I'm done with this conversation....
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Posted:Oct 9, 2019 11:16 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2019 1:03 pm
6526 Views
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A co-worker and I got into a heated conversation today, one in which I ended with, "I'm done with this conversation" and hand motioned him out of my office.
I dismissed him like he wasn't worth the effort of spoken word.
Now I'm feeling terrible.
My anxiety has kicked in and I've replayed the conversation over and over again, knowing I could have handled everything a million different ways better....
Instead I chose be angry and handle it like a bitch.
Add that to weird personality quirks and social anxiety and I can fully understand why I'm still single.
On a personal level, I'm just a fucking mess.
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It's 1:23 am.....
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Posted:Oct 8, 2019 10:38 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2019 3:01 pm
6294 Views
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Of course I'm wide awake.
I miss the days when I could actually fall asleep and stay asleep all night. No laying awake for hours staring the ceiling, staring the clock, replaying every conversation I've ever had until I remember a bad memory in 1998 and focus on it until I lose my mind.....
I hate that this has become a regular nightly routine.
My new, much louder, downstairs neighbors don't really help the problem. They are the sleep all day, stay up all night variety.
Absolutely fantastic when you suffer from sleep issues.
But, I digress, and here I am......
Thinking to myself, why then HELL can't my downstairs neighbor just shut the fuck up and why isn't there any good tv programming on in the middle of the night.
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Thoughts for the day....
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Posted:Oct 5, 2019 10:33 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2019 10:57 am
6163 Views
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1. Life is tough sometimes. I am even tougher.
2. Don't hide from the man who broke your heart. If you see him, show him what he missed out on.
3. Sherbert.... Just plain gross.
4. The unfriendly people are usually the ones who need friendship most.
5. When you cook a whole chicken, there are weird things on the inside that must come out. Just learned that one the hard way..... Yikes!
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I'm here for you..... Psych!
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Posted:Oct 4, 2019 12:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2024 11:38 pm
6113 Views
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We all have that person in our life....
That one friend, boyfriend, family member who devotedly declares, "if you ever need anything, ANYTHING, call me!"
Then you do.
You're stressed out because you've been unable to be in two places at one time and your anxiety is out of control because you can't control the situation and you reach out for help.
Only, there is no help.
There is only that empty declaration.....
"Call me if you need anything."
I'm so sorry, I wish I could help! I'm doing anything and everything tomorrow and it's preventing me from being of any real assistance. If only you could push it off til Monday! I could totally be useful then, it's 4 days away! Damn! It sucks... Oh, btw, do you want to make p!and for this weekend??
Um.... NO
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I find myself blogging again.....
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Posted:Oct 1, 2019 10:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 12, 2019 11:10 am
6164 Views
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I feel as though I'm at some sort of crossroad.
Part of me is yearning for a fresh start somewhere where I don't know a soul.... Somewhere where I can start over from scratch and hopefully do things right, this time around.
Part of me is deeply entrenched in the security of "the familiar". The problem with the familiar is, I've become increasingly unhappy with it.
Depression has kind of had its grip on me for a few weeks, I'm hoping that maybe by returning to the blog I can shake it.... Writing has always been a tool of healing for me.
Perhaps it can help me come to terms with what is really happening.
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The Holidays are over....
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Posted:Jan 5, 2017 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2017 1:48 pm
17558 Views
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I can FINALLY relax!!
The best part? I have 6 whole days off in a row.... I haven't had that much time off in nearly 2 years.
It's a mini vay-cay!!!!
Not going anywhere, not doing anything, this chic is going to kick back and watch Netflix from the comforts of her fuzzy jammies and heated bed.
Does it get any better than this??
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Bah, humbug!
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Posted:Dec 12, 2016 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2017 6:17 pm
18209 Views
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I'm trying, but I'm just not feeling the holiday spirit this year.....
Work has pretty much sucked the life out of me lately. Thankfully there is only a few more weeks left of the holiday season and things will be back to a more normal state.
I am so ready!
Now, if only Santa would leave me a little eye candy under the tree this year.....
I could use a 6' musclebound stud with a Tom Selleck mustache and twinkling eyes.
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Baby it's cold outside...
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Posted:Dec 8, 2016 7:30 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2016 7:41 pm
18218 Views
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And, I'm freezing my butt off.
The snow has finally hit. Ugh.... For someone who hates snow as much as I do, it's pretty much torture to have to continue living in the middle of the snow belt.
If it weren't for my I would have been long gone years ago!
Sigh.... For now I guess I'll just snuggle into my nice, warm bed and watch something on the boob tube.
Hopefully I'll actually be able to get a little sleep tonight.
Wish me luck!
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It's the middle of the night....
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Posted:Dec 7, 2016 9:40 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2016 7:53 pm
18214 Views
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Of course I'm wide awake!
I hate nights like this. I have to work early tomorrow so of course I can't sleep.
Argh....
I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow morning, roaming the store with blotter cards in one hand and shimmer mists in the other.... It's a good thing Negan is a fictional character, otherwise, I'd be a slowly moving target for that crazy barbed wire bat he calls 'Lucille'.
Wish me luck folks.
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Is that what I THINK it is?!?
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Posted:Dec 6, 2016 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2016 9:54 pm
18676 Views
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How do you know you've had a rough work day?
You find a pair of your underwear laying on the floor at work and it's NOT the pair you wore to work.
Imagine my surprise when I noticed a pink and white striped piece of fabric on the floor moments after I had swept there.
Where in the hell did that come from??? I think to myself.....
With the dust pan in my hand, I head back over to the corner to see what it is.
"Did anyone drop anything?" I call out, thinking maybe one of my coworkers had dropped something from their aprons.
Nope!!
Upon further inspection I notice it's a pair of my UNDERWEAR!
Now, how in the hell does something like this happen???
After laughing for about 20 minutes I finally concluded it had to have been static clinged to the inside of one of my pant legs and when I started sweeping it had worked it's way down.
Oh good lord....
I'm just glad I found it and not one of my coworkers. I would have lost one of my favorite panties.... There is NO WAY I would own up to that one!
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8
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The wonders a day off can do!
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Posted:Dec 5, 2016 5:37 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2016 8:28 pm
18885 Views
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After working about 52 hours in the last 6 days, it's finally my day off.
I can't think of anything on earth that could top the feeling of being able to sleep in this morning and wake up knowing I didn't have to go in and face the working world.
It was magical.
I have missed sitting around with my and just hanging out....
Didn't really notice how much until the 2 of us were just lounging on the couch watching 'Ellen'.
It was almost like my life was once again, complete.
I actually feel kind of, good, right now. Let's hope this feeling will last...
I'm back to work again tomorrow for another grueling 9 hour work day of kissing customers asses and rushing around emptying cases of product on the sales floor shelves.
My body is so sore right now, even my chest muscles are hurting. I really don't know how much more of this I can take.
On a positive note, though: Most of my Christmas shopping is done thanks to the wonders of Online ordering.
Didn't even have to get out of the jammies.....
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4
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Monday, already??
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Posted:Dec 5, 2016 3:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2016 5:38 pm
18820 Views
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Ugh... I've been working way to many hours. My days are starting to blend into one long, terrible, never ending stream of shit.
Eh, such is life....
Saturday was my melting point and I ended up crying at work.
I NEVER cry at work.
I felt like such a retard. I have been working my ass off at work trying to hold the fucking store together because my counterparts have been dropping the ball continually, and the store manager said to me in a snotty tone "So... What happened last night?!"
What happened????
How about, not a single person stocked ANYTHING all day long and you left it for the closer. How about the fact that NOBODY staged any of the marketing for the 2 hour update we had to do and you CANCELED the shifts of 2 of the people needed to make sure the update happened within reason?? How about the fact that I was scheduled to work until 11pm, I worked until Midnight, and then had to come back in at 9am the following morning for the second busiest sales day of our year???
Needless to say, I went home feeling defeated only to find a note from the downstairs neighbor taped to my mailbox telling me nobody wants to hear me have sex at 'all hours of the night' especially 4 a.m. and that she's pregnant and doesn't care to hear me and my stomping around all the time and that she has recorded me. She came right out and stated it only takes 3 noise complaints to be evicted and put a smiley after it.
Fucking bitch.
Good, bad, or ugly.... I took it to the next level. I have no idea where it will go from here, but I'm not going to live like this.
I made a copy of her note and wrote a little one of my own stating I am being harassed by my downstairs neighbor and refuse to live with her banging on the walls and ceiling and leaving notes taped to my mailbox. I also requested the apartment manager contact me and left it in the office mailbox.
I don't plan to stop living my life.
I'll bet she totally loved the fact that the handyman was out snow blowing the walks at 5 a.m. this morning. We live right next to the office so he ends up doing the most blowing right next to our building.
I wonder if she'll be leaving them a note, too.....
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5
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If I could quit my job....
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Posted:Dec 1, 2016 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2016 8:38 pm
18751 Views
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I would do it in a heartbeat today.
I literally had to tell my brand new counterpart at the store today "I've been working here for a while now, I think I can handle it." Like... WTF?!? Is the store going to fall into complete chaos the moment you step out??? To top it off, she left ME a list of what needed to be done to close.
I wanted to cram that fucking list down her throat the moment I saw the fucking thing.
It's been kind of hard keeping my anxiety at a manageable level tonight.
I'm just ready for the holiday season to be over and for things to go back to a somewhat normal state again. It sucks that my job sucks all the magic and fun out of Christmas for me.
I just can't wait for it to be over.
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