Cock worship
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Posted:May 5, 2016 2:18 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2016 11:24 pm
5784 Views
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You have the prettiest cock I've ever seen
I never got it before
But now I know what worship means
I want to kneel before your raised cock
And pay my respects to its beauty
It's a sight to behold
I would hum praises
Giving honor and glory to your manhood
Should I ever have a moment
With you and the work of art between your legs
You, the owner of the most beautiful cock ever created
Would feel the heavens and the earth move
Representative of my everlasting adoration
And desire I have for you
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7
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Getting to know...me?
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Posted:May 4, 2016 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2016 10:43 am
4805 Views
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I'm very good at knowing what an answer is supposed to be. I'm not going to lie to you. Sometimes the answer I give and the answer I feel are two different answers. Sometimes the life I live and the life I want to live are two different lives. Just FYI.
Sometimes they converge and sometimes they diverge. And no one but me knows the difference. Sometimes even I don't know the difference. I'm as surprised as everyone else by my feelings...assuming they can ever be pinpointed...even fleetingly.
I suppose that is why I would make a decent sub even though I am not.
At least not beyond playing.
I have spent my entire life being the square peg fitting into a round hole. I've had lots of practice. And it's not necessarily negative. In Fact it's not negative at all. And it wasn't intended to be taken as such.
I know how to be pleasing to others far more so than to be pleasing to myself.
Also, suppose I were to do something as ill advised as catching feelings for someone with whom I am spending time who either doesn't share those feelings or absolutely is against those type of feelings. I am quite capable of keeping those feelings hidden, so that I can continue to spend time with that person. it might be deceitful, but it isn't hurting anyone but me. The only other thing I know to do is to continue to spend time with that person but still spend time with others. Of course one just makes me a little bit deceitful as I said and the other has the potential to make me a .
Except for the fact that I can pretend not to like people when I really do, I am an exceedingly honest person. I will always tell the truth to the best of my ability. I will just be telling the truth as I see it in that minute. Would I be admitting to all these things, risking your scrutiny, if I were naturally dishonest?
And as for pretending not to like people when I really do, how is it any different from pretending to like people when you really don't? People do this all the time. Whether it's work related, for financial reasons, or to keep the peace among friends and family, people pretend stuff like this all the time.
You might ask why I would pretend such a thing. Why don't I just go out and find someone who will actually reciprocate my feelings. The truth is that I don't go looking for this scenario to happen. It just seems to be the case. I spend time with people, and I start to like them. It's not my fault that they never return the feelings. I guess I could go live in a bubble and never allow myself to ever get close to anyone. I get criticized for that as well. I can't win for losing. And besides, how can anyone like me for me? Who the hell am I?
Trust me! I'm as confused and as worn out by myself as you are. Just when I think I've figured myself out, some new thought crosses my mind.
I really should have created this as a list. That way I could add to it as the days go by. You will see the randomness of my thoughts and the contradictions that lie within me.
I can't say how much I come alive when in a relationship because I have never been in a healthy one, but I definitely come alive when I flirt. I become vibrant and happy and free. I can feel my own glow.
People say I have the right to change my mind about things. But I'm a mess. It isn't so much that I change my mind; it is the fact that my mind never settles on anything long enough to ever truly be made up.
People say I'm interesting. I don't see it. To me, I'm shallow, and I've been chasing depth my entire life. It's part and parcel of losing myself every time I get involved with someone. How can I possibility be interested when there is no me? When I've never experienced life?
I have a dread fear of being found out, of being discovered as an imposter, so I confess my flaws the way the religious confess their sins. I'd rather you know the truth and forgive me than to find out on your own and condemn me. So I will humbly sit at your knee, and share the worst of myself, hoping my best could be good enough to make a difference.
Sometimes it seems like I am prone to changing my mind. I don't think I change my mind so much as I am not always making making conscientious decisions about things.
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7
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Your actual woman
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Posted:May 4, 2016 11:34 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2016 12:36 pm
4665 Views
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You want to manhandle me
No, I get it
I really do
You want to make my cheeks red
My pussy sore
My throat your playground
You want to own me
Make me beg
Instead of just giving it to me
It's all been done before
I wonder what would happen
If you tried another route
If you came at me with gentle hands
And finger tips
With words of love
With back rubs
And sweet kisses
You'd still own me
You would
You'd still rule the world
My body would still belong to you
But instead of just being your baby girl
I'd be your actual woman
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4
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But it was his fantasy
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Posted:May 4, 2016 4:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 6:47 am
4931 Views
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But it was his fantasy
Fantasies are great, often leading to excitement and passion and both emotional and physical stimulation. I imagine everyone has had at least one fantasy in his lifetime. I also imagine many people never have the opportunity to act them out. I recently had the opportunity to participate in someone's fantasy. He works overnight as a security guard at a country club and wanted to have sex in a few different locations at the club. I admit I had my reservations from the beginning. I didn't know the guy very well, and he wanted me to show up someplace after hours where no one would know where I was. Wouldn't that make it easier for him to kill me and get away with it? If no one saw me arrive, then he could do anything he pleased with me, kill me, and then hide my body and car somewhere before anyone started showing up at the club the next day. I watch the Investigation Discovery channel. I know what happens out there! And I even told him so. If killing someone is also part of your fantasy, you picked the wrong one. People know where I went tonight. You won't get away with it. How's that for romance and sexy talk? But nothing like that happened. I'm here to tell the story. And there really isn't much to tell. I received a tour of the inside of the facility. I learned where all the cameras were and he showed me all the places he wanted to use for his personal pleasures.
I knew I would likely write about the events, should I live to tell the tale. I was originally going to call the story "Using The Amenities" or "Enjoying The Amenities." In the end, I think it's best to just call it "But It Was His Fantasy" because while fantasies are great, they often never turn out like people plan, and you also wind up finding yourself dealing with a dose of reality to go along with someone else's fantasy.
I arrive at the club and he walks out to meet me. He leads me around to the back of the building, pointing out where the cameras are, and all the places we need to avoid. We go by the pool. Though it's a cool night, I have an incredible urge to dive into its serene water. He leads me through the building, showing me all the places he pictures us having sex. There is a workout room with a physical therapy table or two. There is a lounge with the bar. And there is a massage table down in the men's locker room. We settle on the massage table. I have a feeling he somehow wanted to say fuck you to all the wealthy men who use that table to alleviate their rich man elitist bullshit stress. He kisses me as we lean up against the table; nice lips and nice kisses. And then he peels back my sundress. At his request, I am wearing this dress with no bra or panties underneath. My breasts exposed, his excitement builds and he lays me down on the table and begins to explore the rest of my body. Finally, he joins me on the table. He enters me and our bodies find a comfortable rhythm. But a massage table is delicate. It's not necessarily meant for two grown bodies. He asks me if I would like to change positions, and I take over from there and somehow, somehow I feel myself getting off after thinking that it would not happen for me. My excitement releases his excitement and he comes the instant that I finish. I lift myself off of him and look down and discover there is no longer a condom in place. It was there when I climbed on top of him, but I guess it fell off or came off when I climbed off of him. A mild panic takes place. So much for safety. So much for taking precautions. So much for making the effort to have a stress-free good time. It would appear that the condom had been in place and did it's job since its contents seem to have transferred from the condom to his thigh. And conceivably no bodily fluids exchanged place or mingled inside me. Nevertheless, the fantasy loses its excitement for those two other places will no longer be necessary. We dress and retrace our steps out of the building and toward my waiting car. And as we walk by the pool, I catch myself thinking for the second time that night that it would've been exciting enough for me to strip off my clothes and dive in to the crystal clear water within.
Oh, it was fun, and I got off, which at least says the sex wasn't lousy, but there was no heat or passion or standout moments that would make me want to go back again. But it was his fantasy after all, and maybe he sees it from a completely different perspective.
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Coffee Dates, Booty Calls, And Stop Ins (Aka dating in the new millennium)
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Posted:May 3, 2016 12:56 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2016 11:10 pm
4849 Views
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I scored a free cup of coffee from Panera this morning, and as I bragged about it to someone this morning, who informed me he didn't share my love of coffee, I was reminded of this poem I wrote several years ago. As I recall, it turned into 17 orgasms in one night. Coffee? Hell, yeah!
Dating in the new millennium
Things have certainly changed
You meet in a public place for coffee
Instead of being picked up at your door
By the way, have you ever noticed
What an incredible stimulant coffee can be?
I don't need any help in the aphrodisiac department
But to have seven orgasms in less than fifteen minutes...
I'll take more dark roast coffee please.
So you sit with your date at the restaurant
Till the server wants to explode
You keep others from having the table
But for two cups of coffee with free refills
The tip isn't going to amount to very much
And while you feel slightly guilty,
You have no intention of eating anything.
After your date is finished
You don't feel like going home
High as a kite from all the coffee you just ingested
A marathon may even be in order
If your date was a hottie
You may have to go home with him or her
If not, you run through your phone book
And see who else may be around
Thank goodness for "your friend"; if you have one you understand
Because when no one else is available
He's always there to offer assistance
It's very comforting to have a friend of your own
Someone you can rely on in your time of need
The alternative, of course, is to go home alone
Or worse, with the coffee companion that you would rather
Forget ever meeting and hope no one you knew saw you out with
By the time you reach your destination
You are so ready to jump someone's bones
Your clothes are coming off as you walk through the door
And you say, "Oh, by the way, hello"
You race him to the bedroom;
You know which way to go
This is your third coffee date this month
And they've all seemed to turn out this way
It's a comfortable environment
At least you can say you're friends
You don't have to worry about making pseudo plans for the future
That you will eventually have to get out of
You simply get dressed and go on your way
By this time, you are starting to get tired
You are pretty much ready for the evening to end
But while you were getting all hot and sweaty
You could hear your phone ringing
From your pants pocket thrown on the floor in the hallway
And you make it a point to check to see who called
As you drive away from your friend's house
You return this phone call
A person you haven't seen in a long time
Wants you to stop by
To say hello and maybe hug his neck
You make the mistake of telling him where you are
And it turns out that you are only a few minutes
From his front door
"How about tomorrow," you reply with a dramatic yawn
But he doesn't take the hint
So you find yourself stopping in
To see someone you would rather leave behind
It becomes one of the quickest hello goodbyes in history
You don't even sit down
Lest he should try to kiss you or something
You make your entrance and your exit
All in one breath it seems
And as you drive away
You wonder to yourself
What the hell happened
To evenings at the movies
Or dinner, dancing, and a nightcap
You know, the dates you see playing out on the television
On the nights you stay at home
So peaceful, so quiet
So less costly on your gas tank
Since gas is nearly three dollars a gallon
Ah, dating in the new millennium
Thank goodness for coffee
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8
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Relationship woes
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Posted:May 3, 2016 10:42 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2016 2:09 pm
4519 Views
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Just random thought or thoughts for the day.
I don't have a problem with being vulnerable and sharing myself completely with another. What I do have a problem with is the fact that I always seem to lose myself entirely to another person. I don't seem to know myself and what I want and what I need well enough even at this stage of my life to know how to maintain me while cultivating an us. And even I know that that the worst thing you can do in a relationship is to lose yourself entirely to where you are no longer taking up your own space. I don't know. Maybe I have just never been with anyone who cared enough about me to see me continue to be my own person. But I always seem to be the forgotten one. I'm funny! I'm adorably precocious and quick witted, and these things fall by the wayside as soon as I get involved. So isn't it easier to just not?
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4
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I prefer the darkness
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Posted:May 2, 2016 7:43 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2016 1:44 am
4541 Views
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This showed up as a memory on my Facebook page today. This seems to be a recurrent theme.
I only make love in the dark
Not so my lover can't see me
But so he can't see inside me
My mind, my heart, my soul laid bare
That's just too much to handle
I never discuss personal matters with people I care about
It's easier to speak with strangers
Than to share something with someone I love
I can't sing in front of an audience
Write my feelings on paper
Or express my innermost thoughts
I don't mind people staring
Just as long as they don't recognize me
Just as long as they can't see
The true person buried deep within me
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3
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The Final Final Farewell
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Posted:May 1, 2016 7:05 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2016 11:14 pm
4830 Views
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Yesterday, a new acquaintance suggested I inform a love interest of exactly how I feel for him. He felt that I owed it to myself to tell him. I had already done so in so many words, but never quite so directly as I finally did yesterday. I told him that I had always had feelings for him, and that I always wanted us to be more than friends. I told him that things seemed to ebb and flow but that my heart had been with him for a very long time. And then believe it or not, I didn't wait for a response. It wasn't necessary. You see, whether I had ever spoken to him so directly before or not, my feelings for him were no secret. And what was also no secret was that he clearly didn't feel the same for me. The message to him was merely a formality. It was the opportunity for him to do something about it if he were so inclined. But I have already moved on. It was either that or I allow his nonchalance to completely destroy me. After I wrote to him, I turned the lines into a poem, and I called it Swan Song. I decided it was fitting. I know he has never loved me the way I loved him, so my message to him was the final scene before I walked away from him forever. And when he finally responded late last night, he messaged me back with a smiley face and an ellipsis, suggesting he had something else he wanted to say. If only he had said it sooner.
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1
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You never wanted me before now
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Posted:May 1, 2016 6:25 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2016 11:18 am
4498 Views
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It's funny how you never wanted me
You never looked at me with loving eyes
You never saw the beauty or the light
I was just your friend
Your occasional plaything
But you never loved me
Not the way that I loved you
You never said nice things
You never sought my company
When I was away
But now you see me through the eyes of another
Suddenly you miss me
Suddenly you see the beauty
You never noticed before
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5
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One Final Performance
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Posted:May 1, 2016 12:21 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2016 2:17 pm
4306 Views
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The performance is over
The encores and accolades received
She sits alone in her dressing room
And stares wistfully in the mirror
She wipes the makeup from her face
And reminds herself this is to be her last show
The time has come to give her final bow
And fade gracefully into the night
Just as the stars lose their luster
So has she
Her voice is not as powerful as it once was
Her eyes don't shine as brightly
And she is tired
Tired of pretending
Tired of covering her ever increasing flaws
Tired of watching the once crowded audience
Become more of an intimate gathering
Of people who come for a bit of nostalgia
So tonight is her last performance
Her last night
She will finish this nightly ritual
One that takes longer and longer
With each day that passes
She will go home to her empty room
Turn out the lights
Drink her glass of wine
prepared and waiting on her bedside table
And drift off into a peaceful sleep.
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0
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What does everyone see
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Posted:May 1, 2016 9:01 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 6:20 pm
4492 Views
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I wish I could see what others see
When they look at me
I wish I knew what others saw
When they looked in their own mirrors
I wish I knew what others looked like
Without the makeup
Before they prepare to greet the day
I wish I could know
Where I truly stand in this world
Among the beautiful women out there
I wish I could see myself
As worthy
As someone deserving of love
And compliments
As someone equal to all the rest
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4
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One Less Friend on FriendFinder-x.
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Posted:Apr 30, 2016 3:53 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 5:23 am
4826 Views
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I've been Instant messaging back and forth with this guy over the last week or so. So, we finally get into a bit of a conversation about likes and dislikes, in general and sexually. I tell him that I'm not into anal. And he responds with, "Well, I'm not gay anyway." I will not be speaking with him again. I mean, I'm not the great defender of all things anal sex. It's not my cup of tea anyway. But it was just the way he said it. He was preachy and judgmental, and I could just see him trying to get me to go to his church with him before long because clearly my spiritual being needed some salvation. Lots of people are into anal sex. Men and women alike have a penchant for it. It doesn't make one gay. It doesn't make one dirty. It doesn't make one deviant. We all have preferences and likes and dislikes. And may I remind you, buddy, that you are on an adult dating site. So, what gives you the right to judge anyone else for his sexual proclivities?
And why shout you're not gay like that anyway? Did I question your sexuality? Nope. I'm a woman. And you're a guy on an adult dating site. It's highly conceivable that anal sex could be on your bucket list if not already in your repertoire. And it wouldn't make you gay if you and I played like that.
I think his comment is an element of the greater problem in the world. Many of us are quick to judge what we do not understand. We are quick to hate and ridicule and call out. Buddy, if you were gay, you and I wouldn't likely be having these conversations in the first place. So, I wasn't even thinking for a second that you were.
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4
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Swan Song
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Posted:Apr 30, 2016 9:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2016 7:00 pm
4161 Views
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I always figured you knew.
I'm sure you knew.
But maybe you didn't.
I always wanted us to be more than just friends.
There have been rises and falls
and ebbs and flows,
but my heart has been with you for all these years.
I've loved you far beyond friendship.
I always hoped our day would come.
I just wanted you to know
in case you didn't
that I love you.
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To link to this blog (gymrat1974) use [blog gymrat1974] in your messages.
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