Fighting Words
|
Posted:Feb 16, 2009 3:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2009 5:53 am
3847 Views
|
When I get home last night, my wife demands that I take her someplace expensive. So I take her to a gas station. And then the fight starts.
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we’re in bed. I turn to her and say, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answers. I then say, "Is that your final answer?" She doesn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I say, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And then the fight starts.
After retiring, I go to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asks me for my driver's license to verify my age. I look in my pockets and realize I left my wallet at home. I tell the woman that I’m very sorry, but I need to go home and come back later. The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So I open my shirt, revealing my curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me." And she processes my Social Security application. When I get home, I excitedly tell my wife about my experience. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too." And then the fight starts.
Saturday morning I get up early, dress quietly, make my lunch, grab the dog, and slip quietly into the garage. I hook the boat up to the truck and proceed to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind is blowing 50 mph, so I pull back into the garage, turn on the radio, and discover that the weather will be bad all day. I go back into the house, quietly undress, and slip back into bed. I cuddle up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whisper, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And then the fight starts.
My wife and I are sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I keep staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. My wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sigh. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight starts.
I rear-end a car this morning. So, there we are alongside the road and slowly the other driver gets out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I can’t believe it. He’s a dwarf! He storms over to my car, looks up at me, and shouts, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down at him and say, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight starts.
I take my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, takes my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He says, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight starts.
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect." And then the fight starts.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Fantasy Anniversary
|
Posted:Feb 11, 2009 5:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2009 5:54 am
5167 Views
|
I ask you if there’s a fantasy you want to live out on this special night. You tell me that having two men at once would be interesting, to be completely pampered by them, to make you happy in every way.
That night at our local bar, we’re drinking and talking with Lew, one of my acquaintances, when you feel a hand on your leg under the table. The hand slowly caresses the inside of your leg, inching ever so slowly toward your pussy. I lean over and give you a deep, probing kiss. Your mind is racing with me kissing you as Lew caresses your inner thighs. You wonder if we’d like to continue in private. Just then, the waitress asks if we’d like another round. I shake my head, drop some bills on the table, then say, "Why don't we move this little party somewhere else?”
We walk out of the bar and down the block to my apartment. Once inside, you ask Lew and me what we’d like. We look at each other, smile, and in unison say, "You!"
Your fantasy is beginning to come true as we tell you to sit down and relax, that we’re going to pamper you. As you do, I go off to the bathroom as Lew starts to undress you, kissing each part of your body as it is exposed to him. By this time, you’re really hot, and you start to undress him. He turns to you and says, "Not yet."
Just then I come out of the bathroom nude and lead you to a nice, hot bubble bath. I guide you into the tub and proceed to join you. I start to caress your body, sliding the soap over you, making you hot. Your erect nipples are poking through the bubbles, wanting to be licked and sucked. You guide my head toward your breasts. As I begin to drip hot water over one of them, you feel intense cold on the other. You look up to see Lew kneeling beside the tub, caressing your breast with an ice cube. What a sensation. Hot and cold together, but separate. You feel your juices start flowing, and a hand playing with your clit. You begin to moan and say how wonderful this feels, and how every muscle in your body is relaxed. Just then you feel yourself start to come, slowly at first. But then it rolls like thunder throughout your body.
Once you’re spent, we lift you out of the tub and towel you off, carrying you toward the bedroom. The room is lit by candles and we lie with you on the bed, one on each side. You then feel warm oil being dripped all over you. We start to massage you, four hands caressing you, slowly inching toward each other. Your body glistens in the candlelight.
You ask us to pour oil on ourselves. You watch as we each cover ourselves, both leaving our hard cocks for last. Kneeling beside you, we rub the oil on our cocks and slowly pull on them. Your mouth is watering, wanting to taste them, but instead you reach out and start to caress both of them, slowly massaging our cocks in your hand.
Feeling us both caressing you as you squeeze our oiled dicks, you roll over onto all fours with me in front of you and Lew behind. I’m pulling on my cock right near your mouth. You dart your tongue out and lick at my pee hole when you feel a tongue licking the length of your hot, wanting pussy. You open your mouth and I place my cock on your tongue. You close your lips around the head of my cock and start to suck on it, your tongue moving back and forth across its head. You feel a tongue probing at your pussy, licking you between your lips, flicking your clit back and forth while a finger plays with your hole and another plays with your ass.
You take my cock deeper into your mouth, sucking it harder and faster. I place my hands on your head to guide you. I tell you to slow down, that I want to enjoy this. Your hips move back and forth across Lew’s face, feeling yourself being filled in every hole. You suck my hard cock slow and deep as you feel the head of Lew’s cock teasing your pussy. It slowly finds its way in, then thrusts deep into you. You moan out loud and say, "Fuck me harder! Fuck me harder! I want to feel you pound into me hard and fast!"
Just then I’m so excited at seeing you being fucked from behind that I ram my cock deep into your throat. You’re so hot that you start to come. And as you do, you suck my cock even harder and faster while pushing yourself more forcefully against the rigid prick fucking you. Just then you feel hot come sliding down your throat, forcing you to swallow every drop. A few seconds later you feel more come streaming on your ass. Both Lew and I collapse on either side of you. You turn and give each of us a deep probing kiss.
As you’re kissing Lew, I decide that you need to come again so I start to suck on your clit. As I do, Lew kisses you deeply and caresses your nipples, pulling on them lightly and pinching them while I suck on your clit. I place a finger in your slippery hole and start to finger fuck you. Your hips are moving in rhythm with me as I press a finger up your ass, filling you, sucking your clit faster. Now you’re coming in my mouth, shooting your juice all over my face, feeling a sublime sensation throughout your entire body.
As you calm down, you’re carried once again into the bathroom this time for a nice sensual shower, sandwiched between two men. Your body is so hot and sensitive that you can't get enough. As we soap you up, you want more. Lew kneels down and sucks at your clit while I bend you over and slowly place the head of my cock at your asshole. You hesitate, but I tell you to relax and just let yourself go. Just then you feel yourself loosening, wanting to experience this new excitement. You feel me inch my cockhead slowly into your ass. I lean over and say that I love a tight ass, and slowly move in a circle, making you a little wider, and inching myself in deeper.
All the while you feel your clit being sucked and licked. Just when you know that my cock is as deep in your ass as it can go, you feel a dildo plunging into your pussy, moving in opposite rhythm to my hard dick. You’ve never felt anything like this before. Lew places his cock in your mouth, pumping fast and furious, until he shoots his load down your throat. Now you’re coming harder and longer than you ever have before, feeling as if every vein in your body is going to explode.
When you finally stop coming, we rinse off and carry you back to the bedroom. Just then I say, "Happy Anniversary, baby.”
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Home on the Range
|
Posted:Feb 9, 2009 6:32 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2009 5:54 am
4231 Views
|
There are two lovers who are really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vow that if either dies, the one remaining will try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after his or her death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man dies in a car wreck.
True to her word, his sweetheart tries to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the séance, she calls out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?"
A ghostly voice answers her, "Yes, Martha. This is John. I can hear you."
Martha tearfully asks, "Oh, John. What is it like where you are?"
"It's great. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time, the grass is so green, and the cows have such beautiful eyes."
"What do you do all day?" asks Martha.
"Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m."
Martha is somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?"
"Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha."
"Well, then, where are you?"
"I'm a bull in Montana."
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Ghostly Visit
|
Posted:Feb 4, 2009 9:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2009 5:55 am
5134 Views
|
I’m restless, but unsure why.
After what feels like hours of tossing and turning, I hear something move near the doorway of my bedroom. I call out, but there’s no response; perhaps it’s the moving around. My looks up, whines, and turns his head from his place on the bed as he hears his master call for him. I decide it’s nothing, perhaps my sleeplessness, and turn over and try to go back to sleep.
I begin thinking about you and how much I miss you. You were perfect, so kind, sensitive, loving. You were so beautiful with your long, full hair, gorgeous smooth skin, those expressive eyes, and sensuous lips. You were so delicate on the outside but so strong inside. I loved you so much and it hurts every day to not have you here with me. I asked you not to go that day. I had a bad feeling.
“Baby, how many times have I made this trip?” you sighed.
“I know, I know, but today just feels different,” I mumbled.
“My precious man, I’ll see you at midnight tomorrow. Until then, don’t worry and I’ll call you when I get in,” you said.
But the call never came. Your arrival time came and went, but there was no word from you. Your plane crashed, and there were no known survivors.
That was seven months ago. Am I ever going to quit looking for you to walk through the door calling to me? I drift back to sleep, dreaming of you and how much I loved you and miss you.
I feel the soft touch of your fingers on the back of my neck. Shivers run down my spine at your touch. They always do. Those soft, smooth, full, and sensual lips begin to trace my skin from my ear down to the middle of my back as my loins start to stir.
Your soft hair brushes across my face, neck, and back as you move up my side with your fingers and lips. I feel your soft tongue and hot breath on my back as you trace up to my ear. My cock is getting hard. I feel you touch me again as you move down to my butt cheeks. I feel your hands caressing and kneading me, and I begin to moan softly for you.
I allow you to take the lead and you begin to touch me as you please. Your fingers gently touch my face, my eyes, my ears, and lips. Your mouth comes down and covers my lips once more as your tongue darts in and out of my mouth, searching, touching, and tasting. I respond in kind and push my lips hard against yours until I can feel your breath getting deeper and faster. My hands explore your delicious body.
First I touch your delicate throat with my fingers, then my tongue. I move to your firm, round breasts, cupping them while I lick and kiss them one at a time.
My balls are in your hands as you caress and fondle them gently. I feel your tongue trace my nipples and your teeth move over their tips just before you lightly bite them. You move your mouth and tongue to the middle of my chest, and then downward to my hard, throbbing, aching cock. You let my balls gently fall from your fingers as you hold my cock in your hand. My breath is a quick, deep gasp.
Your mouth teases my cock and you touch just the tip with your tongue, licking the glistening pre-come off. You lick me clean while your hand gently but firmly strokes me up and down. You hold my cock firmly as you move up and down, feeling my cock engorge and become harder for you. You want to take me, but not yet. You want me so hot and wanting that I beg you to take hold and put me inside of you.
You slide your mouth to the top of my glistening dick, then with your hot lips barely caressing me, you quicken your strokes just enough to see my cock stretch out to you. As your mouth and tongue circle the tip and the ridge of my cock, your hands are busy stroking my balls and ass.
As you lick and suck my cock, your fingers are caressing my ass. You slide one finger to the center of my ass and begin to circle my browneye. You feel my ass muscles spasm as you insert your finger but quickly remove it. My cock shudders in your mouth, offering you more of my pre-come to swallow. Keeping your finger in my ass, you take my balls in your mouth and suck. Your hair is in my hands as I move and moan. I beg you to let me take you before I fill your mouth with hot come.
You place your body just above mine and begin to lower yourself to my straining, engorged cock. I grip your hips to guide you onto my dick. You move a bit so you can turn around and place me in your pussy with your back to me.
You drop down on my cock as I push into your hot pussy. You reach down and hold my ankles as you move with me, feeling me go deeper and deeper inside you. As I push deeper, I feel your pussy responding with a burst of your sweet come covering my shaft.
You pull away from me and reposition me above you on the bed. I once again take you deep and hard as our bodies move together, sharing sweat and moans of satisfaction. You pull me deeper as I thrust faster, reaching inside of you, feeling your cunt grip me, milking me with every thrust and grind. Your hands are moving furiously over my back and shoulders as you push and pull against me. After I fill you with all of my pent-up love juice, we lie here together, holding hands and legs intertwined as we cool down and drift off to sleep.
I wake the next morning feeling tired but extremely happy and satisfied. That was such a wonderful dream. If only it was real, I think. It sure feels real–the tension, your delicate, hot touch all over my body, just like it always was.
I get up to shower and stumble to the bathroom, exhausted. As I stretch, I feel the red-hot pull on my back. I turn to look in the mirror and there I see mysterious fingernail scratches all across my shoulders and back!
As the steam from the shower begins to cover the mirror, something appears. On the mirror is written, “I promised I would see you at midnight. Wait for me. Wait for our next midnight. Love, Moi.”
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Oops!
|
Posted:Feb 2, 2009 9:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2009 5:55 am
3781 Views
|
There's a man who has a fifty-inch long penis. But he can't get any sex because every woman who sees it faints at the sight. So he goes to the doctor and begs him to shorten it. But the doctor refuses; he can't shorten a perfectly good penis, he tells the man, but he does happen to know a witch who lives in the forest. She might be able to help.
Because he's so desperate the man decides he'll go and see her, though of course he thinks it's all a bit odd. But he sets off into the forest and, sure enough, finds the witch sitting in front of her cottage casting spells. "Witch," he says. "Please help me! I have a fifty-inch long penis and no one will have sex with me!"
The witch takes one look at his massive cock and says, "You do need my help. But you must go into the forest and find the magic frog that lives in the pond. Ask him to marry you, and each time he refuses, your penis will shrink by ten inches!"
Weird though this is, the man is desperate, so off he goes into the forest. And, sure enough, he finds the magic frog singing quietly to itself. "Froggy," he shouts. "Please marry me!"
The frog looks up, annoyed. "No!" he croaks. "I can't do that, seeing as how I'm a frog and you're a man." The guy looks down. Sure enough, his penis has shrunk by ten inches! It's still a bit long for sex, he thinks, at forty inches, but he's delighted, so he shouts back at the frog, "Oh, go on, please marry me!"
"No! I told you once!" the frog croaks, "I can't do that!" The man looks down. Sure enough, his penis has shrunk by another ten inches! It's now only thirty inches long. The guy thinks this is wonderful but, still, another ten inches off would be perfect!
"Frog," he roars across the pond, "please marry me!" The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head, and shouts, "No! No! And for the last time, NO!”
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Slow Hand Steve
|
Posted:Jan 28, 2009 4:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2009 6:33 am
4705 Views
|
In the words of my muse . . .
My friend Steve and I have kind of an unusual relationship. We share a nice house, expenses, and we also share the same bed. He and I work long hours and don’t see each other a lot, but when we do get a chance to just relax it usually ends up with us having some great sex.
I start by giving Steve a back rub to loosen up his tired and tight back muscles, and when he’s relaxed enough he rolls over and I snuggle up to him. I rub his chest and stomach, and after a bit I start rubbing lower, until I’m rubbing around his dick and balls. I use a feather-light touch at first, not touching his dick, just rubbing around the sides of his legs and sac.
I do this for a few minutes, slowly driving him wild. He moves around, trying to get me to touch his dick before I’m ready. When I’m ready I start by massaging his balls ever so gently and slowly working my way up to his dick. By now he has a nice hard-on.
While I’m doing this to him he’s working some magic of his own. He starts by rubbing my back lightly. I have a certain spot he finds on my back that sends a shiver all over my body, like a small orgasm. He then runs his fingers through my hair, down my forehead, across my nose, and down to my lips, where he starts a little teasing dance with his fingers running over and around my lips.
I join him with my tongue, trying to catch a finger to suck on. Soon he lets me. When I suck it in my mouth he lets out a little gasp because I start treating it like a little dick and he knows what’s in store for him.
He pulls his finger out of my mouth and starts moving on down my body, over my chin, down my neck and on down to my breasts where he lingers for a few minutes, just barely touching and circling my nipples and making my pussy juices flow.
Soon he works his way lower to my pussy, where he starts teasing me again, running his fingers ever so lightly around the outsides of my lips, not touching at first, then slowly up one side and then the other. He rubs a finger up the middle, not entering me, just teasing up and down slowly, and lightly increasing the pressure a little each time, until he’s inside and touching my clit. He starts again, rubbing it lightly, teasing slowly, increasing the pressure until he has me writhing in agony and ecstasy at the same time.
He slips one finger up inside me, while his other hand is rubbing my clit with a circular motion. After a few minutes of this he adds a second finger to the one inside, then a third, until he is fucking me with his fingers like little dicks. It’s not long before he has me squirming and bucking against his hand, trying to get them in as deep as I can. He’s got me coming like a little geyser, come squirting everywhere as I hump his hand frantically.
When my orgasm starts to subside he removes his fingers from my pussy long enough for me to reposition myself so I can get ahold of his dick. I take it in my hand and hold it up against his body so I can get to his balls first. I lick them lightly, tasting his sweet, musky sweat, then I take them one at a time into my mouth, sucking on them like little pieces of candy, softly, then a little harder, just hard enough to make him shiver.
Then I slowly lick my way up to the underside of his dick until I reach the tip, where I run my tongue around the head like an ice cream cone. I ease him into my mouth until I have him completely inside. I hold him there for a minute or two, gliding my tongue around his shaft. I slowly pull his cock out to the head and start a steady up-and-down sucking motion while gently massaging his balls.
After a few minutes of this he makes me quit because he doesn’t want to come yet. He pulls me up on the bed in front of him, with my back to him. He reaches around and starts playing with my pussy. I raise my leg so he can have easier access to my box from behind. He slowly enters me until he has me full of nice hard cock, and then he starts to fuck me in and out slowly, increasing his tempo until he has a nice rhythm going, all the while playing with my clit. Soon he has me erupting like a geyser again.
He does this several times before he repositions me again, this time on my back, holding my feet almost to my head. He rubs my pussy with his hard dick, teasing, just brushing my clit over and over, then he plunges in up to the balls and I start coming again. But he’s not through; he keeps this up until I’ve come several more times.
When he tires of this position he rolls me over on my stomach and pulls me up on my knees for doggie-style. He enters me by slowly rubbing on my pussy lips, then all of a sudden entering me in one motion. By this time the least little touch has me going into another orgasm. It’s like a continuous shudder going through my body as wave after wave of ecstasy hits me.
I reach around and grab him by the balls and squeeze so I can tell when he’s ready to come. When I feel his balls tightening up, he starts slamming harder against me until I’m coming again with him. I feel his warm come shooting inside me like a squirt gun being triggered over and over. He leans against me and I fall face first on the bed gasping for air. Wow! This has been the best session yet.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
The Priest and His Cock
|
Posted:Jan 26, 2009 7:24 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2009 1:48 pm
4073 Views
|
The priest in a small Irish village loves the cock and ten hens he keeps in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock goes missing! The priest knows that cock fights happen in the village so he starts to question his parishioners in church the next morning.
During Mass, he asks the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stand up.
"No, no," he says, "That isn’t what I mean. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stand up.
"No, no," he says, "That isn’t what I mean. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stand up.
"No, no," he says, "That isn’t what I mean. Has anybody seen MY cock?"
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests, and a goat stand up.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Mystery Woman
|
Posted:Jan 21, 2009 4:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2009 12:43 pm
4772 Views
|
My gaze lifts as a soft shadow falls across my lap. I’m sitting in my living room chair dozing when you walk in. You’re breathtaking. The long waves of your hair catch the sun’s dying rays, making the ends look as if they’re on fire. Your eyes glint darkly with desire. You have a seductive, slightly cocky smile on your lips. My first thought should’ve been, “Who the hell is this woman and how did she get in my apartment?” But all I seem able to do is stare.
My stare lingers on your face for a few moments, taking in your sweet features and soft pink lips. You’re wearing a short red dress, the lacy hem barely reaching your tan, well-defined thighs. It isn’t a tight dress, but the flimsy material clings to your supple breasts, barely covering them. I notice your nipples are hard, easily jutting against the fabric of your dress. The low-cut front offers me a view of your deep cleavage. I want to get an even closer look. I feel my cock rise in my pants, and a familiar dull ache begins in my balls.
You smile, seeing the look of desire in my eyes.
“In case you’re wondering, I was sent here.” Your voice is soft and richly feminine, with a husky, airy quality to it. It seems to jar me out of my trance. I meet your amused eyes with an inquiring look of my own.
“Sent here?”
Instead of answering, you lean forward, instantly hushing me. I see that your nails are long and painted a deep crimson. Just the thought of what those nails could do sends shivers up my spine. You slip into my lap, one long leg on either side of my hips. Your dress slides up your thighs, and I can smell the musky scent rising from between them. I glance down in time to see the crease of your bare pussy before you lean close and press your lips to mine. God, those lips! They’re moist and soft and part easily when I press my tongue to them.
I close my eyes, groaning softly as your tongue swirls wetly around mine and then goes on to explore every inch of my mouth.
My hands go to your slender waist, holding your body to mine. I can feel your warm breasts pressing against my chest. I pull you even closer, loving the feel of them nestled against me. Your hands come up, one on each side of my face, and your nails softly caress my cheeks. Your eyelashes flutter softly as you moan. Your heart begins to pound in your chest, matching the rhythm of my own.
I slide my hands to your hips, my fingers massaging you through the satin dress. You begin to rock your hips against mine, your bare slit rubbing against my cock through my pants. My hands search for the hem of your dress, pulling it up to cup your cheeks. I drop one hand between your legs and slide a finger into your warmth, your lips already wet and open. You tremble against me and slide down instinctively toward my hand. Two of my fingers caress your slit and then slowly dip inside of you. You’re slick and welcoming, spreading your thighs eagerly. Your leg muscles flex, your pelvic muscles contracting around my fingers.
My other hand comes up and pulls the straps of your dress off your shoulders. You shrug out of it, your full, rounded breasts exposed for me to see in all their glory. Your nipples are pink and firm. I cup one breast in my hand and bring it to my lips, which eagerly close around one nipple. I begin to suck.
Your fingers deftly undo my pants. Your hand slips into my boxers and curl around my hard shaft, stroking it slowly. Your smooth fingertips run over my cock, feeling me throb. Your thumb rubs over the head of my cock and begins to rub my pre-come into my skin. I moan, my teeth biting down on your nipple.
Your eyes twinkle with mischief as you place one of your fingers into your own wetness, placing your now come-covered finger into my mouth. I suck slowly, highly aroused. You watch me intently as my tongue rolls around your fingers, tasting every last drop. You then withdraw your fingers and rise in one smooth motion to your feet. I gaze up at you, wondering if you’re just going to tease me and then leave. With a wink you pull your dress up, revealing a perfectly bald pussy, wet and shiny around your slit, and the tip of your swollen clit protruding slightly from its cloak.
You continue to pull your dress off, revealing a flat, muscular stomach. You pull the dress up over your head and toss the flimsy garment to the side, your breasts coming free.
Then you kneel in front of me, positioning yourself between my legs. My cock stands straight up, hard and pulsing. You lean forward and press your open lips to the head, your tongue softly flicking out. My hips arch, aching for you to take me into your mouth. You close your eyes, languidly bathing my shaft with your wet, warm tongue. Your nails run down my thighs, causing me to pump against your lips. Your tongue flutters softly around the base and then swirls up my erect cock, the tip running over the ridge.
My hands slide through your long hair, holding your mouth in place between my legs. Slowly you take me between your lips, lowering your mouth onto my cock, inch by inch. You start to suck on my length, coaxing my warm come from my balls. My hands reach down, my fingers rubbing back and forth across your nipples, massaging them while you work my cock over. I cup each breast in my hands, squeezing them.
When you run your teeth lightly up my cock I think I’m going to come, but you pull back before I can. You look up at me and wink, and then slide up my body, letting my penis run down your lips, your chin, your neck, leaving a wet trail between your soft breasts and down your stomach. You climb back into my lap, wrapping your long legs around my waist, and position your wet gash against the head of my cock. You grind your hips against mine, your moist slit rubbing teasingly against me.
You begin to nuzzle your lips against my neck, your cunt sliding down onto my cock until just the tip is inside you. My head falls back, letting your tongue explore my warm pulse. After a minute, you lower yourself more onto me, my shaft ever so slowly sliding another inch deeper.
Your wetness runs down my cock, making it glisten. With a soft cry, you slide down completely onto me, taking all seven inches into your hot, quivering body. Your tongue begins to run up my neck to my earlobe, your breath warm and damp. I start to pump into you, my hands grasping your hips, guiding you. With each thrust, I drive myself deeper. Your head comes up, your tongue running over my lips, nibbling. I look up at you. Your eyes are closed, your exquisite lips parted in a silent moan.
I continue to labor against you, filling you, letting your warm inner walls caress my cock. Sweat begins to form on our bodies, making us slippery as we fuck. A tiny trickle of sweat runs down between your breasts, and I lean forward, pressing my tongue between them to catch it.
A sudden cry pierces the air, and I feel your body shudder against me, your chest heaving as you begin to slam your hips toward mine, a warm wave of your come running down my shaft. I rake my fingers across your ass, pushing myself fully into you as I come, too.
I close my eyes, panting, as I revel in our lovemaking.
Your soft lips brush my ear. “I’ll be back,” comes your breathless whisper.
When I open my eyes again, you’re gone.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Fatal Distraction
|
Posted:Jan 19, 2009 11:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2009 4:03 am
3674 Views
|
A pregnant woman is in the bank when the bank is robbed. A gunfight breaks out, and she is shot three times in the abdomen. She is rushed to the hospital. Miraculously, she is unharmed. After giving a full examination, though, the doctor tells her, "I have good and bad news for you. You are going to have triplets – but each baby has a bullet in it. Luckily, they have hit no vital organs, and eventually your will pass the bullets naturally."
The woman has three healthy babies. Twelve years pass, and she has all but forgotten the incident in the bank.
One day, the first , a , comes to her mother and says, "Mom, the strangest thing just happened – I was using the toilet, and I passed a bullet." The mother explains everything, and she assures her that everything is okay.
A few weeks later, the second , also a , comes to her mother and says, "Mom, the strangest thing just happened." The mother interrupts her and says, "You passed a bullet, right?" The mother goes on to tell the the story.
Several weeks later, the third , a , comes to his mother and says, "Mom, the strangest thing just happened." The mother interrupts him and says, "You passed a bullet, right?" The says, "No, Mom – I was jacking off and shot the dog!"
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Paradise
|
Posted:Jan 14, 2009 5:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2009 8:10 am
4468 Views
|
We’re in a glass elevator at an exclusive hotel. I’m taking you to yet another surprise destination–you have no idea where we’re going!
When we look out the windows of the elevator, there is a beautiful atrium with green plants, waterfalls, fountains, and brightly colored flowers all over. In the corner of the lobby there is a baby grand piano playing, and there are people walking all around the lobby. We can see everyone, and everyone can see us.
We’re both wearing bathing suits and sandals. Your bikini is green and white and ties on both sides of your hips; the top has a string tied around your chest and one around your neck. My suit is blue, cut low around my hips, its legs snug against my thighs. We both have sunglasses resting on top of our heads.
We gathered our stuff and made our way down the long hall from our room to the elevator. When we got inside, I covered the buttons with my towel so you couldn’t see which one I pressed.
Now we’re standing right across from one another. God, you look hot! A feeling comes over me, and I walk toward you. You’re leaning up against the main window of the elevator. I walk up to you without saying a word and grab both your hands. Then I lift them over your head and pin them both up against the window. I lean in and kiss you. This has got to be the steamiest kiss we’ve ever shared.
I reposition my fingers so they interlock with yours and press you a bit harder up against the window. I move our hands so they’re right above your head.
Even as I continue to kiss you, I hold both your hands in one of mine, then run my other hand slowly down the inside of your arm. It makes its way down to your breast, and I caress you. I slide my hand inside your top and tease the nipple. I feel a stirring in my trunks.
I pull away from you and move back over to the buttons on the wall of the elevator. I pull the STOP button, and we come to a halt. I walk back to you and grab you around the waist. I pull you in for another kiss, then lift you a bit and seat you on the railing in the elevator. I stop kissing you and stare into your eyes. I begin to kiss you down your chest.
I make my way to your stomach. I reach down and untie your bikini bottom. It drops to your ankles. I kneel and begin to eat your pussy. You prop a leg up on the railing and roll your hips, thrusting my tongue in your sweet, wet channel. You grab the back of my head, moaning.
You glance over your shoulder and realize that a crowd is gathering outside the elevator, and they’re looking up at us through the window. “They’re all watching us, ” you say. So I stand up and spin you around. I push you up against the window and pull your head back a bit. I reach around and put both hands on your tits. I kiss your neck.
I look out and make eye contact with a man watching us. His face has a look of such excitement and pleasure, it’s almost as if he is pondering what we might do next. I slide my hand down and finger you slowly. You throw your head back in ecstasy. With me still kissing your neck, you pull your arms up behind you and around my neck.
I turn you once more so you’re facing me. “I’m here to be with you, ” I say. “Don’t worry about the people watching. Just lie back and relax. Let them watch.”
I kiss you softly and lay you down on the floor. I kneel between your legs and we kiss again. I thrust my pelvis forward, and your hips react the same way. We lie there kissing and
dry-fucking. You reach behind me and squeeze my ass.
I reach in my bag and pull out a pink vibrating dildo. I move my legs so they’re straddling you. I place the dildo against my pubic bone and direct it at your clit. We begin to rock back and forth with it pressing against both of us. You reach up and start to play with your tits. We’re both breathing heavier. My rocking grows stronger and faster as our excitement
mounts.
I remove the dildo and position myself next to you on the floor. “Do you want me to take you to paradise?” I say.
“Absolutely!” you reply.
I stand up and walk over to the buttons and take the elevator out of STOP. We can hear the crowd, which consists mostly of men, groaning outside the window. They’re upset that our show is over. We’re both standing up now, and I grab your hand. You look at me with a little-girl smile, and I pull you over to me. I lean in and kiss you–just once, just a small, soft peck. “Lover, ” I say, “you’re just amazing.” Then we embrace.
After the elevator stops, at first you can’t see where we are. It’s dark–until the door opens and I say, ”Here we are. Welcome to paradise.”
We step out, and you realize we’re on the rooftop. There’s a table set up with a variety of fruits and a fondue pot full of chocolate in the middle. At right is a good-size swimming pool with an attached hot tub. Soft music is being piped in. There are comfortable lounge chairs set up all over, but there’s no one else here.
“I reserved the roof deck just for us, ”I say.
I take you by the hand and guide you to the table. I grab a strawberry and dip it in the hot chocolate fondue, then blow on it seductively to cool it off. With the strawberry in one of my hands and your hand in the other, I pull you close and feed you the strawberry, touching it to your lips first. You take a bite, then lean in to kiss me. While we’re in a passionate embrace, we both slide our hands down and continue to strip one another.
Once we’re fully nude, I take your hand and lead you to the pool. You dive in, and I dive in after you. We meet underwater, and I kiss you. We come back to the surface and continue to
kiss, our hands gliding all over each other under the water. I reach up and take your head in my hands, then lean in and kiss your cheek, followed by your lips.
I lean back to look at you. “You’re so beautiful,” I say. “I want to feel every inch of your body.”
You lean forward and kiss me, then slide your hand down me. You cup my balls. I wrap my legs around you, leaving room for your hand to stroke me. Your breasts press against my chest. I’ve never been so hard.
We make our way to the side of the pool, and you help me up on the edge. You lay me back and begin to lick and suck me, both of your hands massaging my balls. You pull my hips closer. I watch as my entire cock disappears down your throat. I toss my head back and moan, “God, you are so good at this,” as I come in your mouth.
I slide down the pool wall back into the water, and we kiss. I taste my come on your lips and tongue. I raise you up so your legs are straddling me and make my way to the hot tub. I help
you in, then enter right behind you. Our bodies melt from the water’s heat as we position ourselves close to one another. We kiss and caress and touch everywhere. Our hands keep moving around, pleasing every surface they come in contact with.
I reach over to my bag, which is lying on the side of the hot tub. I grab an adjustable silver cock ring and slide it over my cock and balls, then tighten it so that it is firmly in place. I stop kissing you for a moment and show you what I’ve brought. You smile, lean in, and give me a little blowjob, twirling your tongue around the head.
Then I slide down under the water and guide my turgid prick slowly into your wet pussy. The way your slick walls grip me, I feel like I want to stay there forever. I move you so that you’re straddling me, and our pelvises grind with each thrust. And each thrust pushes me deeper inside you. As you continue to ride me, we make out as the top of my cock ring rubs against your protruding clit.
We’re moving all over in the hot tub, both of us at the point where we’re going to come. We’re at the small wall that separates the hot tub from the pool. At this crucial moment, we slide over the wall and our bodies are shocked with the pool’s cold water. Every inch of us is quivering and shaking, and our bodies are pulsing from orgasm–so much so that the cock ring pops completely off!
We’re both lying floating on our backs. I grab your hand and pull you over to me. I roll you on top, and we both come to a standing position. I kiss you, but this time it’s slow and sensual, soft and seductive.
I stare into your eyes. Finally able to pull my lips away, I say, “I don’t think anything in the world could satisfy me the way you do. You’re the reason this day was so wonderful.
“I wish I could wake up each morning to your beautiful face and drift off to sleep each night with my body held close to yours. I want to make wishes on the stars that shine through
your eyes, and I want to fulfill all of your dreams.”
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Exacting Diagnosis
|
Posted:Jan 12, 2009 4:21 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2009 3:50 am
3829 Views
|
A woman is very distraught over the fact that she has not had a date or any sex for over five years. She is afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decides to seek the medical expertise of the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang says, "Okay, take off all your crose."
The woman does as she is told.
“Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."
Again, the woman does as she is instructed. Dr. Chang then says, "Okay, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
As she does, Dr. Chang shakes his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
The woman asks anxiously, "Oh my god, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
Dr. Chang sighs deeply and replies, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.”
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Taking Things Into My Own Hands
|
Posted:Jan 7, 2009 4:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2009 3:50 am
4546 Views
|
As I’m sitting here staring at you, I’m wondering what makes this beautiful, intelligent, and sensual woman the object of my affection, love, or whatever you want to call it. My desire? Or is it just simply lust? What makes me lust for a woman I know will never give me a second look? A woman who I know will never get involved with someone she barely knows and is also much older than she?
I see you at the market down the block where you shop almost every day. I have the schedule down pat. Of course I don’t know what you buy. That would make it seem like I’m just a stalker, which I’m not. I’m just someone without the balls to go up to someone I feel is a very attractive woman I want to get to know but just can’t—until today, when everything changes.
It seems like any other day. I’m not feeling well, at least not well enough to go to work. So I decide just to stay in bed, relax, and lounge around my apartment, which is very comfortable for me. Not too big, not too small, but just enough space for the things I have, which are basically minimal but enough for me.
I roll out of bed around 11 and hop in the shower. I stand there for a few minutes letting the hot water hit my body, feeling everything getting wet. As I stand there with my head under the shower head, I open my eyes, fixing my gaze on my dick, which by this time in the morning I would have already taken care of. I did have morning wood, but I really didn’t feel up to it when I woke up.
Now that I’m in the shower with a hard-on, I’m craving to come. I grab the soap, getting a nice lather on my hands before I start to lather up my body. Passing the soap over my stomach, reaching my pubic area, I keep lathering that up for a good while before gripping my hard-on with my right hand, still holding the soap with the other. I wrap my hand around the base, feeling it get harder as I grip it more firmly. I slowly pull my balls, feeling them roll around in their sac.
I close my eyes under the water and imagine it’s you who has my dick and balls in your fine, delicate hands, examining every inch of my crotch with your fingertips, feeling every vein fill up with blood, and making my dick even harder. I imagine you on your knees, like I’ve imagined many times before. I imagine you examining my dick with your beautiful eyes that I’ve stared at for so long.
The anticipation of having my dick licked and sucked by you makes it twitch under “your” grip. Which I could tell is making you happy to see me so excited under your touch. You gently give my dick long, slow strokes from the base all the way to the tip, spreading precome all over it, making it sticky and wet. Feeling your other hand pull on my balls just gives my dick more of a reason to twitch. Pulling your hair back, making sure it doesn’t get in the way of your gaze at my dick, you look up at me and give me the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
“Do you want me to suck you, lover?” you say, the words trailing as you give my dick a long, wet lick starting from the base. Your wet tongue sends shivers all over me. Reaching the tip of my hard dick, you give it a nice, wet, sloppy kiss, sucking off whatever precome is there. Your lips are wrapped around my dickhead, sucking so hard that I grab your head, taking your hair in my hands.
I feel your tongue exploring every inch of my dick. Sliding inside your mouth is an awesome sensation that almost makes me come right then and there. The only sound I can hear is the slurping of your sucking with unbridled enthusiasm.
There are times when I feel like I’m going to burst in your mouth. But when I’m close, you grip the base and squeeze it tight, preventing me from coming and keeping me hard at the same time. You’re sucking and licking almost like you’re worshiping my dick, while your hands are busy with my balls and stroking my shaft.
Every second of the magnificent blowjob you’re giving me is amazing. All I can do is stare at your gorgeous eyes as you look at me, enjoying the attention you’re paying to my cock. I keep stroking it harder as I imagine your mouth on it sucking harder.
I can feel my skin start to prune up, given that I’ve been in the shower for quite a while. But I have to come. I must. I’m so close. As the sensation finally comes over me, I spray my come all over the shower wall. It’s an incredible relief emptying my balls. I imagine your mouth surrounding my dick and sucking up my come, stroking it for whatever is left inside.
After my orgasm subsides, I finish cleaning up, get out of the shower, and get dressed for a day that I know is going to be unlike any I’ve known. I’ve finally found my balls.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Zip!
|
Posted:Jan 5, 2009 10:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2009 3:55 pm
4097 Views
|
In a bustling city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman is waiting for the bus. She’s decked out in a tight leather miniskirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolls up and it’s her turn to get on, she becomes aware that her skirt is too tight to enable her leg to come up to the height of the first step. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reaches behind her and unzips her skirt a little thinking that this will give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tries to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still can’t.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reaches behind her and unzips her skirt a little more and for a second time attempts the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she cannot raise her leg because of the tightness of her skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzips the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again is unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan who is behind her in the line picks her up easily from the waist and places her lightly on the step of the bus.
The young woman goes ballistic and turns on the would-be hero, screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I’d agree with you. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (easylay3x) use [blog easylay3x] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
|
31
|
4
|
5
|
61
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
|
101
|
11
|
12
|
131
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
|
171
|
18
|
19
|
201
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
251
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
