Ever Been Humbled?
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Posted:Jan 24, 2007 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2007 11:50 am
17980 Views
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Have you ever tried your hardest to get back to your 'game' level? Have you ever tried your hardest to come out of whatever funk that your stuck in to become 'normal' (whatever that is)? Have you ever done your best to just be happy only to be slapped in the fucking face? Lol - If not, try it! Step out on a ledge sometime and flirt with somebody out of your league!!
I've been doing very well for myself lately. I've been doing what I have felt I should be doing to become MY 'normal'. I even, God forbid, started flirting again. I went out on a ledge to just remember what used to come naturally to me. Thankfully, I've just been humbled again to validate the shittiness that I've been feeling over the last couple of months.
All I can say to her is thank you! Thank you for validating my BS feelings. Thank you for not allowing me to get over cocky. Thank you for, well, just putting me back in the Abyss where I evidently belong. Thank you!
~ AAS (Trying to learn how to breath down here... in the middle of nowhere)
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Who Are You?
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Posted:Jan 24, 2007 6:17 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2007 12:58 pm
17766 Views
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Lately I've been wondering why online life is easier to me - or more fascinating - than RL. I think it's fairly easy to get caught up in online life over that of RL. I've come to the conclusion that I'm simply expanding who I am and that of my mindset.
When I was in the Air Force, I had a coworker of mine whose family life dissolved b/c his wife became addicted to chatting. I'm serious!! I can see how sites like this can become addictive, but I can also see how they are valuable.
When my fiance left me, going on 3 years ago now, I had nobody but my best male friend, freshmoe that I still hung out with. I fell into the couples problem of not ever meeting new people and experiencing life outside of the relationship. When I first started online dating, on a more traditional dating site, I quickly became fascinated at what all was out there. I was meeting nurses, CPA's, attorneys, etc... Before I did the online dating thing, I would've never been able to meet these kinds of people, for the simple fact that I didn't hang in this type of crowd. I do believe that you are a product of your environment and I believe these sites opens that up more.
My ex never moved out of her comfort zone. As of September of '06, she remarried, but it was to that of the person she was using drugs with. They both went to some form of rehab, and are doing well now, but come on!! You'd think she would have the desire to branch out a little.
There is a bar, in town, that many young, successful people go. I started hanging out there just to meet these types of people. I need to be more successful, and I needed to know what they were doing to accomplish what they had. This is very important to me. When I'm not out there, I feel like I'm not pushing myself... Now let's introduce the online world.
On this site, you may have anywhere from jobless to CEO's. Although this is a sex-oriented site, you never know who you are dealing with. I find this fascinating. I DO believe in these sites for this very reason. I think it was from these sites that I finally realized the vast amounts of different people and it's helped me to narrow in on what it is that I'm looking for.
I've come to the conclusion that if I'm just having sex, I really don't care what she does for a living. If, however, I want something more than that - as in a LTR - I require a girl that has goals in life. It's important to me that she have a career of her own, or working on one. I need the professional girl.
I think that by being online, my life has become broadened. I know it sounds strange, but it really is the case. I would so hate to think that I'd never be given the opportunity to meet people outside of my current 'class' because I didn't take the time to look outside. I'm very grateful that I didn't just stick to what just felt comfortable. To this day, yes, I still am very conscious of where I am in life versus where others are. I do this to push myself. Online has been almost as valuable to me as RL. However, I need RL to introduce me to those that are online. I am separating a bit from how much time I stay online. I think I needed to. I became obsessed with find the perfect partner. Now, I am going to balance it more. I'm going to keep meeting people from online, but I'm also going to keep approaching in RL.
~ AAS
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Monday Dinner
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Posted:Jan 23, 2007 5:06 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2007 2:28 am
17391 Views
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Again last night Lexi decided to play hostess. She is so funny. I really don't think she can function if she's not having a get-together. What was just going to be a simple dinner with she and her new bf and I, turned into all of us getting together.
When she and I were looking for new homes, we planned it to be in the same community. After we moved in, we learned of another friend of ours, Jaime, who decided buy one in there as well. Lexi's, at the time other best friend, Lindsay, decided to move in with Lex as well. On top of that, other friends of ours from the bar, Eyla, and her husband also own a home in there. That would be Hollie's (my hopeful new one) cousin. Whew! Are you following this mess??
One thing lead to another and there we all were getting drunk and cooking dinner. It was a truly good feeling looking around at the whole group and realizing that we're all neighbors. I can't wait to see how this summer is going to be. I have a feeling with that many bartenders living in the same place, the pool parties just might get a little out of hand. Heh! Watch out neighborhood!
How often do you get together with your friends like this? We have decided that we are going to do Pot-luck dinners every two weeks. Yummy!
~ AAS (Great to live in RL again)
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So I Did It
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Posted:Jan 22, 2007 8:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2007 10:19 am
18129 Views
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It's so much easier to 'approach' women online, for me. We all know that we are looking for others and these sites makes that very easy. In RL it's harder b/c you never know who is single and who is not. My resolution (even though I don't believe in them) this year, was to approach more women in RL.
Friday night, I decided to go to my best friend's bar again. It's been forever since I've been there on a Friday night. Evidently, they have theme nights on Friday nights now. This past Friday was Catholic school girl. Um, yummy!
Right when I was about to leave, lexi turns to me and says, 'There is Hollie right there on the other side of the bar talking to so and so...' I gave her the 'I'm totally lost' kind of strange face and needed some explanation. She reminded me that Hollie dated one of our other friends, T, some time ago. Hollie and her bf and the time, T, and a few other friends all went downtown one night and partied together. T was flirting with all of the other girls and I was left chatting with Hollie. She is very, very beautiful. After they broke up, she wouldn't return T's calls at all and I was trying to figure out a way to contact her. After a while, I guess I just forgot about her.
Hollie's cousin, E, is also a bartender there. She and her husband also own a house in Lexi's and my neighborhood. I've never been there, but I know it's right around the corner from me. I needed a way to get in with Hollie so I sat near the service bar (the end of the bar) and waited for her to collect her drinks. When she came, I kind of looked at her strange and asked her if her name was Hollie. She said yes. I said I think I've hung out with her before with her ex, T, and we were all downtown. She said it was nice to see me again and I said the same. She had a little smile on her face when she walked away. I waited a couple of hours and I called her back over. I said, that her cousin lived in the same neighborhood as me... she smiled and said that half the bar lives there and made a joke about her cousing being a recruiter or something. I laughed and then stated that we were going to be having a Super Bowl party and that I think she should show up. She said she'd like to. She then told me to keep her informed on the party. I said no problem but that I would need her phone number for that. She gave it to me.
I know that this isn't really a huge thing, but it's huge for me! I was happy that I even tried and was extremely happy that she wants to come to our party.
The best part of her is that she only works there on Friday and Saturday nights, as she has some kind of medical career. She said that she always has Sunday's off.  I guess that was her way of letting me know that she would have every reason to be at the party.
The reason, from what I've been told by others, that she and her ex didn't work out was because she was ready to get serious. He wanted to go back to school and to concentrate on attaining a medical career and didn't want to get any more serious than what they were. That was the end of everything for them. She's around 25 from what I can tell.
~ AAS (Still smiling)
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The Real Problem
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Posted:Jan 19, 2007 5:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2007 6:27 am
17913 Views
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I've figured out what my real problem on the damn site is. It's all based around relationships.
Last night, and a couple of nights ago, I have gone back to my old 'watering hole' to visit my best friend, Lexi. Most of the people that I once knew there (other regulars) were gone and nobody has seen a lot of them in quite some time. It happens! It happened to me. For whatever reason, people move on with their lives.
The people that I did know were excited to see me... Did I buy my house? Did I move in? How do I like it? How do I like the area?? I only had the intentions of stopping to say hello to Lexi and grab a quick bite to eat before going home. However, once I saw my bar friends (still not bad people), I was drawn back in. No, I did not drink and had no intention of drinking. What I realized is that I'm lacking in the form of relationships. I have missed some of them. I have missed chatting with them, playing pool with them, getting drunk with them. The drunk part is easy to let go, as I just am not in that place anymore. For those new to my blog, this is the same place that I got a DUI (not convicted yet) out of.
Again, what was supposed to be only a quick bite to eat and to leave, ended up being 3.5 hours that I spent there. I couldn't believe how much time had flown by. On my way home, I thought about how going back there got my head away from coming straight home to jump onto this very friendly (for others, not me) site. I wondered how it was able to tear me away from here. What I've found is that I require interaction and that of some form of relationship. It felt good to chat and to get caught up again. It felt good to have people want to hang out with me. This is what I lack on this site.
On here, I'm having zero luck with the ladies. I'm not exactly sure if it's because they all want NSA relationships, if it's because of my appearance, if it's because of my blog, or whether it's because of my two inch penis, but for whatever reason, they tend to run from me like the plague. Through not finding a relationship that I really require (could be a friend only relationship, or it could be a LTR), I stooped to just trying to round up any type of pussy that would allow me to pump it. I lost my focus on my needs. Sure, I have sexual needs, but I REQUIRE some form of true relationship.
I've made some decent friends from this site. We have gotten together as friends (in groups), as well as over a quick dinner or to help each other in the time of need (domestic needs, not sexual needs you jackasses). Yes, I value these relationships immensley. However, it's not the same as forming that ONE relationship that I require. The one that I require is the one where she is thinking of me throughout the day and I'm excited to hear from her. It's the one where if I didn't have time to call or write, she calls and/or writes. It's not a game-playing scenario. It's not let's see who is going to say hello first. Last night, I was approached by my friends before I realized they were even there.
Some of the 'friends' that I've made on this site, over the last couple of weeks, aren't really my friends I don't think. The one girl that I find absolutely amazing (the taken one) hasn't visited my blog in quite sometime. She's not emailed or chatted with me in the same amount of time. It always takes me to strike the conversation up with her to get things rolling. Once rolling, however, everything seems to be a legit thing, but it's almost like it's a game to her. I realize what she may be doing. She may, since she's taken, be trying to not start anything with me since she can't afford me what she knows I'm craving and needing. Another girl is part of a couple. She's completely hot and is so very sweet. As it ends up, however, our discussion is that of nothing more than her current issues and problems and that of what type of device should she buy for her computer (since she knows I'm an IT dude). It's not a real relationship.
My friends, from here, know me almost to the T. They know that I will go into my cave for quite sometime and might not ever check in with them. They know that I will be there for them if they ever need me. This is what I require. This is what I have to find on here or it's never going to work for me. I think the reason that I'm attracted to ,pretty much, bloggers only is that through their writing I get to know them (or more of a sense of them from what their profile would state). Even if it's only a friendship fuck scenario, I know that the friendship aspect of it would still get them to say hello everyday. It would still get them to be concerned about me when I'm at a low. It may not be a serious LTR, but it's strong enough to show me that I'm needed and that I'm loved...
I, folks, need to be needed and to be loved. Wow... all of these thoughts just from seeing old friends who really do care, even if they are just bar junkies.
~ AAS (narrowing in on what I need)
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Say It Right
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Posted:Jan 18, 2007 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2007 11:31 am
17494 Views
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Artist: Nelly Fertado
In the day
In the night
Say it all
Say it right
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me
I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonite you tonite
From my hands I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?
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Coworkers
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Posted:Jan 18, 2007 5:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2007 11:30 am
17572 Views
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This is something that intrigues me. Do any of you have coworkers that hit on you? Or, even better, do you have coworkers that are friends with you, but if your circumstances were different that you know they would hit on you?
When I started my career, after graduating from college, I had my HR head constantly pulling me into her office. She was soooo damn hot, but she was going through a divorce at the time. I think she was attracted, but unfortunately, she leaned on me as her pick me up for the day. She didn't necessarily discuss her divorce, other than to say it was a friendly break. This was hard as hell for me b/c I KNEW if under different circumstances that I could've been with her. She moved back home to be closer with her family before the divorce was ever final.
What I wonder, however, is if she was still here when her divorce was finalized, if our relationship would've changed. I'll bet b/c she did get the divorce, she would've be a little more guarded towards me. It HAD to have been obvious that I was into her. Even though at the time she, to me, liked me, I'll bet she would've backed off...
Do you have office crushes? I don't have any girl that's good looking in my office. I'm not sure if they do that to keep all of us productive or not, but I have zero good looking women that work here.
~ AAS
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BS Mentality
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Posted:Jan 17, 2007 5:12 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2007 10:00 pm
18041 Views
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I'm not sure why this topic pisses me off so badly, but let me lay it out for you and see what you decide.
There is a website that has to do with sugar-daddy's. It's a place for younger women to go and find somebody who is willing to take care of them for offering services of companionship. This does not necessarily mean sex is involved, but one can imagine that it's a lingering thought.
On the radio, this morning, there was a 19 year old girl that called to to brag about how successful the site was for her. She said that she'd been speaking, via email, with a 51 year old gentleman that wanted to hook her up with a car. Her response was that instead of getting a new car, she wanted cash or money-order only to pay off some debt. He agreed to send her $15,000 if she would hookup with him. He sent the money, she cashed it, and payed off school loans with the money. Now, when he emails her, she doesn't reply to him in the least.
What pisses me off is that she never has any intention of contacting this guy again. Grant it he was wrong for asking for those types of services, but she has not come through with her side of the deal. This guy is probably lonely, wanted some attention, and payed a stiff price for it. This girl, on the other hand, stated, 'He's the dumbass for sending me the money...'. That just is so BS to me. If you agree to do something, do it! She even claimed that the site is nothing but gold-diggers, and she even bragged about how she was one.
If there really is something such as Karma, this girl will get her fair share in return. My prediction is that she'll be baring multiple , all from sepearate fathers, and riding off of my tax dollars, within 5 years. Look what our educational system teaches these days!
I will not defend the guy for his requests, but I would defend him on the stance that a service was agreed upon, and this girl fell through on her side of the agreement. She is nothing more than a thief. To be honest, if you think about it, prostitutes have more honor than she does. They are ok with the arrangements, and they follow through with it. This girl is nothing but a deceptive little bitch.
~ AAS (Still don't know why this pisses me off!)
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Weekend
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Posted:Jan 16, 2007 7:54 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2007 5:46 am
17836 Views
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What a fairly eventful weekend I had! On Saturday, I met my best friend for Mexican food. It was really good to catch up with her, as we've not really had a great opportunity since I've moved in. Also on Saturday, I decided to hang my new light fixtures, replacing the junk ones that the builder chose. This may not seem eventfull to you guys, but I have to admit that I'm not the best handyman in the world. For example, the last time I tried to hang a fan on my own, I almost started a damn fire! lol - This little adventure gave me that manly kind of feeling! lmao
Sunday, I met up w/ my best friend again (actually she drove) to watch the NFL games. We met up with two other friends and drank quite a bit of beer. Unfortunately, one of the guys just found out that his female roomate died in a car wreck. I feel really bad for her family as she was only 23 years old.  After we dropped him off at his families house, we all went back to my house to grill out and drink more beer. I don't think we got to sleep until about 4 AM.
Last night, Lexi invited me to eat dinner, so she cooked some meatloaf and her new boytoy cooked the potatoes. Believe it or not, I was still a little drunk from Sunday night, so one glass of wine later, and I was right back to being all jacked up. Oops! At least this time, however, I didn't have to drive anywhere!
~ AAS (Happy to have great friends)
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Moment of Silence
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Posted:Jan 12, 2007 9:25 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2007 10:00 pm
17908 Views
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Can we all please take a moment of silence? I need a nap and it would be much appreciated!
~ AAS (Napping - Wanna Join?)
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Mixed Feelings
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Posted:Jan 12, 2007 5:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2007 11:30 am
18058 Views
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Last night was a little weird! I went home hoping to find out if the new 'target' (need I remind you taken) was online. As most of you are already aware, I had a shit day. Nope, she wasn't, but that's not where I'm going with this anyway. After I was on for about an hour, I had this really strange screen pop up. I finally figured out that it was an incoming message on FriendFinder-x. I'm not used to seeing this screen, but I have before. This is the way the dudes around me - who play for the other team - usually try to contact me. This time, however it was from an actual local girl!!
This girl seemed pretty nice. While we were exchanging pleasantries, I viewed her profile... Married, but allowed to play. Great! The next line out of her mouth - errr, I mean hands - was, 'Very intriguing blog you have...' Oh fuck, I think. Boy did she pick the best day to read my shit! lol - What can you do at this point, ya know? I can't hide the fact that I was pissed off at the world, so I just wait for her comments about my blog. The one statement that really struck a chord with me was, 'You seem conflicted.' Fuck me! How the fuck do you take that?? I seem conflicted?
I've always been one to voice everything on my mind. I guess my conflictions would reside in the fact that one day, I may feel one way, and another day, I may not feel that way. I guess that's conflicted. I actually have an example now to use with this. Yesterday, I was pissed b/c I gave too much power to a damn 20 year old Hooters girl. I saw her with another dude, when she told me she was still thinking about whether or not she would like to hang with me sometime. The reason that I was so pissed wasn't the fact that she's into another dude, it was merely due to the fact that all she needed to do, was tell me she wasn't interested instead of stringing me along. All of the other Hooters girls there are very up front about being in relationships... Don't string me the fuck along.
Today, I'm not pissed anymore. I've seen the dude that she's hanging with and if she wants to date a construction worker, great! That's her choice. The other reason that I'm not pissed is b/c all of my other fav girls are completetly chewing her ass for treating me like shit! lmao
I guess this could be construed as being conflicted, no?
What do you see (question to make you comment so that I become more fucking popular... so that I'm loved more... so that I get more pussy - or any pussy) in my writing? Am I conflicted, or am I just like everyone else in the sense that feelings change when presented with facts and situations??
~ AAS (Waiting to know if conflicted)
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If I
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Posted:Jan 11, 2007 8:51 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2007 9:06 am
17905 Views
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If I post 100 posts a day, would I become more popular? Even if my posts don't mean shit, will I get more hits?? If I get more hits and become more popular, will I get more pussy?? Let me rephrase... If I do all of that, will I get any pussy?? What is pussy anyway?
If I try my damn hardest to get to the top of 'the list' maybe I'll eventually be cool. I just want and NEED to be cool. Please, Lord, help me validate myself by pushing me to the top. You see, Lord, I need a family one day.
I think this place is nothing more than a new era in becoming the top dog. When I was a , you gave me rollerskating rinks to show off and do my thing. When I was a , you helped me on the dance floor. Now, however, I think you've given me this empty space to write in order to stand out!!
What are your feelings on this? If I ask a question of you, that will get you to answer, thus bringing you back to my blog to see my response!
~ AAS (Annoyed by some)
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Thoughts
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Posted:Jan 11, 2007 7:06 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2007 11:29 am
18280 Views
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...I'm a pissy, short, little penised asshole today. Woke up late. Got to work late... Got rejected thrice yesterday. Took my problem out on some friends that didn't need to be the brunt of my rejection... 'You're a nice guy. You're a sweet guy. You make me laugh...' Ya, but you still don't want to fuck me!... Grandfather isn't doing well at all. He's sucking on an oxygen bottle and is curled in a fetal position on the couch and sleeps all day. He was diagnosed with pulminary fibrosis a year ago. Mother says he may not make it. I still can't call him to apologize to him for yelling at him Xmas day... House is still great. Still haven't fucked in it. They fixed my back yard and added 4 trees to my lot. Symba, my dog, still loves it as he's outside all day. My neighbor has a really hot wife! Partied with the neighbors NYE. Did my best not to stare at her... Tired of smoking. It bores me. Can't seem to quit it. Do I go with patches or lauzengers?... Want to get together with the Atlanta blogger army again, but am too lazy to organize any damn thing... Trying to make new friends in my area, but am finding it to be almost a chore. Can't stand the thought of my last FriendFinder-x gf, but can't get her out of my mind either. What happened? What did I do or say? I can't quit thinking about my Boomerang Bitch. How is she? How were her holidays?? Does she still think of me? Would it matter?... More intrigued than ever with new immigrant girl, but am realizing that it's a long, long, long shot. I'm repeating my self-defeating patterns... How do you 'be yourself' in a new area where nothing is the same as everything you're used to? How do you impress the hotties in a new area? New area, new house, new year, new life? Not hardly... If I have general anxiety disorder why am I feeling so down as of the last 12 hours? It's NOT depression... If I continue to be so down, maybe, just maybe, I'll be successfull in pushing everybody away. Will I be better off? Then why am I doing it??... I know I'll be out of my 'mood' later. I'm just tired. I'm just lonely. I'm just cold at night. I'm just so damn bored. I want attention too. I want to be held as well... Traditional dating sites could work. They never have worked for me before but wtf, right? Right? Ya, right!... This site really is a waste of money, but I'm addicted. I'm addicted to staring at pussy that I'm never going to touch. I'm addicted to flirting with people that obviously are too far from me to actually want to do anything about it. I'm addicted to getting my hopes up. I'm addicted to the crash that I get when it all fails. I'm an addict... Blogging and chatting on IM seems to be the highlight of my day. How depressing is that??... Went to visit my best friend last night, but her new bf was there. Don't intterupt that... Why is dating so much easier for women?... If God is real, why am I overlooked?? It's not MY fault he can't see me b/c of my height! He's the one that made me this way... Why do women only want taller guys?? If this is a FUCK site, then why do women who only want to fuck only want taller guys?? Why the fuck does it matter? I have a cock (sure it's a tiny weenie) too. Just because I have to climb a ladder to fuck you doesn't mean I wouldn't try!... If I cut my hair, if I shave, if I dress up, will I be noticed?... Why do all the girls love me as a person but can't fathom the thought of dating me?... Am I really talking to taken girls to set myself up for failure? Do I secretly like to fail? I can't think this is the case, as I'm successfull everywhere else in my life... How did I give enough power to a 20 year old to affect me negatively??... I haven't been on a 'date' in over a year... I haven't cuddled with a girl, in bed at night, in over a year... If I move closer to you, would it matter? If I move, could I be the new cool in town? Wait! I just did that very thing and the answer is an overwhelming NO!... When you told me about your bondage lifestyle, did you corrupt my poor little head? I was a romantic, but now I have nothing but thoughts of hair pulling, ass smacking, ass pounding, sweaty, nasty sex. Why do I still know that you are 5 hours ahead of me? Why do I know that you are in the middle of throwing something in the microwave for lunch b/c you screw up all of your own cooking?? Why do I miss your poems? Why do I miss your lovable accent? Why do I still dream of you when I stare at the stars? Why will you never read this?... Why do I look for you when I get home? Why do I not NEED to see your face yet? Why am I very comfortable talking to you? Why am I thinking of you right this very second? You are a taken woman. Why do we think the same, but you say it better?? Why am I speechless around you when I'm the one that ALWAYS controls the direction of the conversation?? What is half way?... Intermission... Back!... How long can I keep this up? Why have I spent 1 and a half hours doing this? Does this help??... When I grow up, I want to be a professional. Do I have to dress like one?? Can I grow my hair out? No? Tough shit! Maybe that's why I'm not professional? Oh wait! Maybe it's b/c I misspell shit all the time? Does that make me a semi-pro? Is that why I only make semi-pay? When I grow up I want to own a BWM (told you I misspell shit all the time) When I grow up, I want a beautiful wife and 2.5 . At this point, I'll just for growing up... Think of how much time I would have to do real things if I had a gf or wife! I wouldn't be consumed looking and could focus on shit I really want to accomplish. It really is draining on this friendly site. There is just too damn much competition!!... How many fake smiles can I throw in one day?... Why am I such a fun dude when I'm drinking? Can I not be fun without drinking??... I don't believe in New Years resolutions. My resolution, this year, is to travel more. I want to go back to Italy. I want to go to Greece. I want to go to Jamaica to get naked and tan! Who wants to come with me? Nobody?? Figures! I guess I'll just waste another three weeks of vacation... Nala, my cat, ran away. I want my cat back. She was one of the coolest cats I've ever owned. I'm not getting another cat... If I check my inbox every five minutes, will an email suddently appear? If I change my picture will hotties suddently fall in love with my lovable, grumpy ass (not to be confused with AAS)?... I want to take up photography as a hobby. I'm too lazy and have no incentive to do so... When I buy a house I see myself just going home every night. When I buy a house, I see myself getting trapped into the next phase of my life w/out a partner... Am I going to be that guy? Am I going to be the guy that's always wanted a family, but ends up dying alone, when there are others out there cheating on their spouces?? I have never cheated... Why do I have a whole lot of nothing to say?... Is this free-form writing, or is it just shit? Does this even count??...
~ AAS (Not a lot to say today)
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