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 Welcome to Sexy TIMES!This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved. Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain! Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUESSexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq. Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore] The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism. |
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HER NAME IS RIO
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Posted:Jul 31, 2016 12:30 pm
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2016 12:23 am
67092 Views
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The Olympic Games are about to start. The opening ceremony takes place this coming Friday in the iconic city of Rio de Janeiro.
The usual moans are in full force how the city won’t be ready. These moans seem to follow any city from a relatively poor country holding a major sporting event. I don’t think any city can be fully ready.
Also dominating the Olympic news is the mass banning of Russian athletes because of the state-sponsored doping programme in Russia. I’m sure Vladimir Putin will get even when the next World Cup is hosted in Russia or perhaps even beforehand by stealing another slice of Ukraine!
Perhaps the biggest scare story doing the rounds is the spread of the zika virus, which has now reached Florida. Though the risk is real, the risk can easily be managed not least because mosquitoes don’t thrive in a Brazilian winter. The virus can also be sexually transmitted, but Olympic athletes are given a free supply of condoms in their pursuit of sporting excellence.
The zika virus particularly affects pregnant women, so I don’t know why so many male golfers, including the four top-ranked golfers, refuse to go to Rio for the Olympics.
Golf has just been granted Olympic status after a very long absence from the Olympic Games. Perhaps golf will be thrown out and jousting will take its place. There are serious talks between the International Olympic Committee and the Fédération Equestre Internationale to bring this medieval sport into the Olympic arena.
Will you watch the Olympic Games in Rio?
If so, what sports will you watch?
I’ll watch all the sitting-down sports like cycling, riding, rowing and yachting. For some reason, the British do well at these sports! I’ll also enjoy the 100m sprint to see whether Usain Bolt can still do his magic. I’ll enjoy watching water polo too, especially as cameras pick up all the underwater shenanigans. And there's always beach volleyball to distract me!
Four years ago London hosted the Olympics. I was very proud of these Olympics. I know they’ve now become the most doped Olympic Games ever, which perhaps isn't the legacy that Sebastian Coe had in mind! But the London Olympics showed Britain being outward-looking and embracing multiculturalism.
Four years later after the Brexit vote, Britain is becoming more inward-looking and accepting only monoculturalism. How times change, though the Queen can still do a mean parachute jump!
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FROM BIKINIS TO FACEKINIS
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Posted:Jul 27, 2016 11:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2021 8:59 am
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The world’s first bikini was designed by a French car engineer, Louis Réard. The bikini was launched on 5 July 1946 in Paris. The French designer was unable to persuade any models to wear his bikini, so he hired a naked dancer to wear the bikini at the launch.
Louis Réard called his navel-revealing swimwear the bikini after the Bikini Atoll, a South Pacific island, where, four days earlier, the United States held its first peace-time nuclear weapons test.
In 1951 bikinis were banned from the Miss World contest. The swimsuit was declared sinful by the Vatican and even banned in many places (eg Italy, Spain, Australia, several American states and even parts of France).
The bikini soon became popular in France, but it was not until the 1950s and 1960s that the bikini caught on elsewhere after many famous actresses were widely seen wearing a bikini, most notably Brigitte Bardot in the 1956 film And God Created Woman and Ursula Andress in the 1962 Dr. No film.
By the end of the twentieth century, the bikini had become the world’s most popular beachwear, though one survey found that 85 per cent of bikinis have never touched water.
As well as bikinis, there are now mankinis popularised by Sacha Baron Cohen in the Borat film and nunkinis made famous by Kate Upton in The Three Stooges film. The latest inexplicable beachwear craze in China is the facekini! And let’s not forget budgie smugglers and posing pouches!
What 'ini' would you most like to wear on the beach - a bikini, mankini, nunkini or facekini?
What swimwear do you normally wear?
I'd be happy to wear any 'ini', though I normally wear swimming briefs or shorts. The last time I wore a pair of Speedos I was thrown out of the swimming pool after the letter 'S' had fallen off my trunks!
a bikini:
a mankini:
a nunkini:
a pair of Speedos:
a pair of budgie smugglers:
a posing pouch:
a facekini:
an ini:
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LE TOUR EST FINI
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Posted:Jul 25, 2016 1:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2022 9:38 am
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Team Sky on the Champs-Élysées:
Chris Froome, yellow jersey, running up the hill:
Peter Sagan, green jersey:
Rafal Majka, polka dot jersey:
Adam Yates, white jersey, fallen by a collapsed inflatable:
I’m still being bombarded by imaginary mail asking me to update you all on Le Tour de France, which is now over. Chris Froome won the yellow jersey. Romain Bardet, Nairo Qintana and Adam Yates came second, third and fourth respectively. At the start of Le Tour de France, I predicted Chris Froome to win in Paris, followed by Nairo Quintana, Vincenzo Nibali and Romain Bardet. Three out of four isn’t bad!
Peter Sagan, road cycling’s superstar, got the green jersey for bring the best sprinter; Rafal Majka got the polka dot jersey for being the best climber, and Adam Yates got the white jersey for the best placed young rider.
Though there was just under 12 minutes separating the top ten riders on Le Tour, the race wasn’t close. Chris Froome’s Team Sky dominated the race; they often rode at the front of the peloton at a high pace preventing other teams attacking. Also Team Sky had the best super-domestique assisting its team leader Chris Froome; Wout Poels was immense, especially in the mountains, in protecting his leader.
British riders won 7 of the 21 stages of this edition of Le Tour de France. Mark Cavendish, a sprinter, bagged four stages to become second behind the legendary Eddy Merckx in winning the most stages in the history of Le Tour.
As usual, there were lots of crashes in Le Tour de France. Adam Yates had an inflatable arch collapse on him as he was riding under it. Julian Alaphilippe, Mister Angry of Le Tour, had a spectacular crash. Pretty-boy Tom Dumoulin broke his wrist; he was the red-hot favourite to win the Olympics road cycling time-trial but he’s very unlikely now to make Rio in two weeks time.
Three leading cyclists, Richie Porte, Bouka Mollema and Chris Froome, had a nasty crash as they rode into a motorcycle that had to quickly stop because of a throng of spectators lining the narrow mountainous route. Chris Froome’s bike broke in the crash and, because his support car was a long way off, he started to run up the mountain towards the finish line.
Did you watch any of Le Tour de France?
I love Le Tour de France and now I’ve got the blues as I have to wait another year for the next edition. And I want to thank you all for indulging me in one of my passions.
For other Tour de France blog posts, see BICYCLE RACE, LE TOUR DE FARCE, THE PELOTON AND A WHEELSUCKER, A DOMESTIC GODDESS AND A DOMESTIQUE, WATCH ME NAKED ON THE TOUR, BACK FROM LYON, LE MAILLOT JAUNE, SOME COLOMBIAN, AN INCIDENT AT THE SWIMMING POOL, MEN CAN MULTITASK, THE CURSE OF YELLOW, A COCK WAS SHOWING AND THE ALPS ARE COMING, EL DIABLO39S NAKED GRAND TOUR, LE TOUR DE FRANCE and BRITS WEARING SUNGLASSES INVADE FRANCE.
Mark Cavendish:
Wout Poels and Chris Froome:
Julian Alaphilippe:
Tom Dumoulin:
Richie Porte, Bouka Mollema and Chris Froome:
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BAD ATTITUDE
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Posted:Jul 22, 2016 10:36 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2016 1:18 pm
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Above is a photograph of the then Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho berating the then Chelsea’s team doctor Eva Carneiro for dashing onto a football pitch to treat Chelsea’s star player Eden Hazard last season.
Despite the doctor’s professional and contractual obligations to treat injured players, Mourinho was displaying bad attitude towards Carneiro because her actions meant Chelsea were left chasing a game they were losing with only nine players on the pitch.
Mourinho was later sacked by Chelsea; Carneiro was handsomely compensated by the club for constructive dismissal; and Mourinho was later appointed as the new manager of Manchester United, one of Chelsea’s main rivals.
Yesterday evening I was accused of displaying bad attitude by my girlfriend. While cooking a meal, she asked me how I liked my peas done. I sarcastically answered "cooked"!
She wasn’t at all impressed with my answer to what I thought was a crazy question. Sometimes I can have too much choice and choosing how my peas are cooked is definitely too much choice!
When was the last time you showed bad attitude?
How do you like your peas cooked?
Below is a photograph of my girlfriend having sex with me last night. I think she’s displaying very bad attitude! It seems women who have sex with me have the desire to do something else while I’m on the go!
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WHOSE RED DRESS?
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Posted:Jul 20, 2016 11:20 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2016 2:56 am
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red dress 1:
Everyone seems to like a red dress. Though I like a red dress, I’ve never worn one not least because the colour red doesn’t suit my pale skin after carefully avoiding the sun for decades!
Do you like wearing red?
Above and below are ten red dresses worn by famous people.
Can you work out who is wearing what red dress?
A prize, and I mean a substantial prize, will be awarded to the person who knows who wears the most red dresses. No cheating!
This post is in support of a former member on this site, nicelipps66, who hopefully will return to the site and grace blogland again. Please see HNW Bloggers’s [group_post 3617444] group post for other bloggers’ postings of support.
red dress 2:
red dress 3:
red dress 4:
red dress 5:
red dress 6:
red dress 7:
red dress 8:
red dress 9:
red dress 10:
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I HATE DEADLINES
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Posted:Jul 18, 2016 11:48 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2016 1:17 pm
67929 Views
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It seems everyone asking someone to do something has to set a deadline or anyone wanting something has to do it by a given deadline. Deadlines are rarely negotiated; they’re imposed by the powerful onto the powerless.
Deadlines are the bane of my life and the scourge of my work. I can handle no more than one deadline a day. I’m a man and so I can only do one thing at a time!
Most of my work time is spent meeting deadlines set by others for their convenience. I distinguish between hard deadlines, ones that have to be met, and soft deadlines, ones that don’t have to be met. But I’ve noticed I face more deadlines, and more hard deadlines, than when I first started working. And I’ve noticed I hardly set any deadlines for others to meet.
I must admit I start something only when I can sense a deadline looming, so perhaps I need a deadline. I do procrastinate a lot without deadlines! My last deadline was to write a report and my next deadline is to write another report.
Generally I’m not good with deadlines because deadlines aren’t good to me!
Are you good at meeting deadlines?
What was your last deadline and what is your next deadline?
The word 'deadline' first appeared during the American Civil War. On 10 May 1864 the inspector of the Confederate reported on the terrible conditions of the Andersonville Prison and wrote: "On the inside of the stockade and twenty feet from it there is a dead-line established, over which no prisoner is allowed to go, day or night, under penalty of being shot."
In the early nineteenth century, the word 'deadline' was used in the printing industry; it was a line beyond which printers should not type. Since the 1920s, the word is increasingly used to refer to time limits.
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BRITS WEARING SUNGLASSES INVADE FRANCE
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Posted:Jul 13, 2016 10:22 am
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2022 9:38 am
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Chris Froome (right):
Adam Yates (right):
Mark Cavendish:
Steve Cummings:
I’m still getting loads of mail pleading for an update on the Tour de France. So, ever anxious to please, here’s my update.
In my last LE TOUR DE FRANCE post, I predicted Chris Froome to win in Paris, followed by Nairo Quintana, Vincenzo Nibali and Romain Bardet. Chris Froome is leading the Tour at the moment, followed by another British rider, Adam Yates.
One pre-race favourite, Alberto Contador has quit the Tour after two nasty crashes. Another pre-race favourite, Vincenzo Nibali, is not performing consistently well. Romain Bardet, along with other French riders, isn’t troubling the Tour leaders.
There are eight British cyclists riding in the Tour. Three of them - Chris Froome, Mark Cavendish and Steve Cummings - have won five of the 11 stages so far completed. It is clear, following the Brexit vote, the British are now taking over France as a back-door way of remaining in the European Union.
It seems de rigueur for cyclists on the Tour to wear sunglasses even when it's raining; that’s my nod to the theme of this week’s Half Nekkid Wednesday.
Have you ever had sex while wearing sunglasses?
A few years ago while walking in the woods on a bright sunny day, I had sex wearing sunglasses. While my partner was bent over a fallen tree, I felt like a porn star as I had my way with her!
Next week’s Half Nekkid Wednesday theme is 'Red For Nicelipss' in support of a former site member, nicelipss66 - see HNW Bloggers’ [group_post 3617444] post.
For other Tour de France blog posts, see BICYCLE RACE, LE TOUR DE FARCE, THE PELOTON AND A WHEELSUCKER, A DOMESTIC GODDESS AND A DOMESTIQUE, WATCH ME NAKED ON THE TOUR, BACK FROM LYON, LE MAILLOT JAUNE, SOME COLOMBIAN, AN INCIDENT AT THE SWIMMING POOL, MEN CAN MULTITASK, THE CURSE OF YELLOW, A COCK WAS SHOWING AND THE ALPS ARE COMING, EL DIABLO39S NAKED GRAND TOUR and LE TOUR DE FRANCE.
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NAKED IN HULL
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Posted:Jul 11, 2016 11:31 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2016 1:16 pm
68382 Views
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Above is a group of people getting naked in Hull, a Northern English city.
Hull is one of those end-of-the-line places that you don’t pass through but you have to go to. Despite being UK’s City of Culture next year, Hull hasn’t got a lot going for it, though it was the birthplace of William Wilberforce who campaigned for the abolition of slavery in the British Empire.
Hull is one of the most depressing cities I’ve visited along with Wolverhampton in the English Midlands and Vienna in Austria. Wolverhampton is a rundown city overshadowed by Birmingham; and Vienna is just too twee, everything works!
The American photographer Spencer Tunick - see below - organised the gathering of naked people in Hull. He painted the naked people blue to reflect the North Sea that the city overlooks.
Spencer Tunick specialises in getting lots of naked people together in the name of art, or more specifically installation art. Below are some of his installation artworks.
I think I could be an artist if it meant lots of close contact with naked people!
What’s the worst city that you’ve visited?
Do you regard a gathering of naked people as art?
Would you volunteer to be in one of Spencer Tunick’s artworks?
I like Spencer Tunick’s work, not least because it reassures me that some people still have pubic hair!
His artwork allows people of all ages, shapes and sizes to shed their inhibitions, get together, commune, reclaim their surroundings and make an exhibition of themselves. I would definitely volunteer to be installed in Spencer Tunick’s artwork if he was ever to visit Nottingham. If I can’t be footnote in history, I’ll settle for being immortalised in art!
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IT’S PARTY TIME
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Posted:Jul 8, 2016 11:09 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2016 1:16 pm
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In her book A Curious Invitation, Suzette Field wrote about the forty greatest parties in literature. As well as an author, she is a professional party planner. For her, a party is simply a social gathering, at which a group of people get together in the hope of "enjoying, displaying or otherwise promoting themselves".
There are dinner parties, birthday parties, family parties, anniversary parties, fancy dress parties, house parties, garden parties, barbecue parties, disco parties, Tupperware parties, ballroom parties, cocktail parties, club parties, karaoke parties, house-warming parties, Avon parties, graduation parties, murder mystery parties, office parties, retirement parties, pool parties, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, New Year’s Eve parties, wine tasting parties, tea parties, rave parties, black tie parties, street parties, funeral parties, wedding parties, fundraising parties, Ann Summers parties, beach parties, masquerade parties, toga parties and sex parties. Almost any event is used as an excuse to have a party.
Generally I love parties but there are some parties I love going to more than other parties. I’m very keen on house parties, disco parties, Christmas parties, funeral parties, wedding parties and sex parties. I’m less keen on club parties, karaoke parties, murder mystery parties, office parties, retirement parties and New Year’s Eve parties.
I’ve always found funeral parties quite jolly affairs especially if the person who has died is someone I didn’t like! Work-related parties are either very boring if no alcohol is involved or very dangerous if lots of alcohol is involved. Dinner parties are okay, but it all depends who you sit next to for dinner.
What was the last party you went to?
What are your most and least favourite types of parties?
My last party was a birthday party for my girlfriend. It was okay though, because of a mix of adults and and family and friends, it was a little constraining as I couldn’t get too drunk. I was also a host!
One of the worst parties I’ve been to was my own New Year’s Eve party - only four other people showed up! The best parties I’ve been to are sex parties; they’re just like parties with lots of sex!
However, I would like to attend a masquerade party, provided Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman aren’t invited! Any invitations will be gratefully accepted!
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LE TOUR DE FRANCE
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Posted:Jul 3, 2016 1:20 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2022 9:38 am
83046 Views
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Mont Saint-Michel:
Chris Froome, Team Sky:
Nairo Quintana, Movistar Team:
Vincenzo Nibali, Astana:
Romain Bardet, Team Ag2r-La Mondiale:
Le Tour de France has started; I’m now a happy man! Well, I’ll be a relatively happy man until the end of this month when the Tour ends on the Champs-Élysées in Paris. Le Grand Depart took place from the stunning island of Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy.
Normally I don’t get much mail on this site, but in recent weeks I’ve been inundated with mail asking me to blog about the Tour de France. Slightly reluctantly I will oblige by giving the punters what they want!
The Tour de France is a tough race, arguably one of the toughest sporting events to win. Just imagine having to get on a bike and cycle for up to four hours a day every day for a month with only a couple of rest days thrown in.
The race involves sprints and climbs in cold and hot weather. The cycling teams are all corporate teams now because of the money needed to compete, but when the Tour was first established the teams were country-based teams and France often won. Now corporate, French riders rarely win. Capitalism! Globalisation! Global capitalism!
Teams that want to win the Tour de France, as opposed to individual stages, have to recruit a mix of different types of cyclists to support their team leaders, known as GC (General Classification) riders.
The GC rider is someone who is aiming to complete all the stages of the Tour de France in the fastest time. They have to be good at everything except perhaps at sprinting, but they can’t win alone. The GC rider will need his domestiques.
Domestiques are the cyclists whose sole purpose on the Tour is to support their team leader. They will fetch and carry food and water to their leader, shield their leader from winds, watch out and counter attacks from other teams, hang back to guide the team leader back to the peleton if the leader crashes or suffers a mechanical breakdown, and even give their bike to the leader. The job of the domestique is all about sacrifice.
What’s been your biggest sacrifice?
When’s the last time you rode a bike?
Have you ever ridden a bike naked?
I have no so my sacrifices have been very meagre and largely tokenistic. I last rode a bike about ten years ago and I've yet to experience the joys of naked cycling.
My prediction for this Tour de France is for Chris Froome to win. Nairo Quintana, Vincenzo Nibali and Romain Bardet will finish second, third and fourth respectively. Sorry Alberto Contador but your time is up!
For other Tour de France blog posts, see BICYCLE RACE, LE TOUR DE FARCE, THE PELOTON AND A WHEELSUCKER, A DOMESTIC GODDESS AND A DOMESTIQUE, WATCH ME NAKED ON THE TOUR, BACK FROM LYON, LE MAILLOT JAUNE, SOME COLOMBIAN, AN INCIDENT AT THE SWIMMING POOL, MEN CAN MULTITASK, THE CURSE OF YELLOW, A COCK WAS SHOWING AND THE ALPS ARE COMING and EL DIABLO39S NAKED GRAND TOUR.
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AND NOW ENGLAND ARE OUT OF EUROPE!
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Posted:Jun 29, 2016 12:47 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2016 8:56 am
71461 Views
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1. A photo-shoot:
England’s football team has just crashed out of the European Championships being played in France. Mighty Iceland, with a population of just over 300,000 people and no professional football league, beat England, with a population of over 53 million people and the richest professional league in the world. Perhaps it was karma for Thursday’s referendum result!
With Britain leaving Europe and now England out of Europe, I' so pissed off (that’s pissed to my American friends) that I cannot compose a blog post. Instead I’m just going to post ten random favourite photographs in my collection just to prove I’m still alive and kicking!
What’s your favourite photograph, and why?
My favourite photo is Mount Roraimi because the cloud-wrapped mountain looks like a delicious cut of steak!
I’ve never felt so down in my life. Even being dumped by a love of my life doesn’t compare to how I feel about Britain leaving Europe. I wake up each morning thinking it’s a bad dream only to realise it’s a living nightmare. My identity is far closer to being European than it is to being English. Vive Europe!
2. A pair of breasts:
3. The Crooked Forest, Poland:
4. Two women:
5. A kingfisher:
6 Some rear views:
7. Mount Roraimi, Venezuela:
8. A lonely nipple:
9. A hippopotamus and a jacana bird:
10. A male fantasy:
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A UNITED KINGDOM?
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Posted:Jun 24, 2016 6:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2016 8:55 am
74030 Views
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It’s all kicking off in Britain today. Yesterday Britain voted to leave the European Union. Today Prime Minister David Cameron announced his resignation, Labour MPs have tabled a vote of no confidence in their leader Jeremy Corbyn, the SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon confirmed that a second referendum on Scottish independence is on the table, the value of sterling against the dollar has fallen by 10 per cent, the stock market has crashed and the Bank of England is on standby with £250 billion to bail out the economy.
I am totally stunned about the referendum result. Totally stunned, not even the thought of an orgy tonight can rescue my mood! I am a committed Europhile.
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is a very divided country. With a relatively high turnout for the referendum, 52 per cent of those who voted wanted out with 48 per cent wanting in.
In yesterday’s referendum, London. Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to remain in the European Union, and Wales and England outside London voted to leave the European Union. Younger people voted overwhelmingly to remain in the European Union, and older people voted largely to leave the European Union. The political and economic elite largely wanted Britain to stay in the European Union, but voters gave the Establishment a good kicking.
There are lots of reasons why Britain voted to leave. But David Cameron ignored the golden law of politics which is to never call an election unless you’re sure of winning! Cameron called a referendum mainly as a way to stem the flow of support from the Conservative Party to the UK Independence Party. It was an act of domestic politics, a calculation that spectacularly went wrong for the Prime Minister.
European leaders are furious with Cameron for his gamble; Barack Obama has yet to vent his anger at the hapless Prime Minister! Donald Trump welcomed Britain’s decision and no doubt Vladimir Putin is smiling at the referendum result. If your friends want you to remain and enemies want you to leave, why did so many people vote out?
My view, for what it’s worth, is that Britain is still suffering from post-imperial delusions of grandeur! When the European Union was first formed in the 1950s, Britain refused to join with one of its politicians claiming that "We don’t need you; you need us"! Within ten years, Britain changed its mind and applied to join the European Union but its application was vetoed twice by the French who felt that Britain would be a Trojan for America in Europe! In 1973 and after much American pressure on European leaders, Britain was allowed to join the European Union, but now after nearly 50 years Britain has changed its mind.
I’m in total shock; I don’t think I will perform well at tonight’s orgy! Does anyone want to take my place?
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AND WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER
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Posted:Jun 19, 2016 10:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2022 7:14 am
68386 Views
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Above is William Frederick Yeames’ painting, And When Did You Last See Your Father. Painted in 1878, it depicts a scene from the English Civil War waged between supporters of King Charles I and Parliament from 1642 to 1651. The Parliamentarians, known as the roundheads and led by Oliver Cromwell, had captured two young of a prominent Royalist supporter. The younger brother was asked by the Roundhead captors, "And when did you last see his father?" The boy innocently told the truth. His older sister cried knowing what their father was about to be caught and executed because of his answer.
Today is Fathers Day. I’m not a father so this day isn’t for me. However, I did have a father who I loved dearly. My Dad died about six years ago. Recently I came across the eulogy I gave at his funeral. Below is my tribute to my father.
"Kind, soft, gentle, generous, warm, compassionate, loving, honest, hard working, polite, thoughtful, respectful, caring and, underneath all this, very determined. Anyway, enough of me!
These are the words that come into my head when I think about my Dad, especially since he died ten days ago.
I am not going to talk about the details of my Dad’s life; his achievements and his interests which, I am sure, will be familiar to family and friends present here. We will all have our own thoughts about my Dad, and I just want to share a few of my thoughts to you all as a tribute to my Dad; thoughts, which I hope, will resonate with you.
My Dad was very much a family man; his family meant a lot to him. He was a loving and a loving brother. Over the last twenty years, he was a loving grandfather.
My Dad was a loving father. He was very proud of my brother for, among other things, giving him three grandchildren (with a little help from his wife) and running the farm. Though I never presented him with grandchildren nor showed any interest in farming, I came to realise he was proud of me. Many years ago, it was always in the back of mind that maybe he was disappointed in me for not being a farmer. Over the last few years I now realise that he was far from disappointed and that he did everything possible to allow me to fly the farming nest. I will be forever grateful for how my Dad supported and encouraged me. I used to tease him that by me not wanting to farm, I saved him a lot of money as he did not have to set up two sons up in farming. Though he always laughed, he never coughed up those monies!
Certainly his most important relationship in his life was with my Mum. He was a very loving husband. When my Mum died over two years ago, my Dad’s world had just collapsed. He had lost someone he dearly loved and married for nearly 50 years. Also at the time of Mum’s death, she was the main carer for my Dad, who was increasingly showing signs of age. How my Dad responded to my Mum’s death was something that I am very proud of. With the help of family, friends and others, he rose to the challenge and managed to stay at home, albeit with a few incidents, keeping heart and soul together until almost the end. He was inspirational.
His relationship with my Mum was a very strong one, even in times of adversity when my Mum was struck down with motor neurone disease. At the time, my Mum could do the things that my Dad was not so good at (for example, remembering things) and my Dad could do the things that my Mum was not so good at (for example, opening letters, answering the phone). They were a brilliant team.
Over the last few years my Dad’s hearing was not so good and the combination of Mum struggling to speak and my Dad struggling to hear sometimes made for some interesting viewing at times. Once my Dad asked my Mum where something was, my Mum replied that Sue, one of their carers, had put it in the kitchen. My Dad thought my Mum had said 'You put it in the kitchen' and protested that he had not. My Mum struggled again to say that Sue had put it there, but my Dad was getting increasingly exasperated and insisted he had not put it in the kitchen. He then turned round to me saying 'Look what I have to put up with'. My Mum then called him stupid, which, true to form, my Dad did not hear and asked me what my Mum had said. I replied 'You’re stupid'. Straight away we all laughed. My Mum meant the world to my Dad.
One of the reasons I wanted to say a few words is that I wanted to say some of these words to him when he was alive. But, though I told him many things, there were a few things that I was not able to say to him because, for me, he all too suddenly died. I am not religious and I do not think he will hear them. But I am open minded and who knows? My Dad did believe in God and so maybe he will hear them.
Though our worlds were quite different, we always got on very well and we were close to each other. We always talked, whether it was about farming, politics, football, Formula One or life in general. Though I never managed to shake his belief in God, his support for the Queen and his vote for the Tories (and did I try!), he taught me what it is to be human. He was my father, my friend, and my role model. He was home for me. Though home has now gone, my memories will remain strong and hopefully he will now be my guardian angel. Dad, I love you; I always loved you and I will always love you."
What words would you use to describe your father?
I want to wish all Dads here a very Happy Fathers Day.
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