JOKE-10 things that sound dirty on Halloween, but aren't .......
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Posted:Oct 13, 2018 3:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 5:55 am
3553 Views
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1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
  
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JOKE -WHATS FOR DINNER
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Posted:May 8, 2017 9:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 5:55 am
4495 Views
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The newly married man came home from work to find
his new bride stretched provocatively on the sofa, dressed in a negligee.
"Guess what I have planned for dinner?" she asked seductively.
"And don't you dare tell me you had it for lunch today."
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JOKE - buying the wife a bra
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Posted:May 4, 2017 6:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 5:55 am
4502 Views
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Greg thought he would give Keli a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him.
"What color?" they asked. Greg settled for white.
"How much does it cost?" Greg asked.
"Twenty-four dollars."
"Expensive, but ok," he thought. All that remained was the size, but he hadn't the faintest idea.
"Now Greg, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts? Grape fruits? Oranges?"
"No," he said, "nothing like that."
"Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's bust resembles."
He thought long and hard, pictured Keli in his mind, and then looked up and said, "Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"
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joke
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Posted:Apr 23, 2017 5:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2017 10:53 pm
4576 Views
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During sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She was like, "What are you doing?"
And I was like, "Hush, I saw this on PornHub, it's called Buffering
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joke
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Posted:Apr 26, 2015 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2015 6:26 pm
12264 Views
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A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." The she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"
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Jokes ....
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Posted:Apr 20, 2015 9:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2015 10:56 am
12368 Views
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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the
bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."
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Hockey Joke......Top ten reasons hockey is better than women
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Posted:Apr 18, 2015 3:30 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2015 6:30 pm
12392 Views
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1. In hockey, everyone likes it rough
2. You only get five minutes for fighting
3. 'Puck' is not a dirty word
4. You don't have to play in the neutral zone
5. It is possible to score a few times in a night
6. When you 'pull the goalie' nobody get pregnant
7. Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring
8. You can alway get new wood when your stick breaks
9. The zamboni gets to clean up the mess
10. Periods only last 20 minuets
I found this joke I figure since the official season is over and now playoffs are being played this was funny time to post it
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Joke - 's Vibrator
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Posted:Feb 16, 2015 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2015 5:42 pm
14390 Views
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A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her 's bedroom.
When she opened the door she found her naked on the bed with a vibrator.
What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
The replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement.
When he went downstairs, he found his naked on the sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room.
In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
He replied............"Watching the game with my -in-law."
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Jokes for valentines day
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Posted:Feb 4, 2015 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2015 6:53 pm
14746 Views
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A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.
My One And Only
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
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BLIZZARD
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Posted:Jan 26, 2015 4:32 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2015 2:23 pm
15222 Views
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What is your favorite way to ride out a snow storm?......
let me know
 
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Joke
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Posted:Jan 20, 2015 8:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2015 11:55 am
15499 Views
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I copy this from friend who posted it - found it funny so I wanted to share
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
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what teams do u see going to the superbowl?
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Posted:Jan 10, 2015 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2015 8:25 pm
15895 Views
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I would like to know what teams people think will be going into the superbowl this year?
My first team is not in the playoffs (49ers) so I am rooting for hometown teams New England Patriots....who are you rooting for?
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