sandra was saying, "...and then the creep said, 'Why don't we play carpenter? We'll both get hammered; then I'll nail you!'"
Cindy replied, "Oh, gross! What did you say?"
Sandra answered smugly, "I said, 'No, thanks! You didn't bring enough wood.'
Prof
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Oops, wrong hole?
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Posted:Jan 16, 2015 4:19 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2015 6:34 pm
7623 Views
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Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth swapped their clerical garb for polos and khakis and time out on the golf course. After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn't be priests by any chance?"
"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you know?"
"Easy," said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language!"
Prof
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FriendFinder-x Foodie?
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Posted:Jan 15, 2015 4:52 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:1 pm
7611 Views
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I went to the doctor's office, at my wife's request, and found that our new family doctor is a young female who is drop-dead gorgeous! After she introduced herself, she slowly said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional. I've seen it all before. Now, just tell me what's wrong, and I'll check it out."
I said, "My wife thinks my pecker tastes like strawberries!"
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If it were easy everyone would do it
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Posted:Jan 13, 2015 5:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2015 6:15 am
7696 Views
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Living in Wisconsin is not for wimps. 21 below was quite the good morning today. No one can say we don't earn our spring.
Prof
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Totally ready to play
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Posted:Jan 10, 2015 12:32 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:1 pm
8029 Views
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I heard a rumor that there was some sort of contest or game happening in eastern Wisconsin on Sunday. Anyone know anything about that?
Prof
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Good to the last finger
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Posted:Jan 9, 2015 5:51 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2015 9:10 pm
7883 Views
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I'm heading out to blow the snow in 5 below temps. This may be my last post due to an upcoming lack of fingers.
Prof
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