91 Days on here...
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Posted:Apr 12, 2017 8:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:30 am
26869 Views
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Today is the 91st day I have been on here, since coming back after a 7 year absence. 34 blog posts later, 170 readable and replied messages, 4 new friends, 4 top fans, a date in the bag, in 2 weeks time, 2 promising gals, for meetings in the near future, viewed 1000+ profiles ( only on the drop down mini profile box ) been viewed 180 times. That is quite good for a 54yo man who is a standard member, don't you think?
A big big thanx to my few selective friends, viewers, watchers, those who leave comments, and my fans! You have put me on the "most active" blogs page in the UK. My fans, you have put me quite high up on the "popular members", ( 1st in Middlesex! With a badge! Yeehaw!) I just wanted to tell you I appreciate it, and thanx again! I never set out for the last two, but I will not lie, it feels great! A mental hard on! When I win that lottery, I will be leasing a little Greek island ( as they are never for sale ) in the middle of the Aegean sea. I will be buying an internet title. I will be known as prince philosopher the 1st, or something! My island will be run as a municipality, a state within a state, with it's own laws and regulations.( Still to be made, so suggestions please...when the time comes ) And you will all be personally invited, to stay for as long as you wish!
This post is dedicated to all of you mentioned above.
A day in the life of an FriendFinder-x addict.
07.00 Wake up, turn computer on, go shower and shave.
07.30 Look at the bottom of the screen for e-mailed notifications.
07.31 Read mailed notifications and delete.
07.33 Log in. Check who viewed me, check my blog, check where I am quoted, check recent posts, leave comments.
07.45 Get dressed.
07.50 Make coffee.
08.00 Check where I am quoted.
08.05 Have breakfast, on a tray, on my knees, in front of computer.
08.15 Check who viewed me, my blog, where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments. Check if any of my friends are on IM.
08.30 View top members, in Middlesex, in England, in UK.
08.35 Log out.
08.40 Get a notification e-mail.
08.41 Log in. Check who viewed me, check my blog, check recent posts, leave comments.
08.42 Log out.
08.43 Have a smoke with the last of the coffee from the kilo made earlier.
08.45 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
08.46 Log in. Check who viewed me, check IM, where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments.
09.00 Remember I need to send some important e-mails.
09.01 Log out.
09.10 Finish with the important mails.
09.11 Look at my home page, the news, my eBay selling account, funny videos on the tube.
09.15 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
09.16 Log in. Check who viewed me, recent posts, leave comments.
09.20 Go read old messages.
09.35 Go read my old blog posts and comments.
09.50 Check who viewed me, my blog, where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments.
10.00 Log out.
10.01 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms. Decide to fight back.
10.02 Play gin rummy, backgammon, with computer. Win neither.
10.20 Discover fighting back does not work.
10.21 Log in. Check who viewed me, my blog, where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments. Check the chat rooms.
10.30 See live broadcasting members.
10.31 Decide if I want to have some "safe sex".
10.45 Discover I run out of tissues last night.
10.46 Log out.
10.47 Go back to the bathroom for a quick wash.
11.00 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
11.01 Log in. Check who viewed me, my blog, IM, recent posts, leave comments.
11.10 View my own profile.
11.15 Remember I need to go food shopping or starve to death.
11.16 Log out.
11.20 Do supermarket shopping. Check the hotties at the cosmetics aisles. Go and pay on the prettiest cashiers till.
11.30 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
11.31 Log in. Check IM and chat rooms, recent posts, leave comments.
11.45 Think what to blog about today. Who ever joined up on here and thought "mmm, blogs"
12.00 Open notepad and start typing.
12.05 Delete everything and start again.
12.10 Save notepad and close.
12.11 Check who viewed me, my blog, where I am quoted, recent posts.
12.20 Log out.
12.21 Watch the news from the Greek channel.
12.51 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
12.52 Decide to fight back. Play another session of gin rummy.
13.00 Find out that fighting back does not work, again.
13.01 Log in. Check recent posts, leave comments. Reply to messages.
13.15 View flashing message on computer screen. It says "You have been online for a year. Do you wish to log off and get a life?"
13.16 Click on the "not now" button on screen message.
13.17 Check who viewed me, my blog, where I am quoted.
13.20 View top members, in Middlesex, in England, in UK. View my own profile.
13.30 Check who is broadcasting live.
13.35 Open new box of tissues, just in case.
13.45 Log out. Visit bathroom again.
13.48 Decide if I want to have lunch, or check on my blog, again.
13.50 Have a quick sandwich.
14.00 Log in. Check where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments.
14.30 Remember I am meeting one of my daughters.
14.31 Log out.
14.32 Get in car and start driving.
14.33 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
15.00 Meet the .
16.30 Chat about my blog, online friends.
17.30 Log in. Check my blog, where I am quoted, recent posts, leave comments. Reply to messages.
17.50 Get everything ready I need for a long evening in front of the monitor. Food, water, candy, tissues. All ready, here we go!
17.55 Change in to dressing gown.
18.00 Check the chat rooms. Start chatting with woman named party knickers. Ask her if there is a party going on, and if I am invited.
18.10 Ask party knickers to a private chat room so we can be more comfortable.
18.25 Party knickers and I are getting it on. In real life this would be considered foreplay.
20.25 Finish up with party knickers.
20.26 Check who viewed me, who is online, in UK, in Greece, in France.
20.35 Do some online stalking. Visit blogs page, read comments, time posted.
20.45 Have a smoke and a beer.
20.40 Log out. Watch more news, local, Greek.
21.20 Start feeling withdrawal symptoms.
21.25 Log in. Go read some blogs.
23.55 Wake up with qwerty inscribed on my forehead.
24.00 Log out. Kiss my monitor good night, turn computer off, go to bed, and dream about FriendFinder-x.
And a couple of online dating jokes
"DICTIONARY OF DATING"
DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
IRRITATING HABIT: What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
NYMPHOMANIAC: A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.
SOBER: A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
LAW OF RELATIVITY: How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
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MEN ON LINE
Men Online Hall of Shame
The Player
This guy just sends out messages and chats online practically full time. As soon as he gets you in the sack , he is on to his next conquest. He is slick , I hope you recognize him. In retrospect you are quite relieved you insisted on a condom despite the intense pressure and questionable "latex allergy" excuse.
The Instant Relationship Guy
This guy tells you all sorts of bs ...I met you and pulled my profile ... Where have you been all my life ... I want to take you to my business trip to Europe with me ... I am falling for you ... I think you are going to marry me ... You are so amazing , etc etc. Wear hip waders, the shit is deep.
The Liar
Similar to the above guy, but these types are more creative, with a wider range of lies ... they will lie about their age , height (like you would not notice? ) , where they live, marital status, job, whether they smoke or not, whether they have or not, if they are dating someone else, etc. Do not forget the classic ...I will call you . Basically, you can tell if they are lying , their lips are moving. They are the most common type found online.
The Dumb Guy
Poor bastard could not spell if his life depended on it. Too clueless to run spell check on his 5 sentence profile. I like purty gurls. No punctuation. Even misspells his profession , how scary is that ?
The One Good Picture Guy
Just has one good picture from the right angle that makes him look acceptably cute. Does not look like that at all in person. Frustrating when you had agreed to meet him for dinner and it ends up Dutch. He should pay just for the inconvenience of his misrepresentation.
The Ugly Guy That Wants a Supermodel
Annoying , the guy somehow reached 35 not knowing that he is a 4 out of 10. Constantly sends emails and instant messages the hot chicks, the 7 to 10 out of 10. Would never have the courage to approach them out in public, subconsciously knows they are out of his league. WHY don't you want to date me ? Sorry, you are not my type. What is your type ? etc etc.
The Intolerant Guy
This guy is abusive if you do not agree with his religious beliefs, etc. Or will tell you that you are weird if there is something about you that he does not understand. An insensitive prick. Does not really like women that have opinions , on anything.
The Sketchy Guy
The only thing you find out about this guy is his license plate number and cell number. You will date this guy quite a few times but will never find out any personal information about the elusive sketchy guy. You will never know his last name, see where he lives, or know where he works. You will never meet any of his friends, coworkers or family. Nothing, nada, zilch, zippo. You will wonder if he did exist at all.
The Retro In A Bad Way Guy
I think it is the mustache from hell. This guy desperately needs a Queer Eye makeover. Has not shopped for new clothes in so long that he is a sad case. Has potential, if you have the patience.
The Bitter Divorced Guy
This guy bitches about his ex, how she spent all his money, he never gets to see his , she cheated, she was such a cow, never gave him a blow job, etc etc. Waiter, bucket full of bitter, please. This guy is devoid of any positive thoughts, and emotionally unavailable. Suitable for dating robots.
The Dad
Unfortunately the only time this guy gets to see his is on the weekends, which coincides with when you want to go out and have a fun date with him. Always says ... my beautiful 4 yr old , etc. Why doesn't anyone ever say, my ugly little brat with behavioral problems . Indulges his every whim because of divorce guilt. Unfortunately the ex does too, and Junior pays the price.
The No Sex Drive Guy
Good sex at first but then loses interest. Forgets to mention that he is now on anti depressants, which has killed his sex drive completely. Do not take it personally , the Limp Noodle is not because of you. Good thing you stumbled upon them in the bathroom cabinet when you were looking for the soap .
The Cel Phone/Blackberry Guy
So attached to his device he does not even know how to turn it off. Face has odd green glow from peering over that little screen every time you are not looking, go to the washroom, etc. This shifty eyed techno addict has the attention span of a mosquito. Usually jumpy and hopped up on coffee too.
The Horny Webcam Guy
Very soon into your chat with horny guy, he will suggest that you chat on camera, show you his abs, and ask if you have a camera. Never seems to actually date, always online looking for fresh fantasy material.
The Freaky Foot Fetish Guy
2 seconds into chatting he will ask you what your feet look like. After 2 polite questions feigning interest in your profession/personality/picture, asks if you like your feet worshipped, licked, or covered with cum. A tad too intimate too soon.
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Women and men at play
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Posted:Apr 9, 2017 9:04 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:12 am
23583 Views
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Well, after popular demand, ( 2 out of 2 women loved it ) I am posting this as a blog post. It is words for when women and men engage in self service. Some are good for the boys too, like "Having safe sex". Can we make a similar list? I will try and start you off.
SELF SERVICE FOR WOMEN:TERMINOLOGY
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Date with Slick Mittens
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let the Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spelunking
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Three Point Shot
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers
Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff the Weasle
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Creamin'
Coming Into Your Own
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing the Rotary Phone
| SELF SERVICE FOR MEN:TERMINOLOGY
Aiding and abetting a known felon
Bashing the candle
Beat the bishop
Be your own best friend
Blow your own horn
Bugger your hand
Building upper-body strength
Butter the corn
Buffing the banana
Brushing up on your typing skills
Calling in the secret service
Check for testicular cancer
Checking the plumbing
Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
Choking the chicken
Cleaning your rifle
Cleaning out your account
Consulting with your silent partner
Coitus interruptus
Date Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters
Date Rosie Palm and her five sisters
Discovering your own potential
Doing your homework
Draining the pipe
Exercise one's right
Exercising your right to privacy
Ensuring your next sperm is fresh ( not past the sell by date )
Extracting the protein
Fisting your mister
Flogging your dog
Floggin the frog
Flogging the hog
Flogging the log
Flute solo
Free Willy
Get to know yourself
Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
Having a posh wank ( with a condom, so no mess )
Hitting too close to home
Hold the sausage hostage
Holding your own
Jerkin'the gherkin
Liquidating the inventory
Locking the bathroom door
Look for ticks
Looping the mule
Love's labors lost
Lubricating the love monkey
Manual labor
Manual override
Master Bacon, meet Rosie Hancock
Making magic with leftovers
Onan's olympics
One gun salute
One man band
One-night-stand with yourself
Painting the pickle
Play tag with the pink torpedo
Play the skin flute
Play tug-o-war with Cyclops
Playing it safe
Pocket pinball
Pocket pool
Polish the family jewels
Polish the helmet
Pull your own leg
Pulling your own weight
Roll your own
Roping the pony
Romeo and himself
Rub one out
Run off a batch by hand
Sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights
Safe sex
Saluting the general
Sampling the secret sauce
Secret handshake
Seeing my mistress ( when you use your other hand)
Self exploring
Shake hands with the unemployed
Shake hands with your wife's best friend
Shoot for the moon
Shooting yourself in the foot
Sizing things up
Slap high fives with Yul Brynner
Slap pappy
Slap the donkey
Solo flight
Solo marathon
Sperm evacuation
Stretching the truth
Take matters into your own hands
Take part in population control
Taking a few practice shots
Taking a load off
Talk quietly to yourself
Tending to your own affairs
Tossing the turkey
Unloading the gun
Wake the dead
Work things out
Working at your own speed
Wrist aerobics |
Aha, a wanker joke!
Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well
dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ....... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Pat: - Er ... mmm ........... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Pat: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you
have a large garden then you have a large house?
Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ......... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical
to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
quite probably married? And with a family?
Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four .
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?
Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?
Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Pat: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!
Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Seamus: - What's that then?
Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Seamus: - Nope
Pat: - Well then, you're a wanker
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Did you know...
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Posted:Apr 5, 2017 7:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:12 am
22417 Views
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I read often here about people who have experienced problems with fake profiles. They could been harassed, trolled, stalked, played, or even stood up.
This post is about something YOU can do to spot a fake, step by step. Apart from the obvious tell tale signs. Things like for example,
Location
Middlesex, Newcastle
or California, New York
Grammar
I like to meet a women who are sexy
or I supposse I woud axcept new frends
Content
I only look for one on one, and gang banging on the interests
or yadda yadda yadda blah blah, incomprehensible jabber
Other stuff
Pics not relating to age
or pics from the net
Wanna be detective? Now you can! Ever thought a profile from someone on here looked suspicious? Asked your gut feelings? See if the profile is dodgy or not by simply, doing the ...internet thingy. Let me explain.
This works! But you have to either be a gold member, or somehow, by spending some points maybe, have access to the profile. All this info was kindly posted on a blog of someone else many years ago. It is not my idea or discovery. I am just passing it on, sharing it again, for those who may be interested.
Part 1
1. View the "suspect" profile
2. Right click on the profile background, somewhere neutral, an empty spot anywhere on the page, and select "view page source" from the drop down box that appears.
3. A new text tab/window will come up, click "Ctrl + F" to get a "search" area in the lower left of the new text tab/window.
4. If you want to search for the IP address, type in "fromip" and click the down arrow. Do not scroll the page down, just the down arrow on the box.
It will look like this: fromip=00.000.000.000
UPDATED: ONLY TYPE THE WORD "FROM", IF YOU STILL WANT TO KNOW THE IP ADDRESS, AND THE RESULT LOOKS LIKE THIS FROM=00.000.000.000 THE LON AND LAT WORK AS MENTIONED BELLOW, THANX.
But, IP addresses can be faked. This place collects GPS data as well, and that can not be faked! Or with great talent and difficulty, like landing on the moon!
The same steps to locate someone's IP address in their profile are used as the steps to locate the GPS only instead of typing in "fromIP" in the search area at the bottom of your screen, you type in "lon" and "lat" respectively.
You will see many lon instances, on it's own or included inside other words, like lon g, or alone. You will also see your own longitude ( you will know it is yours, as it will be near data mentioned on your own profile, as you are currently on the profile page as well ) until you get to the one that looks like this lon=-xx.xxxx , and is different to your own.
Just keep clicking on the down arrow of the search box at the bottom of your page, and you will find it. Don't give up, as there are many instances present, but it is there.
When you do find it, make a note of the numbers.
lat works exactly the same, many instances again where the word is highlighted alone or included inside another word, like temp lat e, but again, keep clicking the down arrow in the search box and you will get to lat=xx.xxxx.
Make a note of this one as well.
Close text tab/window
Part 2
Visit the 3 W's latlong dot net or any similar. Insert profile location ( where the suspect profile says it is located ) in "Place Name" and click find. The Lat and Long numbers will appear just under the "Place Name" on the box.
They should be very near the numbers you wrote down from your search on the text page, if there are big differences on the digits, ( see part 3 ) you have just fished your fake profile, totally on your own!!! Pat your self in the back, and proceed to customer services with evidence on hand!
If you are been harassed, trolled, bothered in any way from different profiles who may be coming from the same place, as in location of the device posting, you can now go to customer services and show them the evidence.
Part 3
Explanation about digits in the figures of lat and long. Have a look to see how much a couple of digits difference could be in actual distance!
Degrees of latitude and longitude can be further subdivided into
minutes and seconds: there are 60 minutes ( ' ) per degree, and 60
seconds (") per minute. For example, a coordinate might be written
65° 32' 15". Degrees can also be expressed as decimals: 65.5375,
degrees and decimal minutes: 65° 32.25', or even degrees, minutes,
and decimal seconds: 65° 32' 15.275".
One degree of latitude is approximately 69 miles, and a minute of
latitude is approximately 1.15 miles. A second of latitude is
approximately 0.02 miles, or just over 100 feet.
One degree of longitude varies in size. At the equator, it is
approximately 69 miles. The size decreases to zero as the meridians
meet at the poles. At a 45 degrees latitude, a degree of longitude is
approximately 49 miles
And I even found a...fake joke!
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first
Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following
Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and
they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
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#29th Virtual Symposium "Working at Petinos"
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Posted:Apr 4, 2017 4:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:12 am
18653 Views
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This is my 2nd entry for this month's symposium, shorter as promised!
Find the 1st entry for April here 29th Virtual Symposium 3939My 1sthotel3939
I started work in this summer hotel in Myconos, Petinos, after my Sebastian the seaman days on the ships, early 80's. ( see 1st entry ) Education continued...
Just on the other side of the road from Petinos, there is this patio area from another hotel, build up higher than street level. Me and my friend used to sit up there after work every night, have a smoke and a drink, gaze at the stars and talk rubbish for hours. We called it the wall of philosophy. The balconies on Petinos were all touching each other, and so were the balcony jumpers, every night. The initiation of what became my people watching addiction!
There is this hotel, right on the beach
loads of pretty rooms, a balcony on each
at Platy Yialos Mykonos, Petinos is the name
with all that's going on, what a lovely game
Families and friends, during each day
nights sordid secrets, sighs on the bay
patrons are happy, polite and genteel
becoming animals at dark, and dying for a feel
They all go jumping balconies, every night late
looking for the other one, one more perfect mate
I look at you and think, one more secret dance
a sexy story to be lived, a holiday romance
Singles married and attached, your forbidden candy
I watch you all from my wall, escaping feeling randy
if you're quick I see you back, before the night is out
and if you're late you get caught, you'll go without
Every night's show, grab your early seat
don't you even blink, don't you miss a beat
tomorrow at breakfast, morning's guilty looks
watch them all at peace, what a bunch of crooks
Fourteen days later, all tired and spent
goodbye they say, they're happy and content
back in the next year, we all had such fun
the sea and wine, and all the food and sun
I see you next summer, I'd say with a look
I seen you jumping balconies, you're in my book
maybe next summer, when you go exploring
I'll go to your room, your Mrs likes adoring
And so they leave, the new ones come in
all are new and innocent, but eager for a sin
this is never tiring, the whole seven months
the sex over the balconies, the kisses and the laughs.
I never knew the reason, but I kept returning
season after season, never stopped the learning
the good life at max, work in a hotel
watch out you lot, I have so much to tell.
Oh look, another hotel joke
A man checks into a hotel while on a business trip and he's feeling a bit lonely and frisky. He thinks of one of those girls that advertise in phone boxes. He goes into a phone box near the hotel and finds an ad for a gorgeous girl called Erotica. He copies the phone number and returns to his hotel. When he's back in his room, he figures, "What the hell, I'll give her a call.
Nervously, he dials the number. A woman answers in a sultry voice, "Hello, can I help you?"
"Gosh, she sounds sexy", he thinks, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot and I want it now. Bring toys, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. I want to tie you up, spank you, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?
She replies in her sultry tone, "Sounds fantastic to me, but you need to press 9 for an outside line, Sir".
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#29th Virtual Symposium ''My 1st...hotel''
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Posted:Apr 2, 2017 12:21 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:11 am
23479 Views
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Going out
A year after leaving school at 14, I was working on my first boat in the photo, 'Eftihia', it means happiness.
My first ever time going out with the rest of the crew was always going to be an exciting event on my noetic calendar. I mean, they were all old timers from 30's to 55's, and me, a 15yo novice. They were willing to show me the ropes, and I was eager to learn.
We all piled up in five black little Morris Minor taxis. We drove out of the harbour, after bribing the customs men at the gate with a few packets of marlboro, so they would not be difficult jobsworths. And we wanted to give them a little free taste of what we would be selling them later. We were getting them from the ships own duty free shop at one dollar ten cents, for a carton of ten packs. Selling them for the equivalent of nearly a tenner in Rupees. We would get as many as we could en route, as the shop was sealed up during our stay in harbour, then proceed to hide them everywhere around the boat, so we always had a hidden stash, for when we were on the dock. I preferred this maths lesson, than any at my old school. And I was learning fast.
The journey to the club was a hair raising experience, to say the least. Imagine a 3-4 lanes one way road, filled up mostly with all these identical black little Morris Minor cabs, they were real tiny in 1978, all overtaking past each other at speed, interchanging lanes suddenly, without the slightest look in the mirror or indicating. Well, they could not indicate any way, as the hand that was not holding the steering wheel, was somehow super glued on the horn. Like bumper cars, at high speed, beep beep, whoosh, zoom, beep beep.
At the club
The eye behind the hole gave us an examining look before the metal door opened. This was a private seamen's club. The place for anyone who wanted sex and was willing to pay. We entered the club around 9 in the evening and started walking between the tables towards the bar. There were a few men there, few busy tables, but it was full of women. When I say full, I mean a hundred gals, maybe more. One cupped my balls as we walked towards the bar, and said, hello huni, want some company? Some of the crew intervened, leave the baby alone they told her and sort of tried to usher me towards the bar. We never made it to the bar. A couple of crew at the front of our line, were pulling tables together and getting chairs for everyone, in front of the stage. Her hand was still on my balls. I did not want to go anywhere, not even sit down!
Jenny Rita was a tiny little thing, at about 5 foot tall, she came up to my shoulders, in her mid 20's. Loads of long curly black hair and two beautiful big eyes. And a nice hand! We stayed in the club for a few hours. Watched the sex show, had a few drinks, danced, told a few stories, and played a bit of wandering hands with our women. There was an 'early exit' fee if you took a girl out before a set time. Most of the crew were changing women during our time there. I did not want to let Jenny Rita even go to the rest room. Her hand and my balls were getting well past the best friends stage. On the way out one of my fav songs came on. I was not even tipsy from the alcohol. Ok, just a bit. But blind drunk from the excitement. As I was already out of the door, but could listen to the loud music, I climbed up on a parked Morris Minor, and started dancing on it's roof. Jenny Rita joined me. The next minute, there was 5 of us, two on the hood and two up on the roof with me. Four women and this novice, had a quick last dance and a laugh. Damn, I remember this like as if it was yesterday. And it's been 39 years! I almost remember their perfumes.The small crowd around the car started clapping, as we finished our dance and jumped off.
The hotel
The ride to the hotel was as hair raising, as by now expected, just shorter. All the Morris Minor cab drivers were explaining to their own passengers that we had to be dropped off, a block away from the hotel, and then walk pretending to be some tourist who met some local hotie earlier on, as was illegal.
We were told to walk straight past reception and get in the lift. A person would appear later and take the money for the room from each of us.
It looked such a grand place, there were ten wide steps surrounding the whole length of the building from side to side, leading to the front door through some columns. The police were parked up outside. We could feel their eyes on us as we climbed the steps and went through the door. Inside, it looked clean and peaceful. The receptionist looked above his desk and waived, like if he knew us. The high ceiling gave the place an extra feel of luxury.
We were all on the same floor, the top floor, dedicated to the girls from the clubs, and visitors, seamen, or whoever wanted a place that allowed women from the clubs. We all chose to pay our woman and room for the night, and it came with dinner. Nothing fancy, 2 soft drinks, 2 plates of some meat with rice and some bread. I was not hungry, not for food anyway. I shut the door as the waiter left the room. I was so excited. There was some light from the street bellow entering the room via the large window. I started on Jenny Rita. I could just about make up her dark skin, her tiny body, her hard nipples.
After about 3 hours, I heard a door slam outside, and some voices. Then some loud laughing, more door slamming, and more happy voices. I could not hear clearly what was happening, and didn't care either. Little Jenny Rita and I were going through the whole karma positions book, page by page. One of my mates knocked on the door. I got up and opened it. There was a little auction going on in the corridor. About seven naked girls were parading around, each going up to the boys rooms doors, which were all open by now, and giving them a sexy little dance, and a giggle, promoting the goods so to speak. Come on, Dimitris said, lets swap, we paid for the whole night, so it does not matter, the girls don't mind and we love it anyway. Go away you perv, I said slamming the door. Jenny Rita was my first woman. How dare he? I was not going to swap her with no one. Ever!
By six in the morning I was experiencing my 1st ever 7th orgasm! We sat up on the bed and had a little cuddle as the rain was tap dancing on the corrugated PVC roof. I felt so serene, at inner peace, so happy, complete. And she was happy, for a job well done. We were back on our ship, a hair raising 20 minutes later.
This was the first time I stayed in a hotel in my life. I never knew that hotel corridors can be such fun places at 3am! And what a great idea it was to have all of us on the same floor. I have stayed in hotels a few times since, and if I am alone and still awake at 3am, I often give the corridors a reminiscing look! No more Jenny Rita, Dimitris asking to swap, or an auction, sigh!
Day 2
Raj, the top customs man at the harbor gate was the man in the know, for everything. And he loved Marlboro's. And we all loved him.
Dil, the whoosh, zoom, beep beep specialist was our dedicated means to get me and another 3 crew, there and back, in one piece wanting the custom, all the custom!
Sati, the eye behind the club door, given up checking after the second night, if he heard us outside. Sometimes the door was open, before we even knocked.
Casim was the guy who would come in the rooms, after you were there already, bringing the dinner, and getting the money for the night.
I never knew any of the police men outside the hotel, but I think they knew us, and Jenny Rita, and Casim. Corruption is great when you are at the right side of it.
Infatuation
The same game was repeated night after night for the next two weeks. The hair raising on the way to the club. Jenny Rita's hand relationship with my balls. The hide and seek with the police outside the hotel. The nightly auction at 3am outside the rooms, on the corridor. Dimitris's asking for a swap. Every night, the basterd. I kept my promise, I never swapped Jenny Rita. Are you kidding me? How could I ever? She was my 1st and I was 15.
Bye bye Jenny Rita, and thank you!
We left Sri Lanka a couple of weeks later, but Jenny Rita never left my mind. We sailed to Singapore, and stayed for a month and a half, on dry dock, at a place called Samba One. Next on the list was Bangkok for a month, first 2 weeks inside, on the river, and last 2 weeks at an island, just outside.
I loved this new school and all the learning. And this was...just a job? My friends would never believe it, and why should they? I could hardly believe it myself, and I was there!
I know this was a long post and thanx for making it to the end. I wanted to 'take' you there, I couldn't just throw THAT hotel out there on it's own. My second symposium entry for April coming soon, will be much much shorter.
And a short hotel joke
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'!
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Fake profiles...gotcha
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Posted:Apr 1, 2017 9:11 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:11 am
24997 Views
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Happy April's fool day to all. This is about fakes on here and no prank at all!
The sage anagrams from the words "profile" and "fake"
Here is a sample
Flakier Comparative form of the adjective flaky.
Faerie The enchanted realm of fairies.
Parole Release a criminal from detention
Pilfer Make off with belongings of others.
Faker A person who makes deceitful pretenses.
Flake A person with an unusual or odd personality.
Fleer Contempt expressed by mockery in looks or words.
Folie A psychological disorder of thought or emotion; a more neutral term than mental illness.
Frail Easily broken, damaged, or destroyed.
Freak Someone who is so ardently devoted to something that it resembles an addiction.
Leper A pariah who is avoided by others.
Lifer A prisoner serving a term of life imprisonment.
Peril Pose a threat to present a danger to.
The fake profiles detective is here! If you are a gold member and suspect that some of those contacting, harassing, trolling, or bothering you are fake, at major percentages, not if they say they are taller or slimmer, but fake in relation of their true location and what they may say, on their profile you can find out. If they say they are in London for example, on their profile or comment, but they are actually somewhere else in the world, Scotland or China, there is a way to find out. It is quite easy, and it works. But you have to be a gold member with access to profiles. It was spotted years ago on another members post or comment. I am repeating it without her knowledge, I have no way to contact her and ask her, but I am sure she won't mind. And we all say thank you Evil Ely,( not her past username) for telling us all about it. I do not see any reason to post this here, but if you are been harassed, trolled, or bothered in any way, this might be a solution. I am not promising. If interested you know what to do ....oh look! A private messages link on my comment! I wonder what it does...
And to keep up with tradition, here are the funnies
What some tourists thought was fake
From Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guests' complaints during the season.
1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned
3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
5. A tourist at a top African game lodge over looking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
7. "The beach was too sandy."
8. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
11. "We bought' Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The were startled."
13. "There was no egg slicer in the apartment..."
14. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish..."
15. "The roads were uneven.."
16. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
17. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
18. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
19. "There are too many Spanish people.. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.."
20. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
21.. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
22. "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
23. "My fiance and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
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Yeah I know, they walk amongst us and they vote!
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Brave man jokes
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t * ts in there.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
If your is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy
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Oh no, April the 1st tomorrow
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Posted:Mar 31, 2017 6:17 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 3:11 am
22854 Views
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April's fool day tomorrow. The day, the only day in the year, I am not risking arrest by playing a prank on someone. Watch out people. Good pranksters always keep a straight face. Here is some of my favorite pranks.
Ask your police person friend to give you a few meters of that tape, with 'police' or 'crime scene' written on it, and wrap it around your target's gate, car, shed.
Ask a traffic warden to give you some of those waterproof holders they use to stick parking tickets on car screens, and stick them on all cars on your street. Empty. For bonus points add a personal note explaining you just wanted to prank them for April's fool day, and include the number of your boss/mother in law/best enemy, etc
Place a knorr cube, or a small piece of it inside the head of their shower. Chicken should be quite effective.
Take a large pack of condoms from the shelve in the supermarket, and place it on someone's trolley, while they are not looking. Or a hair product on a bold guys trolley.
Mayo filled donuts for the .
Take a 'sold' or 'for sale' sign from a house and stick it on your neighbors/friends house.
Super glue a coin on a busy pavement, and watch how many try to pick it up.
You know it is April's fool day on FriendFinder-x
For the boys
1 You found a nice woman
2 She is local
3 A woman has sent you a first message
4 Your profile was viewed 1000 in a day
5 IM works
6 You got a reply to your first message
For the girls
1 You received a message with more that 4 sentences
2 No dick pic attached
3 A nice local man has messaged you
4 Your profile was viewed 0 times in a day
5 IM works
6 You messaged someone first, and they never replied
Did you say Jokes?
UK WEATHER
In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury, and The Royal Commission
for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate
should no longer be referred to as 'British Weather', but rather than
offend a sizable portion of the population, it should be referred to as
'Muslim Weather'
In other words……………partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
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WHERE WOULD YOU BE:
IF - YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES?
IF - YOU HAD NO WORRIES?
IF - YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU
IF - YOUR BATH WATER HAD BEEN RUN?
IF - YOU HAD THE PERFECT ?
IF - YOUR PARTNER WAS AWAITING YOU,
WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES?
SO, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
Well..... HELLOOooo!!!!!!!!!
YOU'D BE IN THE WRONG FUCKIN' HOUSE!
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A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that"
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars? "The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that MONEY to fix up the house and send you to a great college!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million dollars could buy?"
The boy pondered that for a few days, then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, sir. Potentially, we're sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a queer."
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Letting her go
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Posted:Mar 28, 2017 11:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2023 9:55 am
23306 Views
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I woke up that morning with a big head and a heavy body. Conversations mixed with the alcohol from the night before were still swirling in my head. Confetti in the breeze. A foggy mess. I needed to sort it all out, once and for all. I felt really tired, but I had slept for more than seven hours. That is much longer than the normal. Sitting down on the kitchen table, I picked up the newspaper and had a sip of my coffee. I scanned the headlines. After a few moments I put the paper down. I could not concentrate. Things were on my mind. Thoughts about last night, that woman in the bar, the Indian restaurant, that other woman still asleep on my bed, and all the fun we shared. I barely knew her, and just about remembered her name was Deepa. I better stop this habit, dragging strangers here every Saturday night, I thought as I quietly opened the balcony door and stepped outside, holding my coffee. The sun was up already, melting the chill on the air. I scanned the scene ahead of me. What a pretty picture that tree made, with the sun just behind it. My coffee and the melting chill woke me up even more. My head started feeling better. The confetti was settling and feelings were all falling to place, fog disappearing. I had to let her go. This seemed the right time. It was now or ever. I closed my eyes...
Morning, she said, as she stepped out wearing just my shirt, and stood next to me. I kissed her lips once more. What we doing for lunch?
Lunch? What lunch? We never signed up for lunch! Plus I was meeting Vassilis, my old mate, for yet another bout of backgammon over a few ouzos, for lunch. It was booked ages ago.
Suddenly, I felt I had to let her go, even more than a minute ago. Just couldn't, yet.
Sorry, I said. I am visiting my sick grandmother in hospital today. May be another time.
She gave me a look. One of those. She knew.
Well ok, maybe another time, she said smiling. Coffee smells nice.
Sit down, I go and get you a cup.
We sat down drinking the coffee and chatting for about an hour. I wanted to let her go a few times during our coffee chat. She was a nice woman. But not my type. Well my drunk type, evidently.
I was feeling annoyed, for making a pig of myself last night at the Indian restaurant. I had four onion baggies. And the rest! I love Indian food, but maybe I should not of had all those tasty onion baggies! My love for food affects my love life!
I really really needed to let her go. It seems my guardian angel was near by. Deepa started talking about her last holiday.
'I would love to see the photos, I said.
'I just go and get my phone she said, standing up.
I stood up and walked to the edge of the balcony.
I closed my eyes, relaxed, said my goodbye and I let her go!
Pffffffffffffffft
At once, I felt a different man, a happier person, the new me! I wanted to fart for ages!
You ok there?
The voice came from next doors balcony, John had sat on his bench for the last hour, unnoticed.
Are you under pressure, because you seem to be leaking, he said with a smirk on his face.
I am good, I like Indian food, but it does not like me much,I said, feeling my face getting red.
Deepa came back out and sat down. After showing me her holiday photos, we finished the coffee, said our goodbyes, and I seen her to the door. One last kiss, and she was gone.
I started running a bath for myself. It would be Monday again soon.
Why do I 'celebrate' Saturday? It is just 2 days away from the dreaded Monday. Should it not be Tuesday, which is six days away? I don't like Mondays, I thought as I climbed in the warm bath.
And a 'windy' joke
Farting People
The Vain Person
One who loves the smell of his own farts.
The Amiable Person
One who loves the smell of other people's farts.
The Proud Person
One who thinks his farts are exceptionable fine.
The Shy Person
One who releases silent farts then blushes.
The Imprudent Person
One who boldly farts out loud, and then laughs.
The Unfortunate Person
One who tries hard to fart, but shits instead.
The Scientific Person
One who farts frequently, but is truly concerned for the environment.
The Nervous Person
One who stops in the middle of a fart.
The Honest Person
One who admitted he farted, but offers a good medical reason.
The Dishonest Person
One who farts but blames the dog.
The Foolish Person
One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.
The Thrifty Person
One who always has several farts in reserve.
The Anti-Social Person
One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.
The Strategic Person
One who conceals his farts with loud coughing.
The Sadistic Person
One who farts in bed and then fluffs the covers over his bedmate.
The Intelligent Person
One who can determine from the smell of his neighbor's fart, precisely the latest food items consumed.
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Sex date, coming soon!!!
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Posted:Mar 27, 2017 10:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 2:44 am
23088 Views
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I have been on here now, the second time around, since mid January this year. I did not pay for any membership, as I do not feel this is the right time for me, yet, to start meeting people. But there are exceptions to every rule. Plus, what would the girlfriend say? LOL! ( Ok, that was a joke and there is NO girlfriend! )
So I have no need to send any messages.
I spend my time on the blogs pages. All is quiet. But there is loads happening beneath the surface. Messages from women who I either commented on their post, or girls I have never seen before, like in having viewed their profiles, or had any kind of interaction in the past, are flying back and forth. Some of these messages are, how can I say, flirty and suggestive, in veiled subtle ways, that some women seem to have a speciality in writing. Things are getting pretty hot. There is sex in the air. Seems there is no need to pay any money to get sex!
I have even bagged my self a sex date! Everything is in place, just waiting for the day to arrive. Sex is guaranteed. It is the kind of one time per year sex, a one night stand. It has been repeated, every year, around the same time, with the same type of person, at a time where the passion and wanton can not be contained any more! I can not stop thinking about how my body will give and get relief. The scratches on my back from the passion. The weak knees. The dry mouth and dizzy head. That feeling. I am so excited.
Guaranteed sex date, on early April. I am definitely getting some sex on the day. Got to do my self assessment for the inland revenue, and the tax man, keeping up with tradition, will screw me again, for yet another year!
And some jokes, of course
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office, but she belonged to
someone else.
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll
give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you, but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend
down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a
moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend, so she
called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said ask him
for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to
get his pants down.
So she agreed and accepted the proposal. Half an hour went by and the
boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45
minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened.
She said "The bastard used coins"
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety
before agreeing to it and getting screwed.
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A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to
her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"
"No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the
next stop.
The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says: "I can tell you
how to get to have sex with her!"
"Yeah?", says the hippie.
"Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at
midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood,
put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery
claiming to be God."
The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as
suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his face.
"Have sex with me."
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal
sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he
jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
"Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"
"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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Links
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Posted:Mar 24, 2017 8:31 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 2:43 am
23025 Views
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One can almost spend all day in here, clicking on the links, and still end up with a sore finger and about half way down the list. Finding out stuff about this place, wondering, questioning crucial facts like why is there no women seeking anyone among the 43 men of the Federated-States-of-Micronesia, are the men just ugly or have they eaten all the women? ( is the 'micro' in the name a hint, in a world where size matters? ). Are the 7 women seeking men in Western Sahara happy with their 48.7 men per woman ratio, and what is the ratio of men per camel? What do the women of Guinea Bissau with their 108.2 men per woman ratio think about that? Are they all happy couples in French Polynesia and Tahiti or is there no internet yet, and other life changing astonishing revelations.
But what if instead of say, having a 'who viewed me', or 'who flirted with me' link, we had a 'who wanked on my pictures' link? A 'did they cum easy' one, or 'were they happy afterward'
What about a who pulled a face of disapproval, or laughed to my comment, profile or post link.
How about a who viewed me and thought 'mmm...I'll fuck that' or 'yuck...fuck that', their address and ( read my book, when I finish it: Stalking for the self employed ), who thinks I am sexy, an old perv, interesting, boring, prince or pauper. If you could just make up any links for this place, what would you make?
I will try and start you off, for the gals on here, it may be a trash bin, where you could just drag and drop, profiles you may think belong there, after an IM enlightening convo, or a message of 4 words with yet another cock pic attached, or even a lie detector filter, and for the boys, the truth link, where you see her real age, and exactly what she looks like today, or a snakes and ladders game for getting out of the trash bin. What new links would you like to see on here?
And here for some funnies while you're thinking about it
I was in a great mood... And then ... I rear-ended a car.
So there we are along side the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... (and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny)?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... He was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said 'Well, which one are you then?'
And that's when the fight started.
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To make it stand,
You wet it !
To make it wet,
You suck it !
To make it stiff,
You lick it !
To get it in,
You push it!
Damn !!!!!!!
Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!
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Grandmas don't know everything...
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other .
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'
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A boy in high school finally got a date with a beautiful girl that had quite the reputation for being friendly with the guys. So that Friday right after school he ran right down to the drug store. He was walking around looking, and looking ... finally the pharmacist came up and asked if he could help. The boy explained to him about his date and that he needed to get something. The pharmacist shook his head and said he understood - went behind the counter and brought out three packages - a single condom, a pack of three and a six pack. The boy said... well she has such a reputation ... I better take the three pack.
Later that night the boy went to pick up the girl at her house and she invited him in .. apparently her parents wanted them to eat dinner with them before they went out. The boy didn't like that idea .. he just wanted to go. Alas, the girl won out and the boy went in for dinner. When supper was put on the table the father said it was time for the blessing .. the boy jumped in and volunteered... and he went on and on and on. He thanked and blessed everybody he could think of twice and some other people too! The girl nudged him and said .. You didn't tell me you were so religious ... the boy looked back and said ... You didn't tell me your dad was a pharmacist!
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There was this guy who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles a day. One morning he looked into the mirror and admired his body. He noticed that he had a nice suntan all over his body except for his dick which he decided to do something about. He went to the beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his dick which he left sticking out.
Two little old ladies were strolling along the beach. Upon seeing the "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane while remarking to the other lady, "There is no justice in the world." The other one asked, "What do you mean by that?" The first old lady said, "Look at that, when I was 20, I was curious about it, when I was 30, I enjoyed it, when I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it, when I was 60, I prayed for it, when I was 70, I forgot about it. Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat!"
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The perfect woman, not my type?
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Posted:Mar 21, 2017 6:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 2:43 am
23646 Views
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I am so excited! I have received my first message, from another country. You know, the blurred one, that I can not read unless I buy membership. It probably says 'You look handsome. BTW, have you a bank account?' I won't be buying membership anytime soon. Not even to read it. I think, being in another country, she is defo not my type.
But I could let my imagination take over once more, and think about all the sexual detail, sensual innuendo, erotica, and promises made, for when we meet. Oh, the times we would spend together...if I only gave her my credit card details, so she could verify me, ah the poor girl, she had such tough times, she can not trust anyone, without a credit card!
But she is not my type! She is around mid twenties, somewhere in the middle between the ages of my two daughters. I have my own limits when it comes to age, the age of the women I like to meet. Women I am looking to play with have to be at least a few years above the age of my older one, to be my type. I am old fashioned. I would go with someone much younger than me, but not younger than my older . Plus some women of lets say mid thirties, have not even had their yet, or they have very young ones on tow. What would a man of my age, who does not want anymore , want to do with them? Nothing wrong with you gals of that age of course, just not for me.
So up the age to another decade at least, for my lowest limit, from mid forties, now, that's my type. For a girlfriend kind of woman, a regular thing.
On the other hand,
just for fun,
one night stand,
no thank you ma'am...
oops, I almost forgot, I don't do those! But women in mid 30's would be my type, then. If I did! Now, why any mid thirties woman would want to date a mid fifties man, ( talking about me, not a shipowner ), apart from the old question about stamina vs experience, the wishful thinking, and the fact that we all have different taste as to what rocks our boat, all else that comes to mind is something about the Oedipus complex, and then it goes dark and beyond me.
What is 'my type'?
From mid 40's and up. Has had , knows what she wants, happy in her own skin. I hope!
Blonde. I promised myself my next girlfriend will be a blondie.
Long hair. I have my weaknesses.
Slim-ish. I am only slim myself and prefer it that way.
Up to 5' 4'', 5' 5'' max! My towering 5' 7'', and my love of her high heels! Or she can be taller but only come out bear foot, and wear heels in bed!
With mind. I have one, sometimes.
Has free time once a week. Next gardening competition winners, knitting champions, and gym fans need not apply.
Local. I am not trekking through 4 hours of traffic there and back just to hear what kind of day you had. Ok, throw dinner and a blowjob with that, and I am on my way!!! All rules have exceptions.
Drinker. I do. And I want to see her drunk.
Smoker. I do. And I want to kiss her.
Looking for casual fun or open to something more regular. I do, I think.
Car and job. Sometimes she will drive, and pay! We sharing, remember?
Add the integrity, sense of humor, honesty, high heels....
Erm, an olive grove owner in a Greek island? Ok, just wishful thinking. But even without the olive grove, she seems quite a catch. A rare creature? Remind me, why am I still a single man?  And for how long more? 
I think I will quit looking for 'my type' and start looking for the perfect woman. Turns up naked, brings beer. She should be easier to find!
Wanna joke? Or two?
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror
as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the
next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the
ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and
I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping
his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!
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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed
the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can
see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d!ck off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....'
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Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, You are the woman of my life. I love you. Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
The married woman: I sent the to stay at my mothers house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, “What's for dinner, Batman?”
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9 WORDS WOMEN USE
1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever' ).
8 ) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying FucK YOU!
9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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St Patrick's, anyday, at a Kerry village
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Posted:Mar 16, 2017 5:27 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2023 10:38 am
23526 Views
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Loneliness on one side, the moon light on the other, with her blue eyes and long blond hair, she nearly had me. Just some words from a song. They tell a story for me, and it's St Patrick's.
Sooo, on one of my visits to Ireland a few years back, in a little village in Kerry, I was having a few beers and sharing tales with some mates in one of the three popular pubs. The fourth is by the local beach, about a mile from the village. Then some of their other friends turned up, and later on, even more friends. ( Very Irish. You go out for a quiet drink on your own. Within 2 hours, there are about 23 of you now, taking almost half the pub garden over. You have been introduced to all, but can only remember a couple of names. Everyone else becomes a 'mate' or just Pat! For the gals, you just ask them. Every time! You are in for a long night. With the nicest meaning of 'long night'
We became a gang of about twenty guys and gals. We moved to another pub down the road, the new one, and part of the 'footprint' on my profile, of course. Drinks and stories, laughs and songs were free flowing for a while. It is always St Patrick's in Ireland, with the right people at the right place. There were subtle signs that one of the gals had her eyes on me. Helen was a quiet girl, but she would look at me, every time I spoke, or glanced at her. As a typical man, ( is it typical or is it only me? ) I failed to read the signs at the time. If it is anything less than been hit over the head with a frying pan, I don't do subtle. Not until years later, anyway.
She leaned over and whispered something to a mate of mine who was sitting next to her on the other side of our large table, they had a little giggle, he said to her, don't worry, I'll sort it. He then looked at me, and said in his loud voice : Hey 'toiler', Helen here likes to have a look on the new pub, will you show her around? ( see? other men can not do subtle either! ) As I stood up she offered me her hand. I held her and started the 'tour' Here I am, holding this Irish cutie's hand, walking around, telling her all about this place, how it all became, she looks at me, smiles often, and do I do subtle yet? Nope! At some point I mention inserting a curvy pint of Guinness made out of a black and a white tile, in the boys toilets, right in the wall, cutting it in, inserting it in one of the other, normal tiles. FOOOOOTPRIIIIINT!!! In the ladies, I did a glass of red wine made out of mirror for the glass shape, and a burgundy tile, again, carefully and oh so proudly thought of, created, and inserted in a tile in the wall, by Mr footprint, over here! Fine smooth edges, symmetry, the works, and loads of love. ( After more than ten years, this pub is still rare. Footprint on one hand, but most important, a natural slate counter top all around the bar, that still refuses to show ring marks from the glasses! Oh yeah, I done that, with these hands of mine ha ha! )
Let's see, she said. After having a look at the pint of Guinness tiled on the wall, I took her to the ladies. We made sure there was no one else in the room, so I led her in, still holding her dainty hand.
As the door shut behind us, she touched the glass of wine on the wall and said 'mmm, very nice, wonder what else you could show me, that's nice. I felt the frying pan on the back of my head! The penny dropped. Finally! I held her close as we kissed. She moaned softly. Like an angel! She was my Irish 'angel', for a few minutes. Then the effing fire alarm went, momentum was hit by a rocket. We all had to get out, there was no drama or panic scenes outside, everyone had managed to get out with their drink on hand, basically taking the pub to the street, all standing around chatting in absolute harmony, waiting for the all clear to go back in. Me and Helen had many things in common, as well as liking each other. We tried to appear normal but we both wanted more than a kiss. And we both knew it. It was hard, not to show it. Yeah, that was hard as well! There was no fire in the pub, just a false alarm, and Helen's fire was gone about an hour later, as well as Helen! She had to travel back to her seaside village early in the morning, in a few hours. I had to return to London a few days later. I often imagine her, on her , riding to the beach and back in the early mornings. What an angel she was. One of those times, where peoples 'journeys' are discovered to be parallel, but in opposite directions!
Loneliness on one side, the moon light on the other, with her blue eyes and long blond hair, she nearly had me. Just some words from a song?
Name has been changed to protect the innocent! But hello Jaaahny S. my...brother! You not innocent anyway!
Happy St Patric's day to all and thanx for reading.
And some, or more than some oirish jokes.
Seamus and Patrick fancied a pint or two, but not having a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." They went into a pub where Murphy immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whisky. Shamus said, "Now, you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!" Murphy replied, with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan.
Cheers!" They downed their drinks, and Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper, you
get down on your knees, and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out! They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free!
At the tenth pub, Shamus said, "Murphy, I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk, and me knees are killin' me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail."
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador .
"Blow that," says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
19 Paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have
announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8....
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking
through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the
ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will 'ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."
After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to
find that the Titanic’s swimming. pool was still full.
Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
He sees it says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to
figure out how to pick it up.
Paddy shouts frantically into the 'phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her
Contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first ?" asks the Doctor.
"No," shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"
An old Irish farmer's goes
missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says, "Why don't you put
an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy," he replies.
Paddy's in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What on earth you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck," says the Guard.
"I know," says Paddy
"but I couldn't breathe".
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.
"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend
Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick say "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
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Virtual Symposium 28, my 1st ever, how strange!
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Posted:Mar 2, 2017 4:39 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2023 2:52 am
22564 Views
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Life as a single man was finally getting easy. The struggles of years past had left their mark on him, in body and mind. But they were just that, years past. They had left him, along other things, a rich man. Not in material terms, flash cars, or bloated bank accounts, more as in a mental state of a good thinker. He had no need or plans for new loans, credit cards, or new mortgages to service. He also had no debts. He did not have a house to call his own, but he always had a home. Home was wherever he happened to be. A nomad, but no mad. He was earning less these days, but surprisingly he had more to spend than ever before. And although he had less material things, he was also happier. It had taken him years to realize that! Winter time, he would live in London, fixing that 'footprint' of his. In the summer, he would move to his holiday home, in Greece, in a little island in the middle of the Aegean. His summer home was not a luxury villa, but he had a roof over his head, and it was 20 meters from the beach. On the edge of an olive grove. The crickets sounds would force anyone sitting down, to a mini nap, but for him, coincidentally, it happened when the sun was at it's hottest and the shop was quiet. Everyday. In the early afternoon, when he pretended to read his book on his deckchair, under the shade of a tree. Right in front of his home, his boat was moored on the water. An old wooden tiny boat with oars, and a small outboard engine. He would use that, early mornings, to go out on the bay and fish. For lunch. His summer job during the days involved opening his shop up at 10 in the morning, and serve his customers until 6 in the evening. The work was not very stressful, but he had to look after his customers, the inventory, and the till. His wages were reflecting the lack of stress, but were enough for a few beers and a packet of tobacco everyday. At some evenings he would help on a local taverna for a couple of hours. It was enough to guarantee him use of the wash rooms, some dinner, and maybe one more beer. You see, his summer home was just a tent! In an olive grove.
The view, from my summer home, 05.30 AM late April
His shop was right in front, on the beach, hiring out two canoes and three pedalos! He would sit under his umbrella all day, observing the life on the beach, people watching, or planning his target for the evening if he felt lonely. A life stress free. Completely free. Not a care in the world, no need to even know the day or the date, as long as the sun kept coming up every morning. And it did. Day after day. Thoughts of London and the footprint would race through his mind at times, momentarily, like asteroids, now you see them now you don't. He did not wish to forget. And when he was in London, the asteroids were from the beach at summer. He liked both! He liked the life he was having at summers, in the summer, and his winter life, at winters. They were both kind of home from home. Both nice, both to be lived in, racing asteroids. Which side was the real one? Which was the dream? He never knew. How strange! A stranger in a strange land called home from home.
Joke? No Joke? Ok, tradition, so just the one. Not mine, obviously, from the stash...
Just to be clear
PRISON: You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
WORK: you spend most of your time in an 6X6 space
PRISON: You get three meals a day, fully paid for
WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
PRISON: For good behaviour, you get time off
WORK: For good behaviour, you get more work
PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
WORK: You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
PRISON: You can watch TV and play games
WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games
PRISON: You get your own toilet
WORK: You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit
WORK: You aren't even supposed to speak to your family
PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
WORK: You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens
WORK: They are called 'managers'
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To link to this blog (greekphilosopher) use [blog greekphilosopher] in your messages.
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