Flying Therapy
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Posted:Aug 11, 2021 2:45 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2021 2:47 pm
3633 Views
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I'm Flipping mad...depressive and sad...flipping ciggs like it's not even all that bad.
Sobriety got me tired...hard to stand this brain the way it's wired...feels like I expired.
No funeral and no burial...a breathing corpse, psychotic material...I want to be aerial.
Just fly away...flap my wings and depart astray... get away, get away...sore thru the sky on the
calmest day.
Since i can't transform into a feathered friend...a vehicle is close to this end.
Take a road trip and push it fast...opened windows let the wind blast...smashing my face a form
of freedom at last.
County road or highway, it doesn't matter...just accelerate until I feel better.
Sliding pavement left in the past...disconnected white lines just fly past.
GPS on phone turned off...there's no destination but the road feels like home.
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Sex Cam Girls and the proper etiquette
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Posted:Aug 11, 2021 9:16 am
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2021 5:08 pm
3844 Views
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To have her attention...and her real name if shes willing to mention... would be a genuine innovation.
She poses like no other...with moves in the right order...tantalizing your senses with no chances of you to have her.
Your desire....only a perception on a computer screen for hire...a rental pleasure for a memory that'll expire.
Pick a show... and she'll let you have it. Its a big business and our libidos support it. They're never married or even with a boyfriend....is it true or are we just their toy friends. I'm not against flaunting the body... even other females get excited and cant hide it. It's a sexual and virtual world...have fun with it just tip the models some more.
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Swimming thru Loneliness
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Posted:Aug 10, 2021 8:58 pm
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2021 12:20 am
3752 Views
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To walk thru these streets and be married to the same walls...having own shadow cast the only
illusion of a soul...engulfs the mentality to a new kind of low...as if the ground underneath me
thrust me down a waterfall.
Falling and crashing to the plunge pool...alone and bitter...the veins of the body of water...lured
me to a craft that i chartered.
A sinking vessel with one cracked paddle...fighting to stay afloat as its a losing battle.
The rugged current hauls the craft farther away...barely floating disappearing astray.
Deep cries and yelps for help...silenced by a mass of ocean water concerned of itself.
Drenched and sinking...with arms fully swinging...I spot a school of fish floating and immersing.
No way could they pull me ashore...only glanced at me and haven't seen them no more.
These wretched emotions paint pictures of an end...til out in the distance I spotted a fin...making
her way towards me it seemed...upper torso of a woman and lower of green...first time in my life
a mermaid I've seen.
I wrapped my arms around her waist...as she smiled in a jovial way...maneuvering her body
extracting me from harms' way.
Finally touched land...with the mermaid hand in hand...at last she quelled my abandonment.
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Lucky in health
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Posted:Aug 22, 2021 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2021 7:23 am
3416 Views
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-Scene in geriatric medical waiting room-
Tom - Hey there...what brings you here ?
Jerry - Well I'm a diabetic and also have other health issues.
Tom - That sucks man...
Jerry - Yeah brother we are getting to that age where everything fades away.
Tom - Not with me, I'm just here for a routine check up.
Jerry - Oh you have it made...I take so many meds and have pain all over. I miss the good old days
when I was healthy and fooling around with my wife. Don't know how much time I have on
this Earth.
Tom - My Doc says I have the health of an athlete even in my old age and no worries whatsoever.
Jerry - That's wonderful....the only good thing is my morning erection.
Tom - You can get it up ? Wow you're a lucky bastard.
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Fire Within
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Posted:Aug 19, 2021 10:33 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2021 10:44 am
3545 Views
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The fire deep inside me...burns slowly thru the day
Leaving ashes all around me...ascending in an upwards way
I try to hide the smoke from others that leaves its' mark
Penetrating my insides and the tears it peels from my eyes
I can't fight it...I can't fight it...how many times I tried to put it out and it ignited...far worse then before I started.
To extinguish and relinquish these burns from inside
Would bring a peace of the mind as the fire would subside
Water has run dry...and the fierce anger feeds on a psychotic ride
This is me at night...with no one in sight...as in daytime it's harder to hide...it
I can't fight it...I can't fight it...the coal inside me...keeps it ignited
So many times I tried it...and the fire subdued for meanwhile...smoldering inside so it didn't lead to its exile.
Its their faces and their words... that I know i have no choice...as the heat begins to take me over the blistering anger leaves me alone and sore.
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Spittin' the written
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Posted:Aug 18, 2021 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 1:17 am
3977 Views
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This blank screen is white with no scribbled words or texts on it....but it's that time of night and I'm already on it...keyboard letters start pulling my typing fingers on 'em...like they're haunted by my unusual style of rhymin'...possessed by my language and intricate words...slayin' these blog boxes like medieval swords...choppin' ideas about like lyrical warlords...and of course...there is no remorse...when i abuse analogies and clever metaphors...treatin' 'em like twenty dollar whores.
I don't own 'em...creativity is free...but somehow all of 'em keep following me...like they won't let me be... like a dysfunctional family that won't disperse and just break up the family tree...I didn't choose to rhyme the rhymes chose me...at the age of 3...i was stalked and heard whispers from a dic-tio-na-ry....kinda creepy for most and even sca-ry....but i fell in love and had no fear in me.
Far from a rapper I do slam poetry at best...shootin' lines makin' listeners wear a lyrical vest...just in case the shock don't puncture your chest....end up with a cardiac arrest...it's just for the best.
Nevertheless...if i don't leave you impressed...at least I got to knock some tension off my chest.
It's a sport for me but I'm not lookin' for no medals, trophies, or even ribbons to be recognized as credible. It's the craft that I'm after, makin' some noise...lettin' those who see this whats on my mind at times. You like it or hate it, I could care fukin less...putting this down gives me some rest...from my crazy n fuked up mind that doesnt want to rest.
As for the rest, that drop by and leave me a comment...a thumb up and praise i appreciate your homage.
Everything here is straight from the heart...rhythmically placed together and it plays its part...
creating a symphony of words that depart...your mind from this world that can be crazy by far.
This is my world and this is my passion...my life on display for those who are askin'...no facade or even any maskin'... a relaxin' Picasso strokin his brush and...wont quit til satisfied with the piece he mastered.
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Gothic Mistress
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Posted:Aug 18, 2021 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 1:17 am
3624 Views
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From the high of a sedative i run blindly towards its' allure...
The constant state of peace and chaos that my mind endures...
Leaves me craving for something pure that I can't get my hands onto.
I yearn for her cause she's the closest. At same time farthest yet i can't grasp it...
I doubt her presence I will ever achieve as she's worlds away in every aspect...
To be near her and make her laugh or smile it's a losing battle tactic.
I try to fight for her but I'm worn from previous battles...
She's scorn herself which makes this even more unfathomable.
Would she take a chance ? Would she even glance at a wretched being like myself...
I can't see it or imagine it if I was in her place...as she puts it 'we are friends'...
Trading messages in these days...til the darkness casts its spell and invades.
I stay up nights, she's long gone...til the grim skies are gone... and morning has begun... is the next time our words will intertwine.
This is what I asked for and it was a mutual pact...I regret it now that for a friendship out of cowardice I only asked.
My armor torn and rusted thru...defeated and weekend of what i lived thru...so to pursue her romantically didn't feel like a reasonable thing to do.
Now I feel ease and strength to let her know...that i will fight for her til her last words to me are 'NO'
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Whispers of hidden truths
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Posted:Aug 18, 2021 6:44 am
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2021 4:37 pm
3594 Views
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Any compassion given me...was thrown out with all of that i am and was and will always be...Locked my mind behind bars of thoughts...silently whispering words of my faults. My past put on display... haunting me in a way...that this craziness of mind will never go away.
Even on the quiet days my anger flows thru me...as if I'm an addicted psychotic delusional individual that never knew me.
Medicines only help so much...suppressing this diseased mind but never enough...I've had enough...I cry and I laugh...on a dating site with no visible luck.
Feels like everyone left and the ones that are here...won't look me in the eyes and it drives me with fear.
But what should I expect...out of this life that i kept...so many mistakes that it doesn't fit in my head.
Every thought has its own chamber...my repressed mind unlocked, and now i can remember...every good or bad memory that I swore I'd never remember.
Hardly worked on myself and even if I did it wouldn't help....I was always so far gone and not like anyone else...all these feelings rested on a shelf...til the walls collapsed and fell...slamming me with an intensity I couldn't cope too well.
Surprised I'm still here...breathing their precious air...i shouldn't be a part of this life, this isn't fair.
No one chooses to be born, it's all a biological game...I feel like i lost the moment my mom's egg was fermented by my dad's sperm.
Nature vs nurture, maybe it's a little bit of both...I'm exhausted blaming others when the fault is my own.
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My time on here
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Posted:Aug 16, 2021 8:45 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2021 4:33 pm
4641 Views
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The only slam poet slash rhyme slasher... cooking up words and cleansing paragraphs like an experienced dish washer...kitchen is open 24/7...stop by and order some lyrics for your melon.
Spittin' and spewin' for an expression of what I'm feelin'...life experiences intertwined with torture thats rarely sex appealin'...i know i dont fit in.
No sexual innuendo from this keyboard composer...not into romance novels either, unless they come with a full nude poster...idioms inserted in paragraphs that bring you closer...to my anguish and torture...of self inflicted wounds as I get older.
But it's not always chaos or disorder.
There's times that I reveal a sweet melody of syllables...that mash up thoughts like materials in crucibles.
Leavin' you bewildered like a spirit entered your soul...big words coming from a broken and imprisoned soul...part of a dysfunctional home...trying to keep it whole...but it all depends on which chemical...i intend to ingest or if any at all.
Sex site ? What sex site ? All i see is nude pics and no penetration in damn sight...or maybe its just me...but I have to be stimulated by a female's mind before I think of her sexually.
And even if I do...its vapid and it gets old fast...gotta have an emotional contact for the sex life to last.
Posting pics of cats and some crazy cars...abnormal for this site...feel like regular at a bar...that only ordered water so far.
Far from timid...although I have my limit. Fake profiles and scammers...slam on my esteem like a medley of hammers...frustrating me with the logout button lookin' so pleasant.
No I'm not leavin'... just I always give 'em my opinion...if you want to get to know me more I will feel how real you bein'.
Asking for e-mail, always with one photo....this isn't my first day at the mathafukin rodeo...and even if it was I'd still get first place yo.
Ride these fakers like a cowboy from Mid-West...oh and one more thing before I forget...next time you dudes want to see a girl's ass, pussy, or breasts....try givin' em some point money you freakin' free-loaders.
Thats it i'm done...i tired my keyboard out...it's yellin' at me 'stop, stop, stop, dont even press one more button now'
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Addicted to Soul
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Posted:Aug 16, 2021 2:19 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2021 1:59 pm
3428 Views
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At first I didn't notice her body...although thats what everybody...commented on.
Maybe cause she didnt reveal too much...although she did reveal her mind...and her personality was spot on.
Not the typical girl im used to be attracted to...although her quirkiness and sharp honesty had me to.
She has a strong sense of being...self aware and unapologetic for expressing for what she's feeling. It's really appealing. How can i explain this feeling ?
I'm drawn to her intelligence...her respect for people that pay her presence...with kind words and humor as if they were Christmas presents.
She said she stays away from others in the real world...doesnt like people as she once told...everyone in the room, but she has a genuine soul.
Don't know her well or even at all...just fragments of what she wanted to show...not writing this for a show...even tho...it might seem like so...just would spend days listening to her and interacting with her if she wanted me to.
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Big Spender
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Posted:Aug 14, 2021 8:12 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2021 6:34 am
4233 Views
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This point of insanity...of wasting money...is a high with every purchase i make.
How can a striving minimalist...develop into an obsessed materialist ?
I some clarity...but it doesn't want to come too easy...and even if it does ...
The debit and credit cards cry out 'feed me , feed me '
As a disease of constantly wanting own...possess material items and claim them as my own...
but truth be told...It's only a high when the item is being sold...at times i still feel the euphoria on the ride home...from the store.
It's a primitive nature when I dissect it...like my survival depends on the goods i collect and...not just myself... but others as well...financial transactions got me under a spell.
I can tell, this is unhealthy...even if I was wealthy...I'd garner plenty...spending and spending 'til
my last penny.
A sense of a good taste, I do have...showering girls with gifts and even giving them a bath.
Anything they so desire...It's my job to eventually acquire...fill their needs from jewelry to food and any attire.
There's rules to this, or so I was told...spoil only one girl at a time, don't be a fool.
Be a man of one woman, you're not a ...or even worse, an internet simp.
So I take my time...and the one that I find...I'm willing to share half of anything that's mine.
In between my fingers' keyboard clicks...I've already made several online purchases...it never ends...a shopaholic with a high as he spends.
In the end, it's not the worst addiction i have endured...I've drained bottles dry and the liquor never cured...what I was trying to be going thru.
For now...my online store cart is empty somehow...I guess I got my fix, at least for now.
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Sailed (Relation) Ships
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Posted:Aug 13, 2021 1:18 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2021 1:19 am
3435 Views
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I spent enough times...pursuing vessels from the docks.
Longing to be aboard...having an experience of that foreign world.
To feel and embrace...the vibrant and sensual waves.
Felt captivated and motivated.
The thoughts had me elated.
A jovial journey with storms for sure...one in which i would endure.
A youth i was during the sails...yearning for a voyage unprepared of myself.
Became an outcast and even exiled...tormented and angry like an undisciplined .
These days I stay off the coast...self aware that im not fit to be with most...of these girls.
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Addiction to Affliction
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Posted:Aug 12, 2021 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2021 6:19 pm
3719 Views
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I taunt...this font...with words that haunt...my every day thought...after thought.
I would have never thought...years ago...I'd feel alone in this world but it is so. There's things
that I've let go...but in doing so...I'm still a vacant morbid soul.
Who really knows...what the future holds...diseased in a mental hold...along with a frailty physical... torso.
I chased a detrimental...lifestyle for more than I should have so...running to the liquor store...
day or night consuming all the alcohol...that i could absorb.
Times of joy, what a lie...just a liquid waste with my time...and all the time...it was my only means to unwind.
There were tears, but not of joy...even scuffles that i deployed.
Not proud a bit...even if...there was pleasure, I must admit...those times have passed as I don't
long for even a sip.
As for now I have some Serenity...but don't know what to expect with an addictive personality.
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