Broken hearts do heal
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Posted:Feb 25, 2019 1:31 pm
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2019 12:48 pm
10183 Views
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Every day gets easier
The loneliness subsides a bit more
The anticipation of hearing from you becomes less pronounced
You’re gone
And I understand
you’re not coming back
Each day I lean on memories less and less
I feel stronger than the day before
The pain I feel in chest becomes more of a dull ache
The world continues
Life goes on
And one day soon
I will be able to let you go
One day soon,
I will think of you and smile
One day soon,
I might not think of you at all.
For A
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Less is not always more
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Posted:Feb 21, 2019 8:24 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2019 5:23 pm
10351 Views
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It’s another sleepless night for me. I seem to have several of them a month. If I weren’t alone, I’d make the best of it. But I am alone, so it just means time to think things I don’t care to think about in my waking hours much less when I’d rather be asleep. People, don’t let things go. If you have feelings to share, share them. Share your emotions, joys, sadness. Share your love. Don’t let your ego or pride get in the way. Don’t wait until it’s too late to make a change or for places where changes could be made. Speak up. If you want something, go for it. Don’t wait for someone to ask what you want. Just come right out and say it. I need to add more to this train of thought. But I also need to try to sleep. There’s always tomorrow...I hope. ❤️💔❤️
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I don’t want it to be over...I don’t want it to end
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Posted:Feb 15, 2019 7:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2019 10:20 am
9153 Views
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I guess it’s over
But it was never really a thing in the first place
No definition
No boundaries
No declarations
It was just a moment that led to more moments
That became moments
Of unexpected pleasure
And now it’s over,
But it can’t really be over
Because it never really existed at all
Still somehow it’s hard to move on
From something that
Had no name
But still took up so much time and attention
And led to moments that led to moments of unexpected pleasure I never wanted to end
For A
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My Favorite Things
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Posted:Feb 13, 2019 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2019 9:52 am
9650 Views
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My favorite things
Those nights I’m lying close to you
Close enough to feel your heat
Those afternoons filled with laughter and play
When you manhandle me just enough to let me know I belong to you
Those whispers in the darkness just before we drift off to sleep
Those moments, any moments, shared with you
Sometimes they seem so few and far between
Sometimes I feel I have to remind you that I exist
When I’m all but forgotten
When you’re all but absorbed in the next day’s work
And I wait for you to call me
And I’m sustained by all of my favorite things
and how I feel when I’m sharing moments,
any moments, alone with you.
For A
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It doesn’t help. ( I will get over it)
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Posted:Feb 11, 2019 4:33 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2019 1:20 pm
9154 Views
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I can sit here and think of all the reasons we fell apart
All the things I could have done or said differently
All the times you looked at me and decided I wasn’t pretty enough
Or that I wasn’t thin enough
Or good enough
But it doesn’t help.
It just doesn’t help.
It doesn’t change anything
Tormenting myself doesn’t fix anything
The fact remains that you’re gone
There’s no point in dredging up the past
It’s better to just move on
To let go of what was
To recognize the fault and the blame
Even knowing I could have tried harder
But it wouldn’t be enough
For A
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Be here with me
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Posted:Feb 10, 2019 6:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2019 8:46 am
9014 Views
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Be present
Be here when you’re here with me
I don’t ask for much
My needs aren’t many
I just ask for you to be with me when you’re next to me
Don’t disappear inside your mind while your body remains beside me
Don’t be preoccupied or distracted
Don’t wonder what your phone is doing
Who’s calling, texting, messaging
When you’re away, your time is your own
I will never ask what you’re up to
But when you’re here, be here
Be here with me
Talk to me
Touch me
Hold me
Fill me
Love me
While you’re here.
For A
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Just Broken
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Posted:Feb 10, 2019 11:57 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2019 5:46 pm
8864 Views
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If I admit to the world I’m broken hearted
You’ll just think it’s because of you
You’ll take the credit for my pain
But the fact remains you’re only one tiny piece of the puzzle.
You’re the reminder I’ve been broken for years
I was broken when you found me
I let you in thinking you were different
You were my proof I was whole again
I looked at you and saw my growth
But I was wrong
I’m not ready after all
I’m still just the broken girl I’ve always been
And you were just the next boy to come along and take what this weary soul would allow.
Damn it, A
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There’s nothing suspicious about holding hands
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Posted:Feb 10, 2019 11:55 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2020 11:05 am
8436 Views
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I wish you could see the real me
I’m playful and funny and silly
I laugh at nonsense
And go out of way to make others laugh too
But then I can become awkward
The silly becomes strained
The laughter becomes tears
The funny becomes odd
And I try and try to control myself and there’s no explaining
And you always tell me it’s fine
It’s cool
You understand
But there is no understanding
I don’t want you to understand
I want you to listen
I want to break the cycle
I want you to know me
The one who giggles uncontrollably until everyone around me is giggling too
I want to be happy and carefree
I want to take your hand without thinking
And let you hold mine
And to understand
There’s no motive
You just want to hold my hand
What’s wrong with that?
There’s nothing, nothing in the world wrong with that
I want you to hold my hand
And I don’t want you to let it go.
But I know that I’ve scared you away
Chased you away
Walked away even myself because it’s easier than breaking walls and barriers
That come between me and you and laughter and joy
And holding hands late, late at night
A
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It’s not about the money, lol.
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Posted:Feb 9, 2019 11:43 pm
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2020 5:01 am
8402 Views
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I want to drain you of your riches
Deplete your wealth
Take your offerings
Drink them all in
These things won't last forever
But for as long as they exist
I claim them as mine
I don't want to share
I won't share
The world had its turn
The others took their portion
The rest is mine
And I'm a greedy being
Taking what I want
What I need
Returning again and again
To get my way
Sucking the life right out of you
Stealing it like a thief in the night
Only it isn't stealing
It's mine
It belongs to me
I claimed it long before
And I won't be letting it go
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The hardest part
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Posted:Feb 8, 2019 8:58 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2019 10:17 am
8691 Views
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This is always the hardest part
I know I make it look so easy
But still it hurts my soul
Leaving you
With so many questions left unanswered
Wondering if there’s a next time
If I’m ever coming back
Where do we go from here
It’s these early morning drives that make me suffer
When I should be smiling in the afterglow
When I should be wrapped warmly in your arms
Instead I hear the door click behind me
Get in my car and drive way
And though I’ve made it look so easy
It will always be the hardest part

For A
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I’m here with you.
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Posted:Jan 31, 2019 8:11 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2019 11:40 pm
8291 Views
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Lay down with me
Look in to my eyes
Stroke my body gently
Don’t feel the need to satisfy me quickly
I’m not going anywhere
There are places deep within me
No one has ever been
Seek them, find them, touch them
They will yield the greatest delight
And bring you your greatest reward
Do not fear
Or feel the need to hurry
I am here with you
Looking in to your eyes, connecting with your soul
Stroking your body gently
finally content
And I’m not going anywhere.
When A sends song lyrics and I respond with thoughts of my own.
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So now you know
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Posted:Jan 22, 2019 4:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2019 11:41 pm
8829 Views
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Why does one leave at a beautiful moment
Walking out the door when the sun has barely risen
When the sweat of the night before still glistens on her brow
Why would she leave before coffee
Before sweet kisses
And breakfast cooked by the man who shares her desire?
She leaves because she doesn’t know what else to do
She leaves because she is sure of herself in the nighttime
But much less self assured when the sun is high
She leaves before he can see her for who she truly is
She leaves before he has the chance to tell her to go.
For A.
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1
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I want more than just memories
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Posted:Jan 22, 2019 4:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2019 6:50 pm
8694 Views
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You show up in my memories
Comments & statements made in the past
You’ve been a consistent figurehead in my life
Though still somehow relegated to the fringes
I suppose you were always waiting for me to let you in
But I wasn’t ready
And there just wasn’t time enough for everything I needed to do
Much less figure out how to let you in
And now the tables have turned
I’ve noticed you; I see you
I’m aware of your every move
And I recognize that now I’m an interloper
I once had a place, held a place, belonged in a place that is no longer being saved for me.
For A.
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To link to this blog (gymrat1974) use [blog gymrat1974] in your messages.
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