Getting Down
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Posted:Jun 4, 2014 9:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
6644 Views
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Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Buttons, zippers, fingers found
Dreaming of what comes next
Honey there’s your party dress
With heart and body, can’t you tell?
How I want you; want to well…
Be up tonight and be enough
Hold you, kiss you, be my love
The two of us right here and now
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Two hearts beat with just one sound
Fingers, lips, bodies, entwined
I am yours and you are mine
From Heaven fell, I caught you
Hands reach down; you caught me too
Be up with me, somewhere between
Heaven and Hell for us to see
The two of us, love we found
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Drips and drops will we drown?
In happiness, in sheets and hues
No better fate to drown with you
You’re the air I breathe, the lips I taste
Ocean of love, we have made
Be up for a swim; wade on in
Love or lust, even sin
The current of love I don’t doubt
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Sounds are crashing all around
Moans and screams, softest sighs
Happily ever… a good night
Held in silent revelry
Love story for you and me
Be up to sing your siren’s song
A lover listens, can’t be wrong
Passionate voices, love is loud
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Move the sun; the moon is found
In the dark, in the night
We never have to say goodbye
Underneath the moon and stars
Where are you, here you are
Be up with me, when comes the day
Baby tell me that you’ll stay
How I love you, even now
But there is nothing wrong with down
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What do you like to do in your free time?
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Posted:Jun 3, 2014 9:21 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
6841 Views
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The keyword being FREE… to be me, to be you, to do, or to live; suppose it comes from ones very own definition of the concept. In keeping with a somewhat minimalism approach I will begin with the most simplistic response to the inquiry.
Reading above all else, though I’m not sure when it passed from necessity to enjoyment; when I was in school the idea was to maintain sanity, to ignore the local thuggery, and then as an escape, though I am curious what am I still running from? Give me a movie with an incredible storyline, primarily a love story found within the horror genre, though I appreciate so many others but a romantic entanglement is paramount. Last but not least is writing, anyone who knows if but a sliver of my personality, has been privy to a poem of mine, a story, some bit of knowledge that I have gained throughout the years.
Considerations should also be given for the Internet, Television, and Research… feel free not to continue reading, for now the answers become even more convoluted.
Of course man is free but not a man, woman, or , unless that freedom is chosen to the understanding that you agree with everyone else. You’re free to be a republican if you’re pro-life, god-fearing, gun enthusiast, but could one be a republican without the corresponding ideas?
Not that I’m a republican but most of my free time is spent having to agree otherwise I would not survive in such a place. I am free to wear the mask as long as I agree to never reveal what is underneath, the problem is the mask is changeable and there are times I don’t even know who I am anymore. So I evade, beneath hoods, behind books, choosing to be no one in land where the one can never ever be an original.
I prefer to stay in, rather than stand out, take work for example and yes I know… free time but while the others take their break it would be quite exhausting to plant a fake smile on my face rather than to continue; my free time is spent trying to become; well I don’t know because no one is every truly free.
Even the prospect of The Purge had its freedoms curtailed to prevent our own extinction; I heard a woman speak on the responsibilities of freedom once and I ask who would decide these responsibilities? There must be laws and rules of course but what if the normal conventions were to pass away, while I am quite intrigued by The Purge, if I had the freedom and the time, allow me to share a somewhat diluted account.
I would explore in detail aspects and practices based in Sadism; one can study such facets of their personality but then the question becomes is this who they truly are? There is no answer I can give because I honestly don’t know; BDSM, Edge Play, are looked upon as wrong to the general populace, even to acknowledge such will cost me somewhere; where is the freedom in knowledge and practice? I wonder of my greatest fears and triumphs that I am more enslaved to than conquering because to have such a freedoms to overcome are considered subjects of vice, better to stay as I am than to break free or become worse.
“Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” Hitch
Not to sound morbid but perhaps death is the only free time anyone truly has, a slave who dies gains freedom, a slave who gains freedom by any other recourse desires to experience even more. You could say I was free but what freedom do I have… this is survival, and there are days I believe my freedom would never truly be allowed; but what if it was?
“There is more to life than to watch other people live it.” Hitch
If I had free time I would still read but what I wish is to be free to live a love story, if it required being Peeta, if I were lucky enough to be Christian Grey, or just to know what it’s like to be Tobias/Four and have someone like Tris in my life. Moreover I want to be free and have the time to become the type of man I often write about… hell they are me but are capable of love and more to the point girls are free to love them.
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But A Man Ain’t Supposed To
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Posted:May 30, 2014 9:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2014 1:09 pm
6613 Views
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But a man ain’t supposed to; what have doubts
How we both deny
And I figure somehow
It won’t be a lie
Exasperated sigh
Your feelings are true
Say it alright
But a man ain’t supposed to…
Sing up and down
Or wonder why
I want you around
Is it just tonight?
Dream of a life
Thought you knew
You just might
But a man ain’t supposed to…
Show his frown
Fear goodbye
Scream out loud
For you to vie
To want to die
Yet I do
Have feelings right
But a man ain’t supposed to…
Cry…
Because I love you
So I try
But a man ain’t supposed to
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Angel's Descent
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Posted:May 29, 2014 9:17 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2014 9:27 pm
6789 Views
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“Lapdance”, sex tape, naughtiness, what about my ongoing battle with crippling depression, and what if I was ever to rise though I don’t see it happening.
Now I know today’s supposed to be about me but I can’t deny that a girl would have to do some pretty raunchy stuff to be with me. I think it’s because I have believed in… let’s call it “Courtly Love” for so long you know like “Spinelli on General Hospital”. It could simply be that I’m a twenty-nine year old virgin, yes I said it; yes I lie to some people but those people aren’t reading this so anyway I have always had such Pornographic Passions and yet I wonder “How Did I Fall In Love With You”.
I mention my depression, I can’t help it, and drugs can’t help me because unlike most people I know why I am depressed. A lack of confidence, the whole damn world, it could be the “Possibility” that I have been right all along; let that not be the case.
For some reason I believe that you or some other girl would be the cure for what ails me and what if you were? I don’t know it would be like to be happy, I honestly can’t remember it what it was like or if I ever was, I can only remember being in the fourth grade sitting beside the concrete steps wanting my girlfriend at the time to tell me she loved me and to sit beside me. The other day I was talking to this girl online and she said I was trying too hard and that’s how I live my life as if “It Will Rain” so I rush, I get stupid and when it doesn’t work I’m depressed.
So I meet you, you’ll do every sick thing I imagine, somehow or another I become happy; the question becomes, what will become of me; I need to rise and you need to fall and pills have never given me that balance but an “Angel’s Descent”?
Angel's Descent
High above me
But to catch you
As you see
And I grew
You’re falling
Lying and not
Waiting, anticipating
You’re so damn hot
And I’m laying
While you’re on top
Just to see you fall
From above
More beautiful that I thought
This love
Surrounding all
Inside me, inside you
Hearts race
And the truth
This grind and pace
Heaven isn’t through
But comes crashing down
Eventually
How love astounds
Still buried deep
Yet found
Or so I’m guessing
Have we ever met?
How I’m confessing
It doesn’t make sense
This foolish jesting
Maybe confidence
Cupid is besting
Dear love what’s next
As I’m wishing and obsessing
An angel’s descent
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Slip of a Love
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Posted:May 27, 2014 9:10 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
6802 Views
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Slipping words
Don’t hide
Or unsubscribe
Haven’t you heard?
No need to confer
Much more than lines
And more than kind
Education, to learn
What love is?
Nice
Along with vice
Starting with a kiss
Love
Is that enough?
It feels like the world
A surprise
Almost suicide
How is it I burn?
Just for you girl
I can’t deny
My heart this time
All I want on Earth
You my pretty Miss
Choose me over that guy
But can I tell you why
Only this
Feel the love
Fall from up above
There is no list
Yet can you find?
I’m the diamond in the rough
Let the word slip
Be my
Love
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Tell us what you’re reading now
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Posted:May 26, 2014 9:05 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2014 9:08 am
6812 Views
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“No two people read the same book.” Edmund Wilson
While in high school I read this book, The Cure by Sonia Levitin and my father said something to the tune of… that was the cause of all my problems. If you are searching for the most simplistic answer Allegiant by Veronica Roth so feel free to be on your way but to ask what I’m reading is to the extent of judging a book by its cover.
Before my father’s tirade I would have said a book is yet another means of understanding a person, who you are, what you’re thinking, and perhaps the person you would like to be. For me a book served as a shield for both myself and others; indeed the purpose of a shield is to defend but why is the acknowledgment of defense and invitation to attack all that a person is? In the terms of others, books became white rooms in those days they kept me from hurting others, hurting myself… those were the days, and when I would stop it would be as if entering a hallway and for an hour a day a week I suppose I knew humanity would let me down because instead of searching for the exit there would always be another welcoming white room.
Anyway as I said I am reading Allegiant for the moment… war, love, insanity, to be lacking the words to describe words but who am I to define the work. While I have yet to define self I can define who I am when reading this selection and so I shall try.
Who I am is Peter, while I enjoy the label of Divergent, the idea of being an Insurgent, to be a member of Allegiant, and Tobias/Four is just another in a long series of male heroes I can never be, and Tris is Just Another girl I could not win, I am Peter if at this point for his madness and willingness to forget. I am thinking/feeling/believing that while I read this that love in itself is a way of forgetting… the people in the experiments, the Bureau, the fringe wouldn’t they all be happier not knowing, Tobias and Tris fall for each other and in doing such forget who they once were, maybe I’m looking for someone to share my oubliette. As for who I am becoming I look at the factions, the labels of GP and GD Genetically Pure and Damaged and while I feel I am some of everything to finally have a place to be selfless, dauntless, wise, kind, or even honest… I suppose it beats being lost; or the idea of faction before blood because I share nothing but genetics with my family but to love someone who doesn’t or to love by choice rather that obligation, seems easier and the thing is it’s not.
I have such an affinity for love stories, that is perhaps the single greatest and yet most common trait in my readings; no greater knowledge, no greater understanding than to know that one person. Love is an exchange in knowledge and in a way somewhat of a reeducation of how we see ourselves and the world, I reason that’s why History was my favorite subject not the sciences or even anything of English
Math is constantly evolving, seeking to prove and disprove its very own existence, and English attempts to define feeling; History whether in triumph or tragedy, someone’s truth or for the want of fallacy is a story of a time, a place, a moment, that has the potential to show us where we’ve been and where we could possibly go. Whatever has this to do with a love story… it’s something I’ve never seen, something missing from my own life; I have no story about a first date, a first kiss, or even a first time and it could be with my future endeavors looking so remarkably bleak, I look back to see if there was ever such an opportunity that I missed.
This is why I pursue the feeling of love in nearly everything I read; this is why I am a writer wishing to make madness into sanity, while the meaning of love is anything but. I live others tales of love unable to ever know my own but if I find such, will it be truth or fiction.
What am I reading… the screams of the asylum, a book known as Allegiant, the unspoken words of the past or a love story not yet written?
“We read to know we are not alone” C.S. Lewis
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Loose Love
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Posted:May 25, 2014 9:06 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2014 9:07 pm
6814 Views
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Get a grip
Hang on
Lest I slip
But for how long
Have I liked you?
Been there
Told the truth
That I care
I think it’s called insanity
To be on the edge
And all you see
Is the mess
If I fall below
Because I won’t let go
And it’s not right
This climb
You take my love as light
My heart in a bind
Yet to give in
Calling it quits
Ending my sin
A reason to live
Instead of jumping
Or crashing
Maybe I’m nothing
Not even dashing
Am I enough?
Perhaps too much
Is this it?
The doomed siren’s song
Cupid’s miss
I’m always wrong
Can’t be right
Won’t be mine
Forever or tonight
Never my time
So…
Hanging is tough
Should I let go?
Of love
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Love's Lucidity
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Posted:May 24, 2014 9:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
6811 Views
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“How Crazy Are You” a very direct question but par for the course that our lives will take us on, if we were together. You’re here and if you are a girl of substance, of depth, and if you are worthy; yes today is about you, I have already lost my mind, my heart and soul to the cause of love… for now let’s start with your mind.
I can’t think of a reason for you to love me, to “Follow Me” and yet it is required and clearly to demand such means we’re both crazy if you are considering it. Love has never been reasonable and I don’t wish it to be; at this point in my life if you simply said yes; I would consider that madness. This is a habit I should really start to break (talking about other women) anyway I read a poem from this friend of mine “Lola” the other day and I guess I do need a “Crazy Bitch” minus the bitch somewhat.
Yet I also brought up depth, how deep the rabbit hole goes you know; if you’re reading this you know I’m falling in love with you and I’m “Beggin” you to put your lovin hand out baby, better yet the two of us should be “Rolling in the Deep”. How’s this for confidence believing that you are out there somewhere and if you think I’m actually reasonable then yes you might fit the bill and if you think I’m crazy and still want to give this a shot, that gives me cause to wonder. The thing is I also want the normal life, okay extraordinary I mean could you picture us just sitting by the lake, my head in your lap our feet in the water, of course in this scenario I want my own house and lake someday and I want to be able to afford you the life you deserve.
The question is how crazy are you to love, to trust, and to believe me, well you know what I want from you so if you do then I think I’m gonna “Marry You” just kidding heh heh. Let’s start with something small as in would you be like the “Songbird” easier to think you would offer your body, your love, such is my Love’s Lucidity.
Love’s Lucidity
Love’s lucidity; love I dare say
The feeling
Yesterday
Broken and healing
Painful yet dealing
But the memory
Really
Love’s Lucidity
Pornographic absurdity; lust to sate
Up and wielding
Today
Lovely lines, not nearly
Body searing
21st century
Where’s the Bling-bling
Love’s Lucidity
Inglorious insanity; a future to create
A heart I’m rebuilding
Yet my fate
Though I keep believing
Is to keep reliving
My lonely misery
So I keep dreaming
Love’s Lucidity
Me you’re not seeing
You won’t love me
Loveless reasoning
Love’s Lucidity
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Hushing Love
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Posted:May 22, 2014 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
7003 Views
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Hush-Hush
Dare I reveal?
This love
What’s the rush?
When all it takes to seal the deal
Is to be like that bunch
You to touch
Your body feel
But not just lust
I dare look up
And drop and kneel
But
I’m too much
A face turned heel
Or I’m never enough
This lonely fool has drunk the punch
Another girl, my heart to steal
Hush-Hush
This love
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Lying With A Dream
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Posted:May 21, 2014 6:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
6948 Views
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Pretty sleeper
The subject
What comes next?
My lover and my keeper
“God, can I keep her”
Don’t say “not yet”
I tumble and I fret
As my love grow deeper
Will she ever know?
I will tell
How I have fell
But will she stay or go
If she would only know of
The value of my love
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What Are 5 Albums You Can’t Live Without?
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Posted:May 20, 2014 2:08 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2014 8:02 am
7174 Views
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“Grace, I realized, is neither time- nor place-dependent. All we need is the right soundtrack.” Liberal Arts 2012
There has never been one; sure I have owned a whole album here or there but one that knows me, one that defines me, and one that encompasses… everything, look to sky and not the stars. Maybe I’m not being honest with myself but I have fallen in love more times than heard an album I can’t live without; there was however a time they crossed paths.
During my senior year of high school and maybe a year of junior college I fell in love with this girl… Danielle. If you know anything about me she was perfectly my type, brunette, brown eyes, angelic and the things I felt for her being purely vanilla in flavor could be defined by Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Bedingfield. How many hours did I spend simply lying in my bed listening to this album and singing along?
I think eventually I gave her the cd, not to mention my very first book of poetry and a detailed analysis on why I thought she at least liked me too… or so I thought.
Speaking of my first book of poetry, it was because of Danielle I first began writing poetry and the music… I suppose I had even more to say than even I imagined. In my youth I would sing about love every couple of Sundays… in church but that was somebody else putting words in my mouth, honestly I have never loved God; I could include others that wanted the words but not the feeling behind them.
So there I am in church listening and singing music that I have learned to despise which is saying plenty on the grounds that I have a rather eclectic ear. Writing became a way to shut the music out when I had no choice but to listen; perhaps you’ll find it strange during this period that why I scribbled thoughts of the ethereal in terms of flesh, I never harbored the illusion of being spoken to by the divine.
If I upset you, don't stress
Never forget, that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind, and let the lord do his thang
Tupac Shakur Ft. Elton John ~ Ghetto Gospel
I am not entirely sure when my parents gave up on me sharing any aspect of faith but I discovered for the briefs of moments I had a choice in the voices I let inside my head. One of those voices quieted the demons some while at some point allowing me to face the devil himself who I once called Dad.
When I remember Mad Season by Matchbox Twenty I was a , mad at my father sitting outside in the hot sun because I just didn’t have the nerve to walk into my grandmother’s house. Finally it was the song Stop that had me moving though for the life of me I have no idea why. What would I even call this genre of music… Rob Thomas was the front man for Matchbox Twenty, when I got in trouble in high school I listened to John Mayer and as I am always trying to discover my fascination with brunettes and girls with dark hair, I adored Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton.
Maybe I was calling out for love, somehow a pretty voice just made everything better and my insistence on believing them.
Sometimes I wish life was one incredible rock opera my favorite being Repo! The Genetic Opera… pure poetry of a movie soundtrack. The music makes it… not simpler or easier but perhaps the difference between listening and hearing, believing and knowing.
The music nowadays well… I once held a rule that I must be able to name five songs from someone before I decided whether I liked or disliked them; most are lucky if they have three. As for my musical preferences, as long as they have something worth saying I’ll hear nearly anything. It is rare when a party song gets me going just on the grounds I’ve never been much of a dancer though I have always wanted to study all those slow dances and truthfully I have always wanted to learn the “Lambada”.
I still abhor gospel music and any song that carries the message taught today ‘it gets better” hell even Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never carries more weight
Slave to the Rhythm, in a way
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Lover's Babel
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Posted:May 19, 2014 7:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
5534 Views
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Underlying secret as my angel
Do you fall or fly
A struggle, a tangle
How badly you try to hide
Amongst the clouds you ride
Can you keep it?
Or do you deny
Underlying secret
And here I dangle
Heaven is so high
Should I be thankful?
As I try and climb
Yet wonder why
This emotion, I have met
I can’t say goodbye
Underlying secret
Old and new fangled
Feelings like tides
Love and lust mangle
If we should find
We cross such a line
Who are you, have I met you yet
Could you be my
Underlying secret
So lonely I could cry
Are you Heaven sent?
Is this love or lie?
Underlying secret
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Mrs. Sandman
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Posted:May 18, 2014 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 2:55 am
2401 Views
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Sandman
With an umbrella drink
And you getting a tan
Asking for a chance
Love doesn’t think
You’re a woman; I’m a man
A princess from some distant land
Connected by a link
Entice me like you can
Want you to understand
Words in ink
I love you, I can
But how I ran
Went back to sleep
Winning you… damn
Dreaming of you, no sheep or lambs
Paradise in the ink
Sandman
And you getting a tan
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