Sounds like fun......
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Posted:Aug 19, 2008 7:04 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2008 2:34 am
1251 Views
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HUG O'WAR
(Shel Silverstein)
I will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o'war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.
I don't know about you, but it sounds like a game I'd love to play....
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2
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This is just neat
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Posted:Aug 18, 2008 3:36 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2008 2:36 am
1169 Views
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It's amazing what some people can come up with.
Just a pile of junk - until the sun hits it....
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1
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Just a little Sarcastic....
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Posted:Aug 17, 2008 2:26 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2008 2:37 am
1231 Views
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Ever stop to think,
and forget to start again?
I may be a cold hearted and unloving bitch,
but I'm damn good at it.
Jesus loves you,
BUT
everyone else thinks you're an ass!
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1
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OMG - He left me......
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Posted:Aug 16, 2008 3:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2013 3:13 pm
1524 Views
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No Shit...He Left Me --
STUCK IN THE MUD!!!
Damn - and I don't mean a little stuck...no, stuck as in - in a ditch with mud covering the front bumper and within three inches of the door handles....
And....he freaking left me....(after he's the one that got me THAT stuck)
What the Hell are friends for....
well at least the benefits are dammyyuumm good. 
Now in his defense:
1. We were in his home territory.
2. He did go and send someone with a tractor to get me out (not sure how he explained it though).
3. He did call to tell me that he had sent someone to get me and he did call back to make sure I got out.
4. He also pointed out that I did the same damn thing to him....of course that was fifteen years ago...
5. And luckily - he is worth it...
But still he left me.....bet your ass he's gonna pay for it next time...
Did I mention - it took me ten minutes with the high pressure washer to get all of the mud off?
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5
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Gotta Love a Smart Ass......
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Posted:Aug 13, 2008 4:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2008 2:41 am
1143 Views
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A man boarded a plane with 6 .
After they got settled in their seats a
woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned
over to him and asked,
'Are all of those yours?'
He replied,
'No. I work for a condom company.
These are customer complaints'
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0
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Okay ---- I can't kill him
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Posted:Aug 12, 2008 6:09 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 10:42 am
1164 Views
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You've told me I couldn't kill him, even though I gave birth to him....
Can I put him up for adoption??
He's cute - expensive - spoiled - grumpy - no job- thinks the world is owed to him (okay - that's inherited from his dad) ---
I don't think I'm going to get any takers - so I guess I'll just keep him  .... oh well - they keep telling me I'll like him again....
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0
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Awww Hell - Say it ain't so.....
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Posted:Aug 10, 2008 11:24 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2009 11:25 am
1172 Views
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Okay I admit -- sometimes I'm just not the brightest bulb in the box; but this revelation just struck me out of the blue......
It is physically possible for me to become a parent and a grandparent within any given nine months......
I'm young enough and o'mine is old enough that there technically would be not problem with me having another or him fathering a .
(Although if either happened you would have to either visit the funny farm to find me or the local jail.....)
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3
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The sad part is .... it's true.....
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Posted:Aug 10, 2008 11:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2008 4:13 pm
1264 Views
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THINGS LEARNED FROM RAISING BOYS
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
5.)It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
21.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
22.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
23.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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4
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I'm tired...
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Posted:Aug 9, 2008 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2008 12:30 pm
1195 Views
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I'm tired of being an adult....
Damnit it just ain't fun anymore....
I had a funeral this morning to attend
(at least she was a 79 year old who had a good life)
a wake this afternoon
(this one really pissed me off - a 49 year old friend decided he couldn't handle life anymore and committed suicide -- dumb ass.....)
a birthday party tonight
(a good friend's .... growing up quick)
Okay - at least it got better as dusk turned to night, but I still would have rather stayed in bed all day.....
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1
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Fuck Me Shoes....
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Posted:Aug 7, 2008 7:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 11, 2008 2:27 pm
1218 Views
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Don't be shy ---
I know you like them, and women how many pairs do you really own????
These are my favorite ones --
Put these on with black hose, black silk teddy, and I feel just delicious.....
What is about these types of shoes that just make you want them,
who cares if you can walk in them or not?????
p.s. - I own the black ones....
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1
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And the answer is.........
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Posted:Aug 7, 2008 5:05 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2008 6:04 am
1156 Views
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From Flash Back ---
34 1/2 = 1/2 of a 69
(going either way)
Ice Cream = either sex or cum
(my uncle actually started this at a family retreat -- he and my aunt disappeared and when they got back - he was singing about getting some "ice cream"....)
Rain Coat = Condom
(I think that one is pretty universal)
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