Warmwetone - What's Inside
What's Inside describes what is going on in my life and/or what I am feeling inside
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Saturday Night Bubble Bath:)
Posted:Aug 15, 2010 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2013 6:43 pm

It's an uneventful Saturday night...not as I had planned. My cell phone rings and it's you mentioning that you might be stopping by this evening. "Sheesh, it's already 9 p.m. - what time do you plan on showing up?"

My plan is to pour myself a glass of wine, get a good book and enjoy a luxurious bubble bath. "If I don't answer, please use my key and let yourself in."

About 10:15 p.m., you knock on the door. No one answers, so you let yourself in. You approach slowly, seeing me soaking in the tub surrounded by what seems like a 50 candles. The scent is rather calming and sensual. As you continue to watch, I sip my wine. Placing the glass down, I lay my head back and take a sponge and wring the water over my body. You are mesmerized.

After a few minutes, I stand up and take the shower sprayer and rinse the bubbles off of my body. You are watching me intensely. I seem to be holding the shower head between my legs for a long time and SMILING. As you continue watching, my body shudders as I let out a quiet moan...

Taking this as your cue, you enter the bath area and walk up behind me. You take the fluffy towel and wrap it around my dripping body. As you stand behind me wrapping the towel around my body, you begin kissing my neck. The sensation of your lips against neck is tantalizing. As you are kissing me, I pull your
hands to my breasts and help to squeeze them. My nipples are hard from the cool air and the sensation of your hot touch. Our lips then meet.

As we kiss, I feel one of your hands move slowly down my body. I feel your fingers moving between my legs and spreading my cunt lips apart. The feeling of you squeezing my breast and massaging my clit has me moaning with pleasure.

I turn my body to face you and begin to undress you. I take off your clothing slowly . . . piece by piece. When you are totally naked, I take your hand and lead you to the tub. I begin to refill it. "Get in." As the water swirls around your body, I add some fizzling sea salts to the water. The salts make your body tingle. I take a thick, soft wash cloth and lather it up. I begin to massage your neck with the soft cloth. I feel your body
relax as I move from your neck to your shoulders to your back to your chest.

When I get down to your private parts, I discover that your cock is rock hard. As I continue with my massage, I hear you moan as I stroke your hard member with the soft wash cloth. I move my hand down between your legs to cleanse your balls. I feel you tense as I stroke them.

At that point, I release the water from the tub and turn on the shower. I remove the shower sprayer from the holder and begin
to rinse your body. Your manhood is standing straight out. When I get to your cock, I adjust the pressure on the nozzle to pulse and begin to spray your cock. You now realize what I was smiling about before. The sensation is incredible! You grasp your cock and turn towards me as an orgasm rips through your body covering my face and breasts with your hot jism.

The sensation leaves you weak in the knees. Looking like you are going to fall, I help you sit back down as I continue to rinse your body. When I am done, I step inside the tub and rinse myself.

We rest a few minutes. I extend my hand and we exit the tub. I slide you into a soft terry robe and put one on too. I lead you to the bedroom where we settle in for the night
THREE HOURS OF SHEER BLISS (Alternatively titled Two Orgasmic Hours)
Posted:Aug 14, 2010 7:31 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2013 6:46 pm

We meet for a bite to eat and to catch up. Towards the end of dinner, I slip off my sandal and proceed to slowly slide my foot up the inside of your leg. The look on your face tells me that my move is a pleasant surprise. My toes climb higher and higher AND HIGHER. As I move past your knee, I can see that I’m pushing “Clark Kent” outside of his comfort zone and I love it! As you continue to talk, I just give you one of my “warmwetone” smiles. (You know what it looks like )

After dinner, we go back to your place for an after dinner glass of wine. As I exit my vehicle, I retrieve an unassuming black bag from the trunk. As we approach the doorway, you give me a puzzling look. I really do a have toy bag (actually, I store my toys in plastic containers but I’ll leave the toy collection for another story). So tonight “Clark” is going to learn all about pleasing a woman with toys.

We enter the living room. As always, your cream color leather sofa looks quite inviting. I make my way over with you following behind. Placing the bag on the floor, I sit down curling up my legs under me. You join me, your arms sliding around my waist as you pull me close. Our lips meet and our tongues engage – hmmm, kissing is sheer bliss.

As we continue to kiss, your hands almost magnetically gravitating to my ample breasts. Your hand slides inside my blouse and you pull down one and then the other cup of my bra and pinch my nipple. I unbutton the remaining buttons on my blouse to expose “the twins.” Your mouth moves to one breast and your hand moves to the other as you unmercifully tease my nipples. I mumble something about the glass of wine you promised. You release my nipples and go to get the white wine glasses.

I remove my blouse. Then, proceed to unzip the unassuming black bag and begin to unpack it. As you fill the glasses, you look on with curiosity.

I pull out (in no particular order) a variety of items – dildo, clit vibrator, G-spot vibrator, clit and G-spot vibrators (rabbit and We-vibe), double penetration vibrator, “tongue” vibrator, nipple clamps, nipple beads, nipple vibrator, nipple suckers, nipple extenders, nipple rings, butt plug, lubes – Liquid Silk, Kama Sutra Warming Gel, Anal Eze, eye mask, rubber whip, leather whips (short and long), leather paddle, cuffs, bustier, thigh highs and heels. You comment, “it is amazing how much this seemingly small bag holds.” “Looks can be deceiving,” I laugh as we look at the contents spread all over the floor.

You hand me a glass and propose a toast, “To toys.” I smile as our glasses clink together. I take a sip and place the glass on the table beside me. You smile as I reach for the We-Vibe II.

Ah, the We-Vibe – so many possibilities – use alone or together – provides simultaneous clitoral, g-spot and penis stimulation. The double penetration vibrator – best used with another female friend. Picking up my small Lelo vibrator, I turn it on and take your hand. Demonstrating the various speeds, I comment, “Small but mighty! Placing it on my nipple or clit is orgasmic heaven.” I place it on my nipple and moan. My legs spread apart and you rub my crotch through my jeans. “It’s time to lose these.” I stand up and you help me unzip and remove my jeans. We kiss – fierce and passionate. Our tongues dance. Your fingers find my soaking wet slit. With your fingers, you work my pussy hard and fast. I can’t stand it - I’m on FIRE! As your fingers dive deep inside of me, I let out a scream as a stream of liquid runs down my thighs.

As I catch my breath, it hits me that you are still dressed. (Lol). I pull you close and start to unbutton your shirt. I fumble over the buttons. Removing your pants goes much better. As I yank down your underwear, I drop to my knees. You look so good that I could swallow you whole, so I do!

I wrap the palm of my hand around the base of your cock. I slide my hand up and down. I stop and look around. Hmmm, “Let’s try this with some lube.” I spy it over by my bag and reach down to grab it. I apply some to my hands and resume stroking you. Your sighs and moans tell me that it was a great move. I lick your tip – first with short flicks. I pick up the speed and change to a circling motion. As I open my mouth wide, I listen to your sighs and moans. I thrust myself down further and further on your hardness. Your cock is hitting the back of my throat over and over and over. I gag but I can’t stop! I look up to see you looking down at me. You can’t see it, but my eyes are glazed. I am experiencing an endorphin rush.

You pull me up, turn me over and take me from behind. With my body “floating,” I feel your cock in a way that I have never experienced before. For whatever reason, each thrust is causing me to squirt. As you give it to me hard and deep, my juices run down my thighs as I soak your cock and the couch.

You look around at the items from my toy bag strewn around the living room. You can’t seem to find what you are looking for. “Where is the pink dildo you used when we cammed?” I hand it to you as you position me on the sofa (lying on my back, knees bent and with my legs spread open). You sit down next to me and wrap your arm around my shoulders. You lay your head on my breasts.

You slide the dildo up and down my oh so VERY WET slit. Of course, I moan with delight. You push the dildo between my glistening cunt lips. Slowly, you thrust the dildo straight into my pussy. I sigh softly. You pick up the pace fucking me with the toy. My sighs turn to moans. You’re enjoying my reaction. Without warning, you pound my cunt – my moans turn to screams of joy as an intense orgasm rips through me!...........I soak the dildo, your hand and my thighs.

Before I can fully recover, you begin to tease me again with the toy. You circle it around my vulva…over one fleshy lip to my clit and back to the other lip - around and around and around. I begin to slip back into “the zone.” You push the dildo into me angling it upwards. It makes direct contact with my G-spot. You continue moving it in a circling motion all about my vaginal wall. My deep, primal moans tell you that I am loving it. You decide to pick up the pace to see what happens – my back arches and I let out a loud moan as my body shakes and spasms and spasms and spasms and spasms and spasms and… I collapse on your sofa and I am not going anywhere anytime soon! You slide your arm about my shoulder and pull me close.

While I am in this catatonic state, you decide to perform a little G-spot “massage.” Using strokes of varying pressures, you work to ease out bends, knots and tension spots. In this most sensitive area of my body, your movements are calculated and precise. Some how you manage, not only to excite my sensual feel, but revitalize it!

My body feels light (as if I am floating) as you indulge me. As you continue bringing me to orgasm after orgasm, I cry out and scream. Your sofa becomes wetter and wetter and wetter…After two hours, I beg you to stop! (That is a first for me.) Although I still have fluid left in me to cum, my supporting muscles have thrown in the towel.

We lay there in state of oblivion. I want so much to, at least, return a little bit of the pleasure that you have just given me. You stand up and look down on me. I smile coyly in anticipation. As you straddle my face, I open my mouth wide to finish what I started two hours earlier.

You enter my mouth. Just the feeling of your cock sliding over my lips makes my clit throb. As your cock slides over my lips, my tongue swirls around your head flicking the top with each lap. I leave your head for a moment and trace my tongue up and down your length. I close my lips around you sideways, moving up and down slowly, letting my tongue create pressure points on your shaft.

I open my mouth and you begin to fuck my mouth with short, quick thrusts. I hold my mouth taut. Doing so gives you control - to use my mouth as you please. I feel your cock dive deeper and deeper into my mouth. “Ahhhh, such a tantalizing feeling.” I swallow hard to take every inch of you.

You feel me fight the gag reflex as I slowly relax my mouth to let you slide to the back of my mouth and down my throat. To meet your thrusts, I start to bob my head, letting your throat fuck me until I am able to wrap my lips around the base of your dick.

To give you more pleasure and control, I extend my neck and feel the full force of your cock fuck my throat. Your balls smash against my chin as you pound my mouth. I feel my juices flow and my pussy quiver. “God, I want to feel you cum…I want to feel the blast of your orgasm as you shoot your seed down my throat…oh, baby feed me your load.” I feel your powerful release fill my throat as I slip from reality.

As I open my eyes, I see what contentment really looks like
Posted:Jul 14, 2010 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2013 6:46 pm

After an intense sexual liaison, we take a break to “enjoy the moment.” You slip on your workout shorts (how appropriate…lol) and head to the kitchen to pour a refill. We enjoy a glass of Pinot Grigio and relax on the sofa. As we watch The O’Reiley Factor, my hands begin to massage your leg. Starting at the top, moving slowly down your left thigh (mmm)…to the knee…to the calf. Then back up your calf…to the knee…to the top of your thigh. Your body relaxes as my hand moves down your leg and tenses up as it moves up… My hand begins to wander around exploring the “terrain.” I am pleasantly surprised to find you are already hard again. I massage you with the palm of my hand. Your cock stiffens as I move around and around and around and . . . Your moans tell me that there will be even more pleasure in both our futures

You lower your shorts so your cock is exposed. I take a moment to admire the view You then remove them. Mmm mmm mmm, I now have full access! I lick my palms (I forgot the lube) and begin to rub your tip with my index finger. As I work your cock, you reach down and fondle my breasts. You cup one (you literally have your hand full…lol) and give it a firm squeeze. You fingers move to my nipple and you pull it out from my body. I moan as you gently twist it. I tighten my grip and slide my hand up and down your shaft. I lick my lips – I want to taste you!

I move closer to you and extend my tongue to lick your tip. As I run my tongue between your slit, I glance up to see you looking down at me. The look on your face is one of sheer pleasure! You return the favor by reaching down and twisting my nipple. The hot sensation raises my level of excitement even higher! I follow up with wide licks with my tongue. I draw my mouth tightly around you and move my mouth up and down your shaft. I feel you tense up.

What happens next blows me away! You grab my hair (oh yes) and thrust my head down on your cock. Not a small push, but a full force thrust. The feeling is exquisite! Not anticipating the move, I am only able to keep your cock down my throat for a moment before I gag. You relax your hand, allowing the air to return to my lungs.

Your cock remains in my mouth. My head is spinning and my body is ablaze with lust. Your hands again grasp my hair and you push my mouth down on your hard cock. As you hold me down, I begin to feel as though I am floating - WOW, what an endorphin rush! I take all of you, focusing on trying not to gag. As if there is not enough going on, my body begins to shake as an orgasm overwhelms me. I gag again and you release your control.

My body is shaking and my mind is numb – I try to process my physical and emotional reactions. WOW! Seeing your cock throbbing before me, I must go back for more.

Keeping my mouth taut, I bob up and down on you. We are at fever pitch – faces flushed with excitement, bodies trembling. Suddenly, you grab my hair forcing your cock to go even deeper into my throat. As I feel the force of your explosion, you cry out that you are cumming! As you fill my throat with your hot load, I shake and quiver as an intense orgasm rips through my body! You release your hold on me and lay back on the sofa. You scream again and again with pleasure!

For the next few minutes, we both lay there – surprised, astonished, stunned, amazed, flabbergasted. I am still shaking. You look at me and I look at you and we both utter a single word – WOW!
How do you respond when someone asks,
Posted:May 17, 2010 8:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2010 6:57 pm

Earlier this evening, I was chatting with a fellow member. After exchanging a few pleasantries, he threw out the infamous question, Tell me about yourself?

Working in Human Resources, I tried to frame my answer in the context of the environment: 1) why I am on the site, I used to work too much and went to school part-time (program was held at my work site) so I was spending too much time with coworkers – work hours (8 a.m. – 5 or 6 or 7 p.m.) and class time (5 – 8:30 p.m.) and I don’t “socialize” with coworkers (Bottom line is I don’t mix business and pleasure.) and 2) what I am looking for here.

Before I had the opportunity to type anything else. I received a response back something to the effect of, that sounded really bad and he left the chat room.

So I evidently “missed the boat” on my response.

So Folks when you ask a person the question, Tell me about yourself, what are you really asking and what are you expecting the hear?
Today....I wish
Posted:Dec 24, 2009 7:05 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2010 11:09 pm

Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles-
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the feeling that you are being watch by a higher being, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time!

Merry Christmas

Halloween Drink Ideas
Posted:Oct 9, 2009 7:07 pm
Last Updated:Dec 25, 2009 6:13 pm
This is a repost from 2007...Hope you enjoy!

Happy Halloween-y! (I borrowed that from mikeandann.4fun)

Every Halloween shindig deserves some special martini mixes that will delight all of your ghoulish guest and goblins.

Dim the lights, and pull up a chair...What was that creaking sound? Ahhh, it was only gentle cracking of ice....mwwwaaahhhh ha ha ha!

The Vampire Chaser Martini

The Vampire Chaser Martini uses Vampyre Vodka (triple distilled Vodka made in England). It has a super smooth taste, and best of all it's blood red in color. Generally available in better liquor store.

* 8 ounces of freezing Vampyre vodka
* 2 Turkish Pepper stuffed olives
* 1 tablespoon of olive brine from your pepper stuffed olives
* 2 rubber eyeballs (available at toy stores)
* 1 tablespoon of freshly squeezed lemon juice
* 1 copy (on vinyl preferably) of the original song Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett

The Mix
* Pour the Vampyre vodka into a shaker half full of cracked ice
* Add the olive brine
* Shake, shake, shake to the Monster Mash groove
* Strain your blood red martini cocktail into 2 freezing martini glasses
* Top each glass with half a tablespoon of lemon juice
* Into each drink add a pepper stuffed olive and, my favorite part, one rubber eyeball

Ouija-Tini Martini

The Oija-tini Martini features Blavod black vodka. Enjoy this crazy cocktail, and you just might be predicting the future--in fact, we'll predict that you'll be dying for another.

* 9 ounces of freezing Blavod black vodka
* 2 ounces chilled Blue Curacao
* 1 ounce chilled Score banana vodka
* 2 small gummy worms (refrigerator chilled)
* 1 copy of the Vincent Price move The Tingler

The Mix
* Pour the Blavod black vodka into a shaker half full of cracked ice
* Shake for a half a minute
* Add the Blue Curacao and continue to shake for another half minute
* Strain your cocktail into 2 freezing martini glasses
* Into each glass pour a half ounce of the Score banana vodka
* Stir each glass with its own chilled gummy worm
* Dim the lights, start the movie...sip and get ready to scream!

Posted:Mar 18, 2009 8:57 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2009 1:57 pm
Just reminiscing a bit This song takes me to another place and time in my life. It was a happy time and my life was much more simple.


It's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

It gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me

It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Firsts for Both of Us
Posted:Mar 6, 2009 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2010 5:22 pm

I hadn’t heard from you in a few days and I was physically and emotionally missing you. Life can be so crazy at times. I’ve learned to reach for the “brass ring” whenever the opportunity presents itself. So when you contact me mid afternoon to see if I am free this evening, I jump at the chance to see you! When I want something, the words,Hard to Get, are NOT in my vocabulary!

I walk in and slip off my coat and shoes. As I put it down, you come up behind me and begin to massage my shoulders. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. I haven’t been with you 30 seconds and I am already moaning! I grasp the back of your dining room chair and arch my back as your hands firmly move down my spine. When you step closer and kiss my neck, I feel my knees go weak ‒ you Sir have a magical touch! You promise me a full body massage a little later

You pull me close wrapping your arms around my waist as I lean back against you. Our bodies so close together is driving me wild! I WANT YOU!!!!! My hands slide from your thighs to your backside. I pull you tight against me I lay my head back on your shoulder. Your hands move up to massage my breasts ‒ Oh, I’m in heaven! I raise my sweater and pull down the cups to provide you with full access to my heaving breasts and rock hard nipples. As our lips meet; our hands take great joy in giving to the other.

Slowing the pace, I head towards the couch as you go to kitchen and retrieve a couple of glasses of wine. You join me and we enjoy our beverage chatting a bit about the day’s activities. I look into your eyes and am overwhelmed with the desire to kiss you! As you move towards me I realize the desire is mutual. I tickle your lips with my tongue and you pull my tongue into your mouth and hold tight. The sensation is awesome! Our lips meet and our tongues play as our bodies meld together.

We take a little breather and you fetch me another glass of wine. You return and hand me the glass. I take a sip and sit the glass down. I look up and you are still standing in front of me with a smile on your face. As you bend down to kiss me, you position your body over mine. As we continue kissing, you straddle me so that our bodies resume intimate contact. The combination of the wine, your kiss and the power of your body has an intoxicating effect on me. Your hands move from my shoulders to my breasts. As you squeeze my breasts, I thrust my lower body against your hardness. I moan softly as I feel myself an accumulation of moisture between my thighs. You stand up and offer me your hand. We quickly move upstairs

We undress each other and you tell me to lie down and relax. You return with a bottle of massage lotion and an armful of towels. I feel myself turning red as I giggle. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to sleep in a wet bed again…lol.

You begin the massage by rubbing your hands together to warm the lotion and start to massage my shoulders using a kneading motion. Ahhhhhh, this feels SO wonderful!

Next, you move down to the base of my spine. You apply pressure and glide your hands on the muscle running up the right side of my spine until you reach my neck. Then, you move out over my shoulders and ease the pressure off as you glide back down to my waist, the original starting point. You perform this movement on my left side. I am like a rag doll! In my bliss, I ask you to marry me and giggle.

Using the heel of your hand on my muscle running down the right side of my spine, you kneed in circles easing my muscles away. You stop at my shoulder blade. Using your thumbs and fingers, you massage the muscles just above my shoulder blades and those in between them. The air is filled with the sounds of my contentment.”AAAAHHHHHHH.” I am lost in a sea of relaxation. You nuzzle my neck and begin to kiss down the side. Mmmmmm, what a nice way to be brought back to reality.

You turn your attention back to my lower body. You work down my backside ‒ from my buttocks to my feet. It all feels so WONDERFUL! When you’re done with my feet, you have me turn over. Laying flat on my back, my legs immediately spread open. I look at you and smile. You know what I want!

You lubricate your hands and begin to stroke my labia. I spread my legs open even wider and your fingers move deeper as you massage my clit. My back arches and I thrust myself hard against your hand as I shriek that I am cumming! I look at you through glazed eyes as you begin to finger my drenched hole. You insert two, then three fingers and fuck me deep. My body writhes about in a state of ecstasy. The fullness that I’m feeling has me so turned on that I think I’m going to pass out! Then without warning, my body begins to shake uncontrollably as I experience a string of orgasms.

And the intensity subsides, I lay flat on my back and you mount me. As you penetrate me, I again enjoy the sensation of fullness. As you begin thrusting, I move my legs so that my feet are up over your shoulders. This allows you to penetrate me VERY deeply. You look at me and make a comment about my flexibility. I giggle as I tell you that I’m very bendy. Your speed increases and our bodies pound together. I become lost in our fucking frenzy and moan again and again that I’m cumming (Mental note ‒ remember to bring water!)

You pull out and move so that your cock is positioned in front of me. I open wide longing to feel you take control of my mouth. You slide your cock in and out and then move so it is out of my reach. You’re such a tease! I look at you with begging eyes and you move close enough so that I can lick the head and run my tongue across you slit. When your cock is good and wet, I squeeze my breasts together and slide them up and down your cock. I love the way this feels and how hard this type of fucking is making you! I look up at you and coyly suggest that maybe you’d like to cum on them. The twitch in your cock and the look in your eyes tell me YES!

You stand over me with your hands on the headboard. With well lubricated hands, I begin playing with your cock. I try all different types of maneuvers ‒ using both of my palms to rub you, stroking you from the bottom all the way to the top and when I reach the top, releasing and starting all over with the other hand, massaging the head with the palm of my hand, making a ring with my thumb and forefinger and pumping up and down and when I get to the top closing the ring. I confess that one of my fantasies is having my partner showing me how he likes to be pleasured and then instructing me on how to do to bring him to orgasm. Your leg starts quaking and you grab on to the headboard for support. I feel you VERY hard member twitch. I raise my body up and feel myself twitch as I experience the HOT sensation of you shooting a load of cum all over my breasts and stomach. Watching is such a turn on for me! You seem to cum and cum and cum!

Noticing your legs still shaking, I help you carefully lay down ‒ I think the experience was just a little intense Using my fingers, I wipe a bit of your cum off my breast. I move my hand to my mouth and lick my fingers off. You are delicious!

I look over at you and you reach out and pull me close. I smile and laugh to myself. “Geez, he just covered me with a really big load and I’ve never wanted him more than I do right now.” We rest a bit. I stroke you body with my hand ‒ I just love to touch! You give me a hug and I’m thinking that the night must come to an end. But you surprise me

My stroking has had a positive effect on you and you are again hard! Wow ‒ amazing recover time! I move down and being to lick the tip of your cock. You instruct me to flick my tongue across the slit. I wag my tongue over the top and through the slit several times. You stiffen and I get a taste of pre-cum.

Next, you tell me to swirl my tongue over the head. You become harder as I lick and lick. Mmmmm ‒ this is going to me fun!
You have me move my mouth up and down on your firm member. You guide me pushing me down further and further. You tell me to make it tight and I do. As I suck you, I feel a pulsing between my thighs. You thrust to meet me and I repeatedly experience the sensation of you deep in my throat. This is so hot!

I lubricate my hands again and take hold of you. You have me perform several movements until you figure out the sequence that will take you over the top. You instruct me on how to pleasure you - massage the glans head ‒ stroking in one direction then reversing the direction; pull the skin of your penis toward the base with one hand and with my other hand, corkscrew it; stroke the entire length from time to bottom; grasp the top of the penis and then stroke it from the top all the way to the bottom, letting it "penetrate" into my fist on each stroke. Before the head pops out of my clinched hand, I bring the other hand up for the next penetration.

I begin to work you. I start out slow and increase the pace. I feel you grow while I continue my task. Your feedback is very motivating ‒ That’s it Baby. Oh, yeah that feels good. Keep working me ‒ massage, stroke, squeeze. Now faster, faster ‒ ahhh, I’m going to cummmmmmmm!!!!!!

As another orgasm rips through your body, you shoot another beautiful load of cum! I take the opportunity to gently lick some of your VERY sensitive head.

We lay back in each others arms. WOW ‒ what a night! AMAZING! It’s been a long day and it’s time to get some sleep. Sweet dreams!
Why Music Triggers a Walk Down Memory Lane
Posted:Feb 28, 2009 9:53 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2009 8:32 pm

"Give me the beat boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away.

Words are the pen of the heart, but music is the pen of the soul."

"Ain't it funny how a melody brings back memories/takes you to another place and time/completely changes your state of mind."

Memory is a mental system that receives, stores, organized, alters and recovers information from sensory input. Research has shown memory to be affected by many factors. One of these factors is music.

Music has an amazing power to influence memory, emotions and behavior. It has been found to affect and stimulate many different parts of the brain and body. Studies have found that music can reduce stress, aid relaxation, alleviate depression, and help store and recall information among other functions. It’s even been stated that "music has the charms to soothe the savage beast".

But why is that? Why do our brains react so powerfully to music? How do we process it and what purpose does it serve?

When you hear a piece of music, the ear converts the sound waves into vibrations in specific parts of the inner and middle ear. These vibrations are then translated into action potentials that travel through the eighth cranial nerve to the brain stem, the thalamus, and the auditory cortex. It seems that the brain takes a song and translates it into its own "neuro symphony" sending electrical impulses to various parts of your brain. These varying patterns of impulses generate thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

It's almost as though we store various different patterns of these impulses in our brains and when the same pattern of sounds matches a pattern of impulses, it triggers a set of images.
Music stimulates and utilizes most parts of the brain. Both the right and left hemispheres are involved because while one codifies lyrics the other tackles melody. Because the brain does not have a specific “musical center,” it uses parts of the brain normally utilized in other types of thinking. It makes sense then that music has the ability to generate emotions and memories because it actually stirs these sections of the brain.

Because music is not visual or tangible, our brains can not use those senses to interpret it. Perhaps that is the reason the music draws on so many aspects of the brain to be heard and understood. The mechanisms of the ear and the auditory cortex bring music into the brain but it is a combination of many brain functions that help us to fully understand it. Along with the pleasure of sound we get memories, images, and thoughts. We enjoy music so much because it stimulates and exercises the entire brain.

The memories and emotions that people associate with familiar songs can be traced to the medial prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain where the wiring for memories and thoughts about music appears to be linked. What appears to happen is that a piece of familiar music serves as a “soundtrack” for a mental movie that starts playing in our head. It calls back memories of a particular person or place, and you might all of a sudden see that person's face in your mind's eye.

The interesting thing is that the same set of frequencies or pattern of impulses generates different images for different people. We all have distinct visions of the same pattern of sounds. Neurobiologists have yet to figure out exactly how this comes about.

Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Lights brings a smile to my face. Yes, for the obvious reason! Picture this…Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana ‒ the year is 1979 ‒ and I’m a young co-ed. I think you get the idea

Do you have any particular songs that evoke a memory that you care to share?

Have an awesome day!
The All-American Male
Posted:Feb 18, 2009 8:52 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2010 7:23 pm

It started out so innocently. Hello! I came across your FriendFinder-x profile today and thought that we might have a lot in common and enjoy each others company. It would be great to start a conversation if you feel the same way…It would be great to hear back from you if you are interested.

A friendly, well-written email ‒ not something I receive everyday on FriendFinder-x…lol. I’m intrigued, so I clicked on the profile.

good listener, caring and passionate…knows how to treat a woman with respect. I find women with self confidence and ambition in life most attractive. An individual who is passionate about life with an adventurous spirit would be ideal. Hey, I think to myself, he’s means me! Look no further Sir. I’m captivated! Then, I viewed the attached pics

OMG, I think as I wiped the drool off of my chin, HOT HOT HOT! Right there before my very eyes is the “All American Male.” I am in a state of lust like I haven’t been for a long time.

As we exchange the perfunctory emails required by FriendFinder-x (btw those emails are really necessary ‒ it’s how I became akawarmwetone … lol), I am finding a very intelligent and sexy person who seems to be on a journey of discovery. Often being in search of the “holy grail,” I feel a connection to him and long to “guide” him on his journey.

And so it begins…………

Our first chat is SO different and exciting that it leaves me in awe! We talk about work, sexuality, emotions and life. Working for an organization of 80,000 employees, I describe some of the trials and tribulations of working for such a large employer. When he tosses out the term, organized anarchy, it’s the perfect description - concise but all encompassing.

When the conversation becomes more intimate, he comments that he likes that I am expressive and free about my sexuality. I think that is so healthy… pretty evolved and comfortable in your own skin...not many people make it!

My tag line on FriendFinder-x is "It's not the years in your life, but the life in your years" (Abraham Lincoln) and he agrees that is a great philosophy. When he comments that it was refreshing to find someone who can carry on an intelligent conversation...and thanks me, I am awestruck. We are off to a great start!

Our chats continue and they just keep getting better…I’m mesmerized!

Fast forward to our first meeting...

As I drive to your home, I’m so excite, eager and anxious all at the same time! We will finally meet!

I think about all we’ve chatted about over the last week Arriving at your home, I park my vehicle. As I approach your front door, I take a deep breathe as I start to reach for the door bell. Before I press it, the door opens and there you are ‒ more handsome than your pictures! I think, I could be in serious trouble!

You graciously invite me in and offer to take my coat. You are such a gentleman! I make a corny joke about taking my coat but not taking it far. As you put up my coat, I sit down on your couch. I proceed to make myself at home ‒ I slip off my shoes and sit at an angle so I can face you. I’m nervous and can’t figure out why I am. I engage in some slow deep breathing and take a moment to enjoy the music you have playing softly in the background.

You arrive back at the couch with two glasses of wine in hand. I take my glass as you sit down beside me. As you move closer to me, I feel my heart race. I think, Is it the wine or is my body having a chemical reaction to him. We chat although my brain is not registering a whole lot of the conversation. There we are ‒ looking into each others eyes ‒ our lips meet as we engage in one long passionate kiss. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Moving closer together, our bodies touch and our hands are wandering all over each other. Although it’s not cold in the room (the fireplace is aglow), I feel goose bumps rise on my arms. I realize that my body is reacting to you! My juices begin to flow. This is start to a wonderful, passionate night!

You asked if I’d like to go upstairs and get comfortable. I hear my words, “Sure,” as I restrain myself to keep myself from running to the stairs

We arrive in your bedroom and you pull me close to you and wrap your arms around me. I feel myself melting in your arms. As we kiss, our lips and tongues dance ‒ you’re a fabulous kisser! You playfully bite my lower lip which produces of cry of pleasure! You take this opportunity to undress me. In a flash, off goes my camisole, pants and undies. I stand naked before you. I reach for your sweater, undo your belt and pants and almost as quickly you are nearly in the same state.

You gently guide me to the bed. As I lay back, your mouth moves to my rock hard nipples. As you suck each one, I become very excited - I giggle as I feel myself squirting!

Your hand slides down as I spread my thighs open to expose a very wet pussy. Your hand teases my lips drawing a circle around their outer edge. You spread my lips open and begin to play with my clit. You comment that you’re amazed that it’s so hard! You stroke, massage, pinch and pull it! OMG! As you play with it, I begin to squirt and squirt and squirt. Oops ‒ maybe I should have suggested that you bring a towel to bed! You move down between my legs and begin to lick and suck me. You expertly work my clit with your tongue, mouth and fingers. I’m in heaven! The thought of your FriendFinder-x purity score of 71 keeps running through my mind ‒ I must be an excellent teacher…lol. You have so much untapped talent!

You continue to pleasure me and I continue to cum and cum and cum! To give me a break, you move up to kiss me and I lick your lips, cheeks and chin. The taste is one I so enjoy! Our mouths and tongues then engage in sensual and sexy dance.

You move your hands back down between my legs and begin playing with my exposed clit. You stroke, rub, pinch and pull it and my orgasms resume. You slide a finger deep in my soaking wet hole and begin finger-fucking my aching cunt. As you finger penetrates me, I feel you curl upwards as you quickly find my g-spot. The move takes me into “sub space.” You look at me and see the glazed look in my eyes. The smile on your face tells me we are both in a good place!

I experience orgasm after orgasm ‒ oh the joys of being multi-orgasmic I LOVE IT! I moan and cry out as you take control of my body. Your arm is wrapped around me, as you massage my g-spot. You increase your pace and I moan loudly. In my orgasmic-induced state, I whisper that I feel like screaming. You words encourage me to let it go, release it and I scream out in sheer delight!

My hand moves to stroke your body and eventually my hand finds its way to your beautiful manhood. I look down and see your beautiful cock and know that I have to “experience” you.

I move myself down and go to work. I lick your tip, lick from the base to the tip, and lick your balls. I attempt to draw my mouth tightly around you, but because of your size I am having a time of it. I am getting lost in the effect that your hardening dick is having on me. I could spend hours pleasuring it. You take my head in your hands and increase my pace. Your cock is diving down into my throat. I gag a bit but don’t make any effort to stop as I want so much to taste you. I feel you tensing inside of my mouth. As your moans reach a thunderous pitch, I feel your cum fill my mouth. As you fill my mouth, a tremor reaching from nipples to my clit shakes my body.

We lay there for a moment ‒ both on an endorphin high. Feeling the wet sheets below us, you retreat to the bath to retrieve a towel. You pull me close and hold me tight. Our mouths find each other again. And then we rest.

After a bit of chat, you hand returns to my drenched slit. As your fingers move inside my aching pussy, I feel myself tighten around them. You finger me-fuck again and rub my clit with your thumb. My senses are so heighten and I’m feeling like I could suck your entire hand into my wanting cunt. My body can’t contain itself ‒ I cry out again and again and my back arches as I thrust myself against your hand. As my orgasm subsides, I whimper as you withdraw your fingers already missing the feeling of them inside of me.

We wrap our arms around each other and hold on tight. Our lips again meet ‒ our tongues tickling each other, our mouths sucking each others lips and tongues. I lay my head on your shoulder and begin to stroke your body ‒ chest, arms, stomach, thighs ‒ you feel so good to me. I look down to see you are hard again and decide to take a little ride.

I spread my legs and roll on top of you. I place your cock against the opening to my warm wetness and work to thrust against you. I feel you penetrate me. To let you know that I want you, I squeeze you. I see the looking on your face and begin to gently move up and down on you. I giggle telling you that this isn’t my best position (are you up for helping me get over my awkwardness? Lol). I am lying against your chest as we kiss a bit. I then raise my body up to see what the effect is. The look on your face tells me it’s a good one. Our bodies thrust against each other and you pull me down to kiss you again. I slide off of your body and you guide my mouth down to your hardness. With your hands again on my head and one thrust, I take all of you and again gag. Your moans become louder and louder. It doesn’t stop me as you continue to fuck my mouth. I feel your balls against my chin as I go deeper and deeper on it. Your cock becomes so hard in my mouth! I feel it again tense and hear your cries of pleasure as a warm splash of your seed fills my mouth. As I again orgasm, my cum expels from my excited pussy. When the intensely subsides, I lick your cock clean enjoying the taste.

You pull me close and hold me tight. The look on your handsome face is one of ecstasy and exhaustion. As you hold me in your arms, you close your eyes and I watch as you fall into a peaceful slumber. You are awesome! WOW is the word for the night! I join you shortly.

We wake up a little bit later. I tell you honestly that I don’t want to let you go and you squeeze me tighter

Watch for my next installment in this (hopefully) long running series, Something New for Both of Us!

“You already won me over in spite of me. Don’t be surprised if fall, head over feet…”
1 comment
Everyday Edible Aphrodisiacs: Can a trip to the supermarket really put you in the mood for romance?
Posted:Feb 13, 2009 10:36 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 9:20 am

For thousands of years, people have been using so-called aphrodisiacs – herbs, spices, fruits, vegetables, insects, animal organs, and so on – to enhance their love lives. So how effective are these stimulants at increasing sexual desire, drive, and performance? According to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), not very effective at all. In fact, in 1989 the FDA asserted that there was no scientific evidence that aphrodisiacs have any effect on libido whatsoever. But what does the FDA know…lol. Still, many people claim that certain foods put them in the mood. Here's a list of legendary, edible "aphrodisiacs" that are safe (and healthy!) for you and your partner to enjoy. So give them a try – it can't hurt!

Red Wine
No romantic dinner is complete without a good bottle of wine. A properly paired wine will enhance the taste of your food and, hopefully, get the two of you in the mood for love, since moderate amounts of alcohol can lower people's inhibitions and help them relax. An extra bonus: Drinking a small amount of wine (especially red wine) daily may increase your HDL, or good, cholesterol and reduce your risk of blood clots. Red wine, in particular, also contains powerful antioxidants. Cheers to that!

These delicious summer berries are considered erotic because of their likeness to nipples. They're also a rich source of vitamin C, fiber, and water. Eat them on their own, or add them to your favorite salad, smoothie, or dessert. If you want to multiply the berries' "aphrodisiac" powers, dip them in warm chocolate and feed them to your lover!


They don't call it a "honeymoon" for nothing! Ancient customs encouraged newlyweds to drink mead, a fermented drink made with honey, to increase fertility and add sweetness to the marriage. But you don't need mead to sweeten your relationship – enjoy honey on its own, dissolved in tea, or in place of sugar. Honey is also known for its cancer-fighting antioxidants and wound-healing powers, though the most erotic thing you can do is drizzle it on your lover and lick it off. Anyone for a glass of Bloomington, Indiana’s very own Oliver Winery Camelot Mead (made from orange blossom honey fermented to near dryness in stainless steel tanks. Clean and fresh with delightful floral and honey aromas and flavors. Delicately sweet, with a nice balance.)

Full of disease-fighting antioxidants, chocolate is now considered a super food with potential health benefits. But through the ages, it's been linked to love and romance thanks to its effect on neurotransmitters and endorphins (the "feel good" chemicals) in the brain. When indulging, try to choose dark chocolate with at least 60 percent cacao – the more cacao the better, since this is probably the source of chocolate's health benefits. Don't overdo it, though, because this sweet treat is still high in calories!

Chili Peppers
If you like it hot in the bedroom, then chili peppers might be your best bet for heating things up. Chilies contain capsaicin, a compound that makes the peppers spicy. Capsaicin will also raise your heartbeat, cause you to perspire, and release endorphins that may trigger feelings similar to those experienced during sexual arousal. Chili peppers are good for you too – they contain antioxidants, flavonoids, and double the amount of vitamin C found in citrus fruits.

A Healthy Diet
Many experts attribute the mythical properties of aphrodisiacs to the power of suggestion. In other words, if you believe a certain thing will turn you on, it probably will. And it isn't just foods that can put you in the mood – according to researchers at the Chicago-based Smell and Taste Foundation, studies reveal that certain smells can also be sexually arousing. They cite as examples lavender, pumpkin pie, and licorice. Ultimately, though, the best aphrodisiac is a healthy diet combined with regular exercise. Eating healthfully and staying in shape will keep your body – and your libido – in top form.

For other sexy food and spice ideas, visit Food Not Just For Survival Anymore.

To learn all about flowers that you're giving your sweetie for Valentine's Day, visit Happy Valentine.

Happy Valentine’s Day! (and happy birthday to me)…I’m not getting older, I’m getting better!
1 comment
Posted:Jan 26, 2009 4:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2013 6:45 pm

My last few blogs have involved a topic that is near and dear to my heart (D/s)...lol. I have been doing some "soul searching." On a positive note, I'm looking to the future


As I pack my bags, I make sure that I have a few special toys I am looking forward to a night of ecstasy with you. Our recent dinner date has not only ignited my desire for you but intensified it. I long to feel your lips pressed to mine, to feel our tongues touch, to feel our bodies ignite. As the designated time approaches, I begin to fantasize about the night ahead. . .

You walk into the suite but do not immediately see me. The rooms are lit by the glow of candlelight. You survey the living room. The couch is lined with oversized pillows. You imagine me laying there with my legs spread apart lightly stroking my glistening pussy. You see that a blanket placed on the floor close enough to get a good view of the television, but far enough away so it isn't distracting. The candle light gives the room a warm and inviting feeling. . .

As you move towards the bedroom, you hear music playing softly. You enter the room to see me laying on the bed with my legs spread wide apart. I am dressed in a leopard bra and matching crotchless panties. You can see the wetness glistening between my legs. I stroke my pussy and tell you that I have been thinking about you. I notice a bulge in your pants. I motion for you to come to me. As you approach me, I stand to undress you. I remove your clothing piece by piece. I linger as I unzip your pants and watch as your manhood spring from its confinement. As I remove your undies, I stare at your growing cock as precum oozes from your slit. I instruct you to sit down beside me and enjoy the show

I take a nearby vibrator and gently slide it into my drenched pussy. I slowly work myself with it savoring the feeling. I begin to fuck myself with it to the beat of the music. With each thrust, I moan louder and louder. As I withdraw the vibrator, I pull it almost totally out of my pussy so you can see how excited I am that you are enjoying my show. The vibrator glistens with my juices. With my free hand, I massage my clit. I tell you that I am spinning as I work myself faster and faster. My clit is on fire. I tell you that I want to cum...I need to cum... I MUST CUM AND SOON! At this point, my hips are thrusting to feel the full penetration of the vibrator. A few seconds later, I let out a soft moan as an orgasm explodes in my pussy. . . .

I lay there for a while with my eyes closed. When I open my eyes, I see you looking at me and smiling. I ask you if you enjoyed the show. You pull me close to you as our lips embrace and our tongues mingle as I hope that this moment never ends

As time passes, I gently roll you on to your stomach. I begin to massage your shoulders and neck. I work down each arm carefully. I work down your back massaging every inch of your back and shoulders. I listen to your sounds of pleasure as I massage down lower and lower . . . over your cheeks and down each leg. I loosely tie each of your ankles to the bedposts. I giggle as I watch you try to undo what I've done. I tell you that it's no use and encourage you to enjoy what's about to cum

I instruct you to get on all fours. As you lift your body up, I move my mouth down to your cock. As I lay on my back under you, I grab your ass cheeks and pull your body to me. I begin to lick you from end to end. I swirl my tongue all over your cock to your ass paying particular attention to your sensitive parts. You whisper to me the sensations that you are feeling. I take my time licking and sucking you. I pay special attention to the area between your cock and your ass

You balls become sooo full of your hot cum. I keep teasing you - not enough to make your explode just enough to make you feel that way. I continue to work you for 10, 15, 20, 25 minutes...Finally, I let you cum As you shoot your load, you cover my face and neck with your hot liquid. I wipe my face and raise my fingers to my mouth and suck them clean savoring every last drop. I remove the ties and pull you close to me

We both lay there in silence holding each other tightly anticipating what the night will bring...
1 comment
Finding a Dominant: The Acid Test
Posted:Jan 26, 2009 4:01 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2009 6:02 pm

The term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. However, gold will stand up to most acids. So the ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool's’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake dominants. Passing all the tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON.

Step One: Do the Math

Various estimates and surveys have placed the ratio of true (i.e., natural) male sexual Dominants to female sexual submissives at about one to ten. However, a quick count in any given D/s oriented chat room would lead you to believe that male Doms outnumber the subs at about two to one. Now if there is actually only one male Dom for every ten female subs that means that 19 out of the 20 "Doms" you see online are fakes. Statistically, there is a 95% chance that any man you talk to online claiming to be a Dom is no such thing. This leads us to the first rule, a rule that all statisticians and scientists already know by heart: "When in doubt, throw it out!"

As is the case of any relationship, a search for a suitable Dominant partner could easily take years. So don't be disheartened by all these drastic ratios. BUT DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME either. If any of the prospects you are chatting with online makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason, drop him. Don’t give him ‘three strikes’ or ‘extra chances to win.’ Block out his screen-name and move on. There was only a one in twenty chance he was legitimate anyway. Trust your instincts!

Step Two: Know The Enemy

Call them Snerts, call them HNG’s (Horny Net Geeks), call them Wannabes or call them Control Freaks. They are the ENEMY. And sometimes, tragically, we even find some that can only be called predators. Don’t think they are anything less. Sexual Dominance and submission is not for amateurs - PERIOD! Even if he turns out to be a more or less nice guy, if he’s not a Dom, he’s not going to give you what you seek, and he will likely give you many things you don’t (like medical bills and other assorted headaches).

The Snert

Snerts are basically looking for easy sex. They are counting on the (highly inaccurate) assumption that sexual submissives are simply ‘easy lays.’ Nothing could be farther from the truth, but that doesn’t deter them at all. They are typically middle aged to somewhat older men. They are often married. They are usually trying to bolster their flagging vanilla sex lives with some casual screwing around. They target submissives because they think that they won't make demands on there sexual prowess (another bad assumption). They can be easily spotted because they almost always demand or at least emphasize sexual intercourse being a part of their ‘scenes.’

The HNG (Horny Net Geek)

HNG’s are usually the most harmless but yet often the most annoying. Most are younger men looking for some quick cyber-sex or even phone-sex. They are usually pretty sophisticated about there D/s jargon and the ‘scenes’ they describe to you can be pretty elaborate. Geeks do their homework. They scour the porno sites for ideas, and hang out in D/s chats for hours on end learning the ‘lingo.’ They are most easily spotted because they want to move on to cyber-sex and phone sex very quickly. They like to offer online collars, and spend hours on end in chat rooms ‘playing’ with their ‘subbies.’ Don’t waste your time with them.

Control Freaks

The second most dangerous type of enemy is the Control Freak. Control freaks are what most psychologists and therapists call ‘controlling personalities.’ They are the type of person that wants to be in control of everything around them. They want all their family and friends to behave exactly as they say. They are extremely manipulative people. These men can be dangerous because many really have convinced themselves that they are Dominants as a way to justify their dysfunctional lives. Many inexperienced submissives find themselves ‘naturally’ attracted to these men because outwardly they seem so ‘in command’ of things all the time. The truly ironic (and sad) thing is, a controlling personality is actually the closest thing to the OPPOSITE of a sexual Dominant.

Controls Freaks can be spotted because they often talk about ‘taking care of you’ and also ‘knowing what’s best for you.’ They almost always try to play on your emotions; especially guilt. They also usually criticize and even resent the advice you get from other people. They often talk about 24/7 D/s relationships without going into any details about what kind of actual scenes they play. They are fond of telling you that they prefer the ‘mental aspect’ of Domination and submission. They tend to be both demanding and argumentative. Nothing you do will ever be ‘quite right.’ While all this may seem very repulsive and easy to avoid, be on your guard, the average control freak often seems very charming initially. Once they have their ‘hooks’ into you it’s very hard to get untangled.


The last and most dangerous type of enemy is the predator. These are the men most likely to damage or even end your life. The truly frightening thing about these evil men it that there is NO easy way to spot them. Predators can be anything from bums to bank mangers, and anyone from family members to total strangers. One in four women has suffered an attack from this vile creature, and one in seven men as well! There motive is violence. The best defense is never make yourself too vulnerable.

To defend yourself from predators, learn all the in's and out's of setting up a good Safety Net. Follow these procedures religiously. Most important of all TAKE YOUR TIME getting to know your prospective play partners. This is good advice in any case. If you know your partner well, you’re more likely to have a good time with him (because you will feel more comfortable during that first Scene). Predators are more likely to move on in search of easy prey, they do tend to be impulsive. If a ‘dom’ you have been talking too suddenly seems to lose interest in you after a period of time, you may have just saved your own life. Don’t go chasing after anybody. A true Dom doesn't need to play ‘hard to get.’

Step 3: Know your goal!

Take the time to figure out what you want. It’s often hard for newbie subs to do this because sometimes they lack knowledge of what choices are available to them. There are many publications, books, and interNet websites that cater to sexual submissives. So start reading! Learn about the different types of play and how they should be conducted. Learn everything you can about how to set up a Safety Net. Learn all the do’s and don’ts of meeting others and playing safely. Decide what your limits are and set them down on paper. This may seem like a lot of homework to do in the name of fun, but also keep in mind that that it’s your ASS that’s (literally) on the line here.

Know what a real Dom acts like. Remember, you are probably a sexual submissive because you ARE in control the rest of the time. You are strong! Likely even ambitious as well. You have a career, or goals, or a lifestyle that demands this high level of energy and control. So giving away your control is a beautiful respite from everyday life. Your power and energy is something you only want to give to someone you trust, and in intimate situations at that. It’s a very personal thing to you!

Well guess what, sexual Dominants are usually the compliment of this. They are strong people too, and tend to be intelligent. They are often highly trained professionals. They tend to be easygoing. There’s really no such thing as an uptight sexual Dominant. They like being in control in INTIMATE situations. It’s a respite from everyday lives. They are not really the opposite of sub, but they are the ‘puzzle piece’ that fits next to you snugly. In another words, don't look for a Dom that’s exactly like you. You won't find him. Don’t look for a Dom that wants to run your whole life; he doesn't exist.

ABOVE ALL, if you’re prospective Dom seems like a generally ‘nice guy’ you’re likely on the right track! Take the time to get to know him. Don't let the five control freaks on the other side of the chat room demand your attention. A natural Dom isn’t likely to make demands until its time to play.

Step 4: Memorize the Acid Tests!

Test #1: When in doubt, throw it out! Don’t waste your time with people that make you feel uncomfortable. Even if the guy was a real Dom, if his personality makes you feel uncomfortable, he’s not going to be fun to play with.

Test #2: "You’d better call me Sir!" is the mating call of a HNG or control freak. Real Doms don't have to ask for titles, they EARN them. Most real Doms will say things like "please, call me John…"

Test #3: "I want you to take my collar before you play with me." This is another common demand of fakes, most often made by control freaks. They have to isolate you from other people and their advice, and sometimes a little ole "cyber-collar" is just the thing! Cyber-collars are worth less than the leather required to make one.

Test #4: If you get an Instant Message that says something like "On your knees you [slave, slut, bitch, , etc.]" This is the mating call of the HNG. Use some common sense here. Why waste time with somebody that’s not even polite? There’s a time and a place for these endearing terms, and it isn’t online!

Test #5: "I don't have to answer that question!" or "It’s not proper etiquette for you to ask a Master that." are examples of some the dangerous LIES that control freaks and snerts use. This is the Acid test I personally think is the most important! A Dom had better be ready to at least TRY and answer every question you have, and HONESTLY at that! It’s literally your ass that’s on the line! Never forget this!

Test #6: "It’s my way or the highway!" or words to that effect, are the mating cry of the common control freak. Doms can have Limits too, but it’s your Limits that count FIRST. Don’t let any would-be ‘dom’ tell you differently. Don’t let any of the wannabe subs tell you differently either. Where Male Dom/Fem sub play is concerned, it’s ALWAYS LADY’S CHOICE!

Test #7: Don't bother with online collars. Don't make decisions about a prospective partner based on his online play style. It’s a very simple test if you think about it: would a real life Dominant waste time on cyber sex? Please take my word for it; the answer is NO. Once you’ve done the real thing, cyber is just too damn dull.

Test #8: Ask your prospect if he’s ever made any mistakes during a scene. If he say’s ‘no,’ run for your life! If he says, ‘very rarely,’ at least be suspicious. Everyone makes mistakes, even if they are experienced players. Sometimes submissives have Limits they don't even know about, and even the most careful and skilled Dom the world will trip over these occasionally. Remember, according to our good friends of the Christian faith, the last perfect guy to walk this plaNet got nailed to a tree for his trouble. So expect competence, but not miracles.

Test #9 "I’m a [bank president, captain of industry, TV producer, self-made millionaire… yadda yadda yadda.]" Wouldn’t it be nice to meet a rich Dom too? Sure it would! But use some common sense too. How many captains of industry have hours to spend in a chat room? Also, think about this personality profile; if this super successful, always-in-control person is really into D/s, he’s likely a submissive! I have met a lot of female submissives that fit this ambitious profile, but not one Dom yet!

Test #10 "I’m 33 years old, and I’ve been a Master for 15 years." What are the odds? When you ask about a Doms level of experience (and it’s a good idea to do so) remember to do the math as well. Eighteen year old boys don’t care about the intricacies of D/s; they want to get laid. I personally believe that people do become what they are (be it gay, straight, Dom or sub) very early in life, but it takes maturity and training to be a Master. What are the odds a person became a Master when they were still using Clearasil?

Test #11 Ask for references! Especially if he claims to be ‘very experienced.’ Talk to the references ON THE PHONE. Lots of HNG’s have female screen-names set up to act as ‘references’ for them! I notice that a lot of newbies seem to have trouble with this concept. Which is understandable since in the vanilla world it’s considered rude to talk to a guy’s ex-girlfriend. But in the D/s Scene its the opposite, experienced players will accept and accommodate this kind of request gladly.

Test #12 "I have three real life collared slaves right now, but you can't talk to them." Okay, when you consider the ratio and all, this sounds possible. What makes this an acid test failed (and failed miserably at that) is the last part. I have met couples (and even triples) that really were looking for an extra person to add to the mix. This is not uncommon at all in the Scene. But these couples were looking TOGETHER. If a ‘dom’ has anyone already collared to them, you probably ought to talk to her FIRST!

Test #13 "I don't need safe words." Well of course he doesn’t! If he said this he’s likely a snert and therefore he’s never really been in a scene! Of course he might be a predator too, and then he wouldn't need safewords either. Need I say more?

Test #14 "My slaves trust me to set their Limits for them." If you hear a "dom" say this it’s most likely because these slaves only exist in his mind. Or worse still, his ‘slave’ is simply the victim of spouse abuse. Even so called TPE (Total Power Exchange) and other sorts of 24/7 (i.e., full time) D/s relationships should involve some careful negotiation.

Test #15 "I'm Married, my wife can't know about us." Safe D/s requires complete honesty. You can't build a good Scene on lies. There are plenty of people that will be willing to tell you differently; but please note, they will all turn out to be adulterers (and hence, liars) themselves.

Test #16 Insert your own Acid Test here. You will learn much from your mistakes and missteps. If you form an online contact with a "dom" that falls through, analyze WHY it fell through. Don't make the same mistakes twice if you can help it.

Step 5: It’s not just the men you have to screen!

Finding some female submissives to be buddies with you on your quest is a very good idea. Especially if they are experienced players; they can give you unique perspectives, emotional support, and even references to legitimate Doms to play with. They can also, most importantly, provide a Safety Net for you during those first meetings with the men you meet. The benefits of teaming up with other women in your search should be obvious!

However, be just as cautious about what you hear from other women online as well. If you are so inclined to search for a Domme for instance, the Acid tests should apply just as well. Be very cautious about the women you meet online that claim to be submissives as well. There are a great number of female HNG’s who live there D/s lifestyle in the vacuum of cyber-space. Their advice and experiences are not only useless in the real world, they can be dangerous. Another class of "female enemy" is even more tragic and dangerous; the Victim.

In Closing

This all seems like a lot of work. It is. Some of it sounds awfully scary too. It should. So why bother with this quest at all? Why not just stick "cyber only" in your profile and forget real life D/s? Why not just drop it all together? I can give you only one good reason; when it is done safely, and it suits your needs, it can be the one of the most profoundly fulfilling experiences in your life! I used to cringe at terms like "sex magic," but now that I know the spells, I’m an unabashed Wizard! Any student of psychology can tell you that denial has its own dangers too. The easy roads are not the ones that lead to interesting places. So arm yourself with knowledge, find yourself some trustworthy friends to share the journey, and start walking. Just don’t forget to bring your Acid Tests too!

The following are Indications of MAJOR Abuse. Counseling is recommended for anyone that can answer YES to any of the following questions. Immediate intervention is suggested for those who answered yes to even one of the questions that are in RED.

Do you...
_____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
_____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
_____ Feel your limits are ignored?
_____ Feel that safety is ignored?
_____ Is there no effort made to resolve conflict after a problematic session?
_____ Feel that you are just used as a ‘object’ on which the Master takes out their anger?
_____ Has your partner tried to force you into sexual situations with others?
_____ Are your needs as a submissive/slave ignored?
_____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
_____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
_____ Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
_____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
_____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
_____ Doubt your own judgment even in small decisions?
_____ Always doubt your memory of the way things happened because of what he says?
_____ Feel increasingly trapped and powerless?
_____ Have you thought of suicide?
_____ Have you thought of murdering your partner as a way out?


BDSM - an acronym that combines abbreviations for Bondage and Domination, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.

Collar - a symbol of possession used to denote some sort of committed relationship between a sexual Dominant and a sexual submissive.

Control Freak - slang for a person with a dysfunctional personality type usually referred to as a "controlling personality."

Cyber - slang for being online. Often refers to Cyber-sex.

Cyber Sex - interacting with another person online for the express purpose of sexual arousal.

D/s - abbr. for Domination and Submission.

Dom - abbr. or slang for a (usually male) sexual Dominant. A person that derives sexual and mental satisfaction from taking control of intimate sexual encounters. They are often simulated by using techniques such as sexual sadism, bondage, domineering role-play, and generally taking a commanding role in intimate situations.

Domme - abbr. or slang for a female sexual Dominant. See also Dom.

HNG - acronym for "Horny Net Geek."

Limit - something that either partner in a D/s relationship will not do, or does not like. Basically, a specific preference concerning D/s play. The submissive's Limits should always take precedence over the Dominant's. Limits should always be discussed and set out before a Scene ever starts. Respecting Limits is not an option, IT’S A REQUIREMENT.

Master - A title of honor for a (male) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of experience or competence. Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Dom in a Scene featuring "Master/slave" role-playing.

Mistress - A title of honor for a (female) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of experience or competence. Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Domme in a Scene featuring "Mistress/slave" role-playing.

Safe Word - a code word used by the submissive to signal his/her Dominant partner to either stop, slow down, or even completely end a Scene. "Safe Signals" must be substituted when the submissive is gagged or cannot otherwise speak. These are not an option for safe play, they are a requirement.

Safety Net - a person or persons who take the responsibility to make sure that your real life meeting with a prospective play partner is safe. This can range from actually "chaperoning" the meeting to setting up "safe calls" and so forth. This is a requirement for submissives, not an option, as it is the only defense they have against predators, , and con artists. Learn how to set one up and set them up religiously. Even vanilla women should learn to do this!

Sexual Masochist - a person that can experience profound arousal and/or euphoria from controlled doses of pain and other extreme stimuli.

Sexual Sadist - a person that can experience profound arousal and/or euphoria from inflicting carefully controlled doses of pain and other extreme stimuli on sexual Masochists. They DO NOT generally enjoy inflicting pain for its own sake. Nor do they enjoy using such stimuli on people that do not find it pleasurable.

Slave - a title of endearment and ownership given to sexual submissives that are participating in Master/slave lifestyles or role-playing. This usually signifies that the submissive wears the "Collar" of a particular Dominant.

Sub - abbr. or slang for a sexual submissive. A person who derives sexual and mental satisfaction from having control taken away from them in intimate sexual situations. They are often (but not always) sexual masochists. They often derive pleasure from bondage, and generally taking a subservient role in intimate situations.

Scene - slang for relating to D/s. As in "Yes, she’s a legitimate player in the Scene." Also slang for a specific session of D/s. As in "I was in this wonderful Scene last night." Often used as a verb in the same case; "They Scened at the party last night."

Subbie - common endearment for a sexual submissive, usually a female submissive.

Vanilla - slang for things that are not "kinky" or not related to sexual Dominance and submission.

Victim - a victim of abuse that uses D/s to "legitimize" her tragic situation.

Wannabe - derogatory; most often refers to a person that pretends to be a legitimate real life player in D/s. Most often used in reference to females that pretend to be sexual submissives and males that pretend to be Dominant.

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