Swinger Party Host’s Nose Broken After Guest Couldn’t Find Trousers - a Blog Post by humorlife

Blogs > humorlife > Confessions of a Lifestyle Man

4929 posts
1/15/2016 2:59 pm

Swinger Party Host’s Nose Broken After Guest Couldn’t Find Trousers

A simple set of lockers – or even a rack of baskets – would have avoided nearly U.S.$7,000 in medical fees and a multitude of troubles for a Lancashire, England IT professional.

Folks who have never attended a swing party might not be aware of a small-but-significant concern: By such parties’ very nature, guests are going to spent considerable time away from their clothes and wallets and other valuables. Some bring little pouches for condoms, lube, and anything else they might need: Swing parties might be one of the few places on the planet where fanny packs are not sneered at, although readers may wish to translate “fanny” into whatever appropriate terminology is used in their location.

All that is a longwinded way of saying street clothes and the rest have to be stored somewhere. Larger clubs often provide lockers or locked baskets for their guests, with keys on loops that can be worn around the wrist or ankle, as is a guest’s wont. Smaller events usually rely on an organizer or worker to guard a room or pile of personal items.

The latter system usually works out reasonably well. By “reasonably” it means that guests don’t mind a few disappearing items which are genuinely lost. In-home party hosts often wind up with a collection of undergarments or unopened condoms scattered around. The former are usually held in hopes that guest will call and claim them, while the latter are usually placed in communal condom jars.

But everyone once in a while something goes missing which is so significant that its loss has to be resolved immediately. This was the case for Thomas Wardrop, an IT professional who, according to the UK’s Sun newspaper, got himself good and racked up on booze, cocaine, and play during an all-night orgy, only to realize in the harsh light of morning that he couldn’t find his trousers.

Wardrop had every reason to be concerned: His plight, per an article in the Sun titled “IT boss battered swingers party host when he couldn't find his trousers after all-night orgy” meant that he’d be showing up to his home without his pants. This would doubtless have been confusing to his wife, who hadn’t attended the party with him. Seems the woman Wardrop had brought to the party wasn’t his spouse.

Upon realizing his dilemma, Wardrop took actions which must, in his altered state, have seemed perfectly conducive to apparel-finding: He began punching and head-butting his host, breaking his host’s nose in the process. In court, the party host presented a medical bill for 4,800 pounds – more than U.S. $6.800. The host also claimed that he and his wife had to redecorate after the party in order to clean the bloodstained floor and furniture.

For want of a pair of trousers, Wardrop’s wife left him, the courts handed him a 21-month jail sentence suspended for two years with 250 hours of unpaid work, levied a 2500-pound fine (nearly U.S. $3,600) and a slapped him with a 12-month driving ban. He also, according to reports, managed to rack up 50,000 pounds (U.S. $71,300) in credit card debt, although the article didn’t say whether this was due to lost wages, divorce costs, or both.

Side note: There’s a lovely apparel store close to Wardop’s home in Buckshaw Village, Lancashire called Nigel Clare. A decent pair of men’s trousers will run between 70 pounds and 140 pounds – and the traditional English reserve means that while shopping in one’s pajama bottoms might not go unnoticed, it probably would go uncommented on. Another 70 pounds fetches a lovely “reet” men’s shoulder bag.

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic

firedup_19 62M

1684 posts
1/15/2016 3:12 pm

an expensive piece of tail, for sure

Swinger Party Host’s Nose Broken After Guest Couldn’t Find Trousers 12 Next

Swinger Party Host’s Nose Broken After Guest Couldn’t Find Trousers

1
2 Next