How Dirty is YOUR Mind?
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Posted:Dec 29, 2008 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2009 3:52 pm
1897 Views
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Can you tell me what the answers are?
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
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Yep - It's that time of year again....
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Posted:Dec 28, 2008 7:53 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2009 2:26 pm
1494 Views
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Time for New Year's Resolutions....
I know we all start off with the prerequisites of
(something to the effect of....)
Eat better, lose weight, get in shape, etc....
but this year while I do plan to try and accomplish the above goals, I'm going to do it a little different...
I'm going to tackle the goals and dreams in my life according to the following quote I picked up (sorry don't remember who/where.)
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die tomorrow.
Now I'm thinking if I can incorporate that thought process into everyday life, I can make just about anything happen.....
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4
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Bah Humbug.....
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Posted:Dec 21, 2008 3:31 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2008 5:23 pm
1289 Views
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Honestly I love Christmas, all of the traditions, all of the decorating, family shopping, wrapping gifts the whole kit an kaboodle.
Except - cooking cookies - I love the concept, I love the dough, I HATE cooking the freaking things. I would love to figure out the recipes for making one dozen and I would be perfect - that's the amount I like to cook, one pan....
Anyway - the damned timer is going off on another dozen cookies
(I think the rest of the dough is going to become a bar cookie)
Oh yeah - before I forget --
I hope everyone has a MERRY CHRISTMAS.....
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2
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How does he decide?
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Posted:Dec 14, 2008 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2008 8:37 am
1231 Views
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How does Santa decide which list you belong on if....
you are very, very, very good at being naughty?
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WTF??????
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Posted:Dec 14, 2008 4:53 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2008 8:37 am
1270 Views
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I just logged in and all -- I mean every last one -- of my e-mails are gone....POOF!!!!
Zero in the In-box, so; if you e-mailed lately....send it again.
Strange -- are the gremlins out of their boxes again????
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I did this backwards......
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Posted:Dec 10, 2008 4:31 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2008 8:38 am
1255 Views
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What?
I started on this site as a gold-member, and got spoiled.
Now; I'm broke and a poor standard member ~ can't do any of the quick responses to posts in my blogs, can't perv on pictures, not too upset about the e-mail thing (enjoy blogging more than e-mailing  )
But please forgive me if I don't respond to your comments on my blog. I do read them and I do enjoy the limited interaction, it's just that I'm pouting about losing my rights and am trying to figure out the easiest way to answer 
Oh well, maybe Santa will be nice to me and let me upgrade... (hint, hint)
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Not a chance they'll work ....
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Posted:Dec 7, 2008 4:55 pm
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2009 10:21 am
1173 Views
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but they're funny....
Pick up lines:
(thanks to -o-mine and friends....)
Your parents must be retarded - 'cause you sure are special.
Wanna play house?
You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
You look a lot like my next girlfriend....
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
Alright - these might actually work......
You know, you might be asked to leave soon.
You're making the other women look bad.....
Excuse me, don't I know you?
Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
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1
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Too Close to being Too Wrong.....
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Posted:Dec 7, 2008 3:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2009 11:18 am
1296 Views
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A beautiful male specimen stepped out of a car in my front yard yesterday. Picture this - he was about 6'2" tall, broad shoulders, button up shirt - unbuttoned (showing one hell of a six pack...), straight leg Levis over black boots, medium length brown/blond hair pulled back with a baseball cap on, and a honey trail leading down below the waistband.....hmmmm.....
What's the problem you ask? Evidently you enjoyed the view (oh yeah coming and going....damn fine ass....too)
The problem arose when he looked up, locked eyes with me, broke out in a huge smile, ran up the steps, bear hugged me, kissed me, stepped back and said
"Momma 2 - I've missed you...."
Huh? What? Where? Who? 
There goes my early Christmas present....this fine and I do mean fine man is a friend of the family's who I haven't seen in about six years. He literally lived at my house when he was younger. Damn, damn, damn.....
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3
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How do you want to die?
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Posted:Nov 24, 2008 5:00 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2008 4:40 pm
1108 Views
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Okay -
I'll admit it's a little morbid, but I was talking to my mother-in-law today and a friend of hers with a long list of ailments (which were taking a toll on her, in and out of the hospital..etc...)actually passed away from an aneurysm and it got me to thinking about how people die....
So, Me ..... personally - I want to wake up dead....
Don't laugh, I mean it...
I want to live my last day,
Enjoy my friends and family,
Lay down to sleep,
and know no different....
Alright that's enough with the morbid thoughts....
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It's too freaking cold......
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Posted:Nov 21, 2008 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2008 9:35 am
1199 Views
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Did someone forget that we live in the SOUTH?
You know sun, fun, etc....
Well that's all bogus for this week.
It's freaking cold and going to get colder. BRRRRR!!!!!!
Okay enough complaining, now it's time for the lame excuse....
I'm going to be missing for awhile, at least until the temperature raises above freezing....WHY???
Because, I live in a 100+ year old house with no, none, zero, central heat...we heat by wood fireplaces...nice, warm, cozy, and area specific.
(Guess what is not in the same room as the heater...yup...the computer)
So, if I don't see you before next week, I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, family filled Thanksgiving.
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Does anyone else think this is just wrong???
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Posted:Nov 14, 2008 6:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2008 8:06 pm
1855 Views
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What -
One of Hugh Hefner's live-in girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett.
Okay ~ no problem with that, does anyone truly believe that they all live a happy monogamous life????
The issue comes to mind in the following:
"I have given her my blessing and will be giving her away at a very special wedding ceremony at the Playboy Mansion this coming June," Hefner said.
I don't know, it just seems wrong for your boyfriend (who you still live with) to walk you down the aisle for your wedding...
or maybe it's just me --
(wonder if Hef needs a new girlfriend? -- Oh wait, I can legally drink -- I'm too old.....  )
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