HUMP DAY - WEDNESDAY!!!!
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Posted:Aug 19, 2020 9:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2020 8:57 am
6449 Views
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It's Wednesday. It's Hump Day!!! Pretty much the same ol'same day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, working from home is great, no wear and tear on the car but I also don't get out of the house much any more.
In fact, here lately, the only time I enjoy a break in things is if the high school BF comes over for dinner and conversation.
Wow, I really need see what he will do if I initiate a kiss and more...I definitely want a more physically sexual interaction. I'm the only one that can make that happen!!!
Have a great rest of the work week!!
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Sunday Reflections 08/16/2020
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Posted:Aug 16, 2020 2:20 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2020 8:29 am
6541 Views
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It's been a difficult week. I think the pandemic and my mental health are clashing something majorily and not in a good direction. I'll be okay. I don't allow myself to get down too far for too long.
I am blaming this down and depressed mood on the pandemic because life is never going to be as footloss and fancy free as it once was. I have to think now before I go and about. I feel the need to have specific reasons that I go out and no more spontaeous shopping trips to my favorite stores because there isn't much merchandise and it really isn't worth the time and effort to venture forth.
I have been a bit depressed over the fact that I may be regulated to vanilla relationships with men because there are so few truly nasty men that I can trust now that on my own. not going to say I will never come across another nasty man to enjoy some sexual adventures, because they are there, it's just whether or not our pathes will cross or if I'll even be in the mood to venture forth. it's a lot of work to develope those kind of friendships/relationships and I don't know if I want to put that much effort into it all.
The boyfriend is still around. We've had dinner a few more times and have deep conversations but nothing other than a good hug has happened physically between us. I am hoping to get a kiss when we get together next. And the crazy part is going along with it all. I want to see how long it takes to actually get this guy in bed. Vanilla is such a slow process. Arghhhhhh!!!!!
The good news is that all of my adulting may be paying off and enabling to finance my patio/backyard oasis while still alive!!! I've wanted to put in a swim spa and tub for years. I may be able to do just that here in the next months if able to swing the aspects. What started as my curiosity to see if I am able to qualify for financing on my own without anyone's help may be coming into fruition. Hopefully I haven't jinxed it by even writing or mentioning it outloud but pretty confident that I will have a concrete answer in the next couple of weeks.
So, life is what it is right now. The days run into the one another and I have a bit of trouble knowing what day it is. It's a crazy life right now and finding one's way is tricky and somewhat discouraging at times. But hopeful that life will better as time passes...who knows, I may even get to enjoy my boyfriend's cock again only this time knowing what my pussy purpose is and definitely wanting his cock purpose inside of my pussy purpose!!!! LOL
Have a great work week ahead!!!
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FINALLY FRIDAY!!! 08.07.2020
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Posted:Aug 7, 2020 9:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2020 11:14 am
6720 Views
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Sometimes the work week seems drag on interminably...this is one of those weeks!!
I've been trying write down some of the fantasies that I use masturbate myself and I have admit, my most favorite one gets so hot writing about it that I have go and take care of myself and then I'm no longer in the mood type it all out!!! What a cunumdrum!!
Here's what I've got so far:
One of my most favorite masturbatory fantasies that I through my head when indulging myself is that I've been taken captive, stripped naked, blindfolded and bound a gynological exam table May ankles re secured the stirrups, my ass moved the very edge of the table making my hot steaming pussy very accessible whatever my captor decides to do with my pussy. My arms are cuffed to the side of the exam table. I am naked, bound and available to my captor’s whim.
Being blindfolded heightens the anticipation of what is ahead in this adventure. I listen for my captor’s breath, I strain to hear his movements, his bodily sounds, anything to give me a clue as to what is next.
My mind is whirling, I feel the head of his cock? Not sure, there is something rather hard pushing at my pussy lips, which are trying to take as much of the object in as possible…but it is a tease, only brushing cross the straining womanly opening. I want that inside of me…is it his cock?? Is it one of the many toys that are around and ready to use? I feel my captor’s hands moving over my bare skin, touching me, stroking my hard, erect nipples. I can’t help but moan, I want more!!!
More to cum....
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Saturday, August 1st
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Posted:Aug 1, 2020 7:01 am
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2020 11:41 am
6259 Views
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I'm sitting here sipping my cup of coffee, watching an early morning news program and trying line up all the projects I'm thinking I want tackle today. The temperatures are freaking amazing for this time of year, this time of summer in Oklahoma. Temperature is in the low 70s, barely a breeze but it's out of the north when it does tickle the trees...it's too perfect of a day to stay indoors.
My adulting over the past couple of weeks, which I equate adulting to crunching numbers, providing ownership documents and such to my properties, financials, are paying off. The adulting project may just allow me to create my outdoor living space if that's the direction I want to go.
The high school boyfriend seems to have gotten cold feet about building on or creating a new relationship 40 later. That's okay because I've really been questioning myself over the last month as why I felt such a need track him down and enjoy his company. I did not get enjoy him in the sexual arena but not because I did not want . I'm not totally writing him off but I haven't had any response to my last about joining for dinner last night, so time step way back and if he eventually responds, great, if not, well, I've gone 43 without him, I can go on with my life without him.
The reality is that I'm much different than I was in high school. I understand and know how use my pussy purpose. I know what I want and obviously, I'm not afraid venture forth and find it. In this case, I just didn't know what do with it once I found it.
For some reason the clip of a video on the front of FriendFinder-x of the guy eating a gal's pussy, really turned me on. I think I need find a man that will eat my pussy and then leave if that's what I want him do. I want a man eat my pussy the way I want him ...Yes, I miss my least favorite submissive in this regard because he understood it was his place to come to me when I command, do what I wanted, in this case, eat my pussy exactly like I want it eaten, get me off and then leave. The thought of training another man or men to do just that, well, I'm not really in the mood to train anyone. I want instant gratification and that can be easily accomplished by my own hands and toys.
So, today it's all about seeing what projects I can tackle and then maybe getting some prices on the amazing outdoor living space I'm wanting to create for myself that I can enjoy year round!!!!
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Sunday Reflections 07/26/2020
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Posted:Jul 26, 2020 10:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2020 8:24 am
6596 Views
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It's been a week of immense adulting and decision making. There's more come with the adulting/decision making but I think I've got a good handle on what's a head and after all, I've come this far!!!
I've spent the weekend tackling projects around the house. Always good get those projects knocked out one by one. I just finished cleaning up the inside of my car this morning before it got too hot. Now I'm headed back out to tackle cleaning up and off the patio.
I've not heard anything from the high school friend. I'm hoping I'll hear from him when he wants to get together again for dinner. As I said before, I've got mixed emotions about it. I hate feeling as though I'm desperately seeking adult company but the truth of the matter is I am. I'm picky, I know but I have actually found myself missing having someone around. And then the mixed bag of grief emotions flood over me, I cry awhile missing the man, missing my little and the circle goes round and round.
I've been obsessing about Smirnoff Ice - Pineapple. It is an alcoholic beverage that is sooo yummy. I learned from the one liquor store I frequent that it is a summer flavor so when they sell out, that's it!! Well, I called the sister store and they had 5 six pacs. I bought 2 the other evening. I think I will go back this afternoon and buy the other 3 or however many they have left. That should get me through the month of August. I love the Peach Bellini and the watermelon is okay The watermelon and pineapple are the summer flavors. I'm much more interested in the pineapple flavor than the watermelon. Anyway, that's an obsession that I can easily take care of in the next few days.
I've also got to make a decision about my damned clothes washer. I haven't had the energy nor the inclination to dig in and try and fix it myself. I could see if the high school friend would try and fix it but I really don't want that kind of pressure put on him or giving him from me...so, I may have to buy another washing machine which is a pain in the butt because I bought this one about ago and there are so many out now that do ten times what this one would do. Of cousre, if I get a new washer should I get a new dryer. This dryer has had its moments and doesn't dry as efficiently as I would like so maybe a big change and get rid of what I have and get new. But do I want spend that kind of ? Again, more adulting type decisions.
I've been taking the edge off of my sexual desires by continuing masturbate with the favorite vibrator of the wee dI have such a vivid imagination that I can come up with all sorts of scenarios that get mee off in about 5 or minutes. It's a bit easier right now because I seem be on a simmer type mode almost continually. I'm sure this is due thinking about the high school friend and what lays ahead sexually for us, if anything. I have smile because I've found myself really thinking about how clumsy and crazy it was back in high school and now I've got a handle on how harness the most out of my thoughts and feelings and accomplish a very satisfying orgasm. I can't help but think, I've learned my pussy purpose in so many ways since those clumsy gropings back in high school. I had an urge take care of but just went about it as the opportunities would present themselves which were practially non-existent. Wow, quite a journey over the past 43 !!!!
Time get back my patio project. Have a great Sunday and a great work week ahead!!!
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Saturday Morning Pondering
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Posted:Jul 25, 2020 7:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2020 10:24 am
6495 Views
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I've been up and around for hours now. I've been trying map out my Saturday but have yet get much accomplished other than getting my bed made.
My high school friend did not want get together last night for dinner. I was surprised that I had such mixed emotions about it. I was disappointed because I do enjoy talking to him about not only the past but how we're approaching life here and now. I enjoy the adult conversation and company even though I'm trying to figure out the sexual aspect of the relationship.
I was okay with him not coming over because I could get several errands done as well as map out my weekend and food/meals. I could relax and fall asleep on the sofa if I wanted because when he is coming over I run around trying to straighten the place up to where I think it is presentable.
It's just a mixed bag of emotions when I received that "maybe some other time." I know he has a life and he's got do his own thing. When we are able get together, I need to enjoy it and not force anything. What am I afraid of????
I've been doing some extreme adulting this past work week as I have decided to see if I qualify for a Home Equity Loan or Heloc. I still haven't closed on the sale of my deceased husband's land down in southeastern Oklahoma and right now it's looking like sometime at the end of August and maybe not until September before that deal will close. At least I'm hoping that's when it will finally be completed and I can close that chapter. The sale of the farm still has me questioning whether or not I should really sell it and then the voices of reason jump in...yes, I'm a big head case right now!! lol
Anyway, I don't know if I will qualify but I'm jumping through all the hoops and rounding up all the documents that are required to do this deal.. We'll see, it's keeping me busy both physically and mentally.
I'm hoping to get out on the patio and repot a bunch of my patio plants that have outgrown their currernt pots or their current pots are crumbling. It's supposed to be a July scorcher today so I'll have to pace myself due to the heat.
Have a great Saturday and a great weekend!!!
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FINALLY FRIDAY!!!
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Posted:Jul 24, 2020 6:45 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2020 10:24 am
6342 Views
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It's finally Friday AND it's a Friday!!!
I've been busy going through papers and doing some more cleaning out of various boxes and plastic bins getting rid of all the paper items that are no longer of any use or value. Surprisingly enough I have come across several documents that I did need keep, so I've been organizing. I'm a bit aggravated with myself because I should have done this organizing ago but I guess I am being forced deal with it now.
My washing machine is still out of commission so I've been going the laundromat. I am going have deal with either getting this one fixed or going ahead and getting a new one. With everything else that seems be mounting around the house, I'm not sure I can financially swing the washing machine but who knows. It would be much more convenient be able do my laundry here once again. It only takes 30 minutes get one or loads done because I come home do the drying.
I haven't heard back from my high school friend see if he's going join for dinner again this Friday night. We've had dinner together the last Friday nights. I will probably hear from him later today as to whether or not he's going to join .
It's still VERY slow going but I'm adjusting the slow pace. I may have masturbate before he comes over but that will be o I don't want scare him off but then when I really start thinking about it, is this really all that sexually healthy for have go so slow???
I have thought how great it would be have a submissive or that I could summon over lick my pussy exactly the way I lick it, then I would cum on their mouth and tongue, then send them away. I may let them jack off for my entertainment, I may jack them off for more of my entertainment...funny, but my sexual attention span is short when it includes another person. So much more convenient to masturbate myself than to develop some sort of pool of submissives call upon when Mistress is in need of a good orgasm by way of oral stimulation.
Happy Friday!! Have a good weekend ahead!!!
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Loosing Track of What Day It Is - Reitrement?????
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Posted:Jul 23, 2020 8:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:50 am
6249 Views
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So, working from home has left me wondering what day it is exactly when I first get up. I eventually figure it out because my iphone, my laptops and screens all have the date and then I look at my paper calendar to see what day of the week I'm on.
Working from home is great. I don't have to get around and get dressed up for work, just through on whatever, make a cup of coffee and a quick bite to eat and off to the races I go with my work.
So, knowing what day it is and where I'm at on the calendar has become quite a chore. I started feeling really isolated once my was out of the picture. I've had several friends tell me to get another cat or but I don't think I'm in a frame of mind to take on another pet. I am trying to adjust to not having to care for anyone or anything other than myself right now and I'm not going to lie, it's a struggle!!!
I had an old email friend pop up these past couple of days and he mentioned that he was sorry that I was "reitred." WHAT??????? I am guessing the way my profile reads about not necessisarily wanting to meet anyone from this sight gave him the impression that I have retired from sex??????? Retired from the kink?????? I never really thought about how someone would interpret my profile but seeing that he was sorry I had retired gave me the impression that he thinks I retired from sex.
My vanilla friend from high school asked me if I was going to retire from work sometime soon. I told him no. I honestly don't think I could handle not having a specific schedule or job to do. Besides not having the financing to be "retired" I really haven't thought about retiring from the work place.
Then there is the question of retiring from sex. I don't plan on retiring from sex. I still masturbate which is a singular form of sex, self gratification. I would enjoy having a sex partner or two or three, but the COVID19 kind of put going forth and meeting someone or men to the side. I am experimenting in vanilla right now with the old boyfriend from high school and how long it will take me to get him in bed. Quite a tedious challange for sure but it seems to fit where life has me right now.
Sure I've got a friend that wants to finally meet face-to-face over a good steak dinner and then the friend that popped up on this site and via personal email that thinks he's missed out and that I'm now retired from sex...just made me stop and think how folks can interpret something so completely different!
Do you plan on retiring from your employment or job? Will you be able to retire?
Do you plan on retiring from sex?
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SOOOOO SLOW!!!
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Posted:Jul 20, 2020 6:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2020 5:35 am
6349 Views
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I am finding that I am certainly in Sex Hell!! No doubt the now deceased husband had spoiled with the open relationship that we had, the swinging lifestyle before he got too sick to participate in swinging and let's just say, I am going to go completely nuts with the slow progress in the real world or vanilla lifestyle!!!
I am about to go fucking nuts!!! At least I can take some of the edge off by masturbating. I would so love to get naked and just feel that magnificent cock slide into my hot wet pussy. I don't dare say that to this man. I know he would leave as fast as he could manage to get into his car and leave. It would scare him that much. I have had to really hold back on my sexual agressiveness. I want this man. I want to taste him, kiss him, view his cock, make it hard, suck on it, slide down onto it or have him slide it into me with him on top of me...I WANT HIM!!!
I promise I'll respect him in the morning!!! 
I then wondered if it would be the same way with the vanilla dating site that I joined a couple of months ago...dear gawd!!!!  
I guess what it really comes down to is that I am really having to exam where I'm at in my life. Do I want a friend and companion? Do I want a sexual partner, friend and companion? What am I really wanting with this now man, from high school. We were just ignorant at , 18 years of age. I did not really know what I wanted be when I grew back then and I'm not necessarily really sure now other than I would like have a friend, companion, fuck buddy. Not sure I want live with a man ever again but it would be nice have someone that would come over, spend the night every now and then and just chill with me. Is that too much to ask for in this day and age?????
Such is life in the vanilla dating world!!!
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SLOW PROGRESS IN VANILLA LAND!!!
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Posted:Jul 15, 2020 8:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 2:50 am
6129 Views
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Well, I'm thrilled have reconnected with this boyfriend from high school. However, it is VERY slow going as not scare him off. And honestly, I don't think I can scare him off all that easily because I sense that he's thrilled about this re-connection as well!
I will say that this reunion has really made stop and do some serious thinking ...as this guy never married, never had . He says he got close a couple of times but it never worked out that he was able to fully commit to those couple of women.
We haven't seen each other in 43 . He's come over my house twice for dinner and we've ended up talking both times for hours. I am really wondering about myself and why I haven't made a move sexually seduce him. I want kiss him so bad I can already taste him on my lips but I haven't done it yet.
We've hugged a couple of times, but I hesitated go any further with him. What is up with my hesitation???
We both agree that it is REALLY Weird that we're reconnecting after all these . I did tell him that I felt a strong need contact him and initiate meeting face face.
We'll see how this goes. I'm taking it way slower than I normally would simply because I don't want be rejected but then on the other hand, if I am true myself, I may feel a whole lot better about seducing this guy.
I will get a hold of that magnificent cock at some point in the near future...unless I scare the hell out of him and he never comes back!!!
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WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA?????
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Posted:Jul 15, 2020 8:24 am
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2020 11:54 am
4561 Views
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Whose bright idea was it try and change up the freaking IM feature on this damned site?????? Dear god!!!! Now I can't log on the site check blogs or emails without getting covered up with IMs!!!! I HATE THE IM FEATURE ON THIS FREAKING SITE!!!!!!!!
Do you know how many times I've sent a complaint email this site and yet they continue make it impossible access this site without so many damned IMs popping up. I DO NOT IM!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!
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