shd I or not?
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Posted:Aug 12, 2010 4:57 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2010 2:39 pm
6860 Views
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so this much older man wants to play....he meets all my basic requirements ....hmmmm definately something to think about
health wise....heart murmur, diabetic, high blood pressure, high chloest ....sooo many dang pills but finally feeling better
back at work and it's work.....anyother day another bill to pill
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another day - yet another day to piss off my boss
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Posted:Jul 22, 2010 4:53 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
6326 Views
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ok so my employer started months ago with a program where they do not give out any paid time off....instead if u have perfect attendence for three months they'll give ya a bonus of 210.00.....now that means not being late one minute coming into work or coming back from break
so their new thing was you could trade ur hours with others or give ur time away if it did not result in overtime
well how bout this shit......for months....if u give ur time away to have ur shift covered they count that as an "occurance" against you and you forgo your bonus....not only that but it appears as an unscheduled absence...their wording - not a true swap as no hours were picked up
now.... for those of us who have a life there are things that come up like doctor appointments....so if we make sure our shift is covered they are counting it against us
so I send a freaking email to every top in the company letting them know that if it's gonna count against us why the hell are we trying to get coverage - why not just call out
well of course I've gotten no response other than they will look into it
pfffffffttt it's days like this I so wanna tell them what to do with the job - but ya know how it is - we all have bills to pay
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yet another day/week
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Posted:Jul 11, 2010 9:56 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
2649 Views
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so another week goes by at work.....has it's good points and bad...I guess the primary good point is that it pays the bills
I went last w/e to the hospital and thought I'd had a heart attack but no it's colonitis.....very painful at times but can't take the pain pills - they make me too loopy
My says they make me sleepwalk more than normal also so back to the advil
I go in a couple of weeks to see a specialist
I work from home for a credit card company - I've let them know I'm tired of being the donkey they hold out the carrot for so I am actively looking for another work from home position - but I won't leave this one unless I can find one that pays more
so I got a few emails this week from folks interested in meeting at least that's what they always say in the begining...this one guy I tried to call him a few times but never got an answer and no answering machine so he'll hafta make the next move
another couple that peaked my interest....may check them out 
ya never know what ur missing til u try it
I also setup a facebook page - was reminded of someone who used to be a friend but when she got a man she let me know she had no time for me
there is this one game - farmville on fb that I may play around with
muahs to u all
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sooooo
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Posted:Jul 2, 2010 1:16 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2010 2:23 pm
3105 Views
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ok so tyvm from my chatroom buddy for inviting me to ur home. u know who ya are and I will certainly try to make it to one of ur parties.
so, work is work.....I hate it....I wish I'd win the lottery already but for now I'm hanging in there
I work from home and most people would think that's easy but it's not...I'm on the phone all day hearing folks bitch about the interest fee's on their credit cards when they can't make a payment on time....oh well
so I had a fuck buddy who I was intimate with bout three yrs....I wanted more from him....he wasn't prepared for that
so we've been exchanging text messages for a while now...just the hey how ya doing sort of thing
so he sends me a text saying how he misses being with me and am I gonna let him have some more of me
it was a hard decision but I had to say no.....I'd become too close to him for it just to be sex.....so now no more text messages
I hope I've made the right decision.....it wasn't easy....sometimes I crave sex like an addict.....and it's sooooo hard to tell anyone no when those urges hit
anyway...I've been craving it horribly for the past few weeks.....gonna hafta get me some soon.....I just hope the right person comes along...even if it is a one time thing
muahs to my peeps
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just a lil update and rant
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Posted:Jun 19, 2010 1:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2010 6:37 am
3803 Views
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so starting monday I'll be going back to work fulltime. This is the first time I've been able to do that since the loss of my family. So I'm very nervous and scared at the same time. However with that being said....when you loose people in your life that you love I feel that your life cannot end. My life certainly changed and I stopped being able to breath for a long time without it hurting. So we'll see how next week goes.
My rant...hmmm....many of you know I've been on here a long time. I've always tried to treat people nice until they've screwed me over. I've gone to a number of parties hosted by FriendFinder-x members and had a blast at all of them.
There is this one person in my chatroom that has recently been having parties at her home. We've always chatted in the room like we were great friends. However she has decided not to honor me with an invite to any of her parties. Should I feel offended? I don't know. I guess I feel like life is too short to worry about parties that one person doesn't invite ya too. There will be more.
For a long time I've been seeking my other half. Now I've almost given up on meeting him. So I'm thinking why deny myself physical pleasure while waiting and searching for this person.....so I've decided to meet men again from FriendFinder-x for the possibility of just friendship and sex....we'll see...I won't fuck those I don't feel lust in my loins for however
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a good day gone bad
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Posted:Jun 6, 2010 4:29 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
3024 Views
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so today I was in my normal chatroom while there were a couple of folks that I chat with stating how they can't live a normal life or even leave the house when they want because of taking care of their parents
it upset me sooooo much because I choose to share how my lil 21 yr old brother had a massive stroke a few years ago and was confined to a wheelchair once he came outta his coma......he had to have 24 assistance
what family I still had then - that I've since lost - and I took turns taking care of him.....after a couple of years we were sooooo worn out from it
eventually he was able to sit up in wheelchair and wanted to come home to my dads house to live.....so we hired a young girl...I say young she was about the same age as my brother to be a part time caregiver so we could go shopping...out to eat....just to breathe....
well on the way home one day a police car stopped me from getting any closer to the home....my dad owned a junk yard and his house was at the back of the property..
a fire had started...no one ever figured out how
a 911 call was placed from inside the home.....
they cdn't get out....cars were blowing up from the fire...the fire itself didn't completely end or the embers didn't quit burning for days...
we lost my lil brother and his caretake in that fire
I know how it is to be responsible for taking care of a loved one
I know the sacrifices that go into it
I also know that if u pray and u try hard enough there are always options...maybe not the best....not what u wanted...u may hafta compromise but there are always options
I sit here crying like a baby because just thinking about all the details brings back all the old hurts
There isn't a day that goes bye that I don't think of the loss of my:
lil brother
my dad
my mother
my best friend
With my illness I know I hafta struggle to stay upbeat so that I can go on day by day
I don't hang out with folks that I know that are people who give up or complain all the time
life is wayyyy to short not to make the best of the time we have
with that I've said enuff
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personal stuff
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Posted:May 29, 2010 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2010 5:15 pm
3367 Views
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so I decided to blog about something that has plagued me for years....something only a small handful of people know about me
I was diagnoised bi-polar about eight years ago.....not just bipolar but rapid cycling bipolar which means I am constantly stuggling with mood changes
there are highs and lows with bipolars
highs for me include:
wanting to spend money I cant't afford to spend....such as I see a pair of sandels that I like and I buy all twelve colors....or I spend my rent on something that's on sale and I can't control the urges
wanting sex like crazy......almost to the point of that's all I breath, and dream about until the high is gone
speeding in my car driving like a mad woman passing other cars
being bitchy.....
that's one kind of cycle
the other kind is a low
for me that includes:
not being able to get out of bed......for dayssssss except to go to the bathroom
not wanting to talk or be around anyone
sleeping excessively
crying with no reason
those are my rapid cycling phases.....now sometimes....a lot of times...I'm just like everyone else....I'm like in a remission stage to explain it
but the rapid cycles hit u and it takes a bit for u to realize that is what is going on
when that happens I see my shrink immediately for med changes and possible hospitalization
I've been in the crazy house soooo many times over the last few years due to excessive cycling
I've had electric shock therapy....omg will never do that again...for me made things worse
during the last couple of years I've lost my best friend due to a brain anurisism ....my lil brother to a house fire.....my dad due to a heart attack
now one key thing to maintaining a normal life if bipolar is to have regularity/schedules in your life....death is a bitch rolled in nuts
every holiday I find myself crying for hours at least one day....I think about suicide....I've never attempted it....I've used alcohol to make myself pass out
due to the excessive amounts of medication I take...I spend a lot of money on meds and doctors....I sleepwalk, I fall out of the bed while sleeping, and weight gain is also a side effect....I'm very selfconcious that I've gained weight over the past years....
now I only blog about this so that if there are other's that I can relate to in any way, sort, or fashion....I'm there for you
it's very hard for family members of bipolar folks to understand what is happening and society has made bipolar to be a joke...something u laugh about...something u can say...yeah she is crazzzzyyy....well I'm here to tell u that's not the case
bipolar can be managed.....but it takes dedication...and support from anyone you can get it from
that's my rants for today
happy fucking holiday w/e
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bummed
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Posted:May 28, 2010 11:06 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
2452 Views
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so I watch tv with the volume turned down so I can hear the phone ring hoping it's u
so I get excited when I see a bunch of new emails....hoping one is from u
I put my cell phone beside my bed just in case
u don't call, write or visit......I guess when I said the pussy deli was closed u went to find another....
I'm sad but I do hope u find what ur looking for
many hugs and soft kisses to ur neck
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so I tend to be my own worst enemy
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Posted:May 26, 2010 2:12 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
2480 Views
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so per my last blog I went out with a guy for the first time in many months and gave out the cooter.....
I was upfront with him and let him know I was looking for more than a booty call...
But on a later phone call he made a comment about if I found myself at home alone to call him and he'd come over and we'd fuck....
Well that's kind of my defination of a booty call...
So, I sent him an email letting him know that I wouldn't be calling him ....I wd be waiting for his call ...
Now don't get me wrong...I love sex and love it often....but I don't wanna be a pussy deli..
I haven't heard anything.....I may have scared him away....I've done that a number of times....I am too upfront and a lot of folks can't handle it....
Ya'll cross ur fingers for me....I kind of really liked this guy.....what I knew of him anyway....
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do nice guys still exhist? really?
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Posted:May 23, 2010 4:15 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2010 12:55 am
2957 Views
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okay so I went to dinner with this seemingly nice guy this week.............we came back to my house and talked for a long time and became somewhat comfortable with each other.....of course we got naked and had awesome sex.....
but is it a one time deal....should I not have invited him back to my house and given out the pussy so easily....who's to say..
time will tell
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dating
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Posted:May 16, 2010 9:09 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2010 9:48 am
1891 Views
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so for years on FriendFinder-x I've heard guys complain that women say they wanna meet but don't.
until now I've not experienced it but once. this time a guy I met years ago at a meet and greet indicated interest in me. I was honest I did tell him no pussy on the first meet unless the attraction is just so that I cannot fight it.
I was really sure he was gonna come down and see me yesterday but nope he didn't. We were actually on the phone and he suddenly just had to go......strange.
Anyway, I do have a FriendFinder-x originating date next week but I've lost my faith in meeting anyone that I'll mesh with outside of sexually from FriendFinder-x.
Does it still happen?
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speaking ur mind
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Posted:May 12, 2010 12:15 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 6:44 pm
1508 Views
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now I've been an FriendFinder-x member for many years....that being said...I've made lots of friends and offended and been offended by a number of folks.
my general thought process is to be honest.....now a lot of people say that but they don't follow thru....well I do
don't make a comment in an open forum chatroom without expecting people to voice their opinions
I surely don't
if ur feelings are gonna be hurt then keep ur mouth shut....
nothing ventured nothing gained
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