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Best or Worst????
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Posted:Aug 4, 2008 6:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2008 4:53 pm
1178 Views
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I'm on a Rock kick -- I love his new album...
Anyway - listening to "So Hott" on the way home.. I started wondering would that be the best lay of you life or the worst????
Here are the lyrics:
You got a body like the devil and you smell like sex
I can tell you're trouble but I'm still obsessed
[Chorus:]
Because you know you're so hot, I want to get you alone
So hot, I wanna get you stoned
So hot, I don't want to be your friend
I want to fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
....Yeah.....C'mon....Yeah
You're like the kiss of death, like the hand of fate
I can tell you're trouble but I still want a taste
[Chorus x2]
Because you're so hot I want to get you alone
I want to get you stoned
I don't want to be your friend
I want to fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
See you again
See you again
That's what got me to thinking
(I know - I'm just asking for trouble -- again)
If you were never going to see them again ...
Would you perform your best, so they'll always remember you?
Or would think...
What the hell they'll never see me again -- I'm gonna get mine and get gone....
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4
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I ain't here - and I don't care what you have to say....
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Posted:Aug 4, 2008 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2008 10:42 am
1063 Views
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| I ain't here - and I don't care what you have to say.... |
Okay that would be my personal out-of-office message if I could get away with it 
But I can't....so while I was working hard at hardly working,
I found these -- most them are even better than mine...
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood. |
You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.. |
Sorry to have missed you,
but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed
so I can be promoted to our management team. |
I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient,
and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. |
The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this one is that when you return,
you can see who actually did this over and over and over...)
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Thank you for your message,
it has been added to a queuing system.
Your message is currently in 352nd place,
and you can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. |
And my 2nd favorite one:
I've run away to join a different circus.
Please feel free to leave me a message.
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0
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The difference between....
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Posted:Aug 3, 2008 5:08 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2008 1:51 am
1030 Views
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A Friend and a Best Friend.....
That's easy....
A Friend --
is someone you can call at 2am to bail you out of jail....
A Best Friend --
is the idiot sitting beside you in jail going --
"Damn that was fun, let's do it again."
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1
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Flash Back.....
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Posted:Aug 2, 2008 8:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2008 7:56 pm
1070 Views
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High School Friend called tonight and in talking brought up old slang...
Can you figure them out???
34 1/2 =
Ice Cream =
Rain Coat =
(Yes, they're all sex related)
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3
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Are women less homophobic - # 2 ?
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Posted:Aug 2, 2008 11:53 am
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2008 2:36 am
1131 Views
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Okay - that got me to thinking...
(yeah I know that usually leads to me getting in trouble..
but hell..live dangerously {=})
With every girlfriend (platonic)
I've ever had, we have --
1. Been naked in front of each other.
2. Slept in the same bed together.
3. Held hands, hugged, and or massaged shoulder or rubbed backs.
4. Have flirted or claimed lesbianism with each other to get a man or other woman to backoff while out clubbing.
With NO sexual overtones or thoughts...
so are women just more comfortable with each other or what???
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2
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Are women less homophobic than men?
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Posted:Aug 2, 2008 11:37 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2008 4:44 pm
1053 Views
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A male friend of mine at work shared this story the other day:
He and two other fathers were chaperoning a boys only group out of town. They were supposed to have a room with two beds and a pull-out sofa for their room. However; when they got there they found out that it was a King size bed and a pull-out sofa, so - they drew straws for who was going to sleep on the floor.... WTF???
I'm sorry -- repeat that please -- one of you slept on the floor when you had a KING size bed??
WHY?????????
KING size bed - no touching required???
Can someone explain that to me?
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1
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T.M.I. .....
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Posted:Aug 2, 2008 11:30 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 9:45 am
981 Views
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Don't you just hate it when someone tells you something that you just really didn't need to know....
God Awful Picture Created:
Our Executive Admin - JJ - comes over to me the other day and leans in and whispers to me:
"Did you know that X doesn't wash her hands when she leaves the bathroom?"
No - I can honestly say I didn't know that - nor does knowing it make my life any easier....
X-is my next door cubbie neighbor, so, every time she hands me something or offers me a snack, etc....
What goes through my mind??
Damn, that's nasty! --
Really Appreciate It - JJ (thanks again for that mental picture)  |
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Is it us or the Animals....
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Posted:Jul 31, 2008 6:45 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2008 6:47 pm
987 Views
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that are crazy....
Do you talk to your animals? or
Do you talk with your animals?
At my house - everyone honestly talks with them..
full conversations...
the scary part -- half the time the animals answer 
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0
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It should be interesting....
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Posted:Jul 31, 2008 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2008 6:20 pm
973 Views
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o'Mine starts back to school in the morning.
Now he has accomplished absolutely nothing this summer (not really his fault..too far for job, etc...)....except maybe reverting to infancy and getting his days and nights mixed up....
So, it may be interesting trying to get back into a normal routine of going to bed before 2am and getting up before 12 pm......
Checklist for AM wakeup:
Alarm Clock - set correctly & loudly....
Pot & Spoon - mom's homemade alarm clock....
Wet nosed dog - 
Glass of Ice Water - last option (messy!)
Wish me luck....
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0
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How do they get that dirty??
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Posted:Jul 27, 2008 12:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2008 12:22 pm
1012 Views
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No - get your mind out of the gutter....
I'm talking about your house, or specifically appliances in your house.
For me - it's the air conditioner... I started out this morning with a 5 minute job...clean the air filter....
Well, when I removed the air filter, I had a good close look ---- NASTY!!!!---- so my 5 minute job turned into a 2 hour job...
(Find a Philips head screwdriver - remove screws - find the Greased Lighting - let it soak --- find an old toothbrush to clean the inside grates -- get it all clean and then put back together -- Did I mention it was NASTY????)
Now the scary part is that the air conditioner is only 2 years old and I fully cleaned it at the end of last summer and wipe it down every month - so YUCK and double YUCK....
Then you start to wonder if this is sooo dirty and I look at it daily and try to keep it from getting so dirty ---what's under the bed - or behind the refrigerator - or OMG under the stove??????
I'm not sure I want to know.....
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Do I look that stupid?
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Posted:Jul 24, 2008 7:36 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2008 6:07 pm
1247 Views
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To quote your 1st e-mail --
"You are the most beautiful women I've seen" -- well there is no way in hell you're talking about me. HELLO -- no picture -- you don't have a clue what I look like.....
And you wonder why I didn't respond???? Go ahead - keep wondering.....
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1
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Is it Love to Hate or Hate to Love?????
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Posted:Jul 24, 2008 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2008 6:39 pm
1090 Views
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The latest "reality" shows on TV .....
Come on -- admit it, you've watched at least one of these: (actually I don't think I have ever watched a complete episode, but I do surf through and stop whenever I see the titles)
1. Clean House -- what color is Niecy's flower?
2. Rock of Love -- Brett Michaels in a house full of beautiful women fighting to be his lover....
3. The Girls Next Door -- where do I sign up for that job (oh damn - i'm about 13 years too old  )
4. A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila -- there's just something off about her face (maybe too big forehead??)
5. Cribs -- I envy the closets....
6. Jackass -- I refuse to comment....
7. Viva La Bam -- Uncle Don Vito (is it a speech impediment or is he just drunk?)
8. the Bounty Hunter -- Are Beth's breasts real or a boob job??
9. my Ride -- they do make cool vehicles -- just way overboard with the electronics...
10. Miami Ink & LA Ink -- just like the artwork....
11. Bridzilla - OMG could you be a bigger B*tch?
I'll probably have some more -- especially if the insomnia keeps up......
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To link to this blog (rm_sunnyjasper) use [blog rm_sunnyjasper] in your messages.
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