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this is for all the real people...tired of a bunch of bullshit, living life one day at a time
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AFTERNOON HUMOR
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Posted:Apr 26, 2010 11:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2010 9:52 am
7096 Views
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Sitting behind some nuns (whose habits partially blocked their view) at a hockey game, three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, 'I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there.'
The second guy spoke up and said, 'I want to go to Montana , there are only 50 nuns living there.'
The third guy said, 'I want to go to Idaho , there are only 25 nuns living there.'
One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, 'Why don't you go to hell? There aren't any nuns there!'
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FUZZY NUMBERS
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Posted:Apr 9, 2010 10:09 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2016 9:14 pm
7238 Views
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FUZZY NUMBERS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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TAKING FUCKING APPLICATIONS AGAIN
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Posted:Oct 11, 2006 9:15 am
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2011 6:30 pm
10993 Views
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HEY EVERYBODY.....IT K. SINGLE AGAIN. JUST CANT GET THIS SHIT RIGHT. I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND MR RIGHT. HE WAS OLDER, DECENT JOB, CAR, APARTMENT, NICE CONVERSATION, NO SENSE OF STYLE BUT, AND A FREAK. I KNOW - LIKE WHATS THE PROBLEM. WELL, HE WAS THE NASTIEST MAN I KNOW (I DONT MEAN SEXUALLY) I WILL LET THE PICTURES TALK FOR THEMSELVES. I MEAN THE APARTMENT HADNT BEEN CLEANED SINCE LASSIE WAS A PUPPY. JUST DIRTY. IS 2004 AUTOMOBILE HAD FOOD (I HOPE), TRASH, JUST SHIT EVERYWHERE. I KNOW - K - HELP A BROTHA OUT. WELL I TRIED AND IT GOT WORSE. HE JUST WANTED A MAID I GUESS. WE TALKED ABOUT IT AND HE SAID WASNT NOTHING WRONG BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CAME OVER. WELL WHO THE FUCK WAS I!? WELL LADIES LET ME KNOW IF I WAS WRONG FOR THIS. I STOP WANTING TO GO TO HIS PLACE. I MADE HIM COME TO SEE ME AT MY APARTMENT WHERE I FELT MORE COMFORTABLE. I MEAN HE WAS BLESSED AND A FREAK.( A SISTA STILL GOT NEEDS) I WOULD FEED HIM AND THEN I WANTED TO GIVE HIM A BATH - YOU KNOW ON THE LOW, BUT ROMANTIC LIKE TO JUST MAKE SURE HE WAS COMLETELY CLEAN (I ALWAYS USE PROTECTION BUT SEEING THE APARTMENT MADE ME WONDER ABOUT THE BODY). HE BRAKES OUT WITH A DILDO - NOT NEW BUT USED. I FLIPPED OUT HIS NASTY ASS WASNT GOING TO USE THAT SHIT ON ME. WELL ITS OVER, WAY OVER. SO NOW IM DATING AGAIN!
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To link to this blog (much2deep4most) use [blog much2deep4most] in your messages.
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