Black and White Wins by Four Votes!
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Posted:Dec 23, 2015 3:25 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2015 3:21 pm
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"Black and White" Is The Topic For The Fifteenth Virtual Symposium
A topic has been chosen for the Fifteenth Virtual Symposium. Black and white has nudged out the other topics by four votes. At the stroke of twelve midnight on the twenty sixth of December the festivities commence. Compose your post and send a link to humorlife so he can add you to the participants list. Early entries are fine and late arrivals will be welcomed as well.
Let your imaginations run wild. You can interpret the topic as broadly as you wish, and express yourself in prose, poetry, song or pictures. And keep in mind that participating, even if you only read the posts without submitting one, exposes you to bloggers you’ve never met before. It lets you see inside their heads, which are almost always way kinkier than the exterior. But if you create a post you just may dazzle the sexiest blogger you’ve ever stumbled into, so take a chance! You can’t win if you don’t play. This is your chance to meet exciting new people and perhaps fuck one of them. Bottoms up!
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"Black and White" Is The Topic For The Fifteenth Virtual SymposiumTimes
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The Fifteenth Virtual Symposium
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Posted:Dec 17, 2015 10:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2018 3:55 pm
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The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
The Virtual Symposium Returns: Let’s Pick A Topic!
It’s time to vote for a topic for the Fifteenth Virtual Symposium. The topics to choose from include:
Comics and cartoons
Fetishes
Black and white
Religion
Other (Write it in below.)
The virtual symposia are an excellent way to meet bloggers unknown to you before. Contributors vote for a topic from several suggestions and expound upon that topic in any number of ways- pictorially, in prose, posey or song. There are very few rules. Submissions should be posted on or about 27 December 2015 in the neighborhood of midnight, but it’s a loose deadline and early contributions are encouraged and late entries are welcome. Post a link to the blog of humorlife so that he can post a list of participants.
This is the best community building exercise the blogs have seen. We come here to interact with other members and any of us who blog here enjoy the social exchange with other bloggers on the site. Whether you’re a veteran blogger or submitting your first post, sharing our disparate views on a single topic is the single most interesting and enlightening way to get a glimpse into the inner workings of our fellows’ brains and imaginations. So set your brains free and let your imaginations run wild. And keep in mind there is always a chance that you will meet that one special blogger who touches not only your soul but possibly your genitalia as well. We’re here to meet interesting new people and fuck them, if we’re lucky, and you gotta jump in the pool to do that.
To vote, and to read the specifics, visit the blog of humorlife, The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic, The Virtual Symposium Returns: Let’s Pick A Topic!
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Early Dates
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Posted:Nov 28, 2015 4:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2020 9:37 pm
41622 Views
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First Dates Is The Topic For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium
I’ve thought a lot about first dates the last few days, since the topic was chosen for the Fourteenth Virtual Symposium. It doesn’t run to what most of us think when we hear “first dates” on a dating site. It doesn’t run to what I myself think either, blogging here. This is the Thanksgiving Symposium, and the dates I’m thinking of are historical. Among those dates is 11 November 1620, the day the Mayflower Compact was signed. The Pilgrims who created that document didn’t settle on a site for their fledging colony for another month, but in that agreement was the kernel of representative democracy in America among the immigrants. There is 4 May 1607, when the Virginia Company of London established James Fort, the first of what were to be permanent settlements in the New World. These adventures into North America were hundreds of miles apart, nearly as remote from one another as they were from Europe. They were remote from one another in other ways too.
For investors, America was a business venture from the beginning. Spain had reaped untold riches from pillaging the native people of the New World, and in addition to pirating those riches from Spain on the high seas, England hoped to mine the new land for gold and silver itself. In the first eleven years of Jamestown, something like eight thousand emigrants had come to the colony, all in order to maintain a population of barely a thousand. The death rate was that appalling. It took years to establish that it wouldn’t be mineral wealth, but tobacco that would ensure the financial success of the Virginia Colony, and human slavery would enhance those profits. In Massachusetts, it would be beaver pelts and timber that would bring profit. England, ever a nation of shopkeepers, got with the reduced program quickly and set about taking what profit it could however it could.
I have ancestors who came by both routes. My own same surname ancestor came on 16 July1767 as a slave, transported here for the theft of sixpence. He learned to grow tobacco after being sold as an indentured servant in the Annapolis market, and followed that occupation for the rest of his life. He was a pioneer always, and litigious all his life, leaving a court record wherever he went that made him easier to trace than a more amicable man might have been, paying his debts and his marriage bond in pounds of tobacco that were recorded from Lord Dunmore’s War to his service in the Revolution to his settlements in Kentucky and Ohio. I have an impression of him as a pugnacious old reprobate who was at all times cognizant of his rights as a free man, rights that he fought for and won hard.
Another branch of my family arrived in Massachusetts Bay Colony in 1642, fleeing the Civil War in England for the chance to start over in New England. Tristram Coffin became a Quaker, a dissident among dissidents. Quakers were not welcome in Massachusetts- their immigration was prohibited by law in 1656 and they were persecuted mercilessly by the Puritan government. In 1659 Tristram Coffin and a consortium of other Quakers bought Nantucket Island from its deed holder and settled there, to escape the hounding of the Puritan majority as much as to have a domain of their own. One member of the consortium, Thomas Macy, had been fined and admonished for giving shelter to Quaker travelers during a storm in 1657. You suspect that he had had his belly full of Puritans and their theocracy.
It’s been stated time after time that the Pilgrims who came here against all odds to establish God’s Kingdom on Earth came not so much to escape religious persecution as to find a place where they might practice it themselves. That certainly seems to have been their goal when you read the historical record. My own people, Quakers, were their victims, and required the intervention of King Charles the Second, who ordered that the Puritans cease and desist from hanging Quakers shortly after the Restoration in 1660. These Puritan separatists and dissenters did not willingly tolerate dissent in their own ranks. Their dealings with the native Americans betray a ruthlessness that was to be echoed throughout our history as a nation. They seem to have set a precedent. The bloodiest war ever fought on American soil- per capita- was not the American Civil War but King Phillip’s War, when the Wampanoag and other New England tribes were decimated by the colonists. The English themselves suffered mightily in that war but cemented their hegemony in an orgy of bloodlust that dealt a death blow to the Indian tribes. The colony would suffer from the attacks of Native Americans a little over decade later, but it would be the Algonquian allies of the French and not local tribes who threatened them.
The list of their sins is long, and still I have this affinity for those disagreeable people, the Puritans. There were sinners among them- genealogists and scholars have studied the meticulous records they kept and found that they drank, and cheated and stole and fornicated with abandon and were a constant trial to their civic and spiritual leaders. So this speaks well of them. They were human, after all. But they brought something besides their religious zeal and human frailty. The historian and demographer Kevin Phillips has wondered if there might be a gene for theological experimentation, a predilection for the creation of new religious sects and the invention of new doctrine that passes as the latest in the Word of God business. From Quakers to Shakers to Mormons to abolitionists to the Mother Chautauqua, they are always thinking and pondering and meddling. When sides were chosen prior to the American Civil War, the players were cast as Cavaliers versus Roundheads again, a virtual replay of the English Civil war, with Southerners promising themselves that they’d get free of those damned Puritans once and for all and advance the banner of Bonnie Prince Charlie. It was to be the aristocratic Stuarts fighting the disloyal and plebeian Parliamentarians in one final conflagration- yet again.
I think it’s the striving that seduces me. They are never fucking happy. This is ordinarily antithetical for me. Make the most of it, is my motto. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff. You get one life- enjoy it. Puritans cannot stand this attitude. They always see how a thing could be better, how it could be more fair…more godly. And they always hook me. My Quaker ancestor John Woolman was an early abolitionist. He could not leave well enough alone. How could he in good conscience rest when another man was a slave? A Quaker, in this context, is really a dissident Puritan, the quintessential Puritan. And he helped to convert the Puritans to the anti-slavery movement. Levi Coffin, another cousin, was an underground railroad conductor, in North Carolina and Indiana. These damned ancestors set a high bar. They repeatedly disregarded their own leisure and safety to follow some moral compass, some higher good. New England and western New York, where many Yankees settled after the Revolution, became a birthplace of radical theology and ideology
And they are constantly making things uncomfortable for the rest of us. I have all these dates roiling around in my head- 1620 and Plimouth Plantation, 1642 when Tristram Coffin sailed to Massachusetts, 1659 and the settlement of Nantucket, 1660 and the royal prohibition against the persecution of Quakers, 1689- King William’s War, 1767 and transportation as an indentured servant, and on and on. In 1776 my seventh great grandfather enlisted in the Jersey Blues and fought in the rout of the Continental Army in the Battle of Brooklyn. And 1861 when my abolitionist forbears lined up once more against yet another aristocracy. There is much to be proud of and a lot to live up to.
There’s one more date- 5 November 1605, Guy Fawkes Day. Guy Fawkes was the man fingered as the leader of the Gunpowder Plot, a plan by Catholics to blow up the Tower of London, assassinate King James the First and install a true Catholic monarch on the throne of England. Yet another dissident! The mask worn by Anonymous, the cyber dissidents who have publicly named members of ISIS and the Ku Klux Klan, is a Guy Fawkes mask, a symbol of dissidence and revolt. And I have an ancestor involved in this as well. The man who tortured and extracted Fawkes confession was my eleventh great grandfather, Sir William Waad, Lieutenant of the Tower of London, known to his captives as “that beast Waad”. One ancestor among thousands with a title, and he was a jailor and interrogator. You win some, you lose some. You can pick your friends, but you can’t do a damned thing about your family. At least I didn’t have to endure him for Thanksgiving dinner.
Sir William Waad
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First Dates is the Topic of the 14th Virtual Symposium
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Posted:Nov 18, 2015 1:35 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2015 10:09 am
40604 Views
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First Dates Is The Topic For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium
The topic of the Fourteenth Virtual Symposium is first dates. It might have been numerology. In that case I might have pointed out that at a time of showing solidarity with our oldest ally, France, that the Fourteenth of July this year was the two hundred and twenty sixth anniversary of the storming of the Bastille, which took place on 14 July 1789. It was a largely symbolic act. The Bastille Saint-Antoine was mostly empty when the Bourgeois Militia of Paris attacked. It was ancient, having been built in 1357 during the Hundred Years War, and had proven too expensive to maintain to house political prisoners, but still stood in popular imagination as a symbol of tyranny. The engagement began with negotiations between the royal garrison and the militia on the morning of the fourteenth. The militia were after the store of arms and powder housed there, and as the crowd confronting the garrison grew more restive a couple of them were invited inside to commence discussions in earnest. But the throng were impatient and rushed the courtyard, cutting the chains of the drawbridge. The battle raged until five thirty in the afternoon. The garde francaises and regular army mutineers entered the fray in mid afternoon, bolstering the ranks of the attackers. Several defenders of the fortress were killed, but ninety eight of the insurgents lost their lives. The governor may have given an order to fire cannon into the crowd but the rebels thought they had been trapped by a ruse to lure them in and they refused any further attempts at negotiations or a cease fire. By evening the Bastille was in the hands of the revolutionaries. There are nine hundred fifty four names on the roll of honor called the Vainqueurs de la Bastille.
What is the point of all this? The French know how to riot. When it comes to first dates, this date in my own memory always pops up when I think liberte, egalite, fraternite. In recent history the French have protested job losses- what we in the US call downsizing or right sizing they refer to as perfidy, piracy and a violation of their rights as citizens- by seizing the company’s headquarters and taking executives hostage. Vive la France! Meek and docile Americans who are accustomed to think themselves residents of the land of the free and the home of the brave could take lessons from the French on how to run a protest movement. True, some of those protests seem to have come to little. On more than one occasion I have nearly wept when observing that though they have burned thousands of cars in a riot, there are still a hundred thousand Renaults on the road.
First dates can be interpreted in any damn fool way you want, as I think I have effectively demonstrated. That is of course the idea of the symposia- take an idea chosen by popular vote and run wild with it, like the French do when rioting. Assert your independence! Flaunt your individuality! Do it by joining a group of social outcasts on a site devoted to free sexual expression and fulfillment and become a participant in the Fourteenth Virtual Symposium.
Visit the blog of humorlife for details of the Symposium. The rules are quite relaxed and the deadline flexible. The French would tolerate nothing less and certainly nothing more, and they, although small in number, have become irreplaceble contributors to the Symposia.
First Dates Is The Topic For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium, a creation midwifed by Dr. humorlife.
Vive la France!
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The Thanksgiving (American) Virtual Symposium Approaches: Let’s Pick A Topic!
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Posted:Nov 14, 2015 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2015 7:36 am
39794 Views
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The Thanksgiving American Virtual Symposium Approaches Lets Pick A Topic
The Thanksgiving (American) Virtual Symposium Approaches: Let’s Pick A Topic!
You will perhaps note that when I post a hotlink to anything on this site, I repeat it with text. Hotlinks on this site appear, and disappear, and go live and die and rise again more frequently than Zombie Jesus. We oughta form a church and avoid taxes: “Our Blessed Lady of the Dead Links and Vanished Photos”.
The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium approaches. This does not signal the Apocalypse- the candidacy of Donald Trump doesn’t do that either, however it may appear to despondent voters. In one case, the Symposium, the outcome is in our hands. We may lose or we may win, but we’ll never be here again, so vote!
Five categories of topic are proffered for your perusal:
First Dates
Numerology
Fetishes
Pose a Question (I don’t have anything specific in mind for this… interpret it as you will!)
Other (Write it in below. Longshot, but… why not? One of these days a write-in is going to win!)
The Symposia are all about us. It can’t be said enough that this is an exercise that strengthens us as a group. It’s about us- we express our own unique view on a selected topic, and submit it to our peers. We then sit back and read, and listen. And listening draws us closer.
If you stop to think about it, we are little interfered with here. In Blogtown, for the most part, we have freedom of expression. There are notable exceptions, but for the most part, the blogs are what we make of them. There is no single event here among the bloggers that offers more opportunity to make our voices heard to a wide audience than the Symposia. You don’t have to be Top Blogger. You don’t have to have one blog watcher. All you have to do is compose a post on the selected topic, interpreting it any way you choose- in verse, picture, prose or hieroglyphics and send notification to humorlife, the creator of the Symposia, on or about midnight Sunday 29 November.
The Thanksgiving (American) Virtual Symposium Approaches: Let’s Pick A Topic!
The Thanksgiving American Virtual Symposium Approaches Lets Pick A Topic
humorlife
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Burns and Crystals Medley
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Posted:Nov 10, 2015 8:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2015 11:22 pm
38996 Views
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O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That’s sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life do ron.
Da do ron ron ron, da do ron ron.
I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Somebody told me that his name was Bill
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Yeah, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
I knew what he was doing when he caught my eye
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
He looked so quiet but my oh my
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Yeah, he caught my eye
Yes, oh my, oh my
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
And fare thee weel, my only Luve
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.
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Sapiosexual I.Q. Test
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Posted:Oct 31, 2015 8:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2023 12:49 pm
44720 Views
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Sapiosexual I.Q. Test by PD
Test Your Sapiosexual IQ!
Choosing a sexual identity can be tough. But now that we have dozens, maybe hundreds, of sexual identities to choose from, figuring out what you are can be exhausting.
Not to worry! I'm not from the government, but I am here to help.
Could you possibly be sapiosexual? I know that I've never struggled with that question until this past week, but I am told that many, many others have been through hell trying to embrace their true sapiosexual nature, and so it isn't a fucking joke, Pam, so stop snickering.
Ok. I get it.
In case you have had as much trouble as I have figuring it out, I've devised a handy quiz that will resolve the matter easy as pie. So to speak.
Here we go:
1) A sapiosexual is a person who...
a) Only has sex with humans.
b) Has a fetish for tapping maple trees for syrup in the fall.
c) Has genetic material from a long lost race of hominids.
d) Titties!
2) You are invited to a sapiosexual wedding, but the happy couple has made things harder for you by not registering anywhere. You bring a wedding gift of…
a) Twin leather-bound copies of Godel, Escher, Bach.
b) A remarkably lifelike gorilla outfit for the wedding night.
c) A fucking blender.
d) Pussy! Cock! Titties!
3) The Sapiosexual Pride Parade is upon us again (already!) and you need a good costume this year, not the lame ass travesty you wore last year. You go as…
a) Stephen Hawking in full biker gear, including leather chaps and loud wheelchair pipes.
b) Marcel Proust in drag.
c) A fucking blender.
d) Ass fuck! Titties!
4) You take a chance on a sapiosexual speed dating event at your favorite Sap-Sex bar. You get lucky and hook up with…
a) A brilliant computer hacker who is fifty pounds overweight and hasn't showered or changed his Cheeto-encrusted Metallica shirt for three weeks.
b) An albino nuclear physicist.
c) A primate expert soaked in orangutan phermones.
d) Channing Tatum, naked.
5) Women possess peak intelligence and desirability when…
a) They are young, attractive graduate students surrounded by horny but nerdy professors.
b) They are smart enough to hang on your every word as if you were Jesus.
c) They show up naked, and bring food.
d) They have highly developed TITTIES!
6) You suspect your may be a sapiosexual. You help him through this difficult time by…
a) Hooking him up with some cheerleaders ASAP (oh god where have you gone wrong??)
b) Stocking your DVD collection with plenty of Woody Allen movies.
c) Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes!
d) Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
7) Someone who occasionally guest blogs at a sexy dating site with lots of nakey photos posts a stupid Sapiosexual IQ Test quiz thing as if it's a big joke. You respond by…
a) Calling the cops. (This is just fucking sick.)
b) Calling your psychiatrist and asking him out to a sex club.
c) Buying this guest blogger person a fucking blender.
d) Boobies! Po po's! Titties!
Oh, hey, are you still reading? Seriously? Wondering how to score your responses perhaps?
Honestly, the fact that you got all the way through this dumb ass quiz and you are still waiting for ME to tell you who you are, more or less proves that you are not getting laid nearly enough. Get off the goddamn internet and get busy for God's sake!
And don't forget: No matter what your sexual orientation, now matter how different we are seem to be on the outside, you can rest assured that we all share an appreciation and love of that one thing that makes us truly human and always will.
And that one thing, as we all know though rarely acknowledge is...
Tittles!
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Homo Sonofabitchicus
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Posted:Oct 31, 2015 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2023 12:15 am
47738 Views
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Homo Sonofabitchicus by Bill
Somewhere in the neighborhood of two hundred thousand years the species we call homo sapiens appeared in Africa. There may have been some detours and false starts along the way. Detours being what they are- poorly marked, lacking a proper road surface, often being routed through “questionable” parts of town- some of, maybe most of, those detours may have ended badly. Homo sapiens numero uno, let’s call him, might have lost his way, especially if he ended up in Indiana, where route markers are routinely posted two or three blocks AFTER you were supposed to have turned left. Suddenly homo s. numero uno would have found himself on Western Avenue leaving South Bend on Devil’s Night and in the midst of a “bonfire” as the locals refer to them but are actually conflagrations of biblical proportions. Suddenly realizing that he had missed Boston
(In the words of John Collins Bossidy:
“And this is good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,
And the Cabots talk only to God”)
and passed New York City (not entirely a bad thing) he nonetheless would have been nervous at being the odd man out, surrounded by hostile natives speaking a strange tongue wherein the name Peru is pronounced Pee roo and Lafayette is rendered as Laffy et. The inhabitants, known as homo hoosierensis were themselves one of those evolutionary tangents that led not to homo sapiens but were on a direct line leading from opossums to electricians and eventually to Lithuanians.
It is likely that this encounter led to the demise of homo sapiens numero uno. At the very least he’d have lost his gas money in a stickup or a crap game and been stuck there, his line merging involuntarily with hoosierensis and being diluted by the the locally prevailing recessive genes. Thus endeth the first part.
And so we see that detours and dead ends often amount to the same thing, until random chance and even more random mutation produced a specimen with a better sense of direction as well as the wisdom to stay home on Devil’s Night and carry his own loaded dice. Eventually a successful modern homo sapiens emerged and had enough luck clicking with the opposite sex to procreate and we, modern man, were off and running- from lions, leopards, cape buffalo and often from one another.
Modern science has more or less decided that in spite of diversity among homo sapiens to the eye of other homo sapiens, we are for all purposes identical to one another. It is no longer in vogue to consider that there are races of mankind, the similarities far outweighing superficial differences which are explained by such influences as how near the equator we may or may not live, as well as subtle differences in appearance that are not important to the lions or leopards chasing us, but are more like family traits that are passed from parent to quite recently in our history and in no way make any of us inedible or at all unpalatable, except to each other.
And here we are approaching the nut of the issue at hand. We homo sapiens are culturally quite tribal and quite competitive. We are quick to anger and fight and are equally at ease loving and fucking. We compete like bantam roosters for territory and tail within our tribe and yet when that tribe is perceived to be threatened we defend it as fiercely as a grizzly sow defends her cubs. Sometimes, when pondering how contentious we can be, it seems a miracle we can agree on enough details to get us in the sack and down to the business of copulating, but we manage it over and over again, and over and over and over. Well, some of us do, smart ones and dumb ones alike.
It seems at times as if we are different species altogether. We could name them- homo belligerensis, homo methodicus, homo metrosexualis, homo pretentious. It is homo pretentious who concerns us here, and a close relative of his, homo sapiosexualis. These are of course only apparently sub species of homo sapiens, but think a moment that we have named ourselves homo sapiens, sapiens coming from the latin “wise”. We don’t lack for confidence, do we? We’ve taken the “love yourself” memes seriously. It would appear that we judge as wise a beast who soils his nest and practices gluttony on such a scale that he has decimated the other creatures inhabiting the planet to the point of extinction and beyond despite professing pure joy that such diversity exists. Maybe we’re getting a little carried away with this wisdom business.
There is plenty of evidence that homo sapiens is none too sapient. For example, one commonly hears the statement, usually from an exhibition of homo pretentious, that “I don’t suffer fools gladly.” I don’t wonder at that. Clearly a fool doesn’t care for competition any more than the rest of us, although he wades in swinging. Turns him right into homo belligerensis. Homo pretentious is so confident in his own wisdom and superiority that he can aspire to associate only with his own kind, and does us all one better by turning up his nose at us run of the mill homo sapiens sapiens and restricts his reproductive efforts to the far superior homo sapiens sapiosexualis without so much as a “Fuck you”.
This strikes some of us…OK, it strikes ME, as being somewhat arrogant. It’s to be expected from a species that calls itself sapiens, but do we know when to shut up? The kind of condescension and pomposity required to pull this off with a straight face is staggering, but homo pretentious can manage it without mussing his pre-mussed and moussed hair or breaking a metrosexual nail. Is a kind heart and a generous and cooperative nature good for nothing? I reckon it is- it’s good for a laugh from homo sapiosexualis. And we know what mockery accomplishes, don’t we? Think on what Mark Twain has told us about the comparison between good nature and brains:
“There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.”
I’m hoping that the same can be done for sapiosexual. It’s ridiculous on the face of it. As the only criterion for arousal it’s pretty sadly lacking. Homo sapiens came up with a number of cultural innovations like soap, which when applied liberally with water will wash away the accumulated odor of toiling for our daily bread, and perfumes, which will cover it up, but neither one will remove or cover the stink of arrogance and elitism. Many of us are attracted to intelligence but in the absence of any other fine qualities you’re gonna end up blowing Donald Rumsfeld or Henry Kissinger.
Within our tribes we seem to have a need to separate ourselves from the common herd, so we sometimes invent a word to set us apart as unique. “I’m an artist. My creative talents may make me an insufferable ass, but it’s the kind of sacrifice that you must make to be regaled with my art. The kind of art you’re probably too stupid to understand and too cheap to buy.”
What the hell are the rest of us? Homo dumbfuck?
Probably I’m an old curmudgeon. When words like metrosexual and sapiosexual are coined, I groan. I’ve seen this shit before, and I remember that there is no new thing under the sun. Each generation comes along and convinces itself that it invented fucking. Nobody ever fucked before, not the way they fuck, with style and panache. Then they read a garbled and incomprehensible book by Ayn Rand and decide that they’re the first to truly understand that gibberish and need a new word to describe their infatuation with the fatuous, and they become sapiosexual, and fantasize about being anally pounded by Alan Greenspan. Well I hate to break it to them, but we’ve all been there and done that.
To quote Lewis Black:
-of-a-bitch!
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Wise guys! “Sapiosexuality - Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Topic
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Posted:Oct 26, 2015 11:34 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2018 11:13 pm
39311 Views
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Sapiosexuality The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium39s Topic
“Sapiosexuality -- The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex” Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium's Topic!
There have been twelve previous Virtual Symposia, and the thirteenth is imminent- a baker's dozen, a long dozen or, if you are of more dour outlook, a devil's dozen. This one is a lagniappe of sorts, but all the Symposia have been a gift. It's the contribution to civil discourse and merry banter of humorlife, a dear friend and a writer of unsurpassed skill and wit.
But it's also our gift to ourselves. In taking part we commit to offering a treatise on a chosen topic for the perusal and pleasure of our fellows. We offer up our own wit and our own skill to be examined in public- very public. Posting in a blog is a public thing. Posting in the Symposia is to have your name in lights, up on the marquee in an enormous cineplex. It's like being listed in the "Goings on about town" section in the front of The New Yorker magazine, next to an advertisement for fine art, or diamonds, or ballet. Pretty elite company we're keeping these days, ain't it? (I hope I don't get stuck next to Eileen Fisher. She's a very elegant looking woman but her designs for women say "I've had your 2.2 and I am done with sex. You can go fuck your receptionist now if you like but I don't want to know about it.")
Where was I? Oh, right, I was seeing a notice of my one man show on page ten. I hope this Thirteenth Virtual Symposium will also feature a contribution from my wife, but she hasn't returned my calls. We're not haggling over who gets top billing, as I always give her that- she wants champagne and orchids in her dressing room and I can only afford beer and daisies. And I simply refuse to provide a carpet runner of rose petals for her entry. She can be content with a scant pad of discarded testicles like every other married woman.
The symposia expose our creations to new and interesting people. It's like mixing at a party. And with a bit of luck, some of us may end up in the back bedroom where the coats are thrown upon the bed enjoying carnal knowledge of some comely partygoer who catches our fancy. To be on the safe side, I'm leaving my own coat in the car.
Visit humorlife and bone up on the details. Sapiosexuality The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium39s Topic.
“Sapiosexuality -- The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex” Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium's Topic!
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Al Sabo 22 October 2015
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Posted:Oct 23, 2015 6:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2015 10:05 pm
40534 Views
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Yesterday we had brilliant sunshine and windy cool weather. The sunlight makes the colors just pop. PD remarked that when she looked overhead along the trail, nearly anywhere, that it was like being in a gilded cathedral, but much more beautiful. We hiked about four miles at Al Sabo preserve, and reversed our circuit to try the different light from the new direction. It's sometimes hard to pick just ten photos to post. I'd like to share them all.
I love seeing the play of light on leaves and limbs. I love the way a shaft of light will spot and highlight a place on the forest floor, or light up a yellow tree as if the leaves were the source of all illumination. The sunlight really is in the leaves, bringing life to the tree, drawing up water from the soil like a thermosiphon. It's a miracle, especially when you understand how it works. A marvel of engineering, and although each tree is alike, all are unique.
We had a bumper crop of jack-in-the-pulpit this year and I kept an eye on them and marked where they grew. In late summer and early fall they bear fruit in little bright red berries. The plant had medicinal value to Native people but has to be handled with care. It contains oxalic acid, which can be extremely toxic. Our woods are full of berries this fall.
I hope you enjoy the photos. This was our afternoon hike.
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The 's Tale
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Posted:Oct 23, 2015 10:52 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2018 11:51 am
38675 Views
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The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
The Virtual Symposium Returns: Let’s Pick A Topic!
This will be the Thirteenth Virtual Symposium. (This is a paid political announcement for my friend humorlife. Vote!)
Thirteen is a magic number, if you're inclined to think of numbers as magical or mysterious or loaded with symbolic meaning. Of course numbers are by their very nature symbolic. They're merely an idea and can't be touched except in a conceptual or a spiritual way. They lend themselves to thinking and dreaming and organizing. We try hard to find order in our lives, certainty in an uncertain and confusing world, and numbers give us comfort and sustenance in that search. I am fairly convinced that the order we discover is as illusory as the numbers we count it with, but it really doesn't matter. The search and the yearning is what matters. It makes us human.
We are social animals and we order ourselves in that same way. We form groups and tribes instinctively, and gravitate to certain crowds that seem to be like we are, and that's what draws some of us to this site, and in a subset, to these blogs. The Virtual Symposia are a bonding experience. It's a way to express our individuality at the same time that it strengthens our sense of belonging. We tend to compete within our groups and tribes, and cooperate as a tribe to compete with other tribes. We're part competition and and part cooperation. Both qualities are essential. Listening to each other is also essential if we're to understand one another and feel included.
Join the Symposium. Vote on a topic and let your imagination run with it. You will meet and better understand other bloggers in doing it, and it may just result in that ultimate bonding experience, the one that lured us all here- you have an opportunity to meet beautiful and sexy new people and perhaps fuck them. Life is a cabaret!
The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
The Virtual Symposium Returns: Let's Pick A Topic!
It is the magnum opus of humorlife
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Tuesday at Asylum Lake
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Posted:Oct 22, 2015 6:35 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2015 11:12 am
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Ten more pictures from our hike at Asylum Lake Preserve. God I love this place.
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Asylum Lake 20 October 2015
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Posted:Oct 22, 2015 6:26 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2015 11:11 am
37452 Views
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It was another beautiful October day. the sky to the north of Asylum Lake stayed an ominous dark grey and to the south a brilliant blue with cottony white clouds. The photos can speak for themselves.
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To link to this blog (kzoopair) use [blog kzoopair] in your messages.
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