Sunday Reflections 7.5.2020
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Posted:Jul 5, 2020 8:38 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2020 8:00 am
4956 Views
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It's been a quiet weekend for . I think I really needed this alone time digest the death of my dear little of 16 , reflect on the loss of my husband. just grieve these losses and try regroup and get my shit together.
I've been having even more trouble sleeping these past couple of months. I can't seem to wear myself out enough during the day to stay asleep all night long even with sleep meds. Even the prescription level sleep meds I'm only down for about 4 hours and then wide awake.
I think I rested pretty well on vacation but I still would wake up in the night and struggle to get back to sleep. I keep thinking this is another phase of some sort and maybe I should talk to my doctor but things are so out of wack when trying to get in to see my doctor, why bother?
Of course there are a couple of other health issues that I need to discuss with my doctor, maybe I need to give in and do a video appointment and discuss all that is going on with me right now. I'll put that on my to-do list.
Did I mention that I made contact with the boyfriend from high school that had the magnificent cock? It's slow going but if he's still single it will be worth the efforts that I'm putting forth. I have to be patient. I am hoping that he will want to meet face to face at some point. The thought of getting a hold of his magnificent cock again is well worth waiting for.
The vanilla dating site is going slowly. The daily list of possibilities are so disappointing and so far out of my preferences I realize I need to stop buying into these dating sites like I did. But the was paid and not refundable (much like one of the airline tickets I bought from one of the travel sites and was given airline credit rather than a refund) it's just a crazy time right now.
From the sounds of the national news this past week, it's a good thing we went Florida when we did because I question whether or not we would have been able get home by flying. It was a much needed brea Now try and get some new normal formed.
I cooked way too much food yesterday for my 4th of July celebration. It was fun and I'll eat on it today and tomorrow.
Time for another cup of coffee and to get started on the hundreds of projects to tackle around the house. Have a great work week ahead!!
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Heading Into the 4th of July Weekend
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Posted:Jul 3, 2020 10:05 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2020 10:12 am
4222 Views
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Bonus being a Federal Employee, today is the Federal holiday off for the 4th of July!!
Good thing because I'm exhausted. It's been an extremely emotional couple of days as I ended up having to put my of 16 down yesterday. He was suffering and I will not subject a pet of mine suffering just so I don't have make the decision let him go. It was especially hard because it's just . It was , the and the cat, who does not like but is learning get along with .
So, just as thunderstorms opened up and came a huge downpour here in Tulsa, I was sitting at the veterinarian's office saying good bye to my furry of 16 . The vet agreed that it was time and it was the bests decision for my little buddy. So, we said our goodbyes and I came home and cried and cried until I was able get a grip and get through the rest of the evening.
I slept hard. I'm still sad today but I think letting go of my little buddy just brought all the grieving I've been doing the past year and a half to the forefront of my emotions. I miss my husband, I now miss my little . It's been very strange not having tend him this morning. It will take some getting used .It isn'
The cat is mad at and hisses at whenever she does come out speak . I started crying the last time she hissed at me and I told her through my tears that I didn't want to let him go but it was time. I couldn't see him suffer any more. His quality of life was quickly diminishing and it was time. I don't think she cared. She scurried off to where ever it is she goes to hide out during the day.
So, rough day yesterday. I needed a day to get through this emotional time. I've got a haircut scheduled later this afternoon and I'm looking forward to getting this mop on my head chopped off. It isn't like I'm going anywhere any time soon now that my vacation is behind me.
I've got a quiet weekend here at home by myself. I really don't want to go and be around a bunch of , though I love my grandkids, I'm just not up to enduring hours of screaming, hollering, running from just lit fireworks. I'm in the mood to sit at home, fix a nice steak and lobster dinner, sit on my patio and just enjoy being by myself. I'll have a couple of alcoholic beverages.
I am looking forward to watching the movie, Hamilton on Disney Plus. I thoroughly enjoyed the live and in person version last year when the stage production came through Tulsa. I am looking forward to watching it on TV and just contemplating the storyline and where we find ourselves today!!
Happy 4th of July Weekend!!!
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Sunday Reflections 06.28.2020
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Posted:Jun 28, 2020 7:39 am
Last Updated:Jun 29, 2020 3:23 pm
4363 Views
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I have returned from vacation!!!! I got a full week of rest and relaxation, lots of naps, sun, surf and beach...lots of sand. Lots of family time. Lots of not having be anywhere at any specific time. It was a much needed break from the craziness of the current state of my life as well as many others.
Traveling our destination was definitely trying, full of masks, delays in connecting flights,, lots of unhappy fliers, it was just a crazy time be traveling by air!!
I cannot hear people when they speak with my mask on. I have a small hearing issue anyway so not being able see someone's mouth when they talk made it virtually impossible understand what I was being told. One particular stewardess got in my face and proceeded to ask if I did not understand what she had told . I told her no, I did not understand her. The next thought that went through my mind was I paid for a first class seat to get treated like I was some sort of idiot. I guess she forgot that those of us sitting in the first few rows paid a couple of hundred dollars more than the rest of the passengers...was not my idea of a good first class experience.
Nevertheless, overall my travels to and from were hectic, mask on constantly and getting where I needed to be, much easier than riding in a car for 21 hours if traveling by car. So, air travel was what it was.
The destination was AMAZING!!! I went with my oldest , his wife and . The condo was a very upscale, bedroom, third level condo apartment. It was very nice with a fantastic view of the gulf waters, there was an amazing balcony providing a perfect place sip on morning coffee and listen the waves lapping at the white sand beach.
It was good get home. It was good sleep in my own bed. I feel recharged and ready tackle my world. Time get busy and get things done around the house that I've been putting off and putting off.
At least I have a short work week with Friday being a day off from work for the 4th of July.
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Sunday Reflections 06.14.2020
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Posted:Jun 14, 2020 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2024 5:51 am
4200 Views
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Countdown to vacation has begun!!! I am really looking forward to spending time away from Tulsa, my house, my work, my life.
I'm looking forward to spending time with my grandkids, on a beach, with the waves lapping at the sand, putting my toes into the hot sand...it will be quite a slice of heaven!!
I even took Friday off from work to give myself plenty of time to get myself packed, organized and ready to go for Saturday afternoon.
It's going to be a good work week.
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WOW!!!
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Posted:Jun 9, 2020 7:31 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 6:59 am
4063 Views
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Don't get too excited, I'm referring to WOW, the wind shifted out of the north earlier this evening and oh my goodness, it was amazingly dry and very cool. It cooled things off so much that the AC is now stopping between cycles.
I had all that I could take today with the TV broadcasts on all stations. Seriously, enough all ready!!! I had to find a movie to take my mind off of all the extreme ranting and raving. I've been quite relieved to be at my current job because one of the attorneys that represent the family of the now deceased man was one of the attoneys I worked for at the last law firm I worked at before making the big move to a whole different line of work!!!
There was already an issue growing between me and the attorneys, not that I didn't love my job and was good at it. I treated all of our with the utmost respect but both of my sons are in law enforcement and I know what kinds of crap they have to deal with on their jobs and I have an issue with folks that simply will not pull their weight in life.
Without going into details, I'm relieved I don't work in the legal field any more and watching all this craziness in the world from the comforts of my living room is about all the stress I can take!
I went and did it again. I put a profile up on one of those vanilla dating sites. I'm trying to approach this adventure slow and easy. If someone really piques my interest then we'll see how it goes. If not, it's on to the next potential friend!!!
I need to wrap it up and head to bed. Hopefully there won't be any interruptions in the local 10:00 o'clock news tonight. Tomorrow is supposed to be an amazing day, cool, dry breeze out of the north, temps in the lower 80s. Maybe a most perfect summer day!!!
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Sunday Reflections
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Posted:Jun 7, 2020 10:24 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2024 5:51 am
4077 Views
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Hello Summer!!! Blazing hot temperatures have engulfed Tulsa, OK so now I have no choice but stay inside and out of the heat.
I finally got past the severe reaction the steroid shot I got in my knee this past Wednesday. It was an ugly 48 hours but I survived.
I got mad at the last airline I had booked my flights for the trip in a couple of weeks and cancelled that flight and booked my flights back through another travel site with the original airlines that I started out with. I'm freaking airline ticket poor at this point because I found out that the airline I just cancelled with only gives airline credits. That would be okay if I ever planned on traveling again and quite honestly, I don't foresee any travel plans any destination that would require an airline ticket in the near or far future!!! Not after the bullshit I've been dealing with trying keep my flights in line with my family's flights. I applied for a refund but I am not very hopeful getting a refund but maybe the freaking airline credits.
The rumor mill at work has the return work in the near future as one day a week in the office and the other 4 days working from home. I like it. Especially if there is a surge in COVID19 cases come the fall flu season. I like the idea of only being on the commute one day a week...it will continue save the wear and tear my car/tires and I'll be able get my work week done right here at home. As too when this is going to be implemented, that's the big question now.
I've got too many projects underway today. I've got to get busy and finish some of them in order be able get into bed tonight at a decent time. I do need to go out and get some groceries and house hold cleaning items which for some reason I've been dreading. It's just not the same going out and about to shop.
Have a great workweek a head!!! Coundown to vacation time is underway!
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It's a Disturbing Time
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Posted:Jun 4, 2020 9:52 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2020 10:04 am
3936 Views
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I haven't been online much in the social media spots I sometimes go. I don't have the desire or inclination pursue friendships be they online or otherwise. I pretty much have settled into life working from home and not venturing out unless I have to go to the store or a doctor's appointment.
I did venture out the Friday before my birthday weekend where I ventured down to the Tulsa County Courthouse for certified, file-stamped copies of more probate docs to send in to various offices/groups to try and recover more investments and such from my deceased husband's estate.
I've about given up on selling the farm property of 80 acres any time soon. The buyer
is without a job and government offices that she was doing her financing through have been closed, so who in the hell knows when that deal will come through!!
I did get a steroid shot in my knee in hopes that it will help it from being so painful while I'm on vacation. I'm having a terrible reaction to this shot and if I can make it through the next couple of days without hurting myself and letting the knee calm down as well as my old fat body, I should be good to go for my vacation on the beach in Florida.
I've been hearing rumbles of the start of bringing my office of over 300 people back into the office center here sometime this summer. Word has it that we will have an option to work from home 4 days a week and in the office 1 day. I am great with that. I am so hoping that is what happens!!! Time will tell.
Other than work, eat, poop, sit out on my patio every now and then, that's pretty much my life right now!!! Pretty boring, huh?
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Wednesday Musings
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Posted:May 13, 2020 3:28 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2020 9:34 am
4299 Views
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Is working from home the new norm? For now, it is. The impression I got from a town hall meeting that my office had was that the soonest the higher ups may start moving folks back to an office environment is the end of June. I am hoping I will be able to continue to work from home, it's going well, though I do miss my co-workers. The co-workers that I had become close to text with me back and forth throughout the work day so I am staying in touch with them.
I've got a vacation planned for June. I'm going to the beach with my , -in-law and two amazing grandchildren. I will be the beached whale hanging out with them and you know what, I'm fine with that...who knows when I will get motivated to get back to watching what I eat and exercising!! Anyway, I went all out and bought a 1st class airline ticket, roundtrip.. I'm excited because I've never flown 1st class before, so this will be a new adventure!!
I do have a dental appointment this evening. I''m kind of nervous about actually going out and to a doctor's office, even though it is the dentist's office. It's time to start getting back to maintenance and up-keep appointments like the dentist.
What I'm looking forward to is when my hair appointment gets rescheduled. I looked on my calendar today and I was supposed to go to the hair dresser back around 04/08/2020. I'm trying to be patient but every time I look at myself in the mirror, I realize how much I need a haircut!!!
I learned something new in the realm of psychology. My ex-husband was guilty of the flying monkey syndrome!! This is where a narcissist has someone participate in some form of abuse. In my particular case, my ex-husband would encourage our oldest , our , to follow me around all day long, yelling, screaming and eventually, physically beating me up. I kept this to myself for years because these type of things didn't happen in "good" families...did they? My and I have always had a love/hate relationship, which affects me more around holidays or special days. Mother's Day is a definite trigger date for me. We are currently not on speaking terms, as well as no other form of communication, especially social media...sad but that's the way it has to be. I can't be subjected to her crap over and over again.
Other than discovering flying monkey syndrome, I've had a good work week so far. Time to head to the dentist and see how that goes. Happy Wednesday!!!
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Rainy Tuesday
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Posted:May 12, 2020 9:29 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2020 3:05 pm
4176 Views
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The weather continues present unseasonably cool temperatures and lots of blasted rain. I had turn the heat this morning because the house temperature had dropped down 65 degrees and that's just too cold to function outside of the bed and covers.
I had the pleasure of enjoying my friend, J. last week. He came over and we masturbated for each other and then he played with my pussy until I got off on a bigtime orgasm and then I told him nasty stories while he masturbated himself.
We got high, got naked, masturbated and talked. It was a good way to spend an evening. Yes, we violated the distance socializing in that we were less than 6 ft apart while we masturbated. We both needed the physical, sexual outlet.
Even though I make do with masturbating myself with my various toys and the fantasy sessions in my head, it is nice to change it and have a real live person here with nasty .
I think we are supposed start warming a bit temperature wise tomorrow with a gradual heat wave coming in but thunderstorms are predicted for the rest of the week as well.
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Another Rainy Day - Friday
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Posted:Apr 24, 2020 7:23 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2020 10:43 am
6072 Views
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Dear Gawd, It is ANOTHER rainy day here in Tulsa. At least it is Friday!!! I have my yard scheduled be mowed and edged on Friday mornings but postponed the yard maintenance next Friday as it's just too wet and it is getting ready to rain some more. I don't want my yard guys sinking their mowers in my front yard!!!
Just another dreary day here in Tulsa!
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Thursday
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Posted:Apr 23, 2020 6:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2020 6:56 am
6369 Views
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It's cloudy and a cool 56 degrees outside. I have been sleeping so hard lately that when that alarm goes off, I'm scrambling trying turn it off and justify getting 15 more minutes of sleep in.
I managed pull myself up and out of bed after the alarms went off and managed get my bed made, get dressed and into the living room/makeshift work space and get the TV turned on in there and get my day started.
Coffee. Gotta have those morning cups of coffee which have multiplied in how much coffee I consume for my work day. At least I'm usually done with my coffee by the latest, :00 am.
I've got get with it and get some yearly training done as there appears be several courses that I have complete at various times through the month of May. My immediate supervisor likes make sure we complete required individual annual training courses before the month that they are due. So, off training I go.
Have a great Thursday!!!
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Saturday
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Posted:Apr 18, 2020 9:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2020 6:07 pm
6676 Views
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The days run into each other, I did realize it was Saturday as I laid there in my bed and tried to wake up. I was so tired yesterday. There was a crazy amount of information/material rolled out this week on the various changes that are going to be happening with the department I work with/for. Good changes, changes that should have happened years ago but because of COVID19, the department is pushing to finally bring itself into the 21st century. There is an all out push to go paperless, totally and completely which is HUGE!!!
It will take years to accomplish but I think EVERYONE is on-board and it will happen. It will be a GIANT clusterfuck but eventually there will be some semblance of flow to the processes again.
I've been home alone now for 30 days. My brother is going to come to Tulsa today and bring me a couple of masks that he has that may help me be able to mask up in public without have major panic attacks. Apparently the masks he's bringing are heavy duty and semi-hard so they don't lay right on my mouth and nose, which is what is freaking me out, I feel as though I'm going to suffocate with my current medical mas
This will be the first person that I've actually interacted with live and in person.
I'm also supposed go a funeral home for one of my best friend's mother's viewing. Her mother died this past week of natural causes, she was 97 years old and she died. My poor friend is having a VERY difficult time coming grips with the fact that there are no official funerals and the funeral home agreed have a viewing today but only one person at a time. My friend is down at the funeral home for this viewing from :00 am - 4:00 pm I am pretty freaked out that I need go and I will, it's just got all freaked out because I've come this far with the social distancing and was not able even go view my own grandmother's viewing/burial.
So, I'll venture out later today to be there for my friend. I've made up my mind that I'm only going to be staying 20 - 30 minutes. Then I'll be back home safe and sound.
I've been doing some , calculating on whether or not I can afford to do an outdoor living space that will include a dual temperature swim spa. I want to take out all the green that currently surrounds the crumbling patio that I currently have, that is covered in those tiny pebbles that cut your feet when you try to walk across it barefooted. I want to take out all that is there and lay a concrete slab that will be plain, simple, perfectly draining and so easy to walk across and right to the swim spa. I can envision it, it will be super simple but VERY functional, I'm working on the direction I want to go with the financing but I may have to wait on it all until businesses and government open back up and I get my property down in southeastern Oklahoma sold. I feel that I need to move and do this outdoor living space addition now, not wait, get it done so I can enjoy it. The actual install of the dual temp swim spa won't take but a day or but preparing the pad for it and
getting the patio slab laid will take a couple of weeks from what my research is providing . I've seen some pools being installed in the neighborhood over the past couple of weeks when I've ventured the grocery store and it makes want make some calls and get my own project underway.
It would be a lot of but I have my heart set on doing this project. I want be able enjoy my home over the next years. If I continue put it off, I will never do it.
Other than the trials and tribulations of being quarantined and thinking about what life is going be like as the country opens back up...life is pretty dull and boring.
Happy Saturday!!!
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Masturbatory Observations
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Posted:Apr 10, 2020 7:26 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2020 8:23 pm
8983 Views
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I'm still trying decide if I'm okay with this sheltering in place situation. Not that I have much choice, but it has created a multitude of emotions.
I am working from home. I am eternally grateful that I have a job, that I am able still get a paycheck and keeps busy most of the day. I like that I work the early shift which starts at 7:00 am and ends at 3:30 pm. I have plenty of day light get whatever I need get done before dark, especially with the daylight savings time in place.
I have gained about hours back into my life not having to commute to and from wor 50 minutes each way wasn't bad. I call it my transition time. But no need for that now. I have decide if I'm going have a wine cooler after I finish my shift...after all, it's 5:00 pm somewhere!!!
So, gaining hours back into my life since I don't commute to work and back, well, I've got some time to indulge myself in some satisfying masturbation!!!
I decided to get my g lass dildo out with my favorite vibrator. I love how full my vibrator makes my pussy feel, not to mention how great the rotating pearl like beads are in the shaft, then there is the little bunny that vibrates and tickles my clit...it is truly heaven between my legs!!!
Well, last week I decided to take the glass curved penis and suck on it...OMG!!! That was such a thrill!!! I had a most incredible orgasm by sucking on the glass dildo and fucking my pussy with my vibrator. It was amazing!!! Not to mention how quickly I came!!!!
I tried it again yesterday and same result, a much quicker than expected orgasm of delightful proportions!!!
Just sharing my most recent masturbatory observation!!
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