30 Real Feelings Of Girls
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Posted:May 29, 2008 3:56 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2013 8:59 pm
3062 Views
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1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship' s over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
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Gathbandhan!!!
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Posted:Apr 16, 2014 12:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 7:21 pm
2346 Views
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Ek husband and wife bister par lete hue the. Achanak husband ka sex karne ka man hua.
Husband apni wife se puchta hai: Darling, kya mein apne ummeedwaar ko tumhaare ilaake mein khada kar sakte hai???
Wife neend mein thi, vo gusse se boli: Nahi.... Bilkul nahin
Husband bechaara chup ho gya lekin us se cntrol nahi hora tha... isliye vo hila ke so gya.
Thodi der baad wife boli: Sory dear! Aap apna ummeedwaar humare ilaake mein khada kar sakte ho.
Husband bola: Ab koi jarurat nahi hai, hamare ummeedwaar ne Congress ke sath gathbandhan kar liya hai.
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HUMOOR
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Posted:Sep 8, 2011 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2014 3:50 am
2776 Views
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Q: What do bungee jumping and sex with a have in common?
A: They both cost about $100. They both last about 30 seconds. And in both cases, if the rubber breaks, you're a dead man.
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Always check for clarity
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Posted:May 11, 2011 8:34 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2011 12:39 pm
2788 Views
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An elderly couple, who were both widowed,had been going out with each other for a
long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decidedit was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out todinner and had a conversation regarding
how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, livingarrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided itwas time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?'he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently,' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment,adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered -
'Is that one word or two?'
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Visit to a fertility doctor
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Posted:Jan 20, 2010 11:54 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2012 2:59 am
2963 Views
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A 75-year old man went to his doctor`s office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor`s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it is like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing.. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing.. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we could not get the damn jar open!"
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Not sleeping with a woman
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Posted:Jan 20, 2010 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2014 3:49 am
2922 Views
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Morty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the house,
Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.
"Imagine that, Morty," she says, "Someone who smoked 3 packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I call will power - something that you definitely don't have."
But Sadie hadn't finished. "And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind of will power that you don't have."
"OK, Sadie," said Morty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman."
Morty keeps to his word.
One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a knock on his bedroom door.
Morty shouts out, "What do you want?" Sadie replies, "Er... Marvin has started smoking again."
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lovliii lesbooo........
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Posted:Jan 14, 2010 10:00 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2011 6:41 pm
4074 Views
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Mona's Lesbian Maid....
Coming home was a bit of a surprise for Mona. She expected that her mother would be at the airport, but there was a driver waiting for her instead.When she entered the house, it was deserted. There was a note on the table from Namitha her mom, telling her she was sorry, but she had got a call from a friend who needed help.
She would be back that evening. Everything at home had changed, the furniture, the decoration, everything. Thankfully her old room had been left untouched. Cleaned and repainted exactly as it was when she left it a year ago. About 10 minutes later a girl breezed into the house and introduced herself as Pyria. She was the maid. What had happened to good old Sunita? Pyria didn't know. Mona noticed that Pyria was about her age, maybe a bit younger. She was tall and held herself well. Her clothes were quite modern and well fitting, showing off her shapely bottom and full arse. Had she met Pyria on the street, she would not have taken her for a maid. Her long dark hair was open and the low cut kameez she wore revealed her assets. She had dusky skin and hazel eyes. Mona took all this in and wondered what a girl like Mona was doing working as a maid. Do you need anything Maam asked Pyria. What I need is a hot shower and a long massage. But that will have to wait. I hope mom hasn't cancelled my membership at the club.
Mona family was well off, she was the only and since her father had left a large estate when he passed away, her mother had never had to worry about money. Mam, you don't need to go to the club, I can give you a massage if you like. I have very good hands. Mona looked a Pyria's shapely hands, she had never seen manicured nails on a maid before. Why don't you have your shower and I will unpack for you, then if you want I will give you a special massage to take out the tiredness of the flight. Hmm, well ok if you can do it that would be fine, she said walking away to her room. She stripped and entered the bathroom and stood under the hot shower, the water bathed some of the ache out of her and Mona spent a long time caressing her body. She was proud of her figure and loved to show it off. Here she would have to dress more conservatively, but in the States her normal attire was tight jeans, or short denim skirts. She was blessed with perky 34C breasts and regularly wore tight shirts without a bra. She loved the way her fellow students tried to goggle her, and some of the lecturers. She had milky white skin and green eyes. At 5ft 8 she was a natural looker and kept her body trim by regular exercise, both at the gym and in bed. She had a regular boyfriend for a while, but had dumped him a few months back and had a couple of one night sessions with a few times. It had been a while since she had had decent sex and had resorted to using her fingers to satisfy herself lately.
In the warmth of the shower, she had started to tease her nipples and was lost in her own world. She didn't hear or see Pyria enter the bathroom with her towel. It was only when she turned off the water she noticed the maid. She was embarrassed and felt angry, but Pyria's face didn't show any signs of shock or embarrassment and she just smiled and handed her the towel. You have a beautiful body Mam she said. How dare you just walk in here Mona practically shouted. Mam I knocked and called, I thought you called back to come in. Then I saw you were showering and I was going to leave the towel, but then you finished. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I am not. Mona snatched the towel and wrapped it round her body. Get out. Pyria left immediately and Mona instantly felt sorry for her outburst.
She walked into her room and called Pyria, she came instantly and stood meekly at the door. Don't do that again she said firmly, but without any harshness. Yes Mam, would you like that massage now? Ok, but let me put on some undergarments first. If you wish mam, but they would only get spoiled with the oil and will hinder the massage. I will leave till you are ready. No wait, what the hell, you've seen me naked already, Mona lay down on her bed and pulled the towel over her back. Pyria took some warm oil from the table and started to work on Mona's back. She was straddling Mona, with one leg on each side, but not putting any weight on her. Soon the maid's expert fingers were easing the knots out of Mona's neck and shoulders and she started to doze in and out of sleep. Pyria worked lower and lower on Mona's back till she reached her buns. Now she poured more oil directly on to Mona and she felt a stream of it run down her crack, passing her arse hole it dripped towards her pussy.
The sensation of the warm liquid and the gentle kneed was turning her on and she bit her lip to stop a moan escaping. Mam, you are tensing, that is not good. Relax and breathe deeply said Pyria. She was now working on her thighs, every stroke Mona felt Pyria's slender fingers glide only whiskers away from her pulsating pussy. Mam, I think you are too tense, if you want I can help you release some of what is holding you. Yes, hmm Mona managed to mumble through her pursed lips. How could she get rid of the maid so she could give her clit some attention, but in the next instant she felt Pyria's fingers slide down her crack and touch her pussy lips directly? She almost screamed, but the sensation was electric.
She had never been touched like this by a girl and the feeling was incredible. Pyria's finger was now entering her pussy and the other hand had slid under her hip and was making its way to her clit. She tried to twist to stop this, but her body was not responding, it wanted more of this touch and it took all her effort to stop her from moaning aloud. Then as Pyria finger her clit and fucked her with 2 fingers it was too much to take and Mona climaxed in a loud orgasm, flooding her maid's hands in warm juice. She lay there panting whilst Pyria calmly wiped her hands on a towel. Would you like me to stop, or shall I continue with the massage? she asked. Mona turned over and looked at the maid. What did you do? You were not able to relax mam, I thought it would be better if you were satisfied first. I have never cum that fast she blurted, before realizing what she had just revealed. If Mam is angry, I will leave. She said getting up. No wait. Finish the massage, it is very good. But take off your clothes first. If I am like this, I don't see why you should not be. As you wish Mam, She stripped her clothes without any reserve and stood before Mona. She looked at the naked maid standing there unashamed. Her breasts were large and shaped like ripe mangoes.
Dark nipples small and tight were erect and stood proudly. Pyria had a very slim figure and wide hips. She had shaved her pussy, but left a strip of hair which looked very erotic. Would you like me to continue? Yes please said Moan lying on her back. She expected Pyria to start on her neck and chest, but instead Pyria parted Mona's legs and put her face between her legs. Mona felt the maid's hot breath and then her tongue pushing at the door to her love canal. She moaned out loudly now as Pryia's tongue circled her pussy lips before entering her. She was holding her hair, pressing Pyria's head further into her mound. As the rhythm of Pyria's tongue increased, Moan bucked and screamed with pleasure and in moments she had another orgasm. With her legs thrashing wildly, she came again and again. Only when Pyria finally stopped did Mona's orgasms subside. She lay there panting as Pyria wiped her face clean, then proceeded to massage her breasts and stomach. She fell asleep at some stage and woke to find she had been covered by a sheet. The room was dark. She got up and dressed before leaving the room.
Her mother was in the lounge. Mother and hugged each other and sat down to talk. She called Pyria to bring some drinks and snacks. Mona was shocked to see Pyria was dressed in a mini skirt and t-shirt. It was a low cut V neck thing and her large breasts were stretching the fabric. Mona looked at her mother who laughed, Oh don't look so shocked Mona. I heard you have already had a special massage. She reached over and stroked Pyria's bare leg. Pyria normally works naked don't you sweetheart. Pyria smiled and calmly took off her clothes. Mam prefers it this way she said to Mona I think I do too she laughed back More of Mona and Pyria soon.
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Erection.........
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Posted:Jan 14, 2010 1:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2014 3:49 am
2969 Views
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Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."
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Need more.................
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Posted:Jan 12, 2010 11:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2011 6:42 pm
2960 Views
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One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.
The new bride asks with a sly grin, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They`re roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!" while trying to hide her knowing expression.
After a few more hours of driving, they pass two horses having sex.
Again the bride asks, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They`re roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"
Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each others` bodies. The bride discovers her husband`s privates.
"What is that?" she asks.
"That`s my rope," he answers.
She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks.
"They`re my knots," he answers.
Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute!
Her husband asks, "What`s the matter honey, am I hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies, "undo those knots, I need more rope........................... 
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Shagging My Wife
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Posted:Jan 6, 2010 1:17 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2011 6:42 pm
3028 Views
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A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling.
Since the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three of us, and we're all friends here."
The husband concurs, and before long they're settled in: husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his right.
After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed, and invites him to have sex with her.
Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant.
"We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me."
"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair off of his butt. He won't even wake up."
So the friend yanks a hair off the husband's anus, and sure enough, she's right.
Her husband sleeps right through having a hair yanked out of his butt.
So, she and the friend have sex, and then she goes back to her side of the bed.
After about twenty minutes, though, she's back on his side of the bed, asking him to do it again.
The same argument follows, another hair is yanked from the husband's corn hole, and again they have sex.
This keeps up for about half the night, until after about the sixth time, when the wife goes back to her side.
Then the husband rolls over, and whispers to his friend, "I don't mind that you're shagging my wife, but do you really have to use my butthole as your scoreboard?"
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dirty - enjoy!
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Posted:Jan 5, 2010 2:03 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2011 6:42 pm
3015 Views
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The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like crazy, but a good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed... He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
-- ha.......... ha....... ...ha.... .........
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MARRIED LIFE
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Posted:Dec 29, 2009 5:28 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2010 11:43 pm
3097 Views
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MARRIED LIFE - MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING !!
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love,
Couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.
"I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer,
Brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India , etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was,
"Yes, Lollipop... But at the bar... You know... They have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that
She was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said,
"Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"
She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... At the bar.... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that.."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?
LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR BLOODY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And...they lived happily ever after.
 .....................
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