Ramblings of the depraved.....
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It's a fruit fly horror story.
Posted:Aug 4, 2021 6:39 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2021 3:55 am

I got home from work today to discover my kitchen was overrun by fruit flies.

"What the hell is happening here?"

I set my purse down on the counter and the kitchen disappeared in a cloud of black.

Well.... Maybe not quite that bad....

But, it was bad enough that I was looking around to see where the source of my infestation was coming from.

Any fruit sitting anywhere??

Nope.... Check!

Anything in the garbage that would draw a fruit fly??

Nope.... In fact, the flies weren't even in the garbage. Check!

Unwashed dishes creating a breeding ground??

One dried up plate, one dried up fork, a coffee cup with a swallow of coffee and 15 dead fruit flies floating in it, but no breeding ground. Check!

It was during my inspection of the sink that I did discover, though, the fruit fly infestation is likely originating from my sink drain!

Uh... Yah.... totally disgusting.

I know what that means when you have a septic tank and well water. That means you have to get your septic pumped.

But, what does that mean when you have city water and septic???

I ran a ton of water down the drain then put the stopper in the sink but I'm not sure what to do about my swarm.

What do you do with a swarm??

Name it and start charging rent?

Wait until their dead carcasses fall from the air and sweep them into the trash?

Do they crawl into cracks and crevices and disappear from sight??

These are questions that are haunting me right now.

For the moment, I'm avoiding my kitchen, naming my new room mate Brock, and trying to decide how much rent to charge before their lifeless bodies start littering my counter.

Happy Wednesday!
The Douche Canoe strikes again!
Posted:Aug 2, 2021 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2021 6:09 pm

Apparently the fact that I haven't changed my profile is getting under Kingkai's skin....

Today's message states simply

Sooner than later please
8/2/2021 7:16 am

Who is he to decide what I do and do not state in my profile? When did this asshole become the foremost authority in human sexuality?

I'm taking a break from meeting therefore I MUST be a lesbian.

He's acting like a dick, I guess that makes him a dildo....
Boot Camp Boy Update
Posted:Aug 2, 2021 3:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2021 3:30 pm

Seven weeks down, five to go....

I've been keeping my eye on the rental situation near Parris Island, the Spawn and I will need several days simply for the fact that we are driving there and driving back. When there are a thousand other parents and family members that will also be doing the same thing, I didn't want to be left without lodging.

I noticed on Friday that everything is starting to be scooped up....

So, I scooped up our lodging as well!

It's official folks, the Spawn and I are taking a road trip!

I'm hearing word that it's possible I may get to take Boot Camp Boy home with me for his 10 day leave and I'm super excited. Up until now the COVID restrictions in place had the new marines leaving directly after boot camp to their specialized training school....

But I'm seeing in some of the recruit parent threads that parents have been notified they get to take their marines.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Either way, whether I get to take him or not, this Momma Raptor couldn't be any prouder of her .

Happy Monday!
Sunday Comfort Food
Posted:Aug 1, 2021 9:10 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2021 5:06 am
Homemade Pizza

Growing up, homemade pizza meant good times.

Birthdays, get togethers, pick-me-ups on a bad day.

Seeing as how my posts are disappearing now with the new 'community', I'm sure this is a waste of my time..... But on my tablet it has not yet updated and I still have access to the old format.

Thought I'd share my homemade pizza on my bad day.

Happy Sunday!
On today's installment of 'The Spawn Chronicles'....
Posted:Jul 30, 2021 2:11 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 3:56 am

I woke up way to early this morning.


I hate when I do this. I'll get part way through the day and want to just pull out a pillow and take a nap.

The problem with waking up this early is that any hope of falling back to sleep before my alarm goes off is slim. And, if I do fall asleep, I will have only been asleep long enough that I won't want to wake back up when I have to.

I'll be crabby, tired, and an all around JOY to be around.

So I usually just stay up when this happens.

What does this have to do with the Spawn?

I was milling about this morning, trying to decide what shower gel I wanted to use with my shower this morning, when I pulled back the shower curtain to see what I currently had in the shower.

Imagine my surprise to find Barbie dangling from the shower head with a shoe string around her neck.

Yep, it was a jump scare.

Not only did I scream but I also jumped back about a foot.

"Oh my God! What a shit!!"

On the shower wall next to Suicide Barbie was a note that said... 'Aren't you glad I'm home now.'

Never a dull moment.


Happy Friday! TGIF!
And the 'Sweet Talker of the Week' award goes to.....
Posted:Jul 28, 2021 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2021 5:43 am


For sending me THIS lil gem as an icebreaker.....

Straight women looking for a man.... but your taking a break from the meat market. So update your profile then butch!!!!
7/28/2021 8:31 am

Oh, but you make my heart swoon with those magical little words.... My pussy aches between my parted thighs at the mere thought of you....

Said no woman ever you fucking ass hat!

May you catch syphilis and go mad.

Happy Wednesday!
Someone scrub my eyes with Drano!
Posted:Jul 27, 2021 4:03 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2021 3:44 am

Cause, I'm having a hard time unseeing what I just saw....

I was standing up at the front of the store waiting for an applicant when I watched a very large man pull up to the door and hoist himself off the motorized cart he had been riding around in.

Oh dear God....

Apparently his jeans were unable to completely cover his ass while in the sit down position as his hairy, naked ass was exposed to the world in the bend-over position.

I can't fucking look away....

Hiking up his drawers as he stepped away from the motorized cart, I'm certain I saw his scrotum flopping around between his open legs from behind.

"Hey. You gonna put this thing where it goes? It's slow as fuck, you might want to charge it."

Yah, he was looking at me.

"Sure. Leave it there, I'll see that it's taken care of."

We'll just drive that thing around back and set it on fire....

Cause that seat is forever tainted.

Happy Tuesday!
Let's play a little game.
Posted:Jul 26, 2021 3:33 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 3:58 am

We'll call it...

Pain Reliever or Laxative??

I was sitting in the break room at lunch today, glasses off, rubbing my temples when coworker said to me....

"Are you ok? You look like you've got a headache, I've got some generic Motrin in my purse. Do you need one?"

While I usually turn these types of offers down, I truly trusted this person and knew they were concerned for me and genuinely wanted to help.

My head was killing me, so I happily accepted the offer.

I held out my hand and she placed a couple of pills in my palm as we started chatting about weekend plans and whether or not we were ever going to be fully staffed.


I looked down at my palm expecting the generic Motrin to look more like.... Motrin. Instead of little orange tablets I was holding little white ones.

Finally deciding it was just my eyes playing tricks on me without my glasses on, I tossed the pills into my mouth and swallowed them down with a gulp of water.

"Oh, don't take those! I think I accidentally gave you laxatives!"

She was holding two pill containers in her hand. One was a generic brand Motrin, one was name brand Motrin.

"Wait... What?!?"

Yep, you guessed it. For some reason she had put a couple of laxatives in the name brand Motrin bottle and tossed it into her purse. I swallowed down not one, but TWO laxatives on my lunch at work.

Yah... This is the absolute fucking reason I don't take stuff given to me by other people!

"Oh no, you already took them."

You could hear a pin drop in that room.

"Fantastic. I've always wanted to shit my brains out in the public restrooms at work. Everyone else does, why shouldn't I?? This is going to be an interesting afternoon."

As luck would have it, I managed to make it through the rest of the work day unscathed....

I'm still waiting for the inevitable shit storm to to rear it's ugly head.

Wish me luck!
Sunday Morning Review
Posted:Jul 25, 2021 7:13 am
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2021 3:00 pm

It's been a while since I've done one of these....

I found a movie called 'Spawn' this morning. Unable to stop myself, I've turned it on and started watching it.

Let's just say.... It is NOT a cinematic masterpiece.


My biggest question is, how does this Spawn hear when his ears were burned off in the fire? There aren't even any ear holes.

Truly bewildering.

All I can say is, my Spawn.... Much, much cuter than that Spawn.


On the home front I have a brand new set of horrible downstairs neighbors, once again. I don't necessarily think it's the neighbors that are horrible as much as it is the White Trash Mom that is always there. I haven't seen them, but I know it's a very young couple expecting a baby.

Today the Mom had her music blaring at 7am while she sat on the patio, smoking, talking with someone on a phone about how she brought her blanket and pillow and decided to just stay the night.


I bought the Tilly Cat a new gravity feeder a couple of weeks ago so I would be able to just leave for a day or two if I wanted to and know she would be fed and watered adequately.

I'm a lil worried I'm going to be seeing her on a TLC show called 'My 500lb Cat' before long!

Every time I turn around she's at the feeder munching away.

As convenient as it is to just fill it up and forget about it for a while.... I may just have to put it away until those times when I do plan on being gone for a day or two.

I'm not prepared to house a cat that needs an Amigo to go from it's food bowl to the litter box.

On the work front, Boss #2 has begun to exhibit a heinous case of BO. I'm certain it's due to the fact that she wears the same three blazers every day of the week, and I'm also certain these garments do not get laundered.

If given the opportunity, I think they could stand up in the corner by themselves, no human needed.

My God woman.... Get these things dry cleaned!!


On the personal front, I spent my weekend 'in' this weekend. It was a dark and stormy day yesterday.... The perfect day for naps and housecleaning, which I did both. I do love to look around at my clean apartment while I relax, it is definitely one of the better feelings in the world.

And, with that, I'll put this Sunday review to rest.

Happy Sunday!
It's 1:30 am.....
Posted:Jul 23, 2021 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 4:00 am

Of course I'm wide awake.

I'm sitting on my couch with the Tilly Cat purring in my ear, Joaquin Phoenix is traipsing through the woods outside 'The Village' on the TV.

I had kind of a shitty day at work today.

It seems like all of my days are kind of shitty anymore, though....

I am experiencing an unending funk that I just can't seem to shake.

You know that feeling you get when you are keenly aware that everything is changed, that nothing will ever be the same again? I feel that with my life right now and I'm having such a very hard time with it.

Not even the beach is bringing me peace anymore.

I am mourning the absence of my Boot Camp Boy so VERY much. I am pissed off at my father for dying and leaving me with a fucking mess take care of after 38 years of being absent from my life. I am hurt by the Hippie, someone I had once thought of as a best friend and partner in crime, who used my deep seated insecurity against me in my moment of weakness as I reached out him.

And I feel alone in this world.

I tell people a million times a day.... It will be ok.

But, I'm going be completely honest here....

I don't think it will be ok.
Baby mama drama...
Posted:Jul 22, 2021 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2021 9:54 pm

And, I'm the baby mama.

Only, the baby in question is eighteen years old and at marine corps boot camp....

Boot Camp Boy's latest letter arrived today!

I ripped that sucker open while I was still standing at my mailbox. I can't even begin to describe the what I feel when I see a letter from him.

Pride that I have such an honorable young man for a !

Sadness because I miss him so damn much!

Joy when he shares his latest skills accomplishments!

Shame that I sometimes wish he would fail so he will come back home!

Guilt when I go somewhere or experience something fun because he is missing out!

Today I felt a hot bed of seething anger!

In today's letter Boot Camp Boy said he was disappointed in his dad because he hasn't written him a single letter.

Six weeks at boot camp and not one single letter!

The part that angers me most is, two weeks ago the Ex Husband and I already got into an argument about this very subject. He told me then he hadn't written any letters and he didn't plan to.

I thought I was going to kill him on the spot.

"What do you mean you aren't writing him any letters?!? What the fuck is wrong with you???? After everything that HAS DONE FOR YOU over the years the LEAST you can do is WRITE HIM A FUCKING LETTER!!"

I had been so mad at that moment that I fully planned on getting in my car and leaving.

"Letters from home only make you homesick. I used to hate getting letters from home."

"This is [Boot Camp Boy], this isn't you, and he wants a fucking letter from his dad or he wouldn't be asking you for a fucking letter!"

I was climbing into my car when the Ex Husband told me he would write him a letter.

So, imagine my surprise to read in today's letter that he was disappointed in his dad because he still hasn't sent him any letters.

After about a fifteen minute cry this mama caused some drama.

I hopped in my car, drove to the ex's, had a screaming fit, clearly tossed aside any ounce of dignity I once had and demanded he write his .

I even threw paper and envelopes at him.


I was a raptor ready to tear her prey to shreds. My eyes were narrowed, my lips were curled into a sneer, my hands were balled into fists at my side, and I'm certain if I'd seen myself in the mirror I'd be unrecognizable to even me.

The Ex Husband was mad, of course, and walked away from me. For as long as I've known him he has never raised his voice to me. He may say some really terrible, ugly things, but he has never yelled at me or been physical.

"I'll write him a letter."

He disappeared into the house and I got into my car and left.

I really hope he writes that a goddamn letter. I'm a little worried I might just kill my ex if he doesn't.
My headspace is full.
Posted:Jul 16, 2021 3:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2021 3:57 pm

There is literally NO MORE ROOM for add one more worry, insecurity, struggle, or anxiety inducing moments.


The last few days have been so FULL OF SHIT that I just haven't had time take a five minute breather let alone take the time get my hair cut or write a letter Boot Camp Boy.

That said....

Even though I was forewarned by the meme not cut my own bangs, I did anyway.

This morning.

In the bathroom.

With my kitchen sheers.

[insert nail biting emoji here}

We'll see how it turns out when my hair dries and I style it for work today. It can't be any worse than it had been looking.... If anything, this will force get in there and have an actual professional fix my mess.

My father's Brother in Law has been calling me non stop since Tuesday night.

I've grown to hate this man.

He has been asking about my father's van and hinting around that he would like to have it.

"I'd hate to see them tow it."

"I'm sure he had some tools in there."

"I know that it runs well, your dad was a good mechanic."

Any of the Michigander's know... Our secretary of state is open to appointment only visits. I have an appointment scheduled, I had to wait for a death certific and I am trying get this taken care of as soon as I can.

How is he not understanding this??

I finally told him last night that once I got the title I planned on signing it over to him. I have no need for a twenty year old van.

None what-so-ever.

The Hippie also decided to text yesterday.

Burned bridge remorse??

It is now ok, apparently, text him, call him, visit him if I ever need/want .

Uh, HELL NO, fucking asshole.

I was a little childish in my response, but it felt good saying....

"This fat bitch says not a chance. Thank you, but no thank you."

I've got enough of my own drama going on add that train wreck the mix. I just don't have it in anymore.

I can say is, thank God it's Friday today.

I wonder what fresh hell this day has in store for .....

Wish luck!
How was my day?
Posted:Jul 12, 2021 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 3:23 am

I accidentally dropped my hair dryer in the toilet this morning.....

That was the highlight of my day.


Two weekends ago I'd gotten a little too much sun at the beach.

The 'Great Peel' has now begun.....

There's nothing quite like trying to look professional in the workplace while you're MOLTING a layer of skin.

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