Ramblings of a middle aged man
Just my journey through life, be it regarding sex or not. feel free to contact me through this blog.
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great neighbors
Posted:Jan 8, 2014 10:23 pm
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2014 3:41 pm

So I am outside today shoveling snow. This guy pulls up in a loader with a cab and pushes out the end of my driveway. People say that nice people are gone today.
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Posted:Jan 6, 2014 9:44 am
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2014 3:41 pm

I spent alot of the last couple of days shoveling. Sadly I see I will be starting over. Thats the thing about living in the Country. When the wind blows you can hear it. So for most of the night I would wake up and hear it blowing around the house. Warm in my bed with my trusty next to me. Its cold, white and stark outside. its a very different Winter this year. The wind has come out of all different directions. So I have drifts where I usually do not. Even the field behind me has drifts throughout it. So the snow blowing over all the same drifts give it a foggy appearance. As soon as the wind dies some the drifts come into view. It is like watching Snow geology at work. Plains and mountains appear from nothing. Soon the rivers will form as the melt starts.

Sweet dreams durning these cold night.
1 comment
Happy New Year
Posted:Dec 30, 2013 12:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2013 10:20 pm

Funny how quick the year slipped away this year. Did others feel like this or was it just me? This year was certainly a grab bag of feelings and experiences. After 11 years of waiting I finally got my Garage floor poured! Good bye Racoons messing up my stuff! My health remains good except for a scare in the summer when My Dr. thought I had Cancer. Turned out to be false.

The loss of my Mom in the spring has brought a new chapter in my life. On one hand I am still closing the estate. The other hand it has brought the realization of how few years I may have left. So thoughts of what to do and how to go about my life has been on my mind lately.

So much like Janus, the two headed Roman God, I find myself looking back over last year while looking forward to the new. So what do I hope for in 14? A better Garden and landscape. Power to my Garage. Some travel, most likely be myself to revisit a place my parents wanted me to go back to. Working on some projects around here. cleaning up and organizing the yard better. Thats the list for right now.
Happy Holidays
Posted:Dec 22, 2013 11:29 pm
Last Updated:Dec 25, 2013 10:22 pm

I am not much of a Christmas person. Long story but the quick version is working retail wrecked it. This hearing Christmas music after Halloween really wrecks the mood. But I must admit in the last couple of days it has felt more like Christmas.

So to all, Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year. Best wishes for the upcoming year.
Just in a funk
Posted:Dec 9, 2013 9:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2013 11:45 pm

Been kinda off lately. Things have been going on. Friendships falling apart. Dealing with estate stuff yet. My life just feels empty. I just feel like I am not connecting. Work is just work, my house is just coming along, The garden was a total failure this year, SIGH!. I just feel like at my age I should be able to point at something and say, I did that. I was a huge part of that.

Just feeling like a failure. Never quite able to get my foot in the Door. Learning enough to be half good, but never accepted as finally being good.

Sexually I feel the same way. So I am thinking about what a friend suggested. Make up a sexual bucket list and post it here. Does anyone think this would even begin to work? Just looking for some feed back.
The cold is coming
Posted:Dec 5, 2013 5:33 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2013 7:45 am

So cold weather has hit. Yesterday we got a little tease with some 57 degree warmth. I am sitting here with my coffee for the mourning remembering what a Shaman once told me. When you heat with wood you get double the heat. Once when you burn it, the first time when you cut it. A thought for us in the winter.

Off I go to cut some more wood......
Friendship with out the sex
Posted:Nov 25, 2013 11:47 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2013 5:26 am

What a month! Things have just spiraled out of control. Several "friendships" have melted away. Just out of the clear blue it seems, POOF and they are gone! I have such a hard time making friends. I have this flaw, well I have lots of flaws but the one that I will reveal, is that I will almost do anything to keep a friendship going. To salvage and repair a relationship I value. So I met this couple. I thought we could be friends. He was a hard nut to crack. When I finally thought I did I found out I guess I had not. I did more, I thought it had worked and that line of friend had been reached. Even the Friend word was used! Finally an event occurred which forced me to admit the truth. I was nothing more than a tool to be used when and how he wanted to use me.

At the same time an old FWB of mine started to recontact me. She was a flirt asking for this and that, promising more of the old days. Even said she needs a sugar daddy to help her. My reply to her was what do I get out of this? There is a cost and what are you willing to pay? The reply, she blocked my number.

I wrote a letter to the first one. The result was not even a reply back. A friend of mine said that in real life just as swinging, he had learned long ago that no reply, was the answer. It still means no.

The past weeks have been a gut wrenching ride. Lows, more lows and mental self abuse. How did I fail? What could I have done different? I sank deeper. I rarely slept, I got sick, then even worst.

No reply,is the reply. Took some time for that to soak in. So simple yet so true. The truth is, those two only liked me for what I had to give. Food, booze, paint, time, truck to haul, and my free time to fix their problems. Never did they offer to help me. Even help me when I worked on their projects. No, I do not care was the answer. I thought I could over come that barrier. Be my charming caring self and chip through the wall to someone I liked. Even admired for his lifestyle.

I have since found myself going through a couple more relationships. If something soon does not happen, then they to shall go away too. You can not make people like you. Like meeting for sex, you click or not. I guess one needs to pay attention more to the chemistry. Was I trying to buy my way through saying yes? Yes with my time, sweat and money. It pains me to say I think so. Not consciously but deep down I think I was. That scares the hell out of me.

So off I go with more awareness now and more questions for myself.
Posted:Nov 19, 2013 6:30 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2013 11:05 pm

I think the one thing no one talks about is desire. Desire can take forms. There is the lover desire. This is two people in love that want one another. There is sexual desire. This is that which attracts others to you. It may also be when you have played with someone before and want them again

So do you desire someone?
Posted:Nov 17, 2013 11:36 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2013 6:38 am

Lately I have seen several couples post about respect. So I asked 2 of them what respect means to them. For a couple it seems to mean asking nicely and going through the husband for permission to play. It means understanding that often a single guy does not get the Wife alone. There are safety issues and often the Hubby does like to watch. Respect means that you may call her dirty names in the bedroom but she still is a lady. It means thanking the couple at the end of it all.

But as a single guy what does it mean? Lately I think the behavior on here has been terrible. Woman chatting then just out of the blue dropping out. Women not meeting. sad to say women just looking to have stuff done for free. I understand the numbers you deal with of idiot males. However you acting the same way just brings more of the same behavior. It does seem like nice guys finish last. Now before the screaming begins, a story is in order. Last summer a woman I talked to several times here asked me if I could roof. I replied I could. She then asked me to do her garage roof. Simple enough roof, one peek. Before I could even ask anything else, she bluntly tells me there is no Sex, no beer no meals and no pay for doing this. When I told Ms. sunnin no way, she flipped out on me. All you guys want is sex she told me. No, how about some respect? We have never meet, never went out and you want all this for FREE?? Do I have IDIOT on my forehead?
Is it really out of the question to make a meal and provide drinks?

It amazes me how much people seem to focus on on one thing. In the last few weeks I have been told I am to old, to bald, to small, not thick enough, white, to hairy, facial hair, body hair. so I guess we focus on one thing and make it a deal breaker. I do understand some of it. Hey weight, smoking, race can be deal breakers. But really do you think because I am slightly balding it makes me less of a great lover?
Are you that shallow to think only a guy with a huge penis can satisfy you? Do you think only a twenty year old can make you happy? Or is it you just can not handle an experienced lover?

Respect is a two way street. Which way are you going?
Posted:Nov 16, 2013 2:47 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2013 6:42 am

In the last couple of years, specially this week I have been hit with the age thing several times. What amazes me is how woman just a couple years younger than me can say I am to old but then they are after a person 10, 15 even 20 years younger than they are. I am at a loss for an explanation. I do understand how many guys are out of shape at 50. However I post a torso picture so that people can see what I look like.

With age should come experience. That experience should make a better partner. I also understand that everyones experience are different. If you find that those young people are unable to meet or are very skilled. Why would you not look at someone a couple of years older than yourself?

Maybe one day you will find yourself on the to old side, then what??
this week
Posted:Nov 16, 2013 2:28 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2013 6:42 am

This week was my birthday and the last couple of weeks have been full of all kinds of rejection. So for the next week I will be looking at different thoughts about age, size, respect for starters. My profile will also be changing. Hand on it could be a bumpy ride!
just depressing
Posted:Nov 11, 2013 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2013 11:36 pm

Well another year older and another year of disappointment. I guess I must be to old to be desirable to anyone on here. In some ways this place can drive me nuts at times. Be respectful and it gets you no where. Just seems I am always what someone does not want, Body hair, balding, not hung enough, white etc, etc. Many on here are just talk. Thats great to start with but sooner or later the rubber needs to hit the road. So at my age is it just hopeless to be here??
1 comment
Another ever notice
Posted:Nov 6, 2013 2:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2021 3:23 am

Ever notice how many couples cams are really just some guy pulling on his dick? Just a thought for today.

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