Flirts, Hotlist, Friends, or a message?
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Posted:Dec 8, 2015 1:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2015 2:53 pm
11978 Views
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When I first got on this website, flirts and hotlisting went from amusing to annoying. I couldn't understand, especially with Gold members sending them why an introductory message didn't follow. Over time I just accepted flirts and hotlisting for what they were; sometimes automated bots, shyness, just looking at the goods, etc. I've never sent a flirt myself but I do hotlist sometimes so I can keep track of women who've intrigued me and sometimes those hotlistings turn into women to chat with on a regular basis.
Friend(ing) is a bit of a different story. Sometimes these friend requests are automated and I tend to ignore them. I take a request more seriously if I've chatted with a woman and then receive a friend request. I'll sometimes accept requests from couples but NEVER men or TS/TG as I'm only interested in women. Me, I ALWAYS send a message if I'm interested and disregard flirting.
The problem with friend requests is frankly I don't want to be one of a hundred, thousand, or million. I know FriendFinder-x gives benefits to those with a large list of friends but to me that defeats the purpose of friends. When I accept a friend request, I'm hoping there's a chance of eventually meeting by talking regularly. If, after time, I don't receive contact (or being ignored) then I remove that individual from my friend list. Even if there is a long distance between us, so long as there is periodic contact I'm OK with being friends. In this case, quality is definitely better than quantity, at least for me.
Just being "real" 
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What is "discrete", "descrete", "descent", "DISCREET"?
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Posted:Nov 13, 2015 6:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2021 11:24 am
7888 Views
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There are many misused words here and the one that I notice the most is "discreet". I'm not here to judge why a person uses that word but spelling it incorrectly says a lot. Now all of us misspell a word sometimes (and it drives me crazy when I catch an error after posting) but the meaning\intent is just as important.
I don't use the word "discreet" in my profile (the proper spelling) but I do consider myself being discreet here. It doesn't mean I'm cheating, doing something I'm not supposed to do, etc. but it means that I don't want others knowing about my private life because I'm a private person. I looked up the definition of "discreet" and found the following:
judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect.
That doesn't mean cheating but I'm sure those who cheat here (and elsewhere) would use that word and it would be accurate for them. I personally would not deal with a married or attached woman (unless I receive expressed permission from the partner, which hasn't happened yet  , but to each their own as they are responsible for their actions. But for those who are "discreet" and not in a relationship it would be unfair to judge them just because they use that word.
A real thought from a real man
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The end for standard members?
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Posted:Oct 9, 2015 6:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2015 6:11 am
8093 Views
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FriendFinder-x has made a number of changes over the past few months affecting standard members. No longer can you read an email sent to you (unless that member allows standard contacts). Limited to 5 IMs per day. Can't view previous emails you've received or sent.
FriendFinder-x has a right to make changes but I don't think it fair to make them retroactive. For instance, what's the point (no pun intended) of earning points? I have to admit I took advantage of that but as a standard member your points are really useless. I also don't think it's fair to not be able to view emails I was able to previously view.
When FriendFinder-x first started making changes, I contacted them. Now I knew as a non-paying member I couldn't say much but after contacting them they did restore my points. But as I mentioned earlier there isn't much you can do with them now. It's clear FriendFinder-x's business model is changing and so the standard member will soon become extinct.
I broke a promise I made years ago by purchasing a membership (I said I would never purchase one again). It's going to be very temporary (i.e. not renewing it) but since I've made contact with women here I wanted to stay in contact with I bought the membership. If you're standard you're going to have to make a decision on the value of the membership or dropping from FriendFinder-x.
Just being "real"
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Not all women on FriendFinder-x are "bad" :)
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Posted:Aug 9, 2015 3:20 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2015 5:07 pm
8443 Views
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So after my experience with the bad apple (hornyhotmilf15) I continued on with my FriendFinder-x experiences. Previously I saw a 25y/o in my area view my cam. She watched rather intently but didn't IM me and I didn't IM her. After I came she clicked off. I moused over her profile and saw that she wasn't interested in anyone over 34 (I'm 54). I've had other young women watch my cams repeatedly so it's wasn't a big deal. However when I saw her on IM (after my run-in with the other member) I decided to contact the 25 y/o. My introductory IM:
Me: Hi, I saw you watching my cam before and hope you enjoyed it. I read your preferences and respect them. You're welcome to view my cam again if you'd like.
She immediately replied (which is something given how bad IM is here!) and we began chatting. I made it a point not to entice her into meeting and while camming we began to get to know each other. She told me about her fantasies being with an older man and she enjoyed my cam. I told her that I wouldn't pressure her but if she ever felt comfortable to meet then we could talk about it. She's watched my cam a number of times since.
So for those of you who feel you should never contact someone if you don't fit their preferences, here's an example of how that doesn't apply. True she "approached" me first but there must have been something to catch her eye for her to reply to me. It doesn't mean that we'll end up in bed but there's noting wrong with chatting so long as both parties keep things in perspective. Once again, if a man approaches with respect it would be nice to return that respect.
Just being "real" again
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Suffering an FriendFinder-x relapse thanks to hornyhotmilf15 (not a compliment)
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Posted:Aug 9, 2015 2:52 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2015 5:57 am
8848 Views
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After realizing a few years ago that some women on FriendFinder-x aren't worth getting upset with, I thought I was making progress. I've really enjoyed camming and there are some women who, even though I may never meet them in person, are fun to chat with especially while I'm camming.. I've had numerous women enjoy my cams, pics, and videos and for those who don't like then that's their prerogative. However there are some women who not only lack manners but are also conceited, rude, and borderline racists as well. I've never called out a member before but after my interaction with her I would suggest any man to stay away from hornyhotmilf15. So here's the story:
I noticed hornyhotmilf15 and thought her pics were nice. Never contacted her and as a standard member I can't see much anyway. Saw her on cam and admittedly she has a nice body. I saw her on IM so I decided to tell her how much I liked the cam. Conversation went something like this:
Me: Just wanted to tell you your cam was very nice
Her: Thank you.
Me: My cam isn't as hot as yours but you're welcome to watch if you'd like
Her: Not interested but continue watching mine.
Now I thought that last comment was rather conceited but I let it go. The next reply from her (and I hadn't replied back) pushed me:
Her: Black dick!, Gross!
OK, so you don't like black men, that's fine. But to make that unsolicited remark (I made no attempt previously to convince her to try black, that's not my style), just wasn't needed and clearly told me she finds nothing appealing about black men. Now I know some people are against any interracial contact (yes she's white), but if you're not interested just say so and let it go. In my case since I didn't press her on her preferences she could have simply said sorry but I prefer white men or just not reply at all.
So I needed a comback. Since I know French and "gross" in French means "big" I came back with the following reply:
Me: Thanks for saying that, gross means big in French and I've been called a BBC. Thanks for the compliment.
If she didn't jump off a cliff after that reply she was close LOL. She starts calling me names and that point I suffered my relapse and told her to " stay with needle dick, stupid bitch". The guy was small but it's the first and only time I called a woman a bitch here but I honestly felt she deserved it for her classless remarks. So I blocked her and hoping she's done the same to me.
For the women out there who feel they've been mistreated by men here, don't assume every man is the same and also don't feel that if you're not interested that you have to be rude and classless like hornyhotmilf15. If the guy is rude to you that's one thing, but if he approaches you with respect and he doesn't fit your preferences\physical appearance, just politely say "thanks but I'm not interested" or don't reply at all. You could also do us men a favor and stop viewing our profiles as if you're interested. I've been told by women that I accept rejection too easily but I'm always going to respect those preferences as it makes it easier for everyone involved to move on. That being said there's a silver lining with another member that I'll talk about in another post.
Just being Real
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FriendFinder-x as a form of entertainment?
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Posted:Mar 1, 2015 6:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2015 9:35 pm
9218 Views
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During my FriendFinder-x time here I've learned to appreciate those who are sincere (regardless of meeting or having sex) vs those who are insincere (fake profiles, broken meeting dates, etc).. There's a point where you can't let people bother you and especially over the last year I've been able to better handle those insincere people. Doesn't mean I don't block them or sometimes send an email but I think my time here and my interaction with people is handled better.
I've talked to some women who have stated that they're here only for "entertainment". Some have stated that they like chatting, watching videos and cams and have no intentions of meeting). Others have stated they just want to "see if they still have it" and attract people. The former I understand, the latter I don't.
Overall I couldn't understand why someone would be here only for "entertainment" but something that has served me well over the last 53 yrs is that when I hear a comment I don't agree with I literally look in the mirror and ask "is that me"? When I consider that most of the time I'm here I'm camming for the women and enjoy the chats and comments, and see myself as helping them become aroused, create fantasies, improve\assist their sex life (and I've been told this), I began to realize that I'm also here for some type of entertainment and now better understand why some women say that.. I definitely don't agree with those who are deceitful and play with emotions of others but FriendFinder-x as a form of entertainment for some is a plausible theory.
Stating your intentions upfront will always (for me) create an environment where things can be kept in perspective. I'm never going to try to convince someone to change their mind knowing I wouldn't appreciate someone attempting the same to me so I'll continue my approach of keeping things in perspective, understand the environment and focus on honesty, respect, and integrity. I think so long as I continue to do that and other FriendFinder-x members show the same when interacting with me then my time here can be "entertaining"
Just a "Real" thought.
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Bi\Gay men approaching straight men
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Posted:Jan 25, 2015 7:00 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2021 11:25 am
9861 Views
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I'm sure this will sound like venting (or something that has probably been discussed on FriendFinder-x previously), but I'm wondering why Bi\Gay\DL men continually try to pursue straight men? This normally happens to me when I'm camming and as much as I try to be polite to everyone, I'm never going to be comfortable stroking on cam for men. I have to say to all of those men (including those as part of M/F couples), that "complimenting" me on my cam does not flatter me nor does it in anyway increases any desire for me to experiment. How much clearer can I state in my profile that I'm 100% STRAIGHT??. I'm sure there's a group of these men who have been "successful" in convincing a straight man to try Bi but I WILL NEVER FALL INTO THAT CATAGORY!! I LOVE WOMEN!!
Now I also understand the folklore and curiosity of the black man's penis. I don't think I'm a BBC but I've been told this by men and women so maybe it's true. (I'm sure some men and even myself may want to compare their dick size to others and see how they measure up). However, a man telling me I'm a BBC does nothing to my ego. Factor in the women who have no pictures in their profile (or even knowing if it's legitimate) and it makes camming a bit of a challenge. I continue to try to give the pictureless female profiles the benefit of a doubt but if you're a man and you're on the other team you will certainly tip yourself while chatting.
In short, I enjoy camming for women and will continue to do so. I appreciate the comments from them and hopefully it will lead to enjoyable chatting if not meeting in person. I'm not going to make antagonizing comments to those men who are approaching me; I will simply tell you I'm not interested (and my profile clearly states that) and remove you from my viewing list and block you.
Just being "Real"
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Face pics
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Posted:Jul 4, 2014 7:23 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 10:47 pm
9474 Views
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When I interact with FriendFinder-x members, I normally don't respond to profiles without any pics but if I'm contacted by a woman that doesn't have any pics I'll simply ask. I never ask for a face pic initially because frankly I'm more interested in the body first. After further chatting a face pic is a reasonable request on both ends.
But what about the people who ask for a face pic (or want to see your face on cam) yet they don't have ANY pics or OFFER any pics. This is where I draw the line. Whenever I approach anyone I offer a face pic; if they approach me and send a face pic I will return the favor. However I think it's unfair and unreasonable for someone without any pics (let alone w/o a face pic) to demand one from you when they haven't offered anything in a first interaction.
Oh, and if you're going to send a face pic, how about making sure it's of reasonably good quality. Not asking for a model shoot but I don't think it should so small that you have to expand it then it becomes distorted because of low resolution.
Just a "real" thought
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Bareback the first time?
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Posted:Jan 12, 2014 8:33 pm
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 10:47 pm
8926 Views
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As I chat with some couples\women initially I find that most feel it's important for them to go bareback the first time. Given the diseases out there I find it's a bit of a turn off without knowing someone and feeling comfortable to insist on going bareback. Once a comfort level is established then considering going bareback can be an option.
So for those of you who insist on going bareback, why? Is it that important for a first meeting? I certainly agree that wants and needs should be addressed but that should go both ways. For me, I will NEVER go bareback with anyone I've just met the first time but I'll consider it after establishing comfort.
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FriendFinder-x webcam thoughts and musing
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Posted:May 25, 2012 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2015 5:25 am
9170 Views
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I've been camming on FriendFinder-x a little bit for about a month and some observations came to my mind:
I always knew there were significantly more men that women here but if the number of cammmers are any indication, the ratio is way out of whack! Generally I see over 1000 men camming vs less than 60 women, about a 12 to 1 ratio. If the ratio is the same for active members then the women truly have an advantage over the men.
I've been having a problem with my filter. I'm not interested in men so having them watch me isn't my desire either. But it seems no matter how I set my filter men are able to get through. It looks like my best approach is to allow all then remove those I don't want to view. My webcam filter is set the same as my mail and view filter and I don't get email or views from men so I'm not certain why the problem with camming.
Because of the ratio of men to women here, not as many women are going to view me. I might get 5-10 views in the hour I'll spend online but when I go to my view page I see many more hits on my profile. I'm guessing not all of them viewed the cam but it still seems odd. I do know that FriendFinder-x has privacy settings that allows one to view without showing in the hits but that doesn't seem to be the case here. # of hits aren't going to my head, just that it increases by as much as it does even though it's not consistent with webcam views. Are more women voyeurs or lurkers then men? I'm starting to get that impression.
When all is said and done I'm starting to think I'm a closet exhibitionist (LO . I have to admit I enjoy it when I see women viewing me and the comments they send. However, with the drought that I'm in I'd like to put on a "live" show for a woman (or two, or three and then some.
Just some "real" thoughts
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How's your sense of humor? - A Playboy joke
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Posted:Mar 4, 2012 3:55 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2013 2:47 am
5108 Views
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Reading my latest issue of Playboy (the only magazine of which I have a description) and I combed through the Party Jokes page. Some of the jokes are corny of course but one made me think of FriendFinder-x:
Q: What becomes easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A: Women
I chuckled and then thought that it does seem the "a little extra padding", "ample", "large", are the prevailing body types for women on FriendFinder-x. Is that accurate?
I've stated to women (on and offline) that I understand most women struggle with describing themselves and I'm sure part of it is self-esteem and another part being societal pressures. I've tried to emphasize in my profile that nice-looking women come in all size but I do have preferences (as I'm sure they do).
So, how "accurate" is this joke?
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Why do people post pictures sideways?
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Posted:Feb 20, 2012 5:04 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 10:47 pm
4379 Views
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There's a rotate button when you upload a picture, why do women (and I'm sure men but I'm not looking for a man! just upload a pic without any regard to the orientation. I put that pet peeve up there with poorly written profiles (various misspellings,
People, it doesn't take a lot of time to post a good profile (unless it's fake but that doesn't happen on FriendFinder-x does it? (LO) Consider that you want people to see your pics so the quality and orientation of it is just as important as the content of the pic.
Just a "real" thought
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To link to this blog (realnicedik4u) use [blog realnicedik4u] in your messages.
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