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RESPECT : WE all NEED to do Better  

anastasia666 46F
856 posts
8/14/2016 12:44 am

Last Read:
9/19/2020 6:05 am

RESPECT : WE all NEED to do Better



Hello Dear Readers,

My good friend JN reminded me it has been awhile since I posted a new blog. I had hoped it would be something funny, sexy or even another installment of the " Prince Charming " erotica..

Sadly this was not to be..

Simple Definition of respect
: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.
: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way
: a particular way of thinking about or looking at something

RESPECT...a simple word with so much feeling. I have spoken to Andrew ( Founder/CEO of this website ) about the recent " Petition " that caused so much agony, pain and anger. Yes the Petition violated our TOU..( and yes the blogger knew )

TOU:

Your Conduct. You further agree not to use the Services to:
(a) upload, post, email, transmit or otherwise make available any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable

(m) "stalk" or otherwise harass another person or user or member;

(b) harm minors in any way or commit abuse;

How hard is it to just respect everyone and their right to privacy and to be a member here ? Why blame another blogger because you fell in the rankings on that cursed Blog List ? Why was it her fault that members liked her posts better and commented on them ? How hard was it to just enjoy your own blog and fans and leave other members alone ? Wouldn't you rather have members think well of you then see the jealousy, lack of decency and respect for others ? THIS is not just one members website..IT belongs to Andrew who created it so folks could network, chat, meet and just have a fun, safe place to trade ideas and have conversations of any kind. This is FriendFinder-x...NOT finder, Not I have to be NUMBER 1 always, NOT Juvenile jealous site..say it with me friends...FriendFinder-x..

The petition of hate trying to defame and disrupt the entire blogging process & shame our LBGTQ members was WRONG from the word Go...Yes, a proper apology should be posted by the site for having allowed the petition to be posted as long as it was. The entire LBGTQ community & all members were wronged by the blogger who created this. The fact that so MANY Members are still posting blogs about this issue shows that the obscenity affected all of Us. it still continues now with a new so called Blog about Transgender people and a fake Beauty contest..using photos taken from the web WITHOUT the owners permission. Wrong..So very wrong.

WE all need to do better. RESPECT should be the norm and not some kind of afterthought. I have seen countless attacks on male and female members, employees of this website who had their privacy violated with a former member posting private photos he stole off the web. WHERE is simple respect for one another ? I have fought my own stalker on this site to have her dealt with when she violated my privacy among others. I am not asking for people to be nice or polite..I wish I could but with people hiding behind a computer screen or urging their " fans " to do evil on her behalf, there is no way folks would do that. I can and will ask for RESPECT for all...and NEVER single any member out just because you either do not agree with the way they live their life or practice their faith or out of simple common ugly jealousy.

I am going to work on having the way blogs are listed on site overhauled. No more games or juggling the numbers or cheating. The Blog list should be a reflection of EVERY Blog & member on site who blogs..NOT just one person. I repeat what I have said before...if members dislike other members then IGNORE or BLOCK them. REPORT them for violations and stalking. If a member hates the site or members then they are free to go find any other site they choose to join. I just did a check and see there are more then 2,500 online dating sites with a 1,000 new sites being added every year. I see several online blogging sites..if you want to be Number 1 why not move all your posts and pix to a blog you can control 100 % ?? There would be no other members to get in your way. Just did another check and the G blogs do allow nudity.

PLEASE remember there is NEVER a reason for any member here to abuse, stalk, harass, intimidate or encourage attacks on other members. PLEASE leave other members and their friends alone if you dislike how they live..WHY not concentrate on living your own life ? If you do not like the member or blogger then STOP reading their blogs or posts... RESPECT is such a simple thing to do, a gift to give others and hope someone will give it back to you. KINDNESS is a gift we can give ourselves and others. PLEASE remember you can be a friend or fan and admire someone but you should NEVER feel forced to write something obscene because you think it will impress someone. ALL it does is make you foolish and you are being used. Did you join this site to meet and have fun or did you join to be used and discarded when you fulfill their purpose ?

RESPECT such an easy thing to do...I respect my readers but due to some of the abuse here on site, I have to mark my blog that I need to OK a post or reply before it is posted. Members have used my blog in the past to attack other members and one good friend in the Uk used it once to promote the blogger who wrote the petition. He said nothing to me or even about the post I wrote..It was simply using my blog to promote her as a person, member and blogger. I felt so bad for him because it made him look very foolish.

WE ALL NEED TO DO BETTER

Happy Sun Hugs,

Ana6

Your Faithful A F F Journaiist




I done made the devil a deal
He made me pretty
He made me smart



anastasia666 46F
2231 posts
8/14/2016 4:55 am

    Quoting  :

Hello RB,

Thank you for finding this blog post. I promised Andrew it would be about respect and it was. I think all of us have lost our temper here and possibly even rude to one another...BUT never with the malicious intent that petition had. An employee once asked us all if we ever felt embarrassed about being a member of this site and was it something we hid...I have never been embarrassed until that hateful petition reared its ugly head. I agree with you about our general membership. We have the BEST members & employees and I've been lucky/blessed to have them in my life. I am determined that this site will survive in spite of the evil efforts of a tiny group of bullies. Yes, I said it. There is no better word for them then that one. Feel free to share this blog and let us all take a stand for those who were injured, insulted and hurt. Let's make sure it never happens again.

Hugs & Thanks,

Ana6

I done made the devil a deal
He made me pretty
He made me smart


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
8/14/2016 5:32 am

Ana,
Here's a thought. I've said this many times before but I'm going to try again.
If you like this idea, maybe you can suggest it to Site.

We know that the Site will never get rid of the List. They like it there for newbies to see.
Also, they want the best blogs to show there ( who THEY consider the best, either by unique responders or responses )

How about we randomly rotate the list with only THOSE blogs?

For example... the people that they have on the list right now would stay the same. But every time you re-opened the blog home page, those same names would be in a different random order.
This would make no one #1. But the Site would still have THEIR idea of who is best showing on the list.

There'd be no reason for harassing, behind the scenes trickery, none of that. Why bother? No one is #1.

I really think if they did that it would get rid of most of the negativity that we see here way too often.

They already have the capability (coding) to do this. They do that with the three " Some Actively Watched Blogs " pictures on the top off the blog home page.

It's a good and fair idea.
They're never going to get rid of that list for business purposes and they want the best (their picks) to show there.
This lets them have what they want but stops all the negativity in the blogs.


scoupe42 60M

8/14/2016 6:01 am

I agree, 100 percent!


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
8/14/2016 6:07 am

Awesome post and very much needed- thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


rachel0718 58F
20470 posts
8/14/2016 6:09 am

Spectacular post! I appreciate the time you took to put it together. Classy act on your part and I hope others read this and will be more considerate and respectful to ALL on this site.

You put this tangled mess that it out there and explained it perfectly.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


Rachel Mae


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
8/14/2016 6:22 am

Ana,
I have a question. Seeing that you mentioned the TOU's, I wonder if you could elaborate on them a bit. IF you want.

You said... " Your Conduct. You further agree not to use the Services to:
(a) upload, post, EMAIL, transmit or otherwise make available any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable. "

But what if that happens? What do you do about it?

IF... person #1 sends a E-mail with content that is against the TOU's, to person #2... ABOUT person #3...... can person #1 send that information (on site) to person #3 ?
If so, can it be sent in toto or must some parts be withheld? And which parts, if that's the case?
If as you say, against the TOU's type E-mails aren't allowed, just what can be done about it, if no one can see it ?

This seems to be a question that many have, but I've never seen a official answer.


rob5ice2 66M
199 posts
8/14/2016 7:38 am

Reference - "I am going to work on having the way blogs are listed on site overhauled. No more games or juggling the numbers or cheating."

Good point. But got me thinking. Could this be a reflection of the world we live in. And a result when we create so many different labels, groups, sub groups, sub groups of groups. And so on.

An example is education at higher institutions. Here we have standards that everyone has to 'supposedly' follow. But then nope...there is labels & groups and other such things that causes issues. Hence with all the competition. We wonder why people cheat or go around the system. When they see the system doing the same. And the rules can encourage at times.

But I say...if you really look around in society. Sometimes in the process of trying to help. We create more sub division.

--

Having said that. I did find it interesting that you are taking about being respectful to different people and groups. And so forth.

As you have a picture stating “Be A Real Man and Respect Women”.

When a more appropriate picture to go with the subject would have been. “Be Respectful to Each Other” or something similar? Just my Opinion. We all have our clicks. So from another prospective. What you are implying is women are more important and deserve respect just because they are women. Men are not. Others are not.

And respect is earned... Not given just because of gender or Sex, or so on. That in and of itself go against your premise here. In another post.. or subject... Symbolism has meaning. As much as words do.

----

I like this one.... ‘Be Excellent to Each Other!’ and ‘Party On’....lol

But great post. Hope you are having a good weekend.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
8/14/2016 8:37 am

Thank you Ana! This is a much needed post. I agree with you and I'm really pleased that you've written it. We can be a depraved collection of perverts and still treat one another with decency and respect.

I want to pimp your post too.

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.


QUEENBEEV 58F
4200 posts
8/14/2016 9:30 am

Well said...now if only the one who actually NEEDS to read it...WILL read it.

It's sad that some people have to be told to play nice.

On a site with so many members...you could still have your "fans" and everyone else could have theirs too...there are more than enough friends for everyone.

I never understood why she felt as if you were her friend...you couldn't be anyone else's

It's not even high school antics...it's grade school.

Great post.

Smooches

Come on over...let's play in my Castle! The hide and seek is awesome!

RATEYOURSELF


nicelipss66 48F
24236 posts
8/14/2016 12:46 pm

Hi Ana. Very nice post. I LOVE IT. This like this is what Makes this place so interesting. that we have good people all over. NOT all of us are jealous, Bad, Selfish, Self centered or Attention hungry people. Hopefully one day we all will understand the meaning of the blogs. that this is for fun and to meet new friends or lovers. the opportunity is there for us. and that is what it should be about. to bring people together. Everyone is entitled to talk to whoever they want. No one in here should be own. to not disrespect them for choosing who they want to talk to or be friends with. I also hope for the day when Gender Marker is Respected by Others, and that when someone claims or says who they are. No one in here should question their gender marker. or make fun out it. because that is very disrespectful to people that have work and fought hard in life to be who they are. Then to come to a website of this nature, out of places. and be judged, persecuted and bully. I agreed. That Petition was create it with HATE and For Personal Gain. And it was a hard slap on the face for the LGBTQ community. It also hurt a lot of other people that one way or another have relatives going or battling gender disorder. The whole things was just WRONG. And even more appalling to see how some Bloggers where going for it and signing that thing. Just to be on the side of the disturb person that create it. Very painful to see that. But more painful to see how people that were against it were denied of their saying. deleting their comments and blocking them to manipulate the results. everything was just wrong. the whole thing was a SICK joke and nightmare for a lot of us that had to see that each day for almost a whole Month before I was taking down by the site. It was a clear You are not welcome message to the LGBTQ community and especially directed to the Transgender Community. I really hope nothing of that nature will ever happen or be tolerated in here. nothing what so ever. I hope the site will have the right people on place at ALL times to put an stop to those abusers.

It is also important to note that the "Petition" was just an small part of it. I personally suffer Of Persecution, Bashing. Bullying, Gossip, Name calling. and Abuse For Over 3 Long Months. She would make her personal posts about me and my gender. Who I was or not was. Why men should not interact with me or like me. Etc etc. Also going to any post random posts of men, that had nothing to do with me. and abruptly start talking about me to them. on post that they had that had nothing to do with gender or me. she was trying to fit her agenda everywhere and however she could. it didn't matter if she was ruin other people posts. She was entitled to do all that. she didn't care. it was all about what she wanted. No one else. And I have to see those nasty comments day after day. for over 3 months. It was equally painful to see how some others will just look to the other way and leave everything at drama. Yes. to them was all drama. But here is the catch Ana. It was drama when I was trying to bring the problem to light. but it was never drama on her post or what she was saying and doing. Because they were sure commenting there agreeing with her or simply commenting on her nasty posts. Then have the nerve to call it drama when someone else would post against it. They were either: Hypocrites. Scare of her. Maybe they like her nasty ways. Maybe they are made same as her. Or Maybe they were scared to not see her very rare few butt pictures of her. If they say something. you know, cause those pics are like gems. you can't find them too often.

I Personally think the BEST apology the site could give to all the affected members. will be to removed/suspended the abuser(s). That right there will be the BEST apology. Because it will help others to forget not having to see the abuser(s) each day. And it will send a very STRONG and CLEAR message out there to others. That is what I personally would want or like to see. And I am sure that a lot of the affected members are hoping for that as well. That will be the best vindication and Apology from the site.

Ana. I truly love this. I am so so glad that the site is working to patch things up with all members. It is also very comforting to see that the site was NOT approving that Petition or behavior. Things went thru the cracks. that is all. but it was NOT approved by the site itself.

Ana. I am also asking for your PERMISSION to Pimp this post with some friends, other bloggers and people that were totally against all that abuse that was going on. I want them to see it. That way they know that all the fighting effort was worth it. Thank you for the post. It was so nice to finally read something like this. there is always light at the end of the tunnel. and there is always good people out there that protects and defend others from the evil or the wrong. I know that first hand. because I got all that in here. I am in DEBT with so so many wonderful bloggers that reach out and gave me a comforting arm around me. so many of them posting against that. talking how bad it was. when no one else was talking about it. Elastic heart, Kzoos, Resident Bitch. Buni, KitKat. Myelin, Pandora, Rich Walker, KtMnDu, Katie Prevar, Countessmelville, Missy. And many others that I don't remember at this minute. those were the ones to QUICKLY POST and were openly against it. I myself posted about as soon as I saw it. yes. right as I saw it. but I did it on my own way because I knew that was very personal to me in many ways. After all was done and over. I saw the kindness of so many wonderful people, that is when I knew there was more fair honest people in here. than the hurtful, bad bullies people. Also note. That a lot of people sign that thing because they don't know what was the motive behind me. they were practically manipulated to do it. and they fail to check the true motives behind it. I don't blame them. they didn't know that they were dealing with an evil sick person. I have no hard feelings against them. some of them have even come over to my blog saying Sorry. and apologizing for it. admitting that they sign it because they didn't know what was going on. that they got talk in to doing it. that the person told them a very different story by private emails. I have proof of that on my blogs. where some has openly say that. Of course, She never told them the true motives behind it. that everything was for personal gain. that it was all her own, selfish, jealous, sick agenda.

I will never stop saying Thank you to Everyone who one way or another took the time to speak against the cruelty that was going on. I am in debt with so so many bloggers. that is why I am back. to show them and prove them that their effort was not in vane. that good things are coming out of it. and that I personally will never let them down. I have some good positive surprises coming down their way. to just give me time. and they will see the beautiful things happening even outside from this site. just because of them. They are the ones who deserved all the credit. cause nothing of this would had been possible if they didn't fight it. They stood the ground and didn't moved. tenacious, incorruptible advocates in all this. I will Thank them and remember them til the day I die. Including those bloggers like Terranova and others that even broke ties with her over that. and became strong shoulders of help and comfort to rely on. In a way all that was need it. cause it sure left people's true colors on the open for all to see.

Also note that a lot of good bloggers like Terranova (That were her very close friends/supporters before all that happen) and others left. because they couldn't admit being on a site that all that was going. seeing the abuser going on day after day not getting stop. many people were left feeling impotent and they choose to leave the site, because they did not wanted to be a part of the injustice that was going on. thru some other bloggers. I been able to have contact with them outside from here. and are talking to some of them in to coming back to the site. They left after I took time off from here to work on things with out being hurt/abuse every day. I was never running. but they didn't know that. I need it to get out of the fire line in order to concentrate on find the proper channels for help. IN and Outside from here.

I am so sorry for the long post. my apologies. but there is so much that I would want people to understand and see. that I have to take the opportunity to do it each day. so that we never forget what happen in here or just sweep it under the rug like nothing. think twice in the future before calling it or leave a drama. sometimes. when someone cries for help. is because something bad is going on. is because something is hurting them. stop to look at it. pay attention. And if you wish to not get involved. then don't do it. but that meas on BOTH sides. Be fair.


Laxgeek36 53M  
620 posts
8/14/2016 1:24 pm

Well stated Ana


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
8/14/2016 1:27 pm

    Quoting  :

There IS a place for all of us here. And it has to be safe for all of us.

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.


mufdiver69er2 63M  
1953 posts
8/14/2016 1:37 pm

very well said...bravo!!

woop woop


MrRareity 64M  
4589 posts
8/14/2016 1:44 pm

Good post Ana! We all have bad days and have done things we have regretted. But when we continue to keep on then I don't consider them to be mistakes, but they are out to hurt someone. I have seen this being a member for a number you years. It's amazing how just one person can generate enough negative energy that others pick up on it and run with it. It is sad that the site doesn't do more to stop this. About 8 yrs ago this happened and it finally reached the FriendFinder-x legal department. They did put a stop to it because the site could of gotten into trouble.

What is sad is were all here to have fun, make new friends, and maybe find that one person we fall in love with. If we read something we don't like or we disagree with then there is no reason as adults we can't either say nothing, or try to say what we want to with respect. Maybe, the site should change the agreement we all sign when become members should change.

Again, good post Ana,
John

We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we have only one - Confucious


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
8/14/2016 1:45 pm

Very well stated blog everyone should read and agree to this..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


bamaman359 64M  
1624 posts
8/14/2016 1:46 pm

Men need to respect women, women hold all the cards


tommy609z 64M
576 posts
8/14/2016 1:58 pm

Thank you ana---- well said and I will try, but if i see bullying, i will try to keep calm and help who is being bullied.


KItkat1415 61F  
20051 posts
8/14/2016 2:29 pm

I love how well written this is and forthright.
Thank you! This is what we have been wanting the site to say to those of us who felt that the blog post in question was not only in bad taste but disrespectful of a whole group of people.
With your permission, I would also like to pimp this post.
I would love it if the blogger in question would be held to the rules, as everyone else is.
This would be the third time that she has been sanctioned and her profile suspended. I think that means that she should not be allowed on the site any longer. She has several profiles and ALL of them should be taken down and disallowed.
Thank you again,
Kitkat

The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
Come check out my blog
KItkat1415
check out this post by me
Adventures In Body Grooming
#39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath
If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40


northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
8/14/2016 2:34 pm

Thanks

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


hotmamamm 48F
16916 posts
8/14/2016 2:49 pm

Thanks for your post. I personally think the list should not exist and it would be more peaceful in blogland. So many blogs are overlooked and truth be told they are the ones that tend to be the most creative. By them not being acknowledgement over silly numbers is a shame. The glitches on the blogs are frustrating. Comments do not go through. People are not held accountable for their actions when they do break TOU's. Which in eyes makes the site just as guilty for allowing this lack of respect and bullying to happen. I am not trying to be rude and I do appreciate all your help and supporting this cause I just frustrated that this is STILL a issue to begin with. Once again thank you for the post and I will support you anyway I can Happy Day To Ya


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
8/14/2016 3:03 pm

Ana,
I'd like to pimp this post the next time I post.
Is that OK?


proteus_2a 58M
7979 posts
8/14/2016 3:05 pm

Right on my lady

P


rachel0718 58F
20470 posts
8/14/2016 3:23 pm

I would really like to share this on my blog. Please allow me to do so. Thanks!


Rachel Mae


scott6250 61M

8/14/2016 4:06 pm

I absolutely agree with your post. Everyone should be respected.

"Sweet, steamy, sensuous kisses light the bright fires of passionate lust within us." scott6250


bestfriend2156 68M
840 posts
8/14/2016 4:14 pm

thank you for your thoughtful post. Respect should be viewed as a basic human right.


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