Participants List For The Tenth Virtual Symposium: On “Slut”
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Posted:Jul 26, 2015 2:25 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2016 9:00 pm
67230 Views
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Welcome to the tenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic (On “Slut”) and agreed, on or about July 26, to post their interpretations of that topic.
There are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once a topic was picked, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
MidcoastMILF: The Insatiable Wife LINK TO INDIVIDUAL POST [post 3669777] . aka She Spends 50% of Her Time on Her Back
wittywoman: Cricket's Chirp Light Switches and Tacos Sluts to aspire to
myelin36: Dirty Little Secrets Virtual Symposium On Slut Shaming
rascalQUALITY: Connect 4... [post 3669708]
ghost90025: Fantasy to Reality? [post 3669709]
joisygirl: Done and Dusted (first in a foursome of contributions) [post 3668606]
joisygirl: Done and Dusted (second in a foursome of contributions) [post 3669369]
joisygirl: Done and Dusted (third in a foursome of contributions) [post 3669440]
joisygirl: Done and Dusted (fourth in a foursome of contributions) [post 3669560] .
ChocolateNinja1: ☁☁Cloudy With a Chance Of..... [post 3669716]
humorlife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man Virtual Symposium On On Slut Ethics, Sluttery, And The Single Swinger
keithcancook: The Venting Blog On Slut10th Virtual Symposium
KittySC78: Ginger Shots [post 3669693]
Gntillhom: La rubrique et de broc [post 3669580]
nightsoul1962: Tales of a night soul [post 3669600]
mcmaniac: Rantings of a Social Butterfly [post 3669502]
_Lady_X_: Long, Cool Drink Of Sinner Ale [post 3669489]
kzoopair (By PD): Take two- they're small The King of Filth and the Slut Chorus
kzoopair (By Bill): Take two- they're small We39re here, we39re sluts, get used to it
NaughtyInSO (first post): It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... 10th Virtual Symposium 6 most famous sluts in history
NaughtyInSO (second post, or first post part two): It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... 10th Symposium, second contribution Hypocricy
lonelyoldsquid: Sea Stories Slut Symposium
LadyLeo1949: The Metamorphosis of LadyLeo.. [post 3669386]
SlenderGal88: To Be Consumed [post 3669346]
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! On Being a Slut 10th Symposium
whome1963: Thoughts from a Shiny Skull [post 3669759]
author51: My Best ASSets [post 3669762]
CalypsoFlame: A Lucid Passion [post 3669763]
Fel7114: Fearless Forties [post 3669768]
[blog yckare]: Rêves d'envols... [post 3669764] On "Slut" - The Tenth Virtual Symposium [post 3669764]
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES SLUT LIKE YOU
Megan6627: Metaphysical Temple of Haiku [post 3669823]
_Lady_X_: Long, Cool Drink Of Sinner Ale (a second take on the topic) [post 3669850]
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3669860]
itaintagame: Live from the dug out Sluts for the symposium
keithcancook (second post): The Venting Blog One Slut, Two Slut Red Slut Blue Slut
apollorising2021: going LOCAL [post 3669916]
sinfullychocolat: Sleeping Car Desires SLUT Tenth Virtual Symposium Entry
missysensual69: Normal By Day Naughty By Night [post 3669980]
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... When Sluts were Sluts
thegrlsnme: Thoughts from a late bloomer We are all slutty
missthee: me, myself, and missthee Tenth Virtual Symposium sl00t
2trythis: Personal Preferences 10th Virtual Symposium On Slut
Seraphim13: My Kingdom of Hearts The 39Insolite39 Slut
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah Slut 1
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah Slut 2
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Virtual Symposium On “On Slut”: Ethics, Sluttery, And The Single Swinger
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Posted:Jul 26, 2015 2:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2021 9:40 am
55401 Views
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This blog entry is part of the tenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (“On Slut”) and agreed, on or about July 26, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants List For The Tenth Virtual Symposium On Slut
Are you a good slut or a bad slut? Or are you confused as to whether you’re a slut at all? Thankfully, there’s a double helping of guidance in “The Ethical Slut” – the canonical text on non-monogamy. Within its pages, authors Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (the latter called herself Catherine A. Liszt in an earlier edition) cover a wide range of definitions, myths and realities, behavior, skills, and negative reactions.
Even if a reader chooses not to take Easton and Hardy’s words as gospel – and really, no book should ever be swallowed without being chewed first – their ideas deserve serious consideration.
The book offers two definitions of what a slut is – a promiscuous literary quirk which seems oddly appropriate, given the subject. The definitions are similar, but they offer slight variations in their attempts to codify slutdom.
Initially, a slut is defined as “a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.” Toward the book’s end, the authors define a slut as someone who “celebrates sexuality with an open mind and an open heart.” Both definitions work.
Now, if the book were only concerned with the broad points of sluttery, it would be fairly short. But Easton and Hardy do the sluts of the world – and the people who fuck them – a valuable service by offering several considerations of ethics. In broad strokes (although this will not do the book justice – read it) ethical sluts:
• Value consent
• Are honest with themselves and others
• Recognize the ramifications of their sexual choices
• Are respectful of others’ feelings
• Own their feelings, and seek the support they need in order to feel safe and cared for
Swingers in the audience may have a small quibble with Easton and Hardy. The authors take pains to use inclusive language whenever possible. Their discussions of sluttery are gender-, preference-, and orientation-neutral, and practice-agnostic… with one exception. In a few places language slips in which indicates a bias about swinging – that it’s a practice among couples. As the authors characterize it:
Swinging is a broad term that gets used to define a wide variety of interactions, ranging from long-term two-couple sexual pairings through the wildest of Saturday-night puppy-pile orgies…. They are most often coupled, and are often more mainstream in their politics, lifestyles, and personal values than other kinds of sluts.
Maybe, maybe not. Certainly the political observations hold true if one examines only swinging couples. In 1985, sociologist R. J. Jenks found that 32 percent of swingers described themselves politically conservative, 41 percent were politically moderate, while only 27 percent said they were liberal. (Granted, this was during the Reagan presidency. The nation as a whole identified as more conservative.)
When one factors in solo swingers, the characteristics may shift a bit. (One would need a survey of said soloists, and that data isn’t readily available.) But first one has to acknowledge that swinging can be an individual pursuit. Easton and Hardy include both celibate and self-identified asexual individuals as legitimate categories of slut. If a celibate person can be slutty, a single person can swing!
I once heard the distinction that lifestyle couples are swingers, while single individuals are players. I reject this: The term “player” has negative connotations, including overtones of disingenuousness. The whole point to being an ethical slut is to avoid being duplicitous. Single people swing – ethically and not, just like couples.
Fair’s fair: Easton and Hardy pepper their book with discussions of individual sluts who play with couples (and more). And they do include a section on singles who are “lover to a couple.” So they at least acknowledge single sluts: Recognizing single swingers shouldn’t be that big a leap.
This is a picayune quarrel, however, with a book that should have a place of honor on any self-respecting slut’s bookshelf. And it should be mandatory reading for any slut who is not self-respecting. It offers a great roadmap for ethics, honor, and joy.
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“On Slut” Is The Topic For The Tenth Virtual Symposium
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Posted:Jul 20, 2015 3:42 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2015 12:17 pm
65688 Views
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Ah, the temptations when titling this post… “Team Slut Pulls It Out,” was the first to suggest itself, followed by the affirming “Sluts On Top This Month,” “Sluts Are The People’s Choice,” and even “Sluts More Popular Than Ever.”
No matter which title one goes with – and in the end I went with the workman-like version – “On Slut” was the blogosphere’s top choice for the upcoming virtual symposium’s topic. To those who pimped this vote, thank you!
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “On Slut.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the ninth symposium: Participants List For The Ninth Virtual Symposium Body ImageImagery
Feel free to take the basic idea of “On Slut” and stretch it to as wild an interpretation as you like -- the post should reflect you! The last thing we need is a dozen monotonous texts on the same topic. Anything goes, as long as there is a trace of the original idea in the post.
On the morning of July 26 (this Sunday, for those keeping score), all participants will post their creations. Please, please, post ‘em to your own blogs early: I do want to link to them in a central post here, but I don’t want to be stapled to my desk all day.
I'll be responsible for posting links to your blogs here – I want to make this as effortless for participants as possible! Once you’ve posted, leave a note in the comments section here so I know to link to your submission. I will, of course, post latecomers… people do check back to see whether new participants have joined the symposium. But after the morning of July 26, I may not be updating the list as obsessively.
Additionally, links sometimes take a while to become live. The sooner I can scoop up the link to your contribution, the faster (hopefully) others will be able to click through to it.
As for contributions themselves: The idea is to create something new, as opposed to using posts to respond to other posts (although the comments section will, of course, remain fair game). Leave a note in the blog comments, and I’ll use a post on this blog that day to link to all contributions.
A suggestion: Participants may want to refer to either the virtual symposium or the topic itself in their headline. Not a requirement – there are no requirements, save for originality and participation – but a suggestion which will let the wide blog community know what we’re doing.
This is not a contest. No souvenir mugs will be sent, nor ribbons awarded. The idea here is for those interested to, on a single day, offer an interpretation of a single topic for the sheer fun of it.
By all means, encourage other bloggers to participate – and to let me know they’re doing so through this post, so on the morning of July 26 I can link to their posts. Oh, and please consider this an invitation – if not a request – to the symposium both on your own blogs, and in individual requests to bloggers whom you’d like to see represented. The more the merrier, right? There are some folks with very distinct voices on this site who aren’t yet participating – let’s bring ‘em in and make ‘em one of us, one of us, one of us!
Remember, of course, to keep things in your voice!
Final note: Every symposium, there are a few newbies who contribute posts, and don’t let me know about their contributions (I catch some by watching the “recent posts” feed, but that’s hit or miss). So… once you post, please leave me a note on the master list post, or here! (I get messages about the symposium which are attached to the blog a little faster than the ones which are emailed to me.)
Can’t wait to see the results!
the symposium, the symposium, the symposium... the viewers you bring in may be your own. Can't get more (verbally) naked than that...
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Would-Be Swinging Church Closed By Fire Marshalls – Then Burns
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Posted:Jul 14, 2015 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2015 1:40 am
55140 Views
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Let’s get the serious stuff out of the way first: Nobody was injured when a Madison, Tenn. swingers club, which was attempting to dodge zoning laws by calling itself a church (Virtual Symposium On Inspiration what inspires us to Swing Club Comes To God, Dodges Zoning Law), burned beyond repair.
The business, which called itself The Social Club, had its initial business request denied by the Madison zoning authorities. It had attempted to circumvent the board by designating itself a church – one which would condone, if not downright encourage, fraternization among its parishioners.
For a while, it seemed as though the ploy would work (applause, by the way, to “church” officials for the inspired thinking). But on June 28, what the zoning board couldn’t do the fire department did: It shuttered the church for holding social club events without first obtaining city permits, according to “Fire inspectors shut down Madison swingers club,” which can be found on The Tennessean site.
The building was scheduled to be demolished, but fate – perhaps aided – moved the timing up. On the Wednesday after the fire department issued its stop work citation, the club developed a fire of dubious origin, according to “Fire At Former Swingers Club Ruled Suspicious,” which can be found on the Scripps Media/newschannel5 site.
“Officials said the blaze may have started in a utility room near a furnace,” the Scripps Media site reported.
Reports are jumbled regarding who, exactly, stood to benefit from the club burning down: The former owners appeared to have already lost control over the property by the fire broke out.
Another article on The Tennessean site, “Former home of Nashville swingers club catches fire,” features a brief video of the fire taken by the owner of a neighboring business.
According to that Tennessean article, the church’s layout caused a little confusion among the fire fighters. The article quoted fire Captain Bubba Long as saying “It was weird in there….It was like eight-by-eight prison cells all through it.”
Aw, geez. Prison cells? Methinks the good Captain needs an education about a walk on the wild side…
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What’s In A Name? For U.K. Swingers’ Club Isis Quest, Filthy Lucre
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Posted:Jul 8, 2015 2:49 pm
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2016 2:54 pm
58957 Views
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Ever search online for a popular term – Kardashian, NASCAR, or NFL, say – and wind up seeing entirely unrelated results? Online marketers occasionally bid on popular words from search companies such as G—gl- or B-ng in order to attract new customers to their offerings.
Swingers’ club Isis Quest of Leeds, England is reaping the benefits of its name without spending a shilling on search marketing. Web surfers seeking information on terror organization Isis are being exposed – quite literally – to the play sex world, according to “Holy phwoar: Swingers' club is doing a bomb over islamist [sic] ‘links’,” an article on the U.K.’s Daily Star site.
The club has reported increased revenue during the last year or so, and some visitors claim they came across it while searching for information on the war in the Middle East, according to the Daily Star.
“Loads of people have said they happened across it when they were reading up on the war in the Middle East and one of the owners, Dave, said the same thing,” the Daily Star continued.
But why name a swingers’ club Isis Quest at all? According to the Daily Star, “The club – named after the Egyptian goddess of magic and life – tells punters: ‘Isis Quest is the original premier club in Leeds for liberated adults.’”
(Side note: C’mon, Daily Star… punters? An English term which may mean customers, but often has the connotation of “Johns” in the sense? Inherent in swinging ethics is the right to say no. Not cricket, boys….)
Isis Quest itself seeks to reaffirm this attitude: According to the Daily Star, the club “make[s] it our business to provide you with an evening of total relaxation and enjoyment in a smooth hassle-free environment so you can enjoy the swinging lifestyle in comfort and at your own pace.
“Once you enter you can feel free to dance, socialise and cavort with other couples or singles that enjoy the same liberated adult night out that you yourself have come to enjoy.”
“Free” of course, has a price attached to it: Couples pay 20 pounds (about $31 U.S. or $39 Canadian dollars) to attend, while single men pay 25 pounds ($39 U.S. or $49 Canadian) to walk through the doors.
My reaction, which is echoed by one of the club owners in the Daily Sun piece: Isn’t this just the sort of thing Wahhabism – the orthodox strain of Islam practiced by the Saudi leaders of Al-Qaeda – and other puritanical orthodoxies are trying to eliminate? Go, Isis Quest, go!
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Participants List For The Ninth Virtual Symposium: Body Image/Imagery
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Posted:Jun 28, 2015 3:55 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2015 9:43 pm
69636 Views
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Welcome to the ninth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic (Body Image/Imagery) and agreed, on or about June 28, to post their interpretations of that topic.
There are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once a topic was picked, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
author51: My Best ASSets [post 3656382]
CalypsoFlame: A Lucid Passion [post 3656378]
Seraphim13: My Kingdom of Hearts Age Notes
CookiesNMischief: Hands in the Cookie Jar The Ninth Virtual Symposium Aging Gracefully is Not Simply a Black or White Issue, Just Gray
wittywoman: Cricket's Chirp Being a Submissive a Symposium Submissive that is
Eros_Space: LOVE AND ROCKETS [post 3656336]
2trythis: Personal Preferences Ninth Virtual Symposium Body Image Views of a Man's Body
2trythis (a second offering!): Personal Preferences Ninth Virtual Symposium Body Image
Fel7114: Fearless Forties [post 3656279]
nightsoul1962: Tales of a night soul [post 3656330]
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3656298]
Mcmaniac: Rantings of a Social Butterfly [post 3656249]
Megan6627: Metaphysical Temple of Haiku [post 3656243]
kittyliquor519: Hiding in plain sight What an ASS
HumorLife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man Virtual Symposium On Body Imagery Swingers Find SelfConfidence Sexy, Says Social Scientist
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... 9th Virtual Symposium Body Image
NaughtyInSO (A body double – her second contribution!): It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... 9th Virtual Symposium Imagery and how it affects body image
KittySC78: Ginger Shots [post 3656231]
KtMnDu: Ramblings.............. [post 3656215]
kzoopair (By PD): Take two- they're small Clown Suits for Christmas and Other Ritual Humiliations
kzoopair (By Bill): Take two- they're small The Manly Man
Gntillhom: La rubrique et de broc [post 3656168] 9th VS : le corps et l'art - body and art [post 3656168]
GloryUnBound: Red lipstick, "Fuck Me" Shoes Body ImageNinth Virtual Symposium
SlenderGal88: To Be Consumed [post 3656182]
rascalQUALITY: Connect 4... [post 3656170]
Joisygirl: Done and Dusted [post 3656089]
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! Body Image9th Virtual Symposium
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES WHO ARE YOU
whome1963: Thoughts from a Shiny Skull [post 3656407]
_Lady_X_ : LongCoolDrink of Absorbine jr [post 3656436]
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! 9th Virtual Symposium Body Image and Imagery
39lawless: The Chronicles of Me.... I39m Fat Blogger Symposium on Body Image
sweet_VM: In your Dreams Body ImageImagery Which one does it for you
mature_951: psst, over here.... [post 3656508]
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... Ode to an Aging Spartan Man
dayzeeme: Mimi's Musings Body image can haunt a gal
missysensual69: Normal By Day Naughty By Night [post 3656545]
tigger678902: Tigger's Den of Carnality blog symposium body image
meeyore: BLOGZILLA! [post 3656592]
myelin36: Dirty Little Secrets Body Image and
TerraNova4Two: Terra Nova [post 3656729]
grayblue1: The Road to Perdition... [post 3656704]
apollorising2021: going LOCAL [post 3656743]
thegrlsnme: Thoughts from a late bloomer Body Count Body ImageImagery Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium
author51 (a second dose): My Best ASSets [post 3656879]
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3656795]
lil_whimsical: Whatever ... [post 3656892]
sinfullychocolat: Sleeping Car Desires My Late Ninth Virtual Symposium Entry My Body View
yckare: Envolées et rêves d'envols... [post 3658211]
geyser_lady: A Seven Day Fool's Journey [post 3659949]
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah Ninth Virtual Symposium Body Image Sex change
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Virtual Symposium On Body Imagery: Swingers Find Self-Confidence Sexy, Says Social Scientist
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Posted:Jun 28, 2015 3:39 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2015 1:34 pm
50949 Views
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This blog entry is part of the ninth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (Body Images/Imagery) and agreed, on or about June 28, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants List For The Ninth Virtual Symposium Body ImageImagery
Confidence is sexy, and the affirmation of this (which is a natural outgrowth of healthy swinging activity) is a damned fine way to build confidence, writes Edward M. Fernandes in Psychology Today.
Fernandes, an assistant professor of psychology at Barton College, bases his conclusion on nearly 20 years of interviews and research focused on the swinging community. As he wrote in his 2013 article, “Women, Swinging, Sex, and Seduction,” “Swinging provides women with a context in which they are free to be their own person, to be sensual, sexual, lustful, provocative, and explore same-sex interactions without fear of societal repercussions, criticisms, or stigmatization. It doesn’t matter if you have a slim, fit body, or if you qualify as big, beautiful woman; the sensual is valued higher over the ‘perfect.’”
Preach it, Professor Fernandes. While I continue to have a major quibble with the couples-focused bias of his research (I discussed this the last time I referenced his work, in Age and Amorousness A Survey of Swingers Part of the Virtual Symposium) I still think he’s doing some of the most socially valid research into the community. And this Psychology Today article affirms anecdotal evidence from other media.
While the article’s focus is on women’s roles in the swinging community, body image issues play a major sub-role in the piece. Writes Fernandes, “The following comments by the women reflect the opinion expressed by most of the women I interviewed: ‘The first time can be a little terrifying for the woman. Most women don’t know what to expect and they often ask themselves: Am I pretty enough? Am I sexy enough for anyone else to want me?’ said one women.
“Others commented on their expectations in the swinging context: ‘What kind of clothes should I wear? I don’t want to embarrass myself by looking too slutty or too matronly.’”
Granted, the opportunity to dress “too slutty” can be part of swinging’s thrill. Blog posts and other accounts are rife with tales of wearing only swinger garb under a long coat, and the thrill of teasing those who might realize why someone would have donned substantial outerwear when going to a party – in August.
Fernandes acknowledges this. As he writes, “Countless women have expressed joy at finally being able to wear the sexy clothes they wouldn’t dare put on anywhere else in public.”
Or, as one of his interview subjects quite candidly put it, “Who cares if nipples are showing or camel toe is visible, it’s all part of the fun.”
But body image is largely independent of one’s clothing. And swingers seem to have an appreciation of what’s under the wrap, as well as under the skin. “…It doesn’t take long for most women to realize that how you look is probably only part of the process, and that, in the end, how they look physically isn’t that important at all: ‘Confidence is the most important feature of being sexy’ said another one,” writes Fernandes.
“Some women posited: ‘Being overweight doesn’t make you less sexy or less appealing, it’s how you think of yourself that is important,’” he continues.
So the answer to all one’s body and self-confidence issues is just to embrace swinging, right? Well, not exactly. Fernandes admits that “to suggest that everyone is accepted at the same level in the swinging communities would be disingenuous. Societal perceptions that apply to everyday life still exist and exert an influence on the perception of beauty and body image.”
The counterweight to this is that people in the swinging lifestyle may be more willing to explore sexual interaction – and therefore interaction in general – with people outside of their traditional social groups. It won’t come as a surprise to most folks here, but “younger men are often interested in pursuing older women, just as older men may approach younger women,” Fernandes writes. And those interactions can be gratifying on a number of levels.
If all this seems clinical, consider “Body Image and Swinging,” an essay by the author known only as “Her” on the swingingforfun site. As “Her” writes, “Contrary to what I imagined when I first started in the lifestyle, I have found that the older ladies have more body confidence than the younger ones, they tend to be more comfortable with themselves and know what they bring to the bedroom.”
Now that’s sexy.
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An Obscenely Late Entry For The Previous Virtual Symposium: When Not Swinging, America Eats!
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Posted:Jun 27, 2015 8:49 am
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2021 3:50 pm
45709 Views
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No excuses, folks: Everyone else faced the same technical problems last month I did, so yes, this post for last month’s virtual symposium on food is late, late, late. But I had a topic idea which fit, and I wanted to post it before listing the next round of contributions for the current virtual symposium (Body Count Body ImageImagery Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium), which will take place tomorrow, June 28 – the one on body imagery.
I was initially tempted to use this post (A Roundup Of French Swing Clubs Highlights What Else Food), which I wrote before participants chose food as last month’s topic. Take a look – the French have elevated blending elegance and sensuality in the food served within some of their swing clubs to a high art. But I found a few swing clubs in America which purport to feed their patrons as well, and couldn’t resist comparing.
First, the bad news. New York City clubs don’t fare as well. “American Swing,” the 2008 documentary on New York City’s Plato’s Retreat, briefly touches on the food proprietor Larry Levenson offered. Levenson, if I remember correctly (been a while since I’ve seen the movie) was supposedly proud of his buffet – which by most accounts, was awful. Glutinous pasta, rolls which were hard, and salad which was limp awful. (And let’s not go into the unfortunate juxtaposition of hardness and limpness at a swing club, shall we?)
Sadly, the NYC epicurean swinging scene doesn’t seem to have improved since the 1970s. Four years ago, Saara Dutton posted “Sampling the Delicacies at the Le Trapeze Swingers Club” on the Observer web site. Dutton doesn’t seem to be much of a swinger. She’s at best a lifestyle newbie, or perhaps non-participant, who dwells on the supposed prevalence of tube socks among swingers. (Any swingers want to weigh in on the tube sock requirement? It doesn’t mirror anything I’ve experienced in any other media.)
Alas, when Dutton visits Le Trapeze, she is told there is no hot buffet that night. Dutton does try to offer a food review, but given the offerings (a few flavored potato chips, Oreos, some freshly popped popcorn, and Wint O Green Life Savers) she didn’t have much to work with. Even a last-minute pizza delivery offered little to work with.
Fortunately, not all Trapezes are created equal. An unaffiliated swing club chain (if two outlets may be considered a chain) also called Trapeze offers fairly elaborate menus at its Fort Lauderdale, Fla. and Atlanta locations. A late-June menu posted on its web site listed a shifting roster of main dishes, including sautéed chicken breast with mushrooms and capers, Cajun shrimp pasta, basil garlic grilled pork chops, and baked haddock with spinach and tomatoes.
The side dishes seem to change regularly as well. There is at least one steamed vegetable dish and one starch every night: Vegetarian swingers should be able to make a substantial meal without feeling slighted. And I suspect those trying to avoid gluten might be able to make a go of the buffet without yielding to gastric distress as well. (The site’s dining page notes that “Our kitchen staff is happy to prepare meals to order according to dietary needs.” Paleo diet swingers, take heart! And lungs, kidneys, or whatever other meats suit you, too.)
Some of the menu choices raise an eyebrow or two. Grilled marinated flank steak with garlic-based chimichurri sauce might prove a determent to play, breath-wise (but could be great for couples with no-kissing rules). Tilapia with chipotle sauce sounds delicious… until one realizes that chipotles are smoked jalapeno peppers, which aren’t the first food someone anticipating oral-genital play might consume.
Playing until the cock crows morning? In the Atlanta location, “During the early morning hours, our chef replaces dinner with a breakfast buffet that includes French toast, roasted potatoes, bacon, sausage, and an omelet station (on select nights).” In Fort Lauterdale, the menu changes up a bit: The bacon and sausage are replaced by biscuits and gravy. Nothing like a little regional flavor, although it’s odd that Atlanta wouldn’t offer the biscuits as well.
Grouper, a local fish delicacy, wasn’t on the menu during the sample week, but it is listed among the sample offerings on the site’s “Five Star Dining” page. Grouper, for the uninitiated, is a delicious, carnivorous (which seems appropriate) which used to be a southern U.S. secret. It’s gained popularity in recent years, but Trapeze nonetheless gets props for featuring it.
As a New York City chauvinist, I’m saddened that our clubs apparently don’t compete on the gastronomic front. But I’m delighted to know that, in at least a few regions, our spreads can hold their own against those offered in the City of Lights.
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Body Count: “Body Image/Imagery” Is The Topic For The Ninth Virtual Symposium
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Posted:Jun 26, 2015 4:23 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2015 1:17 pm
52204 Views
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There were three solid contenders… for second place. But “Body Image/Imagery” was the clear top choice as the topic for the upcoming virtual symposium. To those who pimped this vote, thank you!
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “Body Image/Imagery.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the eighth symposium: Participants List For The Eighth Virtual Symposium Food
Feel free to take the basic idea of “Body Image/Imagery” and stretch it to as wild an interpretation as you like -- the post should reflect you! The last thing we need is a dozen monotonous texts on the same topic. Anything goes, as long as there is a trace of the original idea in the post.
On the morning of June 28 (this Sunday, for those keeping score), all participants will post their creations. Please, please, post ‘em to your own blogs early: I do want to link to them in a central post here, but I don’t want to be stapled to my desk all day.
I'll be responsible for posting links to your blogs here – I want to make this as effortless for participants as possible! Once you’ve posted, leave a note in the comments section here so I know to link to your submission. I will, of course, post latecomers… people do check back to see whether new participants have joined the symposium. But after the morning of June 28, I may not be updating the list as obsessively.
Additionally, links sometimes take a while to become live. The sooner I can scoop up the link to your contribution, the faster (hopefully) others will be able to click through to it.
As for contributions themselves: The idea is to create something new, as opposed to using posts to respond to other posts (although the comments section will, of course, remain fair game). Leave a note in the blog comments, and I’ll use a post on this blog that day to link to all contributions.
A suggestion: Participants may want to refer to either the virtual symposium or the topic itself in their headline. Not a requirement – there are no requirements, save for originality and participation – but a suggestion which will let the wide blog community know what we’re doing.
This is not a contest. No souvenir mugs will be sent, nor ribbons awarded. The idea here is for those interested to, on a single day, offer an interpretation of a single topic for the sheer fun of it.
By all means, encourage other bloggers to participate – and to let me know they’re doing so through this post, so on the morning of June 28 I can link to their posts. Oh, and please consider this an invitation – if not a request – to the symposium both on your own blogs, and in individual requests to bloggers whom you’d like to see represented. The more the merrier, right? There are some folks with very distinct voices on this site who aren’t yet participating – let’s bring ‘em in and make ‘em one of us, one of us, one of us!
Remember, of course, to keep things in your voice!
Final note: Every symposium, there are a few newbies who contribute posts, and don’t let me know about their contributions (I catch some by watching the “recent posts” feed, but that’s hit or miss). So… once you post, please leave me a note on the master list post, or here! (I get messages about the symposium which are attached to the blog a little faster than the ones which are emailed to me.)
Can’t wait to see the results!
the symposium, the symposium, the symposium... the viewers you bring in may be your own. Can't get more (verbally) naked than that...
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Participants List For The Eighth Virtual Symposium: Food
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Posted:May 24, 2015 4:32 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2016 4:38 pm
62977 Views
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Welcome to the eighth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic (Food) and agreed, on or about May 24, to post their interpretations of that topic.
There are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once a topic was picked, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
MidcoastMILF: The Insatiable Wife [post 3638557]
rascalQUALITY: Connect 4... [post 3638549]
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES EATING WITH THE ENEMY
Gntillhom: La rubrique et de broc [post 3638562]
ElDeano64116: Deano's Place Bridesmaid Becomes A Bride Food Is The Topic For The Eighth Virtual Symposium
EasyriderNM: Random Observations 8th Virtual Symposium Bienvenidos A Taste of Nuevo Mejico
2trythis: Personal Preferences The Eighth Virtual Symposium Food
Fel7114: Fearless Forties [post 3638400]
SlenderGal88: To Be Consumed [post 3638396]
Nezzie1959: My Blog 8th virtual symposium FOOD
kzoopair (by Bill): Take two- they're small The Confession of Albert Fish
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... Food contribution to the Eighth Virtual Symposium
_Lady_X_: Long, Cool Drink of Alabaster [post 3638334]
TerraNova4Two: Terra Nova [post 3638345]
mcmaniac: Rantings of a Social Butterfly [post 3638344]
CookiesNMischief: Hands in the Cookie Jar The Eight Virtual Symposium Now Some Biting Commentary on Fun, Food and Foreplay
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! Food The 8th Virtual Symposium
WantAFuck2Day: Perfect Imperfections My Take on Food the Eighth Virtual Symposium
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3638301]
KtMnDu: Ramblings.............. [post 3638615]
kittyliquor519: Hiding in plain sight Eighth symposium Food
kittyliquor519 (not a double post -- he was doubly inspired!): Hiding in plain sight The Food Game
CalypsoFlame: A Lucid Passion [post 3638644]
kathynj: Done and Dusted [post 3637890]
mature_951: psst, over here.... [post 3638683]
FlirtyOne61: More than just a Flirt [post 3638700]
nightsoul1962: Tales of a night soul [post 3638783]
Eros_Space: LOVE AND ROCKETS [post 3638815]
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! The Eighth Virtual Symposium Food
missthee: me, myself, and missthee 8th Virtual Symposium Food
sinfullychocolat: Sleeping Car Desires Virtual Symposium 8 Introducing SCs SexFood Lab
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... The food that fed my carnal flesh
demonicsexkitten: Life, or something like it Fruit Salad for the Eighth Virtual Symposium
lok4fun500: A NORTHERN GENTLEMAN [post 3638957]
itaintagame: Live from the dug out Food My two cents for the 8th symposium The Grand Royal
TicklePlease: Refried Confusion Check out my meat
39lawless: The Chronicles of Me.... Food Post for the Blogger Symposium
yckare: Rêves d'envols. [post 3639086]
sweet_VM: In your Dreams It is all about Food, the topic for this Eight Virtual Symposium
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah Food
humorlife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man An Obscenely Late Entry For The Previous Virtual Symposium When Not Swinging, America Eats
Readers: Two links from our French contributors, yckare and Gntilhom, have proven especially slow to resolve. They seem to be working now, and I encourage everyone to check them out -- even without a working knowledge of the French language, I can say that these two contributors have offered mouth-watering contributions.
Lecteurs: Deux liens de nos collaborateurs français, yckare et Gntilhom, se sont révélées particulièrement lente à résoudre. Ils semblent travailler maintenant, et je vous encourage tous à les vérifier -- même sans une connaissance pratique de la langue française, je peux dire que ces deux contributeurs ont offert des contributions alléchants.
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Site Troubles -- Symposium Needs Pimping
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Posted:May 23, 2015 2:44 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2021 3:51 pm
49811 Views
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Hello, all:
As I understand it, the humorguaranteed account was one of those compromised. Not sure how this affects the visibility of the blog, but if you've pimped the virtual symposium before, please do so again... even if you're not contributing! I'd hate for this popular topic to be compromised by some hacker miscreants...
Bridesmaid Becomes A Bride Food Is The Topic For The Eighth Virtual Symposium
Looking forward to a wonderful turnout for tomorrow's "event" -- and again, thank you for supporting (and pimping) it!
-- The newly rechirstened Humorguaranteed1 (but please, call me Humorguaranteed.)
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To link to this blog (humorlife) use [blog humorlife] in your messages.
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