You can have me, but you can't have my number.
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Posted:Jul 20, 2016 7:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2017 5:04 am
11776 Views
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Someone asked me for my phone number this morning after only one message back and forth. It seems to happen often. I prefer to not give my number out, though. I can't tell you how many times I have agreed to meet someone in public without having ever spoken to him on the phone first because I just didn't feel he was someone I wanted to feel tethered to. I'm sure that doesn't make any sense. I mean isn't it easier to talk on the phone than it is to physically meet someone? Well, it depends on how you look at it. Sometimes I meet these people and we the exchange numbers once we've met and it was a good situation, but sometimes I meet them and feel I really dodged a bullet. I've just learned over the years that it's easier sometimes to extricate oneself from a situation and disappear into the crowd than it is to politely get someone to stop calling and texting you so much. And once you give out your number, you've given someone access to your time and your privacy. Plus, I'm usually far too polite to tell people to get lost. I will very often continue to at least respond to texts occasionally, even once I have decided I'm not really interested in maintaining a correspondence. But sometimes even when I enjoy the communication, I find myself sorry I ever gave out my number. I have my phone on and with me nearly 24 hours a day. I use it to keep up with my . I use it for work, and I use it for business. And I do occasionally give it out to potential dates. And sometimes I have to say that it's not a bad thing when my phone doesn't ring. Of course, there are people I don't want to be without. You know the ones I mean. They are the ones who make you smile every time you hear from them. If your phone beeped, buzzed, chirped, or rang 93 times a day, it wouldn't be too much. But those people are precious and rare...and one needs to keep the line open for them as much as possible.
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9
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The Game(r)
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Posted:Jul 19, 2016 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2016 5:38 pm
11736 Views
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It's all just a game to you isn't it?
You tell me you want me
And then you disappear
No follow up
No follow through
Just a come on
Trying to string me along
But I have no time for playing
No desire for these trivial pursuits
If you really wanted me
If you really needed me
Then I'd keep you awake at night
Filled with longing
Tossing, turning
Reaching for that empty space beside you
Tortured by that pressing ache in your heart
You wouldn't say that you wanted me
And then roll over
And fall sleep
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0
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Monday thoughts.
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Posted:Jul 18, 2016 10:20 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2016 7:56 am
10854 Views
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So I just got blown off by a guy a few minutes ago. He wanted to meet me last week, only it wasn't a good day for me. I'm fairly certain he decided that I just wasn't interested and wanted to play games and waste time. That wasn't the case. I was busy. I guess he decided his time was more precious than mine. I guess he decided I should drop everything and run for him and when I didn't, I wasn't worth his time or serious enough. I got that impression then from something he said, but I figured I would text him today and say hello. And I did, and he responded. I asked him how he was, and he informed me he was fine. That was it. No follow up questions. No reciprocity on the pleasantries. That's fine. He's not interested. And I didn't talk to him long enough to become invested in him. But I hope someone somewhere along the way points out that he won't get very far with this attitude. Guys, if you are interested in a woman, no one ever said you had to chase her forever, but it doesn't mean she isn't interested if she doesn't drop everything and run when you call her. I'm neither lonely nor desperate. I don't have dates every day of the week, but I'm not alone all the time either. Some guy giving me the cold shoulder isn't going to break my heart. But from what he told me, he was new at this. There are going to be plenty of women in his future who aren't going to be at his beck and call, and I imagine he will spend many lonely and bitter nights and weekends wondering why his phone isn't perpetually blowing up for all the times he gives his number out.
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2
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I stand before you
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Posted:Jul 14, 2016 8:13 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2016 7:59 am
9977 Views
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Night after night I stand before you
Feeling this pressure to perform
To succeed
To tell the story
To hit all those high notes
Getting those intended feelings just right
Showing emotions
On command
Unwavering
Whether the audience is one
Or one million
Knowing the expectations
Knowing my reputation is on the line
I stand here
In my costume
But still naked
Filled with fear
And desire
To reach my goals
To gain respect
So that tomorrow
I can stand here
And do it all again
So, this is a good piece to use for what I'm about to say. I haven't written much lately that would be FriendFinder-x blogworthy. I'm too busy being frustrated with a lot of what is going on in the political world. As a writer, I cannot apologize for writing something other than what is expected of me. (Good) writing is good writing, regardless of the topic. But I will say that I recognize some of my followers might be a tad disappointed with me for neglecting them. I can feel bad for that.
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2
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My Blue Toyota
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Posted:Jul 13, 2016 8:22 am
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2016 10:58 pm
7791 Views
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You don't know what my car looks like
Though it's parked in your driveway sometimes
You never ask any questions about my day
for fear I might actually answer
We are like lovers when I come into your room
when you pull me close and hold me for a while
There are no parting words as I get up to leave
we are strangers when I drive away again
in the car you've never seen
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3
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The gift that keeps on giving
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Posted:Jul 11, 2016 10:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2016 5:11 pm
8196 Views
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She told him it would be like nothing he'd ever felt before
But he didn't believe her
Until he kept finding himself coming back for more
He kept thinking that the next time it wouldn't be Like that again
That sooner or later the well would run dry
But he found it to be quite the opposite
His surprise would show all over his face
And his eyes would grow so wide
And as he'd lose control
He'd ask her how she could stay like that
How it could always be so inviting
She just smiled and said "you're welcome."
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4
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Missing People (one of my favorites)
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Posted:Jul 9, 2016 6:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2016 7:13 am
7846 Views
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There are people we see
that we never get the chance to speak to
Because we are too shy
Or they are standing too far away to hear us
Or we turn our heads once and they are gone
Sometimes there are opportunities
For second or third glances
But none for a second chance
So we go through our days, our weeks,
Our months, and sometimes our entire lives
With an empty space in our hearts
We think about these people
We wonder who they are
Where they came from
and to where they disappeared
And though we don't know them
we relate to them on many different levels
somehow strategically placing them within our day-to-day events
We know there was a reason for their passing through our lives
And we know that if we should perchance
See them again
Then it was meant to be
And if not, we carry on looking for people
To fill those voids that others, often unknowingly, leave behind.
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1
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You could at least have tried
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Posted:Jul 7, 2016 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2016 10:13 am
9627 Views
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I have met up with a couple of guys recently for coffee or a walk in the park, and these meetings didn't result in sex. There was a time when I would get propositioned as quickly as I could flash a smile, but I have not even received an offer at all lately. Truth be told, I'm happy about that in a lot of ways. I've had a hard time saying no in the past, even when I wasn't attracted to the guy in the least. I lacked the strength or the self esteem to say thanks, but no thanks; I'm just not interested. But I'm capable of refusing people now. And maybe my vibe is just different now, too. I have more self esteem. I have the ability to be polite and friendly and even flirty while still maintaining boundaries, so maybe I don't come off as easy. I have the wherewithal now to be able to think someone's cute or nice or funny without thinking I should have meaningless sex with him. I even have the self respect to walk away from someone who doesn't appeal to me at all. Nevertheless, I still feel a little let down that I'm not being propositioned for sex by every man I meet. Maybe I don't want you, but I still want you to want me. No, dude, I didn't want to go home with you, but it would have been nice for you to offer! Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners?  (Just kidding.) And then again, maybe my self esteem isn't quite where it should be. Maybe I shouldn't brag about how tough I am or how far I've come. Because I do find myself sitting here, wondering what is so undesirable about me. What is so wrong with me that no one seems to want to take me home?
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4
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Live and let live
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Posted:Jul 7, 2016 7:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2016 2:44 pm
8991 Views
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I must be having an attack of hormones today. I keep having my feelings hurt by things that aren't really my concern. I noticed that someone unfriended me on Facebook. Though I'm not surprised that I'm unfriended occasionally, especially since I am unapologetically outspoken about things that matter to me, I was a bit surprised to have been unfriended by someone I thought was often on the same page. So, I asked her about it. But in the meantime, I realize it's no matter. You do you, chick. You do you. Today, I came home from work and prepared to go swimming. My has class today, so I told her that there was was a pizza in the freezer if she wanted it. She immediately said she can't eat pizza because she gave up unhealthy food. It hurt my feelings. Why? Maybe for all the years I gave up things I considered unhealthy, even though it was my thought processes that were unhealthy. Nevertheless, it's no matter. You do you, chick. You do you. Hey, peeps, live and let live. Even if you don't agree with their commentary, their food choices, their behavior on the streets, or their behavior in their own bedrooms, just live and let live. It's not your business to control them, deny them, ridicule them, or kill them.
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2
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A woman of substance (a Facebook memory, so why not share?)
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Posted:Jul 6, 2016 5:55 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2016 8:13 am
9167 Views
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I don't have to tell you
I'm a woman of substance
Beauty, yes
But brains, too
These eyes do more than shine
They see, they watch
They read, they recognize
I'm a woman of substance
In addition to being a woman of the flesh
I'm more than my body
Arouse my senses and not just my sexuality
Talk to my heart
Find my true inner being
She is in there
I'm a woman of substance
Blood, sweat,tears
The weight of the world
Rests on my shoulders
I've heard the terrors
Seen the horrors that man can cause
To his fellow man
I'm a sexual being
A sensual being
A feminine being
An intellectual being
If you want to speak to me
Speak to my entire being
You know who I am
You've seen me move
You've followed my actions
I shouldn't have to tell you
I am a woman of substance
You should already know
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1
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Be a gentleman, get your nipples pinched. It makes sense, right?
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Posted:Jul 5, 2016 9:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2019 7:36 am
9275 Views
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I'm sitting in a parking lot, waiting for the rain to stop or at least slow down. There's a guy in an SUV next to me. He's waiting, too. Suddenly, he jumps out of his vehicle and races to the passenger side. His companion is coming out of a store, and he wants to open her door. She doesn't appear to be expecting it or demanding it. In fact, it appears that had he been a few seconds later, she would have been in her seat without the benefit of his assistance. I look at his hand on his way back to his car door. Is there a ring? Are they an old married couple, and he's a long term gentleman? Or are they a new couple, and he's just trying trying to impress her. The fact that she isn't expecting this behavior from him leads me to believe it isn't a typical occurrence in her life. Nevertheless, I thought it was a sweet gesture. I like seeing men behave like gentleman. I like a guy who walks me to my destination even if he isn't joining me inside. I like a guy who opens doors for me, though I'm just as inclined to open a door for him. If I get there first, I'm going to reach out and open the door. Why stand there, staring at the door when I can open it myself? The truth is that gentlemanly behavior is a joy to behold. It makes my heart smile. However, I'm exceptionally awkward when someone tries to do something chivalrous for me. I'm likely to reach for the door first and open it into his forehead. I'm likely to reach for the door and elbow him in the midsection. I'm really likely to stand there, catch him staring down adoringly at me and my cuteness as he's opening the door for me (happens all the time), get flustered, and stomp on his foot or twist his nipple just to get the attention off of me. Some people argue that chivalry is dead. I don't believe that is the case. I think more often than not it just requires a little bit of understanding and communication between the parties involved. I also think it is necessary in today's world in which people have such varied experiences that we understand where each person is coming from in order to meet another's expectations while staying inside one's own comfort zone. I think a woman who is shy and/or awkward is less likely to be comfortable with gentlemanly behavior. It certainly isn't that she can't appreciate a man for his kindnesses; she simply doesn't like being the center of attention. I think a woman who is used to being alone has a difficult time receiving help from a gentleman. It isn't so much that she doesn't want kindness being shown to her; it's simply that she's unused to it. Besides, if she's carrying three grocery bags, and you go to take two of them, she will likely drop the third in the readjustment process. It would have been easier to adapt to someone burdening her with a fourth bag than to have her relinquish two she was already carrying. It is only in understanding another's thought processes and history that we find acceptance in their behaviors. As for me, I'm shy, terribly awkward, and I'm used to carrying my own bags. So, if you unburden me by taking my bags out of my arms, what else will I have to do with myself and my hands, especially, besides pinch your nipples?
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6
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Sexual calisthenics
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Posted:Jul 3, 2016 7:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2016 1:45 pm
9238 Views
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It takes some really big nuts to invite another woman into your home and your bed in the middle of the day. That's what I kept thinking as I drove to your house. That's what I said out loud as I pushed you down in the middle of the bed and climbed on top of your already naked body. You were hungry. It was like you hadn't been held in a while and wanted to make up for lost time. It's actually difficult to replay and recount all the events that took place in that hour or so. It became an act of sexual calisthenics. I haven't been thrown around the bed like that in quite some time. I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed that moment when you were on top of me, pumping away, my legs in the air, your hands gripping my ass, when suddenly, you swung your legs wide, flew backwards, pulled me on top of you, and we never missed a beat. I was amused and aroused all at the same time. And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of our session. Maybe that's how you like your sex. Maybe you were trying to impress me; maybe you felt you had something to prove since your wife was no longer putting out. I don't know. I didn't mind. I got off several times. I got my tits sucked and pulled and twisted and even clamped. I got fucked good and hard until my pussy was sore and seemingly gaping, even though you mentioned more than once how tight and good and wet and warm it felt. What I didn't receive were kisses. I kind of missed those. I always get off better when I'm being kissed. My heart pounds a little harder; my body spasms a little more. But there were no kisses. There was no tongue action...well, until I am reminded of how you got off in the end. Your cock in my mouth, all but face fucking me as excitement overcame you. My lips and tongue struggling to keep up as you thrusted in and out, your body strewn across mine, your fingers fucking me, striving to please me one last time to help with your own big finish. And when you came it was like it went on forever. Your salty seed filling my mouth, forcing me to swallow more than once. I don't know that I will come back again. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but something seemed to be missing from the whole event. The lack of sensuality made me feel like my presence was neither appreciated not required. Then again, maybe I will come back sometime just for the workout aspect alone. Whether my pussy was still tight at the end was questionable. I know for a fact that my abs definitely were.
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9
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I have been changed for the better
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Posted:Jul 2, 2016 9:49 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2016 2:09 pm
8730 Views
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I don't feel like calling Mike tonight. He asked me to call him after the show was over, but I don't want to. I honestly would have liked to hang out with you. I wanted to walk aimlessly through the city. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to write a story about this night, and even if only for a moment this story should include you. Maybe I was looking forward to my next fun story. Maybe I expected that you would have some expectation of something in exchange for your kindness. After all, no one has ever done anything just to be kind to me before, and we did meet on a sex site. You even asked me if I wrote about things that really happened or if I used my imagination. I told you it was a secret, but the truth will be abundantly obvious after this. I could have written about getting lost in your eyes for hours. I could have written about watching your easy going smile disappear from your face as passion overtook you. I could have even written about what it felt like to lie next to you, exploring your body for the first time, touching and teasing long into the night. I suppose I could even write about what it felt like when I straddled you; your hard cock filling my excited pussy. But none of that happened, and even though I can imagine it, I have no reason to allow it to consume my thoughts or become part of the story. The reality is that I'm just not pretty enough these days to capture anyone's attention. I've seen myself in the mirror lately, and I know that even in my recovery, my eating disorder has destroyed my body. I know that even in my recovery, no, because of my recovery, the weight isn't coming off as quickly as I'd like, as quickly as I know it can. So you extended the kindness of the ticket to the show, walked with me to the main doors,talked with me for a few minutes, gave me a glimpse of the gentleman you can be, and then walked away, leaving me with no delusion that we'd meet back up again after the curtain came down. And I don't blame you at all. Still, there were some positives to come from the night. I received and accepted a kindness without having to sell myself in return, recognizing my worth as a human being. I allowed myself to leave the house, even when I didn't feel like it. I enjoyed a show I couldn't have purchased a ticket for on my own. I enjoyed an evening out instead of hiding at home. I am in recovery, even if it is slow going. I will get where I want to be. And after the show was over, I got my walk through the city after all. But only because I walked out through the wrong doors and had to walk all the way around the Civic Center to get to my car.
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To link to this blog (gymrat1974) use [blog gymrat1974] in your messages.
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