What's new (s) ???
|
Posted:Jul 12, 2006 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2006 5:45 pm
7482 Views
|
I'm alive and well!
*Very* well I should say!
Except one thing.
I've decided that I hate the evening news guy here.
I hate him!
Bulge says he's OK. I say he's a wanker.
His name is Campbell; I don't know if that's his last name or his first name). He has these weird waggling eyebrows and is completely overdramatic.
Dude!
You're a news anchor in New Zealand fer fuck's sake!
Nothing important happens here!
Chill the fuck out.
This may as well have been his broadcast yesterday.
"Good evening, New Zealand.
I'm Campbell, and here's the nation's top stories.
Today in Auckland, millions of people,
(ahem, ummm I mean dozens of people)
are already outraged at the rocketing sky high prices of petrol. And now it's getting worse
So.
Much.
Worse.
The price of petrol at the Gas 'n' Go soared another 2 dollars per liter today!
(*cough* I mean 2 cents)
A increase that will spell DISASTER AND BANKRUPTCY throughout the city! Tens of thousands of people will no longer be able to afford their homes!
Ummm I mean tens of people won't be able to afford their morning lattes...
One angry protester took to the streets rallying others in support of tax relief for the hardworking middle class citizens of this great country of ours!
But nobody really paid attention... and nothing really... happened...
And today in the OTHER news! A horrifying sight... dozens of weather-beaten sheep covered in the fierce winter's snow crossed the street today. Passengers in the veering cars mercilessly honked at them as they came precariously close to TOTAL AND UTTER DEVASTATION!
ahem, ummm actually, total and utter boredom. As they sat in their cars waiting for the sheep to get out of the way.
As the sheep bahhhed.... and then nothing really...happened.
OK! And lastly in OTHER news today, there was a deadly accident on the South West Motorway today!
Yes, I know there's only one Motorway.
Nobody was actually killed, but someone was desperately close to being mildly bruised. On the knee at that... a crucial joint, as we all know.
A steady, cold rain fell as police struggled to find any clue at all as to the cause. As the police completely closed all two lanes, they finally exhumed a Burger Fuel wrapper from the wreckage.
*cue picture of "wreckage", consisting of a bent fender on a 1993 Toyota Corolla*
It seems that the "Double Super Bastard" burger was too much for its fated driver to handle while operating the monstrous vehicle, and caused the driver to rear end the car in front of it causing complete chaos on the road.
A Bastard indeed.
Indeed.
*Waggling eyebrows furrowed in thought*
That's all for tonight, New Zealand.
This is Campbell signing off.
Stay strong, New Zealand.
And be well."
Wanker....!
A
 |
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
100 Promises To You
|
Posted:Jun 24, 2006 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2008 8:05 am
8436 Views
|
100 Promises
This is the last entry in this chapter of the book.
I'm finally going home today.
I don't feel any inclination to write down 100 things about myself nobody will remember. So fuck tradition... If you don't know me by now, you haven't been reading.
If you have been with me the past year, you have seen the amazing difference love has made in my life.
You have seen how lucky one girl can be.
You know all about the man who makes my life complete and how difficult it's been for us to be apart.
It seems that everyday I write some of my wedding vows.
However, I will never have enough time to say them all on the day we actually get married.
In fact, I'm quite sure I'll probably be too teary to speak coherently at all.
So this is for you, in case I forget to tell you.
Honey, you should know
that I could never go on
without you.
I can't believe we made it.
I'm on my way...
I love you.
1. I will never make you turn off the TV before the rugby match is over.
2. I will always give you the last bit of wine in the bottle.
3. I will try my hardest not to steal your pillow during the night (but I probably still will!).
4. I will make our house a home.
5. I will hold your hand across the table while we're waiting for whatever we ordered for dinner.
6. I will take care of you even when you swear you don't need me to.
7. I won't tell you the ending if you haven't seen the movie.
8. I will love your as if they were my own.
9. I might be tempted to beat them as such as well, but I won't.
10. I will never call you an embarrassingly cutesy pet name.
11. I will drink scotch with you and your dad.
12. I will be your permanent picture-frame-hanging, shelf-leveling, Christmas-light-stringing assistant.
13. I will never try on more than 3 things in the fitting room if we go shopping together.
14. I will cook your steaks medium.
15. I think of you first.
16. I will send naughty messages to your mobile to make a boring day go by faster.
17. I will never expect you to take out the garbage, but I'll be thankful when you do.
18. I will never ask you if an outfit makes me look fat.
19. I will kiss you when you say I look beautiful.
20. The first piece that comes out of my studio in NZ will hang on your wall.
21. I will trust your judgment.
22. I will let you do your own thing.
23. I will include you in all my big schemes.
24. I will always make you my first priority.
25. I won't make you talk about something that's bothering you until you are ready.
26. I will always bet on your success.
27. I will never criticize you in front of others.
28. I will, however, embarrass you with compliments at will.
29. I will not take it personally that your memory is fucked; I will remind you of the things I want you to remember.
30. I will never ask you to hold my purse.
31. I will try to make you know everyday that you are loved.
32. I will go along for a ride to the post office or the bank.
33. I will never do anything that I know would hurt you.
34. I will thank you first if I ever win an award that necessitates an acceptance speech.
35. I will not ask you what shoes go with my outfit.
36. I will make sure to tell you just how handsome you are.
37. If you get into trouble, I'll help you get out of it no matter how you got into it.
38. I will ask you for your opinion, and not then dismiss it.
39. I will always wear my wedding ring.
40. I will sign both our names on the card.
41. I won't go to bed angry.
42. I will bring you Panadol and water when you're hung over.
43. I will be honest with you.
44. I will motivate you when you're sick of it all.
45. I will let you correct my spelling as much as you want.
46. I will do my best to be someone you'd be proud to be seen with.
47. I will never make you ask me 13 times "What's wrong?" before I tell you.
48. If we're out, I will make sure that it's quite clear to anyone who might be interested that I adore the man I married, I'm going home with said husband, and that husband is you.
49. I will never say "I told you so".
50. I will always make sure we're together on our anniversary.
51. I will always do my best to make sure your know that we love them.
52. If you ever get in a barfight, I will jump on the bastard too and then kick his friend in the balls.
53. When we're on a trip, I'll navigate and I'll drive if you get tired.
54. I'll take care of my health so I can live as long a life with you as possible.
55. I will laugh with you, not at you.
56. I will always save the first and last dance for you.
57. I will try my best not to be jealous or possessive.
58. I will smile with you at your ' weddings, and mourn with you at your parents' funerals.
59. I will keep the inner workings of our relationship between us.
60. I will never demean you.
61. I will help you achieve your professional goals.
62. I will try not to wake you if I have to get up in the middle of the night.
63. I will notice when you get your hair cut or dress sharp.
64. I will never cheat on you. With anyone.
65. I will warm up dinner for you if you get home late from work.
66. When I'm away from you, I'll always talk to you before I go to sleep.
67. I will keep you warm on cold winter nights.
68. I will never forget your birthday.
69. I will do my best to keep our connection strong on all levels.
70. I will embrace my new home and country without forgetting my old one.
71. I will let you love me.
72. I will talk to you if I'm unhappy with anything that's going on.
73. I will be the best mother to our I can possibly be.
74. I will respect you always.
75. I will do the best I can for our family financially.
76. I will not hold grudges.
77. I will master the difference between toast bread and sandwich bread; I will not however, eat spaghetti on either.
78. I will be thankful everyday that you're in my life.
79. I will take lots of pictures that we can look back through when we're old.
80. I will let you do things your way.
81. I will play footsies with you under the dinner table when the are on your nerves.
82. I will let you sleep in.
83. I will never take you for granted.
84. I will take joy in your successes.
85. I will never be spiteful.
86. I will kiss your forehead when you are sick.
87. I will try in little ways every day to make you smile.
88. I will never drink and drive.
89. I will ask for help when I need it.
90. I will be supportive of your dreams and open to your ideas.
91. I will fix your coffee when I get up before you.
92. I will make sure we live a life worth reminiscing about.
93. I will cry with you when you're hurting.
94. I will hold you when you're tired.
95. I will smile when you're happy.
96. I will make sure you know how much you meant to me every day.
97. I will always be grateful for what we have.
98. I will do my share.
99. I will love you with complete abandon.
100. I will never let you go.
See you soon... XOXOXO
A
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
Happy Birthday Bulging Boy!
|
Posted:Jun 23, 2006 5:46 am
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2006 5:33 pm
10034 Views
|
Well today is awesome!
I'm graduating at 11 AM today (Finally!)
and
I leave for the airport in 29 hours.
and most importantly...
It's
Bulge's
Birthday
!!!!!
Please join in wishing our awesome, smart, handsome, caring, unique, creative, funny Kiwi friend a very happy birthday.
I won't tell you how old he is, but be assured at 12 : 01am Auckland time he declared he's "a really old cunt"
Did I mention how poetic he is?
Thank you very much!
-His adoring bride
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
What Should I Pack?
|
Posted:Jun 21, 2006 9:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2006 12:45 pm
8178 Views
|
The final packing process begins today! (Yay!!!!)
In my living room, I have two big, empty, rolling duffle bags, and a carryon to fill right up to the Qantas limit.... Which is in kilograms so fucked if I know how heavy the damn things should be.
My indispensible laptop is coming too in it's own little bag, of course!
It's summer here in NY, but it's winter in New Zealand so I have to pack all warmer stuff. There's no snow in Auckland, and it gets down around 40F worst case. But it RAINS like a bitch there this time of year.
I have to bring ...
warm stuff
rain stuff
sexy stuff
home stuff
presents fo the
presents for Handsome's birthday
a baby gift
'going out' outfits
'staying in' outfits
'wear for 5 minutes before you are nakkie' outfits
and all sorts of other stuff...
*sigh*
I need help!
SO what should I pack????
Help me!!!!!!
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Tiller, I think you've been scammed...
|
Posted:Jun 20, 2006 8:06 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2008 1:25 am
14540 Views
|
I remember sitting in lecture as a 1L. The last class we had on Thursday was Legal Research. I hated this class because it went till 5pm, which cut into Happy Hour 4-7 at the bar across the street. Fuck I hated that class! It was so boring, all these stupid indexes and case digests, pocket parts, shepardizing and blue booking.
FUCK it was boring!
But it was a useful class.
Useful because it taught me the basics of all governmental reporting.
Including vital statistics.
A lightbulb went off this morning while I was laying in bed ...
(A rare, but usually very productive occurrence for this blonde)
The State Department.
The Archives.
Here is a primer for all of those who don't really know alot about how the State Department works. The State Department is in charge of helping all nationals (citizens and permanent residents) overseas. In the case of the death of a national in a foreign country, the foreign country's hospital works with the US Consulate.
If Brian were gravely ill, requiring the surgeries he spoke of in his call to Tiller, he would have been in a tertiary care facility with cardiac surgery capacity. All tertiary care facilities report immediately to the Consulate that they have a US national in their care. In fact, most hospitals will not even admit a foreigner without his passport information (and certainly wouldnt have kept him for weeks without a guaranty of payment). Even if Brian didn't have his passport on him at first, he would have been able to provide enough information for them to contact the US Consulate for assistance. They wouldn't have made arrangements for international long distance telephone use without knowing that information.
You know why?
Insurance money.
No hospital is going to do surgeries on a foreign national without being promised recompense for their work. And any english speaking visiting patient (who was able to use the phone) would have been viewed with starry eyes by administration.
In the event of a national's demise, the Department of State is the office that issues the death certificate. It is actually one of the department's most critical functions. Without it, life insurance and legal matters would be held up for months by inefficient local foreign governments. The State Department also usually issues these death certificates very quickly because they need to be issued in order to the deceased's remains to be transported for burial. The only certificates not filed by the Department of State are those of active military killed in combat; their certificates are filed by the Department of Defense.
I found the information of the State Department's website (you can too under Travel dot State dot Gov, and then under Consular Affairs). The State Department is also linked with the National Archives, which has an independent research office. I contacted a researcher who specializes in genealogy and records of foreign deaths and I was informed that all reports were electronically filed with the Passport Office (regardless of whether the national actually was carrying a valid passport at the time). If the family had been notified, then the family would have had to go through the US Consulate so that the deceased remains could be transported.
I was then given the number for the vital statistics branch of the Passport Office. I spoke to a very nice woman who was very accommodating. Since all Foreign Death Certificates are Federal records, they are made available to all American nationals under the Freedom of Information Act. I told the woman of the circumstances surrounding Brian's death and she did several searches for me.
With not-so-surprising results...
Not one country in Asia, nonetheless Southeast Asia, has reported a death of a foreign national in the past 7 days even remotely matching the age, description or the first or middle name "Brian", "Bryan", "Brien", or "Ryan".
Not one.
I figured that maybe it just hadn't been reported yet, but my contact was doubtful. The process of the final certificate can take up to 4 weeks in third world countries such as Sierra Leone and Nicaragua, or when the family has not claimed the body. However, if the family was involved there would have to be at least an electronic filing so that transport could be planned.
I was informed that countries in Asia, are generally very quick about turning around death certificates. The average time is 2-3 days at most, the same as the average US hospital. With the exception of North Korea, the State Department has acceptable or even positive relations with most Asian countries because Asian countries demand on American tourists and American business for their large export market. The worst thing for a country is a US State Department Travel Warning; it literally kills the tourism economy there and American business involvement.
Now I was trained to always look at the facts.
The facts do not seem at this point to support the story that has been put forth.
So before we all form a conga line of lemmings, posting and linking our thoughts and prayers for someone who doesnt appear to have died (if he ever existed at all)...
I think that maybe we should just offer our silent prayers to someone who really needs it... Tillerbabe.
Because either:
1. She's completely mental and made the whole thing up,
Or much more likely
2. She was fooled by a person who either
A ) Intentionally capitalized on her well-publicized emotional vulnerabilities for his personal satisfaction, or
B ) Got into a situation he didn't know how to get out of and felt he needed to fake his death in order to end an unhealthy relationship.
All of these above situations are really sad, and I'm very sorry to have to break the news of my research findings.
My heart goes out to Tillerbabe, because this won't be an easy thing to recover from.
I will offer this disclaimer however; I am not representing myself to have first hand knowledge of the situation; only a person who knew Brian, knew that Brian was the "Brian" that we knew, has seen him in person previously, and now has seen his remains with their own eyes at his funeral can honestly say they know the truth. So that rules out *everyone*, including me. I have only done as much investigating as an educated independent outsider can. Just as I was disappointed in seeing everyone jump on Dig Dug for his opinion, I would really hate to see people jump to the conclusion that Tiller made this story up, no matter how bad it looks. Also it's possible that somehow my research is flawed and that some evidence will come back that substantiates the story that Tiller was fed.
I, however, have satisfied my own curiosity and have made up my mind as to what the situation really is.
I encourage you to do the same.
Also I will state for the record that I am *nauseated* with people who are exploiting this issue for comments under the guise of serving as the funeral guestbook. It's disgusting, and you know who you are.
Anyone wishing to go through the same research steps should start at the Department of State Website and click through till you get to "Foreign Deaths of US Nationals", then follow the links for the reports, the National Archives and then "Hire an Independent Researcher". They are very helpful people in that office.
I am always open to hear what anyone has to say, and would be very happy to post any additional factual information anyone can substantiate in this matter.
I hope you see I have made an effort to approach this with a factual eye and remove the crazy amount of emotion that has been evident on other posts. I hope this puts some of the furor to rest. I will leave this post open for everyone's comments, but I will not be responding publicly.
Have a good day, Blogville... and let's put this whole thing to rest. It's enough already.
A
|
|
|
25
Comments
|
|
|
Posted:Jun 16, 2006 10:06 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2008 9:01 am
10689 Views
|
Well, I'm coming up close to my 100th post, which will most likely be the last post on this blog. I'm likely starting a new one that will chronicle this New York girl's misadventures in Auckland and my adjustment to life over there. It may or may not be on this site, I haven't decided. I'm pretty much done here in Long Island as of now, but am waiting on graduation next Friday, June 23rd. Although I will be returning to New York to work in September for a few weeks, everyone knows my home is already in New Zealand with Bulge.
I'm leaving the day after graduation, which just happens to also be Bulge's Birthday. Yay!
I've been working on this post for awhile. People often stumble onto my blog and want to know the whole story, so this post gives it in one post. It's like the 'director's cut' of my blog and what was going on in my head and what the story was behind some of the posts, and also give new people the background on me, my friends, how Bulge and I met, and how we struggled with a long distance relationship over the course of the past 8 months. Settle in, this is the whole story of a blonde's journey from rock bottom to success. It's a complete retrospective of the past year. Looking back I feel it deserves it's very own "E! True Bloggywood Story".
Bulge just posted about how the time has been ticking away and we're down to [post 390512]. It's not the first time we've counted down however. Bulge and I reminisce about that first countdown back in December and those first days together all the time.
But how did it all start? What were you like before he came along?
I started my blog almost a year ago, I spent the summer of 2005 in the Hamptons in a sharehouse which was a constant party. I had moved out from the apartment I shared with my live in boyfriend at the time and was looking to escape. Right before that I had left a career as an attorney and divorced my husband. I had gone back to school and was in a state of transition. I was initially very self conscious about writing. I wrote my very first rant about dick pics. Had some fun flirting with bloggers and playing name that tune with lyrics back and forth. Mindless stuff mostly... summer was a blast and I dated a lot of people, taunted our poolboy, drank my face off, smoked serious quantities of pot, skinny dipped and flirted with the cops who came to make us turn down our music. I was an A F F sex kitten, 115 emails a day, sexy pics up, 347 network friends, 9256 times in the hotlist, more dates than I could handle... I was like being one of those bot girls, only I was real. It was fun, and great rehab for my badly damaged ego.
But summer ended, and with September, came angst. I got tired of the hookup routine and wanted more from my life. I ended all the superficial relationships that were getting the best of me. For my 30th post I revealed 30 Things About Me.
I decided to come clean with myself and with everyone else. I wrote at length about my struggle with commitment. Only to discover right after that the person I had been dating for weeks, unbeknownst to me, was yet another in a string of married men. That did a number on my head. I told all men to fuck off at that point and did the famous He's Just Not That Into You post. I withdrew back into my shell, disappointed in what was going on in my life. I left the site completely.
But I came back a month later. Come November, I moved out to a little deserted beach town for the winter. I was resigned to take a break and just concentrate on finishing school and chilling out, but it was lonely. So I started to blog more and one night I was sitting out on my deck alone and I had a random moment where I truly felt as if everything would be OK, like the universe was telling me "You're on the right track."
I took that as a sign, and accepted a few dates that week, thinking maybe one of them would be "The One". I hated dating and started to second guess the decisions I had made in the past. I started to wonder, "What if...?". And I posted on Googling My Ex. This struck a chord with a bunch of people and all of a sudden I actually had people commenting on my blog. Bulge was one of them. [blog travelingintexas] was one of them. Trav emailed me after that post and we started chatting.
Friday night, November 11th, was a fateful night. I was supposed to go out with some random guy in the city. We had been talking for a few weeks, and although I was kinda skittish about going out with anyone, I agreed to meet him in the city to have dinner and watch the Islander game at the pub. He really seemed like someone who was pretty cool and he had always been the one to pursue me so I thought "What the hell...OK" I drove for three hours in rush hour traffic to Manhattan, and with no warning whatsoever he stood me up.
And that was it.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I was done.
I was done with men.
Done with love.
Done with everything.
I came home, blogged it, and proceeded to get completely wasted that night. The next day I slept all day and accepted a last minute dinner/drinks date with a sympathetic local blogger. We had always chatted on a friendly basis and he had a girlfriend, so I figured it would be fine. Well, I ended up drinking a bottle of wine quite quickly, and we ended up in bed an hour later.
I woke up the next morning alone in ever sense of the word, feeling like I didn't want to go on.
I stayed in that night because it was Sunday and I had to switch onto my night schedule routine for a Monday night start of my new pediatrics rotation. This meant I had to try to stay up the whole night. I was chatting to [blog travelingintexas] that evening, telling him about the previous night's one night stand disaster and he invited me to join him and some more people in a chat conference. I resisted. I was cranky, I didn't know any of those people and I was kinda annoyed at the suggestion. But I was in my pajamas, and pretty intent on continuing my 72 hour drinking bender, so I figured again "What the hell...". At least I wouldn't technically be drinking alone.
But I clicked "Accept" and from then on, it was history.
There were several people in the chatroom [blog travelingintexas] had created. Amongst them were [blog _Safira], [blog DaphneR], Silhouette2005, [blog sj365] and a few others were in and out...
And amongst them? Bulging_Boy
His first words to me?
"Top Off, Blonde!!!!"
I cracked up. Trav knew just what I needed... friends. He didn't know what he had done for me at that point, and neither did I. Regardless of circumstances, regardless of how he's thankfully really too busy with his new life to talk as much as we did before, I still thank him everyday for being the kind of person who would take a pathetic little thing like myself and throw me in with a bunch of awesome people to cheer me up. We all stayed up all night until 7:30 am.
I was instantly taken with Bulge (I so keep almost writing his real name) and I actually unabashedly pimped him out the next day on my blog. It wasn't love at first chat, but I really liked him and thought he was fucking hysterical. I still do (on both counts). He was just like he is now- quickwitted, always joking, self-deprecating, caring yet demented, and of course "Mr. Fucking Spellcheck". I, the poor typer that I am, was quickly a target for his incessant corrections and jokes. (I still am.) By later in the evening everyone had their cams up, and so did he. My first thought when I saw him? "OMG He's fucking *cute* too!"
Bulge and I continued our conversations privately. We talked about *everything*... our divorces, his , New Zealand, America, music, life, love, pain, disappointment, everything... I had never had such open conversations with anyone. And I never had met anyone who was so on my wavelength. I was intensely attracted to him in every way. It was very evident to me from that night on...
I was in love.
But there were complications: He was on the other side of the world. He had 4 and was not moving. I was still in school for another 8 months here. I was also involved with another person for whom I cared very deeply for. I thought that there might have been true potential there and I didnt know what to do. I doubted myself. I tried to reason that New Zealand was too far, and with all Bulge's baggage, it could never work. I had a chance with an awesome guy here in the states, so I told myself I should just forget about Bulge.
But I couldn't do it.
So I told the other guy about the situation. He was understandably hurt and I felt awful. But he found someone else quite quickly afterwards and we managed to remain really good friends. I'm happy we handled it that way we did and I still count him amongst one of the best people I know.
Bulge and I continued to get to know each other, but we were very connected from the start. This post was the first time I wrote about him. It was written so that only he would know it was for him; the first line of every paragraph is a line of lyrics from a kiwi song he sent me. That song will actually probably be our wedding song. [post 147323] as well. Although he had only known me three weeks, he booked a ticket to bring me to New Zealand for winter break. I was afraid I was being stupid and impulsive, but I had to go. I worked 12 nights in a row so I could afford my half of it. That is the real reason I was broke and had to hit the pole as a blog stripper He [post 169895] too!
Still we were all in the chat conference rooms every night together and none of our friends really knew. We didn't want to weird everyone out so we decided to keep it to ourselves, [post 160746]. Daph, being the sharp observer of human behavior, figured it out on her own, but she kept it to herself! There were a lot of clues and we were horrible at lying so it probably wasn't *that* difficult if you were really looking for it.
Our first countdown commenced and the days went by *so slowly*. I was finishing up with my pediatrics rotation and was on nights so Bulge and I were on the same schedule. He hinted [post 162774] times that I was the [post 171404] he was waiting for. Finally the day came for me to leave New York and he was bouncing off the walls. [blog DaphneR] was chatting with him the whole night, but he didn't know that she had figured it all out. Meanwhile he was struggling to keep it a secret. It was hysterical. She finally admitted she "knew" and he just about died of relief to have someone to talk to about how excited he was. He didn't sleep the whole night.
After the 24 hour trip, I got off the plane and when I walked out through international arrivals, I saw him right away. He was waiting for me with flowers and a grin. He was looked just as handsome as he did online, and I think he was shocked that I actually showed up. It was the week before Christmas and it had taken me about an hour to get through customs and immigration. But he was thinking I didn't get on the second plane in LA, that I had changed my mind. We kissed hello, but didn't make out at the airport or anything; we were so nervous/ excited just to be together that we both were talking a mile a minute. We jumped in his car and drove off... On what seemed like the wrong side of the road to me and I was bugging out!
We got home and he not-so-gingerly told me that "by the way..." the would be over in 20 minutes because his ex-wife needed him to drop them off at school that morning. Internal reaction: WTF????? OMG OMG OMG panic. External reaction: Are you sure you're OK with me meeting them? But it went OK. I got thrown head first into the deep end, and somehow managed to swim. I was scared about meeting the , but I remembered something about if you don't show fear animals won't attack, so I went with that hoping it had some application to his pack of rats. I highly recommend watching the Discovery Channel for all your parenting advice.
The rest of the first day? Magic. That's all I'll say. We immediately switched over from voice and text to real life without missing a beat.
We had waited all that time to tell our friends so it was really fun to go into the chatroom that night and to see everyone's face as I appeared with Bulge on his cam. Everyone who didn't already know simultaneously cheered and then cursed us for being so sneaky. But everyone was happy for us and we were really grateful for everyone's support.
The second morning though was yet another shock/ panic moment. Bulge's parents showed up unannounced while we were in our skivvies making breakfast... I almost fainted as he told me whose car it was that had just pulled up, but then *flew* upstairs to put some clothes on. I came downstairs and went into "if I act graciously and smile maybe they wont notice that I'm quietly hyperventilating" mode, and made some coffee while holding onto the kitchen counter for dear life. By the third morning I was expecting his ex-wife to crawl into bed with us. (And no, that would *not* have been hot.)
The rest of the trip was just as amazing. It was evident in every minute, every action, every touch that we were meant to be. I fit right in, and by the third day it was as if I had always been there. It was totally insane and mind-bending. I got on well with the , we had [post 180308] with his family and I got to meet everyone. We were completely happy.
So when Bulge proposed on New Years Eve at the top of One Tree Hill in Auckland, there was no other answer but "Yes". It was one of the best nights of our lives, and certainly the best New Year"s I have ever had.
We didn't go public as a couple on our blogs right away. I didn't want to. Other couples had a difficult time of it and I was afraid people wouldn't be supportive. Bulge was in the Top 10 at that point and I was concerned that he would lose a significant part of his following when all the ladies figured out he was taken. To which, in true Bulge style, he said "Ummmm. Who gives a fuck?!" Everyone was really happy for us and many, many comments were left on [post 187058]. It was really a time we look back on so fondly with so many memories. Those memories have gotten us through an incredibly difficult time being apart.
I had to leave a few day after and I was when it came time to leave I was devastated and [post 189473]. I have never felt such pain as when I had to turn away and let go of his hand and walk through the departure gate. Watching test cricket, I cried all the way back to New York. Upon my return I was completely depressed and heartbroken. Non-functional. Bulge [post 199227]. I couldn't even blog. I slept and drank for about a week. Then I pulled myself up and grudgingly rejoined the land of the living. We coped the best way we could. We were constantly in touch through Skype, IMs, and cell texts. We used our blogs as a diversion. I wrote about him He wrote about our trip to [post 192308] and about me [post 204128] in New Zealand. I posted about how he charred the roast and about the funny things that had happened while I was there and [post 323644].
During the course of things we decided to take a break from blogging to work on our relationship and block out a lot of negativity that was going on in the blogs at that point. There was all sorts of crap going on and we just couldn't take the bullshit, so we left. Bulge faked his death or something and I just disappeared. We still kept in touch with everyone, but spent a lot less time online with everyone. I think some people were offended by our departure, but the ones who were truly our friends kept in touch with us just as much and understood our decision.
I scrimped and saved and planned a surprise trip to New Zealand for my Spring Break. It was Bulge's ' birthdays and I wanted to make sure I was there, and of course I was missing him so badly that I was becoming completely unglued. I went in April and he was SO surprised. The trip was great and it felt really good to be home. Unfortunately, two weeks later I had to go back to New York to take my finals and start my last round of clinical rotations before graduation. Again, leaving sucked. It was just as awful as the first time, but at least I had a shiny rock on my left hand when I came home.
Upon my return home, I was again so depressed that I couldn't even function. So I turned back to the people who supported me the first time I went through this, and I returned to the blogs. Bulge followed, even though he was originally [post 323644], to keep me company. We [post 342733] each other as we started the countdown all over again. From that point on, I used my blog as an outlet for issues I've been needing to deal with; everything from my anxiety about being a stepmom, to getting closure on my mother's estrangement and my sister's suicide attempt, and even putting to rest the pain from the tragic death of my first fiance. Above all else, I celebrated passing Physics- the last class I needed to complete in order to graduate.
And Bulge was there with me the entire time I went through all this stuff. So my favorite post since I've come back is this one about how I traded up. And now we count the days, hours, and minutes until we're back together again. We have lots of support from our great friends on here and we realize every day how lucky we are.
So that's the whole story.
It's a story of adversity, loss, of redemption and fate, and above all else love.
It's my story.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
Happy Anniversary
|
Posted:Jun 15, 2006 4:22 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2006 3:50 pm
8454 Views
|
Cold gazpacho on a warm summer afternoon... You know it was always my favorite and you never put any celery in because you knew I hated celery.
And I loved that.
You've seen the road I've been on, and you've seen the ups and down, how I got sidetracked. I know it's not what you wanted for me, but as you can see things came full circle.
I never doubted I'd breathe, but wasn't sure I'd live again.
10 years.
A piece of me died that day that I will never get back. The day you left me on my own, our future wiped out in one afternoon... one of my worst moments. Numb for a year, I wore your ring. But always always I felt you were there when I needed you, when I didn't think I could do it anymore you always said "Princesa, go on now..."
Go on.
And so I did, long way around... now it's 10 years later and I miss you still but pain has dulled and perspective has grown. We might not have been meant to be, but my life would never have been the same without you.
But I am without you.
And now it's ok.
Now you see I'm on my way. I'm back on track and you know I'll be well taken care of. I still think that maybe you had something to do with my long overdue luck. And if it's true, I thank you.
Thank you so much.
Because you can see this is what I needed, that this is what was destined for me. Even though I buried you 10 years ago today, I will never bury your memory. And it is part of me like all the other experiences I have picked up along the way. All the times I cried now are eclipsed with all the times I'll smile. That loss has made me appreciate what is real, and what is lasting.
And that is love.
So as I sit here at the beach, eating cold gazpacho, I think of you and know that everything is right. And I smile when I think that you know that too.
Happy Anniversary J, and thank you.
A
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
What's my name, bitch!?
|
Posted:Jun 12, 2006 5:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2006 12:56 pm
7803 Views
|
So I don't know what to do with my blog.
Since I'm making the big move in 12 days (eeeeeeekkkk so excited), I was thinking about starting a new blog with a new profile. The jury is out however.
If I were to do this..
What should be my new handle?
What should I name my new blog?
I need some ideas!
A
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
Ode to Reality
|
Posted:Jun 11, 2006 10:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2006 11:47 am
6996 Views
|
Futures
made of
virtual insanity...
Always seem to,
be governed
by this love we have for
useless twisting
of our new technology.
Oh, now there is no sound -
for we all live underground...
-Jamiroquai
It's not pretty.
Real life, real love.
It's not flashy.
It doesn't have a pretty font.
It doesn't come nicely centered with multicolored borders.
It doesn't rhyme.
It's dirty, and it's scary and it doesn't come easily.
It's not the stuff of movies.
But it's better than any intensly romantic idealism you twist your mind into thinking you have with someone at the other end of a keyboard or a phone line.
It's better than any fantasy you can dream up.
It's worth the sacrifice.
It's worth the risk.
It's worth the trip.
It's grocery lists, not poetry.
It's wet towels on the floor, not rose petals.
It's an annoying alarm clock, not birds singing.
It's a beat up SUV, not a white .
It's long romantic walks to the convenience store.
It's holding hands while waiting for the bank teller.
It's remembering I don't like mustard.
It's fixing his coffee white and none.
It's making the bed.
It's doing the dishes after dinner.
It's hope, not certainty.
It's not about having everything
... it's about having just enough, and not caring about the rest.
And I would highly recommend it to anyone.
|
|
|
14
Comments
|
|
CAUTION: TIGHTLY WOUND
|
Posted:Jun 8, 2006 4:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2006 10:27 am
7188 Views
|
#%&*Q( #Q&#(% *&Q#(% *&Q(#&% (*Q#$ !!!!!
17 days!!!!
&(#)%&# Q&($&*R%Q*# %&*(Q(*Q#& &Q#)Q#(*!!!!!!!
Goddamn it!!!!!!!!
I am NOT going to make it, people.
You know that I am pretty private person; Bulge and I don't generally discuss our sex life publicly- we're not accomplished erotica authors, we don't kiss and tell, and if anything is shared it is usually because something went terribly awry and it was funny.
But I have to vent.
I am so incredibly sexually frustrated I could cry.
I have never been this bad off ever!
It's past the point of being annoying; now it's comical bordering on dangerous.
I have to be careful that I don't:
A. Crash my car into a tree because I'm so distracted.
B. Ignite my down comforter with my dreams.
C. Melt the microphone I use to Skype him every night.
I am even afraid at work; I am in constant contact with open oxygen tanks!
One spark.... and it's all over.
(Literally!)
This happened last time too. The closer I get to being back there with him, the anticipation I feel takes over my conscious mind and body to the point where I can't function. However, this is the worst it's ever been.
And yes, I've tried the self-help route. However, there is *no* substitute for the real thing. Trust me . Even the best Robo-rabbit Super Vibe 5000 would do no justice.
Here's a confession for all you perves and all the girls that were always secretly wondering:
Bulge is a *Top Rate* shag.
And when I say top rate, I mean fucking fantastic. Best I've ever had.
( "Well duh", you say "We knew that. Girls don't just up and move half way around the earth for nothing" )
Well, yeah. But the fact that we have that element on top of an awesome friendship and intensely committed romantic relationship is really the icing on the cake.
OK it's the icing and the sprinkles and the ribbon decorations. In all different colors.
But #*@&#%(*&%^)(Q#&%Q()#* !!!!
I'm dying here!
I have my board exam on Wednesday and I cannot stop thinking about him and all the things.... (I just totally lost my train of tought)
*Smack!*
See what I mean!
I can't even look at the ice cubes in my drink without getting flushed.
What am I going to do?
*Sob*
It's useless.
A
|
|
|
23
Comments
|
|
Extreme Makeover: Life Edition
|
Posted:Jun 5, 2006 5:59 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2006 3:55 pm
5751 Views
|
Argh......
If anyone can tell me how to make time go by most quickly, please tell me!
I have 19 days left before I am back where I belong and I think I might spontaneously combust. I am past the freaking out stage, past the anxiety, and full on into countdown mode.
I check my calendar 10 times a day, and then when I realise it's the still the same day, I stare at the clock really intensely to see if I can make go any faster. It hasn't worked.
Yet.
(I'll keep trying though...)
I can't even talk anymore. I have nothing to talk about. I'm between chapters in my mind. I'm pretty much just wrapping up everything here; I'm just waiting to leave. Most of my sentences begin with "I can't wait... " and when I'm not saying it, I'm thinking it.
I don't even want to stay for graduation anymore. I don't want to spend one more minute here than I have to. But my parents are coming down for to see me and I have some parties to go to, so I'll stick it out. I might not see most of my classmates ever again after that, but I i can't say I'll be too broken up about putting this chapter behind me.
I've been waiting for my life to start for 4 years now.
My wait is almost over, yet I am still amazed. I saw what I wanted for myself back then, and I still can't believe I had the balls enough to throw *everything* away for a chance at it. I didn't think at the time I was doing anything courageous, but I think differently now. I thank my past self everyday for taking that chance.
Four years ago this week I left my first husband. On June 14, 2002, I was sitting in a motel alone, homeless with $87 to my name.
This June 14th I will be sitting for the first level of my respiratory board exams, a week away from graduating with a second BS, with a plane ticket to New Zealand on my kitchen table waiting to take me back to the life I always wanted.
I get teary everytime I think about how lucky I am. I never thought I would have the kind of adventure I'm embarking on... my second lease on life.
I used to think that all the problems I had were because I was a screwup, that I was broken. Truth is, I just never was with the right person. It makes a such huge difference.
And I am so excited about all the things we'll do.
All the "firsts" we were gipped out of the first time around.
All the places we're going to go.
Our time.
Our traditions.
Our wedding.
Our home.
Our .
Our life.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I wouldn't want it to be with anyone other than him.
A
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Open Relationships
|
Posted:Jun 4, 2006 4:23 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2006 3:53 pm
4919 Views
|
I'm a pretty mellow person.
Whatever makes you happy, I'm happy for you.
As long as youre not hurting anyone and everyone's happy with the situation, great. Swap, swing, have threesomes, blow ponies, date dwarves, and party with trannies. I don't really care. It's all good.
You're an adult and it's a free country. Go wild.
But I always wonder if I could do the same things everyone else writes about.
Sometimes I say "Wooohooo! Sexy!!! I could do with some of that!"
And sometimes I'm like "OMG.. I could *never* do that in a million years."
I was reading today about a woman who has an open relationship with her boyfriend. They plan to get married in a few months. She wrote about how as long as he tells her before he goes out to have sex with some other woman, and as long as he uses protection, she's fine with it.
It seems to work fine for those people, so I guess that's good for them. I couldn't say it's wrong or anything; who am I to judge.
But I thought about it for about .4 seconds before I was literally *ill* at the thought of him and I having that kind of arrangement.
I would be *heartbroken*.
And what's the protocol there?
What would you do all night knowing that he was out with someone else?
Do you save leftovers in the fridge for him to pop in the microwave for a midnight snack when he gets home?
Him coming home with some other girl's scratchmarks down his back?
Could a shower ever get the smell of someone else's perfume off his skin?
What do you talk about over breakfast the next morning?
Really, tell me... because I just really don't know how it works, and I'm curious how people can be so cool about the whole thing!
Can you truly be in love with someone and have an open relationship?
Or is having an open relationship just a temporary fix for a bad relationship?
Do these relationships last? How do they do it?
A
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
On This Week's Episode of "Fuck Off, You Insensitive Prick!"
|
Posted:May 30, 2006 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2006 7:47 pm
5003 Views
|
Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of "Fuck Off, You Insensitive Prick".
I'm your host, LiBlonde97.
Tonight we get a exclusive look at this week's hottest man in insensitivity, Division77.
Div hit #1 on the FriendFinder-x Top 10 Jerkoffs List this week by posting an egotistical and completely unnecessary inquiry centering around two particular bloggers who have recently split up.
Did he have to post their names and pictures to single them out?
No!
Would it even have been hurtful to post the topic at this point, even without their names and pictures?
Sure!
Were there much better ways to present an issue if it was truly an intellectual inquiry into the behavior of public blogger couples?
Absolutely!
Was the nature of his post egotistical, and critical, bordering on insulting?
YES!
But that didn't stop him.
He's obviously got *innate star talent* for being an insensitive prick. Way to rub the salt in there good, Div! He's obviously learned his skills well.
And his replies to the everyone's comments telling him how insensitive he is were even *more* pompous!!!!
Super Bonus Points !!!!
Maybe next week he'll take phone calls live on the show so we can personally question the way he lives *his* life.
We can only hope to hear more from this winner!
Well, that's all the time we have for now. Be sure to check out this amazingly talented boy, and his truly thought-provoking post.
(Or is that nausea-inducing? Whatever.)
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rm_LilBlondeNZ) use [blog rm_LilBlondeNZ] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
271
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
